Reconnecting: Part 2
By Morganperidot
1.
"Avery? Earth to Avery?"
Avery snapped out of his distraction and looked at Gunnar Scott, who was looking back at him somewhat impatiently. The studio was quiet – hadn't they been listening to something? Then he remembered the song he was producing for Gunnar and how bad the playback had sounded. "I'm sorry, man," Avery said. "Cadence was cranky last night, and then Juliette called at 2 am from the last stop on the tour. I didn't get much sleep."
"It's cool," Gunnar said. "You need to take care of your family…"
"I screwed this up," Avery said. "I'll fix it."
"It's nothing," Gunnar said. "Don't worry about it." He stood up.
"It isn't nothing," Avery said. "The track is muddy going into the bridge and that drags under the vocals on the bridge. I'll fix it." He met Gunnar's gaze. "Unless you don't want me to."
"I'm just thinking if Juliette is coming in tonight you have more important things to do," Gunnar said. "We're cool. I get this. You have the right priorities…"
"Great, then take your crap song and get out of here," Avery said.
"Avery, I'm not…"
"I am," Avery said. "I listened to it. The second verse is derivative, and the chorus sounds like a teenager wrote it on a sugar high. Your guitar playing is too slow, and your pronunciation blows. Yes, the mix is not top notch, and I can fix that. But I can't fix the rest of it in the booth."
Gunnar stood there for a moment, and then sat back down. "The second verse…"
"Get me a guitar," Avery said.
It was getting late by the time they had finished the song and re-recorded it, Avery playing guitar and doing backing vocals as well as engineering the production. When they finally cracked a couple beers and listened to it, Avery relaxed. "That is really incredible," Gunnar said. "You'll get cowriter credit, of course."
"Thanks," Avery said. "But you don't have to do that. You had it most of the way there."
"You brought it home," Gunnar said. "That's what matters."
Home, Avery thought. He was supposed to meet Juliette at the airport. "Crap," he said. "What time is it?" He stood up and threw on his denim jacket.
Gunnar looked at his phone. "It's quarter to 7," he said. "What time does Juliette's plane get in?"
"A half hour ago," Avery said.
In his car, Avery took out his phone and saw that it was off; he remembered turning it off when he and Gunnar started writing together. He turned it on and was immediately bombarded with notifications for texts and calls from Juliette. "Crap," he said again. He pushed the return call button.
"Well, well, nice of you to get in contact," Juliette said.
"I'm sorry," Avery said. "Gunnar has this song for a charity album…"
"I'm certainly glad you had time for that," Juliette said.
"Where are you?" Avery asked.
"Well, I waited around the airport for a while, and then I got a limo," Juliette said. "So, now I'm on my way home."
"Juliette, I…"
"I'll see you back at the house," she said, and she hung up on him.
"Wonderful," Avery said, and he tossed his phone on the passenger seat. He brought the car to life with a roar and headed out of the parking lot.
2.
Avery got home first. He thanked the nanny, and after she left he stood looking at Cadence sleeping in her crib. The peacefulness of that moment slipped away a few minutes later when the front door opened and there was a crash of noise as bags hit the floor in the front hall. "Mommy's home," Avery said.
He found Juliette in the bedroom unpacking. "Hey," he said. "I lost track of time in the studio with Gunnar."
"I understood you on the phone," Juliette said.
"OK, fine," Avery said. "I'll be in the nursery if you do want to talk." He went back there, sat down, and closed his eyes, trying to keep his irritation from building.
A short while later he heard soft footsteps as Juliette walked into the room. "Hey, baby girl," she said.
Avery opened his eyes and saw Juliette standing at the crib. Her hair was pulled back and she wore a blue nightgown that ended just above her knees. She just stood looking at the baby, not touching her or trying to pick her up. Avery stood up. "She'll be awake in a few hours," he said. "She doesn't sleep long."
"OK," Juliette said. Then she turned and looked at him. "Come on," she said.
Avery followed her back to the bedroom. Their argument, whatever it was, hadn't been resolved, but Avery was dead tired, and he didn't care. He tossed his clothes on the floor and climbed into bed. Juliette got under the covers on the other side. After a long moment of silence she said, "I got worried when you didn't show up at the airport."
"I'm sorry," Avery said. "I was writing with Gunnar, and I turned the phone off."
"It's OK," Juliette said. "I just started to think that maybe you decided not to come."
Avery sighed, and then he reached out in the darkness to touch her. His fingertips found her arm, and he slid them along the soft skin to her hand. He laced his fingers with hers. "I wouldn't do that," he said.
"There are things we need to talk about," Juliette said.
"Not right now," Avery said. "Right now I just want to hold you."
Juliette touched his cheek with her hand, and then they kissed. "I love you," she said.
"I love you, too," Avery said. She moved up against him, and he wrapped his arms around her.
3.
Cadence's cries woke Avery to sudden alertness. Next to him, Juliette mumbled, "What?"
"I'll go," Avery said, as he slid away from Juliette and off the bed. He went to the nursery, where he took care of Cadence's needs. He didn't expect any miracles from Juliette, and he wasn't going to push her. He could handle this without throwing her into it in the middle of the night as soon as she got back from a tour. He held Cadence in his arms. He had been humming, and as she relaxed against him he began to softly sing a new lullaby he had written for her.
He was about to put a sleepy Cadence back to bed when he saw Juliette standing in the doorway, tears shining in her eyes. "What?" Avery said. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Juliette said. She put a hand over his on the baby and kissed his cheek. Cadence reached out for her with her tiny hand, and Juliette touched it gently with her fingers.
"You want to hold her?" Avery asked.
"I…" Juliette said, but she just stopped and looked at Cadence. "I'm not sure."
"I'm right here," Avery said. "Everything's going to be OK." He looked down at Cadence and just let the silence descend gently.
Juliette took a step closer. She touched his hair, and Avery released the breath he was holding. "OK, let me try," she said. She put her arms under his, and he slowly released Cadence to her. "She's heavy," Juliette said, after he took a step back.
"Yeah," Avery said. "She has a healthy appetite."
"Hey, Cadence," Juliette cooed. "How's momma's little girl?" Cadence gurgled in reply and reached for the end of Juliette's ponytail that was draped over her left shoulder. "You want that, huh?" She looked at Avery. "Could you take out the tie?" she asked him.
"Are you sure that…"
"Yes," Juliette said. Avery walked over and slid the tie out of her hair. Her blond hair fell forward toward Cadence, and the baby grabbed some of it and tugged. "You're a little rascal aren't you?" Juliette said. "Just like your momma and daddy."
"She's going to be trouble," Avery said quietly.
"Of course she is," Juliette said. She met his gaze. "She's ours." A little while later she put the baby down in the crib to sleep, and Avery went with her to the bedroom, where he sat down on the end of the bed.
"How are you?" he asked.
"I'm OK," Juliette said. "I'm still a little shaky, but you being there helped."
"Good," Avery said. She looked tired and worried and beautiful all at once.
"You have to teach me that song you were singing to her," Juliette said.
"That's just something I threw together," Avery said.
Juliette sat down beside him. "Don't do that," she said.
Avery raised an eyebrow. "Do what?" he asked.
"That humble thing," Juliette said. "We both know how good you are."
Avery laughed. "OK, I don't want to argue about that," he said.
Juliette smiled. "Good choice," she said. She put her hand on his leg. "How tired are you?"
Avery was still dead tired and could have easily curled up and slept for a week, but he wasn't going to take a pass on that invitation. "Try me," he said, and Juliette smiled.
4.
"Damn it, Jeff…" Juliette's voice spitting out that name slid into the soft tissue of Avery's sleepy brain like an ice pick. He got off the bed and dressed in a pair of jeans and a button-down blue shirt, not bothering to button the shirt before he left the bedroom. When he saw Juliette on the phone, he was relieved that at least Jeff Fordham wasn't in their house.
Avery tuned out Juliette's conversation as best he could and went to look in on Cadence. She was so adorable that he just thanked God that Juliette's "mistake" with Jeff hadn't destroyed his opportunity to know his daughter. He scooped her up in his arms and started to sing to her, mostly trying to soothe himself.
"Avery!" Juliette called out.
"In the nursery," Avery said. He set Cadence back in her crib as Juliette walked over to him.
"She's OK?" Juliette asked.
"Yeah," Avery said. He looked at Juliette. "I'm not discussing Jeff Fordham. I don't care what he did."
"You don't care?" Juliette said. Avery knew where this discussion was headed, and he didn't want it happening around Cadence. He took Juliette's arm and steered her out of the nursery to the living room area.
"You invited the biggest piece of human trash on this planet back into our lives, not me," Avery said, speaking as softly as he could. "I am not getting involved in whatever damage he…"
"You would rather he just get away with..."
"After all the things he's done to us, I would rather he were dead in the ground," Avery said darkly, surprised by the depth of his own anger. He walked away to the kitchen. After a moment, Juliette followed him. Avery put his hands on the kitchen counter and stood there with his back to her. "I'm telling you, Juliette, just leave me out of this…"
"You're my husband," Juliette said. "Do you really want me to leave you out of things?"
Avery didn't respond. His fury was on fire just thinking about Jeff Fordham – the man who had sex with Juliette when she was drunk and pregnant with Avery's child; the man who had set her up with a new label and tour when she should have been bonding with their newborn daughter. All Avery could see was red. "You really don't get it do you?" he said. He turned around. "To you everything in this business is on a level playing field. He tore us apart, nearly destroyed us, and you could still go to him because he was the only one who would make things turn out the way you wanted."
Juliette was about to respond when the nanny walked in. The woman stopped her progress toward the nursery when she saw Juliette. Avery felt like just walking out of the room, but the nanny didn't deserve that. "Karen, this is Cadence's mother, Juliette Barnes," he said, stating the name distinctly, so there was no mistaking whether Juliette was to be addressed as "Mrs. Barkley".
"Nice to meet you," the slim, dark-haired woman said, extending her hand.
Juliette grasped Karen's hand briefly. "Thank you looking after Cadence," she said.
"It's my pleasure," Karen said. Clearly noting the tension in the room, she said, "I'm sorry to interrupt. I'll go check on Cadence." She turned and headed out of the room.
Avery buttoned his shirt and got his jacket from where it was lying on a chair. "So, you're just going to leave?" Juliette said.
"I have to go to the studio," Avery said. "I'm producing Will's song for the charity album today." He picked up his bag.
"And what about…"
"If you want to play games with Jeff Fordham, that's your business," Avery said. He walked to the front door and out of the house, closing the door quietly behind him.
5.
Avery left his phone on in the studio, but it didn't ring. He put Juliette and her issue with Jeff as far out of his mind as he could and tried to focus on what he was doing. Will's song was OK; the emotion was there, but the imagery of it was fairly pedestrian. His tone was good, and Avery was able to improve the arrangement he brought. It wasn't magic by the time they were done, but it sounded good enough. And that was about as close to perfect as Avery was going to come with the poison of Jeff Fordham's name circulating in his blood.
Afterward Avery went to the Bluebird, where he had a beer and played guitar on a couple songs for some guys he knew who were performing. When he looked again, there were still no calls. Avery knew that Juliette could handle Jeff. He also knew that he had screwed up like he always did when Juliette's actions made him crazy. He shouldn't have walked away; that was a cop-out. But she didn't seem to care that involving Jeff in their lives made Avery especially crazy.
Outside the Bluebird, Avery took in a deep breath and released it into the night air. He knew how Juliette was and that Juliette's number one priority was almost always herself. Because he knew where she came from and how hard she had fought to get where she was he understood that, but sometimes it still hurt when she put herself ahead of them. Sometimes he wanted her to love him the same way he loved her.
When Avery got home he went straight to the nursery – and found Juliette there with Cadence on her lap. The sight surprised him and gave him a ping of pure joy. Juliette met his gaze but didn't say anything. Avery walked over to her and bent down to kiss Cadence on the forehead. He paused for a moment and then walked out of the room.
He went to the kitchen and got a couple of slices of leftover pizza and a can of soda out of the refrigerator. He wasn't really that hungry, but he hadn't eaten anything all day other than half of one of the sandwiches that catering had brought in to the studio, which hadn't been at all satisfying.
He heard Juliette's approach, but he didn't look at her. "Where have you been?" she asked. Avery didn't answer. He popped open the soda can. "Avery…"
"What happened with Jeff?" Avery asked, wanting to get through that first.
"I slept with him, and then he agreed to what I wanted," Juliette said.
Avery turned and looked at her standing there in a lavender robe and nightgown, her hair hanging loose. His love surged inside of him; he had no doubt that what she had said wasn't true. "What do you want me to do with that?" he asked.
"I want you to tell me if that is what you think of me," Juliette said.
"No," Avery said.
"Tell me the truth," Juliette said. "You think I'm the type of trailer trash that would do that."
"I think you are selfish and self-centered and arrogant and that you do some incredibly stupid things for short-term rewards without thinking about the long-term repercussions," Avery said.
Juliette parted her lips for the comeback, and he braced himself for the blow – but it didn't come. She just turned and walked to the bedroom. Avery was surprised by the reprieve, and he was grateful. He left the cold pizza and soda and followed her. She was sitting on the bed, and he stood in the doorway. "I went to the Bluebird," he said.
"Was Scarlett there?" Juliette asked.
"I wasn't looking for Scarlett," Avery said, and he was a bit surprised she was still concerned about his ex-girlfriend.
"What were you looking for?" Juliette asked.
"Atmosphere and music," Avery said, "and a beer."
"Was it that bad with Will?" Juliette asked.
"He sounds great, but the song isn't…" He looked at Juliette. "And you don't want to hear about that do you?" he asked.
"No," Juliette said. "But I'm sure he sounds the best he can with you producing him."
"I tried," Avery said. He let out a breath. "So, tell me about Jeff."
"We don't have to do that," Juliette said.
"Did you fix it?" Avery asked.
"I tried, but he has this contract that I signed, and it's just a mess," Juliette said. She rubbed her face with her hands. "You know, it's one of those incredibly stupid things I did for short-term rewards."
Avery walked over to the bed and sat beside her. "I shouldn't have said that," he said.
"No, you were right," Juliette said. "I opened that door. I brought Jeff back in. I knew it was the wrong thing, but I had to do it. I had to get a new label and get on the road. I convinced myself that was all that mattered. No, I had to make it all that mattered, or I wouldn't be able to do it. I had to shut everything else out."
"You had to shut me out," Avery said, "and Cadence."
"I'm sorry," Juliette said. The tears that he had been holding back slid out of Avery's eyes. "Please don't," Juliette said. "Avery, please." She put her hand around his, and he held onto it.
"We worked so hard when you were pregnant to make this right," Avery said. "And then…" Juliette squeezed his hand, and he looked at her. The look in her eyes was of someone who was afraid that if he let go she would slip away and fall into the darkness.
"Please don't leave me again," she said. "Please, don't."
Avery forced himself to breathe. He knew he was just as close to falling into that dark abyss. "I won't," he said.
"I couldn't..."
"I won't," Avery said. "I won't leave. Don't you know that I have never wanted to?"
"I know you love me," Juliette said. "But sometimes that isn't enough."
"And sometimes it is," Avery said. When Juliette continued to tightly grip his hand, he looked at her. "It is enough, Juliette," he said.
She released her grip on his hand and pulled him into an embrace. "Remember when I told you that you are way too sensitive?" she said.
"Well, I am just another guy on the payroll," Avery said, referring to their exchange at the time.
"You've never been 'just' anything," Juliette said.
"Thank you," Avery said.
"You're welcome," Juliette replied.
Avery let out a deep sigh. "OK, so that's done," he said.
Juliette laughed. "Yeah?" she said.
"Yeah," Avery said. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Thank you for holding on to me."
"Thank you," Juliette said.
"So, something about a contract with Jeff," Avery said.
"We really don't have to do that right now," Juliette said.
"He's not taking anything from us," Avery said. "Not ever again."
"We'll talk about it in the morning," Juliette said. "Right now it's just us, OK?"
"OK," Avery said.
Juliette moved onto his lap and then put her hands on his face and kissed him. "I'm pretty sure you know this," she said as she undid the buttons on his shirt. When his shirt was open, she slid her hands down his chest and around to his back. "But I want you to hear it anyway." She brought her lips to his ear and whispered, "No part of him comes close to measuring up to yours."
Avery smiled. He had no doubt about that either.