Danny was gone. She'd begun to accept that now, but that didn't mean she wasn't incredibly stressed about going back to work. At home there was nobody to give her that little head tilt anymore, she'd warned everyone off that, but at work there were 900 pupils and a whole mass of teachers to ask her questions and tell her how sorry they were, she just didn't want to think about that. Clara sighed as she packed up her bag and put it down to make tea before she left. As she did she heard her phone go on the side and turning around she saw it was a number that had tried her a few times in the last couple of days.
"Who's that?" Her gran asked, she'd insisted on being there for Clara today and actually, as much as she told everyone she was okay, she was grateful for that support today.
"No idea, some weird number I've been ignoring, they keep ringing it's getting a little frustrating to be honest." Clara sighed, silencing her phone and sticking it in her pocket while her gran flicked the kettle on. "Did you sleep okay?" She asked.
"Wonderfully, that spare bed of yours is very comfortable. How about you?" Her gran asked, looking at her with a slightly concerned expression – she knew Clara better than anyone now. Clara just shrugged. "Still not great then, you know if you're not up to work…" She gave her gran a look.
"I need to get back to work Gran, I'm fed up with sitting and staring out of that damn window," Clara gestured towards her living room, "I'd much rather sit and stare out of my classroom." She smiled and her gran rolled her eyes and handed over her tea. "Thanks." She took the mug but groaned as her phone vibrated again and she saw the same number on the screen as she checked it.
"Maybe you should answer?" Clara sighed and nodded, sliding the screen to answer the call and lifting the phone to her ear.
"Clara?" The voice on the other end came as a shock and she nearly dropped her tea. Thankfully she managed to place it down safely and went straight in to her bedroom before she replied. "You there…?" He spoke again.
"Yeah… I… are you… I don't understand." Clara still couldn't decide if she was hearing right. It wouldn't be the first time she'd heard it wrong but this… no it couldn't be.
"No me neither, it took me ages to work out how to call you I ended up calling some Chinese place at least 3 times honestly it's much harder once you're dead." How could it be Danny? How could he be on the phone?
"Don't say that. Don't every say that." She reacted immediately to the word, looking in her mirror and trying to decide if she was dreaming or not. It all seemed real so far, except her dead boyfriend phoning her… that bit was more difficult to understand. Clara checked the phone again, she was definitely in the call, the number was still strange and she could still hear him.
"Sorry, I've kinda got used to it now I guess. Are you okay I know this must be a little weird for you I mean…" Clara felt herself start to tear up as she finally realised this must be him. The Doctor never said this was a possibility, maybe he didn't know, but either way here she was talking to Danny Pink. "We don't have to do this, I told you to get on with your life and I want you to do that, I really do. I can't come back Clara, all I'll ever be is a voice on the end of a phone now and if that's going to stop you from being who you should be then we can't do this." Clara could hear the panic in his voice as he spoke.
"No! Danny no don't go for goodness sake not again… please." She replied quicker than she probably should have. "I can't believe this are you actually there I don't understand." Clara glanced up at the clock but dismissed it.
"Me neither really but evidently I can do this. So how are you? It must be the end of the holidays now right? Are you going back?" He asked. Clara sat up against the back of her bed, bringing her knees up to her chest while they spoke.
"Mmm." Clara replied, knowing she should really be leaving to get there.
"I know you're looking forward to it more than that, you love your job and that was true before I came in to the picture." Danny replied, right as always.
"I am, I just don't want to deal with all the sympathetic looks and questions, I just want to get there and work you know? But that's not going to happen. I just want to get on and teach and nobody seems to actually believe that they're sure I need all this TLC and it really just doesn't help. They tell me there's some special assembly this morning I swear if they want me to speak…" Clara started.
"You mean you can't think of anything nice to say about me? Clara Oswald I'm almost offended." She could sense him grinning at the other end of the line and she chuckled slightly. "Now that's better, I like that sound more than the slightly upset one. If you do have to talk I'd go with that one." Clara smiled gently, wrapping her spare arms around her legs.
"Thanks for the advice; I'll bare that in mind. I wish you could be there…" She added, sighing a little and biting her bottom lip.
"If I could be there, I think you'll find there wouldn't be a there to be." Danny told her, right once more. "You'll be fine sweetheart; you can do this I know you can. If for nothing else, do it for me." Clara nodded, keeping silent for a moment and Danny simply waited for her to reply. Clara shut her eyes, wanting to imagine he was there for just a moment, wishing he could put his arms around her and make her smile. The silence dragged on, Danny gave up waiting. "You been off with the Doctor?" He asked.
"A couple of times, it's good to get away sometimes, it's a nice release." Clara said quietly, rubbing a little at her leg – a nervous tick.
"Good, you should. Just stay safe for goodness sake we can't be losing any more teachers they'll have a meltdown." Danny chuckled, Clara smiled a little but she couldn't help but think something.
"At least I'd get to see you." She said almost without working out if it was a good thing or not.
"No Clara! No don't ever say that! For goodness sake don't even think it; you are not coming here anytime soon. You have a life to live, so many wonderful things to do so you go do them. Be happy, move on, meet someone else and get married, whatever makes you happy. But you are never coming here, I've told you that once before and I mean every word. Clara I love you, I'll always love you and whatever happens it seems I can always be here for you, but don't be sad and alone." Clara felt the tears start to fall as he spoke, sniffling a little as she tried to clear them. "Hey, no I just told you not to be sad didn't I? Clara you've always been so strong and independent, you don't need me."
Clara shook her head, he didn't understand. "I don't need you, that doesn't mean I don't want you. Sure I can get back in to work and I'll love it, I can go back to being me again but I love you Danny, that won't change. I said something to you before you…"
"I know, I heard it, but you don't have to keep that promise." He told her.
"Danny I don't break promises, not ever. I'm not ruling out a future relationship, but those words are always yours. Whoever is unlucky enough to find me will have to accept that." She spoke seriously. As she finished there was a knock at the bedroom door and Clara suddenly looked at the clock again and realised she was already late. "Oh gosh I need to go it's almost half 8… I don't want to hang up…"
"I'll call you after okay? This only works one way, and I don't want you waiting around for phone calls, promise me?" He asked and Clara nodded, before realising how ridiculous this was and replying.
"I will have far too much work to do don't worry. I love you, I miss you." Clara stood up as her Gran opened the door. "I have to go." She hung up, staring for a moment at her phone in disbelief before putting it in to her pocket and quickly wiping at her face again before smiling at her Gran. "Sorry, turns out that was pretty important. I'm gonna have to hope the traffic lights are in my favour now so I'll see you later. Thanks Gran." She hugged her quickly, grabbing her keys and her bags before running out before she could spot anything was wrong.
The day was hard, harder than she'd been expecting. The pupils were trying their best but they didn't really help, and the teachers were even worse. The lessons weren't too bad, when she could just focus on the things she loved, but the moment anyone started talking to her about Danny she had to push the conversation on quickly to avoid embarrassment. By the time she made it home Clara was shattered both emotionally and physically and she really just needed to sleep, but sadly the pile of work said otherwise.
She made her way in to the kitchen and put her bag down on the top and grabbed the bottle of wine off the side and a glass from the shelf, pouring a little and leaning against the worktop to sip at it, briefly shutting her eyes. When she opened them her Gran was stood at the door looking a little concerned.
"I'm fine, you don't need to stay I'm just going to be working all evening." Clara smiled softly and put the glass down for a moment to look in the fridge.
"There's dinner in the oven Clara, I figured you'd be busy." Her Gran told her, still not leaving the room. "I'll go as long as you can promise me one thing." Clara shut the fridge door and turned around to wait for her request. "Don't ever feel alone. If you need me I'll be straight back." Clara nodded and went over, hugging her.
"You've been amazing Gran, you've got me through the last few weeks. I need to attempt independence again now though, but I really appreciate it. Go catch up on everything you've been putting on hold for me okay?" They released each other and Clara saw her Gran out, almost scared to let her go but knowing it was what she needed to do.
Once she'd gone, Clara grabbed her glass and sat down with the pile of work she had to organise, flicking the TV on as a bit of background entertainment. With books piled around her she started to sort everything out, but soon realised what she was missing and looked to the side of her, sighing and leaning back against the sofa, picking up her glass. The TV was on but the room felt silent. She missed having company in the evenings as had become a regular occurrence before this all happened; she missed the constant teasing and distraction even if she pretended to despise it.
She looked back down at her work and sighed, pulling her legs back up as she'd spent a lot of time sat recently. Her mind wandered away from work and she worked her way through memories as she finished up the wine in her glass, putting it down and considering whether to get up to refill. She remembered the day Danny first came back to hers after school, he'd told her off for getting the wine out the cupboard, she'd just laughed. It wasn't something she always did, in fact she rarely did, but that day she had and Danny had tried to grab it off her by tickling her sides and they'd both ended up on the sofa laughing. They didn't get anywhere near enough marking done that night.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing. She quickly grabbed it, but sighed at the ID. Normally this phone call would excite her, not today. She reluctantly answered it, pulling the phone up to her ear.
"Clara! You'll never guess what I've found." The Doctor was excited over something, that was for sure.
"Correct. What have you found?" Clara asked, not overly interested at the moment and so decided to stand up and go through to the kitchen with her glass while she was on the phone.
"Oh come on aren't you excited?" He clearly had picked up on the tone of her voice. Clara sighed, looking around to decide what to have next.
"Of course I'm just really busy, so come on, what have you found?" She decided it would probably be better to talk as normally as she could to get this conversation over.
"Fish!" Clara eventually decided more wine would be a bad idea and flicked the kettle on.
"Fish? Doctor I have those in my living room that's really not very exciting…" she poured the water in to her mug and waited for the tea to brew.
"Not normal fish obviously, I wouldn't phone you over them they just swim around looking at castles, they don't even have a horse. No Clara, these are walking talking fish who invited me to an all-night party with cocktails, I thought you might enjoy that. I could really do with someone to stop me insulting anyone else." She almost laughed, almost.
"Who have you insulted already?!" Clara asked, shaking her head a little – she couldn't leave him alone for 5 minutes these days – definitely needed to do something about that.
"It's a long story, just never introduce yourself as a prince to the prince, they tend to notice." She rolled her eyes as she listened, finally removing the teabag from her mug and going to the fridge for the milk.
"Right… steer clear of the royalty in future, at least when you're alone." Clara instructed, pouring the milk in.
"Advice taken. So shall I come and get you?" He asked, still sounding a little like a child in a sweet shop.
"I really am busy Doctor; I could do with just focussing on work right now. Can't we go another time?" She could almost hear his disappointment.
"I have a time machine we can always go another time, but you never want to go another time." He stated.
"And you never phone and ask for permission before turning up, sometimes we break habits." Clara observed – she'd question him further on that another time, right now she just wanted to end this conversation. "I need to get on. I'll call you." She hung up before he could say anything else, taking her phone and mug back in to the lounge to try and carry on with her work. As she sat down her phone rang again, she sighed and answered it without looking at the screen. "No fish. No parties. I need to work can you not get that?!"
"I'm not sure I want to…" Danny's voice came through the phone and Clara immediately calmed, biting her lip a little.
"Sorry I thought you were…"
"The Doctor? Really? You flatter me." Danny replied and Clara chuckled slightly. "You sound stressed, today wasn't good?" He asked.
"It wasn't bad; I don't regret going back I just had to fight to avoid conversations that might have got too emotional I guess. I think people were starting to get the idea by the end of the day though, but it was tiring." She explained, flicking the TV off now.
"Have you been sleeping?" Danny asked, Clara tried a quick answer to avoid the question.
"I've only been home an hour, give me a chance." She said a little sarcastically, but not overly convincingly considering how well Danny could always read her.
"You know what I mean Clara, are you sleeping?" He asked in all seriousness, she could imagine him sitting in front of her and staring her out too.
"Yes." She replied simply.
"Are you sleeping well?" He tried.
"Enough. I'm fine, honestly." She didn't want him worrying; he didn't need to know that.
"Clara I know you're trying to hide things from me, there's really no point. Talk to me, are you eating? I know you Clara; I know what you're like. I know how you distract yourself when thing get difficult and you tend to forget the important things, you know like eating and sleeping." He told her, Clara went silent. "Look I know I'm not allowed to use the D word, so I won't, but I am and I can't really do a lot anymore but I can help you, and that's something I was scared I would never be able to do again but I can, so tell me Clara, tell me what you're thinking, how you're feeling. You can tell me everything, like you always could, but now you don't need to worry about upsetting me or anything because really it doesn't make too much difference." Clara thought about this, he was right in some ways, but she didn't want to see him that way, it felt wrong.
"Dinner's in the oven." She stated.
"And how long has it been there?" Danny asked. Clara sighed; there was no point in fighting him.
"No idea, Gran made it. I'm just not hungry…" She started to explain but Danny was straight in there.
"I don't care; I'm betting you've not eaten anything except maybe an apple today. Right now, go and get that dinner." He instructed and Clara quickly stood up to go to the kitchen.
"Alright I'm going I'm going, honestly it's like you're haunting me sometimes." She couldn't quite believe she'd said that as she'd finished, but Danny just laughed a little on the end of the phone.
"I have every intention of doing so if it means you actually looking after yourself. I know you're all up for just throwing yourself in to work and time travel which is great and you should enjoy yourself however that may be but if you stop eating I'll be straight on to you alright?" Clara held the phone to her ear using her shoulder as she retrieved the dinner from the oven, uncovering it and grabbing a knife and fork before going back to the lounge.
"Okay alright I have food are you happy? I'm even actually eating it." She told him, taking a mouthful as she got herself settled back down on the sofa. "Can we stop talking about my eating habits now and maybe something a little more interesting?" Clara asked, putting the phone on loudspeaker which she realised would have been practical a lot sooner.
"Alright, tell me what my replacement's like? Is he hot?" Danny asked and Clara nearly spat out her mouthful of food.
"She's about 12, and I couldn't possibly comment on the second question." She answered once she'd recovered from the shock of what Danny had said. "Although she does seem to be a hit with my year 10 boys they wouldn't shut up about her." Clara said, although she'd almost walked out of that lesson with some of the comments they made. "Seems nice, not really spoken much though, I was possibly a little rude earlier… might apologise tomorrow."
"Oh Clara dear the woman's never even met me I'm sure she didn't mean whatever it was. Although if she doesn't get Kirsty through her times tables please feel free to badger her…" He'd been working with Kirsty for weeks, Clara had heard about all the frustration he'd gone through and the progress he had made.
"I've got Kirsty tomorrow, I'll see how she's getting on for you don't worry." Clara said, putting her plate down on the table. "Danny I need to tell you something." The mood changed, but suddenly she knew she was ready to tell him.
"I feel like this conversation just turned very quickly. Are you okay?" He asked, Clara stood up and walked over to her shelves, finding the post its she had yet to remove. She'd had ridiculous questions about them, but the advantage of being a teacher was being able to put these things down to lesson planning and everyone believed you.
"I never told you. I should have, I should have told you when I had the chance, I thought I'd never have the chance… but now I do, and you need to know, you have to know, it's your right to know for goodness sake it's not my secret to keep." She started babbling.
"You know the last time I heard you talk like this was on the phone right before we were so rudely interrupted by a passing car." Danny spoke casually.
"Oh my gosh Danny… did you just… no right let's not focus on that please, let's move on before I bottle out of this." She stopped where she'd just been pacing. "Danny I'm pregnant." She blurted out and everything went silent.
Clara felt her heart start to pound and she carefully rested a hand on her stomach where the tiniest bump was able to be felt although still easily hidden for now – she hadn't actually told anyone yet.
"Danny please say something… I didn't know whether to say because I didn't want to upset you like you'll never meet them and I hate that they'll never know you because you'd be the best Dad and I… I don't know… please say something…" She was panicking now, had she made the wrong decision? No. Danny needed to know. She'd been given a second chance. Or maybe a third chance depending on how you viewed the situation.
"Clara why would this make me sad? I understand, and I'm so sorry I won't be there but Clara this is wonderful…" he sounded genuinely happy, but Clara was still hesitant. "You didn't sound overly ecstatic. When did you find out?"
"The day you… the day you first left." She genuinely couldn't say it. "That's why I phoned you. I was too scared to do it face to face I needed to know how you felt before I saw you."
"Well, you got your wish my dear." He chuckled gently. "Don't be sad over this, never be sad about our child Clara. You're going to be a wonderful mother and I know you'll bring them up beautifully. Who else knows?" He asked.
"Nobody. It didn't feel right, I hadn't told you, I didn't know how to tell anyone else. I guess now it feels… a little better…" Clara pulled one of the post its off – 3 months – and that was old now. "I'm gonna start really showing soon, I won't have much choice then."
"As soon as we're done here you should tell someone Clara, phone whoever you want but tell someone. Have you been for a scan?" This felt like the weirdest conversation and yet it felt so normal too.
"Yes, I'm due on June 18th. I don't know the sex yet, I don't know whether to find out when I can… what do you think?" She asked.
"I'd like to know… but it's your decision Clara. So June 18th, that works back to…" he started, but Clara interrupted.
"Yes Danny, remind me never to let anyone at school know that." She grinned a little, but the memory was bittersweet. "Danny I don't know if I can do this alone."
"You won't be alone. You have so many people around you, and I know I can't be there but I'm here. I'm talking to you now, I'll always be able to talk to you… well as far as I know anyway. You can do this, I love you Clara Oswald and you're going to be wonderful." Clara missed those words. "Now I want you to go find someone to talk to, to tell about this. Go and tell your Dad, he'll be over the moon. Get a hug off him, you deserve one."
"I love you Danny." She said simply. "I'm the luckiest woman in the world." And then he was gone.
A/N: I think there will be a second part to this… we'll see. I hope you enjoyed .