geez people. apparently reverse physiology worked better. that or i need to pick up the quality of the writing.... THANKS.

fa lalala la, la la la laaaaaaaaaa!!!
merry christmas/happy boxing day/new years/valentine's day

"What's wrong?" someone asked and I jumped up with inhuman reflexes and got into a steady defensive position. I relaxed when I saw it was a pitiful human boy who had a spine I could always snap in half if he gave me any trouble. "Do you speak Italian?"

"What?" did I really look that white? "Of course I speak Italian." I said harshly. "This is Volterra, Italy."

"Sorry," he put his hands up in mock innocence.

Everything Aro had taught me told me to stay away from him and return to the castle but I felt like being a rowdy teenager instead of a picture perfect vampire daughter. He was that tall, dark, and hansom type that didn't come along too much in Italy so I was just going to take advantage of his gentle looks for my own personal revenge on Aro. That's not at all cynical or self centered, right?

"Are you alright? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying!" I wiped away the last of my tears and forced a smile. "I'm bored, is there anything to do?"

"It's two in the morning."

"And your point?" I guess he wasn't nocturnal like me so to him time actually meant something. "You don't exactly look like you're dressed to go to sleep. And if you are we need to have a serious conversation on your jammies."

"I was going to a party," he admitted holding out his hand. "Raphael."

"Nessie," I shook it. Serafinda, while a traditional Italian name, wasn't exactly common. The Loch Ness Monster, however, was much more people friendly.

"I haven't seen you around here before," he started walking to his party and I could feel the faint vibrations through the ground of distant music far before I could make out the toon. If this was Raphael's invitation to go to this party then I wasn't missing this human experience. "Are you from around here?"

"Yeah," I said automatically but immediately regretted it.

"Where do you live? You don't go to school here."

"I'm home schooled," I said which was a lie of omission. "I was born in America though, Washington. I'm pretty sure."

"Los Estados Unidos," he said in surprise. "Well have you ever been to one of these parties before? Think you can handle it?"

"I'm oddly not compelled to rip your throat out so I should do just fine in a room filled with deafening music and hormone-ridden teenagers," I said, sarcasm dripping off every word even though I didn't need it.

"Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded" Raphael quoted and I gave him credit. Mostly for knowing something of anyone called Fyodor Dostoevsky.

"I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty... But I am too busy thinking about myself." I knew someone said that of importance. Of course I remembered good ol' Fyodor but not the guy who wrote The Observer.

The sounds of music got louder as the streets became more and more like they belonged in old photographs. I was sure that any human would be able to hear a dull melody out of the blaring music but to me it was as if the speakers were right next to my ears and I quickly occupied my mind with how many cobble stones there were in the street before I could follow Raphael through the door.

Fashion had recycled itself once more and nothing seemed to have changed except everything was shorter. And the lights were brighter than the ones I looked up on the internet. I continue to believe Google is a saint and that I was totally overdressed for the occasion. For God's sake it was a school function!

We have one good school in Volterra. Here was my picture perfect purgatory but seeing that I had been living in hell, purgatory was a three star hotel. I wrinkled my nose at the sharp smell of alcohol, well alcohol or anti-freeze, maybe a combination of the two. Raphael didn't seem to mind as he dragged me through the school halls and my shoes skid on the linoleum tiles.

It was a good thing that the undead don't have a conscience or else I would be strongly compelled to turn on my heels. Any living part of me that had a conscience was being blocked out because by a new found vindictive personality.

Fashion had recycled itself once again recycled itself and the clothes looked exactly like they did thirty years ago. Well, much shorter, but basically the same. Nothing really had changed since I was born. America was still at war, gas prices were at record highs, but Volterra just stood still, a paradise compared to what was going on around the globe.

"Let's dance!" screamed Raphael over the blaring music and I smiled, the atmosphere getting to me. I slipped my hair out and shook it out before I joined him on the lit dance floor and applied everything I learned of music videos and YouTube.

EPOV

Today was one of the days we didn't talk about. Everyone had seen it coming on the calendar and my family tried to keep their thoughts under control though I didn't have to be a mind reader to know what they were thinking.

It was her birthday. We tried to ignore it like any other day of the year but every so often an image of my daughter's curly hair and bright eyes would pop into someone's head. Bella was quieter these days and I did everything in my power to make her feel better but the truth was I ached as terribly as her.

"Edward," Alice said quietly. "We have to go to school."

Yes, that was the plan. We were to do everything as normally as possible which included school, conversation, and false normalcy. It was tiring and I worried for Bella, she hardly spoke two words to me except for the occasional "I love you" but for the most part she just tried to cry.

Emmett appeared to be in much gloom but hid it well through a faux smile and some jokes I was moderately sure he had taken off candy wrappers. Part of his despair had to be Rosalie who had succeed in masking her sorrow with sarcasm and bitter remarks about everything that annoyed her, including fingerprints on the walls and the angle of napkins and the placement of the utensils on top of them.

Alice, for the most part, kept up the moral but that was because Jasper was in the closest thing to an emotional hell. Vampires can't commit suicide for obvious reasons but he was certainly close.

The Oregon house was certainly more modern than the one back in Washington, it was completely cube based to never remind Bella of our lives back there and everything we left behind. I don't think any of us could get of Renesme but least of all Bella. I felt a very human chill fall on me when I made my way into the garage. Emmett would probably drive to insure I didn't crash with everything on my mind.

The seven of us got into two cars and if anyone asked why we were so depressed we would just lie and say it had to do with the upcoming date of the terrorist attacks that happened 32 years ago. It was complicated and I could only hold my darling Bella and whisper words of console that I didn't even hear.

"We have a math test," Bella muttered into my sleeve. "I didn't study."

"You're a vampire about to acclimate a vast archive of knowledge that you have an eternity to make." said Emmett. "It's okay if you don't ace every test."

"I think you're using acclimate in the wrong context."

"See Bella, your know-it-all husband can cheat, get the answers off some dork four rooms away," he wasn't even looking at the road now. "The rest of us are just left behind to suffer in the dark world of not mind reading. Do you think I get a 100 on every test? No, and that's because I'm trying to appear to be normal and keep my average in the human ability range."

Bella cracked a smile so I didn't complete a terrible grammar failure. Emmett smiled satisfied, I took in a deep breath and let my brother park crookedly in the school parking lot and internally I groaned. I missed my Volvo, admittedly, but it was just a car and it was part of Washington it stayed in the past. Alice was more upset about her Porsche so I let it slide. Today was going to be a long day.

Alice!!!!

I was seriously running out of songs to sing loudly and mildly off-key in my head. You can only make up so many verses for Smells Like Teen Spirit before you want to shoot yourself. How many freaking times does the guy have to say hello to us? We get it!

"Focus Alice," Edward murmured.

"Force=Mass x Acceleration" I answered the question before Mrs. Lynd could ask me. "Oh yeah, I knew what you were going to ask me. And I think you and your husband are going to have a rather intriguing conversation on what you did last night."

"Alice," Edward warned. "What did I tell you about seafood? You know it give you bad dreams."

"I'm edgy, deal with it!" I got up and glared at Edward only to realize everyone else in the class was staring at me. I sunk back into my chair and continued to shoot the death glare at Joseph Killam because he was the closest person to me who wouldn't realize why I was in such a mood.

"Someone's a little emotional," Sarah Conaway whispered behind me.

"I HEARD THAT!"

The bell rang, well, buzzed was a better adjective ever since bells became obsolete ten years ago. I hurried off to la clase de espanol even though I was fluent. And I knew about the pop quiz today. And that Em would get spoon- la cuchara mixed up with knife- el cuchillo and would be apparently having soup off a knife. Good luck with that.

Bella was depressed and we were doing little to cheer her up. We totally ran out of ideas last year when we went to adventure land. I pondered what would happen if I took her to a shooting range...apparently it would relieve stress. I walked as fast as I could while still appearing human and struggling with three inch high stiletto heel boots. Uggs were so last decade.

There were few things that annoyed me as much as the Spanish classroom. It was painted this wannabe beige color with green linoleum tiles didn't exactly look blend. I sat next to Bella, it was the only class I had with her that didn't have anyone else of the family in it. Jasper was supposed to be in this class but I had a feeling he would cut, Bells had been throwing him kind of out of whack this week.

"I'm becoming Jasper," I told her brightly.

"Over emotional and slightly depressing?" she looked up with a fake smile. "Okay I'll stop faking."

"Come on, it's just today until we hit the weekend," I tried to brighten her up. "You know what that means. Camping, hunting, baseball, Emmett failing in a game of truth or dare and getting attacked by a turkey..."

"There aren't any wild turkeys in Oregon, are there?"

"The future is not set in stone my dear sister," I said as the bell buzzed again and I took my seat. Rosalie walked in five minutes into the period wearing thigh high leather boots and a black Chanel jacket with gold trim. I didn't have to see the future to know that Emmett was walking into his class at around the same time.

"Miss-" he didn't really mind, my teacher, that some super model had just walked into the classroom. Needless to say he didn't press her to get out.

"Rosy, is there something you want to tell me?" I asked when she just stood in front of my desk; the male population had their gazes locked on her which wasn't at all conspicuous.

"You haven't, you know...?"

"Um..." if I had a clue about what she was talking about I would have answered. Rosalie made up her mind to tell me so a quick vision flashed in front of me that she was going to ask if I had any visions about Nessie. "ROSE! What the hell!"

"You're certainly subtle today," she muttered. "Just asking because, well," she looked back at the class who was still paying more attention to her than our teacher trying to go on with her lesson. "Edward's has a hunch."

"Edward always has a hunch!" Rose was right; subtle was SOOOO not my thing.

"Stop it both of you!" Bella now stood up and everyone, even the teacher, stared at us. "I know what you're talking about! How many times do you think I've wanted to search the world? Run across the country, swim to Italy, walk up to Aro and demand that he tell me why he-" she broke down and fell back into her seat, she would have been crying if she knew how.

"Bella," I tried to comfort her.

"What's wrong, what did you do?" Edward ordered at me as he walked into the classroom.

"You don't belong in this room," my teacher tried to shoo him away but Edward just pushed past him.

"Stop it, just stop." Her voice was so small that I barley caught it. "She's gone, dead, and I'm not. And it's my fault. I just have to live with it."

"What's going on?" Jasper and Emmett both came in.

"Please, come in!" Mr. Moriliss opened his arms in exaggeration. "Everyone else is! Are there any other Cullens you would like to tell me about!?"

I could feel everyone calming down at Jasper's presence. Thank God because it would keep the rest of the students from questioning why we were all huddled around our sister who was dry sobbing.

A very long day indeed.

It was about 8 A.M. and I had all but passed out on a small table. I groaned every small sound too loud and the sunlight starting to shine through musty gym windows was too bright.

Sunlight?

"Dammit!" I screamed jumping out of my seat, losing my balance and falling to the floor. I pushed fallen streamers away from my face and scrambled onto my feet. Okay, truth be told, I had never actually been out in sunlight but it didn't seem to do anything to anyone when filtered through a "Not good, not good..."

"What's wrong?" I wasn't the only one still left passed out on the abandoned school grounds. Raphael put his arm around me and remembered what I did last night. I groaned clutching my head as a migraine cued itself in. "Didn't you enjoy yourself last night?"

"God, don't bring up last night," I pushed him away brusquely. Believe me, it was a great night, I didn't think it was physically possible for me to drink so much and my memory circuit to still work but then again I was me, living proof of the impossible. "And trust me, I wasn't the only one enjoying myself last night. Isn't that right Raphael?"

"It was a party, at least let me take you home."

I snorted. "No way in hell." I mentally brought up a layout of the city and factored in the sun's position. I was subconsciously planning the quickest route out of the school and to the nearest airport which was Ampugnano. "Look, you're a nice guy and I like you a lot."

Lie.

"You don't want to get involved with my family," I told him flatly.

"Please, this is Italy, everyone has a crazy family," he waved it off and took me by the arm. "Nessie, I'm trying to do something nice for you, just let me take you home and tell your parents that it was all my fault. What's the worst they could do?"

"Best case scenario is that they'll cut you up into tiny pieces while you're still alive and burn them in front of you."

"That's a little scary," Raphael said and I pulled my arm from him while he was distracted.

"Wanna hear the worst case scenario?"

"I don't believe that will be necessary. I find that demonstration is much more effective," I snapped around to see Alec and Caius in traditional black robes and I was not in the mood to see them right now. Caius was eying Raphael in disappointment. "Honestly Serafinda, what were you thinking?"

"Serafinda?" Alec squinted. We normally got along, it was Jane I had issues with. "Your hair looks terrible."

"Caius," I growled. "Leave. Now."

"Is this your family?" asked Raphael. "You match," he looked at the black robes.

"Not funny," I said looking at him.

"Um, Sera?" Alec interrupted. "Who is he? He doesn't smell very good."

"Hey!"

"Shut up," Caius ordered. "Serafinda, you will come back with us immediately. If you do not come peacefully you will be captured and treated like a captive for you will have deified a direct order from your master, Aro."

Ooh, SO threatening...

"Nessie, what's this about?" Raphael looked rather pale. "What does he mean, 'your master?'"

"Or what if I refused to be taken?" I wanted to sound as if I wasn't at all intimidated but I still took a few steps away from Caius. "I know Alec will follow you on every order, no offence but you kinda do. What will you do Caius? Kill me?" I almost laughed. "Like my parents? Like Jacob? Or God knows how many others, but I swear to you Caius, if you so much as lay a hand on me I will personally burn you in pieces."

"What is with you people and burning each other?" Raphael asked.

"Oh why the hell do I even bother?" I asked myself when I saw Alec's fog inching closer to me. I looked terrified to Raphael who stood in ignorance. "Running would be a good idea."

"Brilliant!" I didn't think he understood my urgency at the creeping fog but when Caius took out a blade the size of my torso, Raphael bolted.

When we reached the entrance we split up. It took precious moments for my eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight that I had never been out it. I had to stick to the shadows which was easy to do because the buildings in Voletrra were classic but still amazingly tall. The only problem I was having was that the moment I reached El Borgo San Lazzaro I was screwed because there was no cover to help me.

I ran through Volterra because my newly found life depended on it. I didn't stand too much of a chance against Caius, in fact, it was a miracle I hadn't been caught by then. Unfortunately my thoughts brought about Murphy's Law and I literally ran into Caius a block away from the market place.

Figuratively, I was cornered. I had a wall to one side, a massive amount of people to another, and a hell of a lot of sunlight blocking the only path Caius wasn't taking up.

"It was a shame," Caius said darkly. "You would have liked to hear his neck snap. But that should keep Alec busy for a while; she won't come looking for you. So I have you all to my self."

He took a step towards me and I tried to back away. I kept stepping back until I hit the stone wall. I looked up in vain to see there was no way I could climb it and even if I could I had heard all the myths about vampires shriveling up like a raisin in the sun.

"Any last words?" he unsheathed his knife and a very human chill ran down my spine.

The cold sparked a memory. I had the worst timing in the world! I mean, come on, I'm about to die here and now I get to unlock the secrets to my past? Damn irony. I heard Caius's knife again, this time against the ancient wood sheath we used for "special occasions" i.e. dramatic deaths. I kept my eyes closed tight and I watched the memory from someone else's eyes.

"Oh you have GOT to be kidding me!" I screamed when I figured out what it was about.

--
sorry, i typed this up on a school comp trying because the laptop is over heating. i wish you all belated holidays but i got it in before valentine's day, right? dont bag on my grammar until you find me a beta.
-jace