A/N: I tried all day yesterday to post this chapter but that part of the site had some glitch or other. Finally I have it. I think the next time this happens I'll post the chapter on my own site for everyone interested to read.
I hope you all will take a look to see what I have to offer and leave me some comment. I now have a literature section where I am posting classics and some not so classic books in their entirety. If anyone has a request I'll try to find the book to post for you.
I also have a few stories I am posting there before I post them here . I may not get as many reviews that way but it may bring people to my site. I have never done anything so bold in my life as creating something like this for everyone to judge other than my stories. I am usually a shy person and don't take risks of any kind. This is a huge step for me. I would appreciate any support you can give me as well as take suggestions. If you have anything you'd like to see let me know. If you have a story you aren't sure about and hesitate to place it one here I'll give you a chance to put it up and that way only a select few will read it then later you can put on here when you feel more comfortable letting more people see your work.
And now on with the show.
Chapter Nineteen
Days of Darkness
The next few weeks were the busiest of Meg's life. She filled every waking minute with rehearsals at the theatre, practice at home, visits with family and friends. When she felt she had established herself with the company and proved that her talent had earned her place and nothing else, Meg began to encourage the acquaintance of a few men.
Antoinette and Christine were completely baffled by this new effervescent Meg. Neither could put their finger on what exactly had changed about her but something had. The sparkle had gone from her once bright blue eyes. Now there was some desperate glitter about her.
To make matters worse Erik had disappeared somewhere without leaving anyone so much as a note. They did not know of Meg's missive from Erik and Meg would rather die than tell them about how Erik had treated her.
Meg threw herself into a merry-go-round of amusement. If she drank too much or spent late hours desperately seeking to erase Erik from her mind Meg cared nothing for the toll this took on her health.
Antoinette and Christine noted her almost frenetic gaiety. Meg laughed with desperation at the smallest amusing tale. She spoke more than ever before, almost fearing any silence they might share. Looking at her no one would know a deeply unhappy woman resided under all this frivolity. At least no one who did not know Meg well would not guess that something terribly wrong had occurred in Meg's life.
Neither Antoinette nor Christine could account for Meg's sudden change in character. The late nights and countless men going in and out of her apartment worried them. Meg often drank herself into oblivion according to her maid who had come to Antoinette in concern for her Mistress's health.
No amount of prodding from Meg's loved ones could pry any useful information from her. Antoinette began to wonder if Erik's continued absence had anything to do with Meg's sudden bout of socializing. Her behavior changed about the time Erik had left on some trip that would keep him away for a long while.
Antoinette had received only one letter from Erik in the last month and only one the month before. He did not even ask about Meg at all. He mentioned that he would be attending Christine's guest appearance at the opera house. Other than that he kept to generalities. Erik had asked about everyone except her daughter Meg.
Meg's continued ill-treatment of her body left her looking wane and washed out. She had taken to using makeup to cover up the telltale signs of neglect. She could not stand her own company of late. If left alone her mind tended to think upon forbidden subjects.
One particular evening Meg had just learned Erik would be attending Christine's performance. Not one word to her. Nothing in over two months now he would return for Christine. That slap in the face Meg could not take. She accepted an invitation to spend the evening in the company of a gentleman she had refused before as he seemed to be less than savory. Not malicious but his talent for breaking hearts had hm labled as a womanizer and cad.
On the evening she would be going to the opera Meg took special pains with her appearance. If her hands shook while she made herself ready, Meg put it down to excitement of the evening ahead.
Meg had been drinking as she dressed. Being occupied with that perhaps she imbibed a little more than she should have. She had felt she needed to bolster her courage. Tonight she had decided to take Steven to her bed. Once and for all she would remove Erik and his memory from her mind.
On the ride to the theatre Meg allowed Steven to take liberties she would have rejected just a month ago. Steven Gordon looked like every young girls image of Prince Charming. He treated the woman of the moment generously. This evening he had presented Meg with diamond earrings. He had whispered the matching necklace and bracelet were at home in his safe. Those would be presented to her at a later date. Meg had shuddered knowing what Steven would require from her to earn those two pieces of tainted devil's pawns. Meg shrugged off the dirty feeling that had filled her as Steven had kissed and caressed her in a familiar manner. She did not reject him as she had countless other times. Tonight would they not be even more intimate with one another?
Meg had led Steven on these past two months. Not letting him get too close but not pushing him away either. His attempts to kiss her she had been adroit in rejecting without seeming to reject him at all. She had not gone out with him alone but had been in his company with others from the theatre and theatre patrons.
As they entered the theatre Meg tried not to look where she knew Erik's box would be. Without her permission her eyes sought him out. The darkness in the box only gave her a glimpse of a dark shadow.
Steven drew her attention as he told her they were to be escorted to his box. Once they were seated Meg begged his pardon as she wanted to see Christine before she went on stage to perform her piece.
Meg wondered if Christine had chosen the aria Think of Me with Erik in mind. It had been her first real singing part that Erik had used his influence and threats to gain for Christine. Meg knew Christine still felt something more than mere admiration for Erik. She had admitted as much often enough. It would seem Erik returned her regard as he had made it a priority to attend this one evening's performance which featured a song from Christine.
Meg knocked on Christine's room once she had made her way through all the hectic activity backstage. She well remembered opening nights and all the nervous anxiety to perform well. All the last minute things that went wrong only added to the distress. Meg's own opening night would be in a few weeks.
When Meg heard Christine's invitation to enter, she cautiously opened the door not knowing if she might interrupt a private moment between Raoul and Christine. Coming fully into the small dressing room Meg could help but compare it to the sumptuous dressing room Christine had when Erik had given her Carlotta's dressing room.
Christine caught Meg's eyes in the mirror. She smiled widely. Meg could read the underlying nervousness in her sister's eyes. Meg wondered if Christine were more excited that Erik would be in the audience than the fact she would once again be center stage. She felt horrible for the evilness taking hold of her mind. Perhaps the alcohol she had consumed in abundance before coming out had something to do with her wicked meanderings. She had not eaten anything all day so the consumption of alcohol had not been the best thing perhaps.
Raoul did not seem to be present. Their mother had gone to sit with Erik at his request. No such invitation had come for Meg. Another slight Meg had to shrug off as if of little consequence. She denied feeling any pain at all. To admit how much Erik's callousness hurt would be opening the floodgates to the tears she had been holding back for weeks.
Meg approached Christine to place her hands on the younger woman's shoulders. Meeting her eyes Meg said, "You look exquisite tonight Christine. Where is that handsome husband of yours?"
Christine wanted to say something to Meg about her drinking. Even now Christine could smell the vapors of alcohol wafting her way from Meg. Meg had been mistreating her body for far too long. Something would soon give out if she continued in this fashion. Tonight and especially not this moment, seemed appropriate to address this issue. One day very soon Christine would be confronting Meg. Their mother had already made dire threats to do just that. Tonight Christine had hoped Meg would forgo any spirits as she might run into Erik. Christine felt if anyone could get through to Meg it would be Erik. She could not help but notice how close the two had been in those last days before Meg's kidnapping. Erik's sudden disappearance had left them baffled.
That last night things had seemed to have been all but settled between Erik and Meg. With no explanations to anyone Erik had simply left town the following morning. Anyone with two seeing eyes could tell how completely bewildered and hurt Meg had been. Christine wanted to pound some sense into Erik's fuddled mind. All those years he spent alone moaning to have someone to share his life with, then when a perfectly willing woman comes along he absconds like a thief with the family silver.
"Raoul came earlier before the crowd descended. Oh Meg, look what Erik sent. Roses, tied with black ribbon just as he used to give to me when I pleased him. I am so nervous to have him in the audience. I know I have performed for him before but that…well that was not the same as tonight. Tonight will be the first time I take the stage without Erik being responsible. I must make him proud." In her own excitement to be performing Christine missed the woeful look now covering Meg's once smiling face.
It took every ounce of Meg's reserve to force her voice to sound happy and supportive for Christine when all she really wished to do was curl into a ball until the end of time.
"Don't worry so Christine. You could never disappoint Erik. I have been present during your practice sessions as you recall. Only praise for your excellence did I hear leave your instructor's mouth in the two weeks you have been practicing. No one with hearing could think anything other than you sing divinely. You know that as well Christine. Do you think Erik would allow you to make a fool of yourself?" As painful as the admission was, Meg knew it to be the truth. Erik would watch over Christine no matter that Raoul had claimed her heart.
Perhaps Erik's adoration of Christine had rekindled love in his heart for his onetime pupil. It nearly crippled Meg to think of Erik lusting after Christine once more. Raoul would surely kill him or Erik would kill Raoul. Either way, Christine would be devastated and Meg would perish from the agony in her heart and soul.
Tonight Meg would attempt to put Erik and all the misery he caused her in the past. Perhaps she could come to care for Steven. Meg knew very well Steven had no love for her. All his interest had always been of an intimate nature.
Meg kissed Christine on the cheek and wished her well. Now Meg had to return to her box and give her own grand performance. No one would know of her performance other than herself. To everyone else she would seem to be one of the happiest of women. No one would know the crushing weight upon her heart nearly killing her with the burden of unrequited love.
If Erik had ever felt even a small portion of what Meg suffered now, she could forgive some of the insanity that had ruled him when trying to win the object of his affection. Christine had given Erik some very cruel blows while under his tutelage.
Meg entered the box returning Steven's smile. When the lights flickered they both took their seats. Once seated Meg could not help but search for Erik's box. She saw his tall shadow standing at the rail of the box. He could not even bear to seat himself in anticipation of Christine's arrival on stage.
Reaching for a glass and the bottle of wine or Champaign, whichever it was Meg did not care to know. If it gave her some relief from the thoughts chasing around in her head was her only concern. Meg poured a generous amount. Quickly she downed that glass to pour another consuming it just as swiftly as she had the first. Before Christine ever took to the stage Meg had downed half a bottle. The fullness of her stomach had been the only thing stopping her from emptying the bottle.
All Meg heard throughout the performance was some sort of buzzing and humming. Now as everyone applauded Meg heard muffled sounds. Everything seemed to be moving even though she knew herself to be seated and on a solid, unmoving seat.
Never had a performance seemed to end in mere minutes. Meg could not remember hearing Christine's performance. In fact she could not say whether there had even been a performance at all. Her head had taken to spinning around in an alarming manner.
When Meg stood to leave she swayed falling against Steven's shoulder. He immediately wrapped his arm around her to steady her. Meg felt extremely grateful for his support. Without his helping hand Meg felt certain she might fall. Why could her legs not seem to hold her?
Steven half carried half guided Meg to where she had told her mother she would meet her after the performance. Blindly Meg let Steven lead the way. She could barely put one foot in front of the other. She almost felt as if she had left her body.
Meg nearly pulled away from Steven when she saw Erik's handsome form standing next to her mother. Meg blearily took in all of him. God, how she loved that man. Even after hurting Meg as he had she would lay prostrate at his feet if he would but ask it of her. Blessedly perhaps he did not. He did not even so much as greet her.
Meg must have garbled something acceptable to her mother as she bid Meg a good evening with the admonishment not to stay out too late. She had practice tomorrow bright and early. Antoinette had given up trying to curb Meg's behavior. She was after all an adult. If Meg needed her mother she would be there waiting with open arms. Antoinette tried to convince herself this was true even as her motherly instincts had her wanting to reprimand Meg for such careless actions. Antoinette had to bite her tongue to hold in what wanted to come out of her mouth.
Erik wanted to tear that pompous man holding Meg into tiny shreds. Why did not Antoinette simply forbid Meg going anywhere with that man in her condition? Anyone with eyes could see Meg could not even stand on her own two feet. She had imbibed beyond her ability to function normally.
When nothing had been forthcoming Erik would have taken matters into his own hands but Raoul and Christine arrived. Erik could not help but admire how beautiful Christine looked. Tonight she had made him a very proud man. She had given the performance of a lifetime. The standing ovation at the end of her performance Erik felt in some small way belonged to him as well as Christine. That had been what he had worked with her all those years to achieve.
His love for her had been secondary which shamed Erik to admit even to himself. That is why he had needed to be certain what he and Meg felt had been the be all and end all to one another. These last two months had been pure hell for him.
Day and night he could think of nothing but Meg. He heard her sweet voice in the breeze off the ocean as he stood on the cliffs at the seaside establishment where he had sought refuge. The cottage had been sparse but it had been isolated. Being alone once more had allowed Erik to clear everything out of his mind. Only the important things like loving Meg with every inch of his heart and mind had been kept out for close examination. His conclusion in the end had been what he had suspected all along. He loved Meg. If she would have him he would worship the ground she trod upon.
Never in all his imaginings of their first meeting after their months of separation had he thought it would be with Meg being held so intimately by a strange man. Strange to Erik at least, everyone else seemed to have an acquaintance with him.
Erik cursed his request that Meg socialize with other men. What harebrained insanity had made him do that? Why could he have not simply suggested they meet as friends among others so they could become better acquainted? Erik knew very well it had been his old insecurities raising their ugly heads.
As Meg walked unsteadily toward the exit Erik wanted to shout at everyone to stop her from leaving with that lecherous rogue. Could they not see what the man had in mind? He had plied poor unsuspecting Meg with unaccustomed spirits thereby rendering her helpless to repulse any unwanted advances he may make toward her.
When no one seemed willing to say a word Erik took it upon himself to follow the couple. If no one else cared for Meg then he would be her rescuer once again.
The carriage just left the front of the theatre when Erik reached the sidewalk. Not wanting to waste time waiting for a cabbie or his carriage Erik began to sprint down the sidewalk. He dodged other late night pedestrians. With the weekend traffic it made it easy for Erik to travel only slightly slower than the carriage. He was able to keep a respectable distance between them yet keep the carriage within his sight.
One scream from Meg and Erik would tear that man apart leaving his carcass for the rats and night creatures to devour. Erik smiled evilly picturing that man's elegant torso picked clean by varmints. It would seem Erik still had a somewhat vicious nature when provoked. Not that he would harm the man unless he did anything untoward when dealing with Meg.
Erik would not let himself believe Meg would willingly do anything of an intimate nature with that man. How could she if she loved him? In the months he had been away she had many men callers but no one who remained as her suitor. Brimley had kept him apprised of her social engagements as best he could. Erik dare not inquire of Antoinette about Meg's coming and going.
Brimley had informed him several times that he was a world class jackass. Erik had nearly come back a few days after leaving when he had received word of Meg's devastation upon reading his note to her. Only Erik's need for both he and Meg to be perfectly clear about their feelings had stayed Erik's feet from bringing him home.
Just as the carriage slowed the sky opened up with large drops of rain beginning to fall. Everyone in the street began to head for the nearest cover. Those who had the foresight to carry an umbrella opened them with a flourish. True Englishmen knew the unpredictability of their weather and carried an umbrella at the ready at all times.
Erik did not even have his coat. He had not spared the time to retrieve it when he saw Meg leaving with that man. Now as the cold rain soaked his suit to his very skin, Erik wished for something he could use to deflect just a small portion of the rain.
Squinting into the thick falling rain Erik could barely make out two people stepping down to the sidewalk. Erik had been going to follow them into the hotel but just as he would have crossed the street a band of late night revilers choose that moment to enter the hotel at the same time as Meg and her gentleman escort.
Erik would find a fire escape around back. The gentleman looked to be a man of means which meant the top most floor of the building. Usually there were only one or two suites on that floor.
Splashing across the street Erik shivered as cold rain drizzled down under his collar to run in a trickle down his back. Like as not he would end up chilled to the bone and come down with some illness or other. Wet and cold did not mix well when added to the often delicate human constitution. Erik had for the most part always been healthy but the damp cold underneath the opera house had made him prone to colds and short lived fevers.
He would do as he had always done, take his herbs and drink tea laced with honey. If that did not drive the cold out he resorted to whiskey or brandy. The brandy and the whiskey did not cure his colds or fevers but those beverages did seem to make him care less that he felt ill.
Erik climbed up the fire escape. He edged out onto the small ledge that ran around the outer part of the building. He looked in every window that did not have the draperies drawn.
Just when he thought he would not find them Erik spied them through what looked to be the sitting room. Meg swayed as the man placed her gently on her feet. He let her go but had to quickly take her back into his arms as it appeared she fainted.
Erik would have broken the window when the man carried Meg into what must be the master bedroom. He dare not think what would happen once those doors closed behind the couple. Erik drew his fist back to break the glass not caring that he could injure his precious musical hands. Meg at the moment was what mattered most.
A shout from below had Erik cursing. A bobby had just picked that moment to come into the alley to make his nightly rounds of the neighborhood. He walked this way every evening to assure the hotel customers were not troubled by thieves or voyeurs. A shrill whistle sounded alerting all other patrolling policemen of some problem. Erik hated to leave Meg but could not risk being caught. If the damn rain had stopped he would have not been so apt to be caught. With the cold slowing him down they just might be able to outrun him.
With one last lingering look into the room Erik began to climb upward. Once on the roof he ran across to the other side to go to the edge so he could judge how far the next roof was. It seemed to be within jumping distance. Going back the other way Erik gathered himself to make the run. Running as fast as he could, Erik stepped up onto the little lip on the roof as he ran. He shoved himself as hard as he could with his powerful legs.
Erik flew through the air like a bird. His landing in no way resembled the graceful landing of a bird. He grunted as he felt his ankle turn beneath him. He rolled several times until a protruding chimney brought him to an abrupt halt. Groaning and limping he made his way throught the building to the street. The building had several businesses located on different levels. Erik could be thankful the offices were closed and no one remained in the building.
The ground floor housed a prestigious restaurant from which the most delicious aromas were emitted throughout the building. If Erik had not just spent an hour in the rain then wallowed in filth he would have stepped in and ordered a bowl of some hot soup. As it was he had to avoid everyone. Looking as he did, they would find just cause to call in the authorities. He would have a hard time explaining his appearance and the fact that he had been skulking around the upper part of the building after hours.
Feeling a sneeze coming on Erik made his exit post haste. Stepping into the pouring rain once more Erik pulled his collar up around his neck. The gesture served little or no purpose as he had already been soaked to the skin. Shivering as he walked Erik cursed his dreadful luck. Fate seemed to always want to put brick walls in front of him blocking his way to anything Erik had ever wanted in life.
By the time Erik entered his front door he felt very sorry for himself. He allowed Brimley to scold him while proclaiming Erik the most idiotic genius he knew. Brimley mumbled dire warnings of impending illnesses as he removed Erik's wet outer jacket and waistcoat. He would draw Master Erik a bath and send up some hot soup, after which he was to get into bed immediately. At some other time Erik would take Brimley to task for being so outspoken. For the moment he needed that hot bath and soup. His bed beckoned him like a siren's call.
Misery and worry over what might be happening to Meg at that moment almost had Erik returning to the rain to seek her out. A sudden dizziness along with sever shivers overtakin him staid his gallant attempt to return to Meg's rescue. His mind may be willing but the body was not.
Dragging his feet Erik climbed up to his room. That would be the last time Erik left his room for quite some time.