Chapter 57

I stopped ten miles from my house. I dropped myself to the ground and wrapped my arms around myself, leaning against a mighty oak for support. Leaning my head back I fought the pain and tears that tore at me from the depths of my soul. If only my father was still here.

Squirrels chattered at me noisily above and a red-tailed hawk screeched farther above. I squinted my eyes and watched as the bird circled high above the canopy. The squirrel's chattering stopped and they froze their positions, hoping to remain unseen by the predator above. They were stupidly close to the tops of the trees and I watched as the mighty bird swooped down and plucked one off a limb with its talons. I felt like the squirrel. The higher I got the closer I came to destruction. Maybe I wasn't meant to be happy. Maybe my life was meant to be one giant crap fest.

I bit my tongue as tears stung the corners of my eyes. When my life was starting to look up it came soaring back down. How could my mom put Seth and me through this? She knew I didn't like Charlie and it was only less than a year after my father's sudden passing. Did my mom not care for our feelings at all?

I picked at the bark on the tree behind me, gnawing on my bottom lip – a habit I picked up from Kaase. Kaase. Something hit my then, metaphorically speaking. What if Charlie was mom's Kaase? Kaase was the only person or thing that could have healed my wounds from Sam and being part of the shape shifters. But the idea of Charlie being a band-aid for the wound that dad's death caused sounded almost harsh. It was like she wanted to forget what had happened and move on.

But that's what I wanted to do, move on. I threw the hunk of bark in my hands violently into the darkness. I heard it land with a rustle and a thunk. My jeans were now soaked from sitting in the snow. I rubbed my eyes, wishing I could just elope with Kaase or something, get away from everything. I heard a howl off in the distance, stupid anxious little brother. Soon I would hear the soft patter of large wolf paws as they came to find their missing sister. I fought the sudden urge to obey the call to arms but contemplated running away. I ended up remaining where I was, playing with a dead leaf.

And sure enough, not 2 minutes later I heard a rustle of paws. By the sound of it there was only two, one was unmistakably Jacob for the foot falls were heavy and the other was probably Seth because of the staggering steps as a result of his lanky legs and oversized paws. I felt a shimmer in the air, Jacob and Seth appeared a second later, intruding on my hiding spot.

"Hey Leah," Seth greeted nonchalantly, sliding down next to me. Jacob sat on my other side. "You took it better than I did." He laughed.

I looked at my brother in disbelief. When we were younger it seemed almost impossible to break his ever-present sunny mood. "Really?"

"Yeah," Jake replied, amused. "If I hadn't been there Charlie might have gotten hurt."

My jaw dropped. "Seth!" I laughed loudly at the thought of him tearing a limb off that leech father.

Seth shuffled his feet, laughing slightly. "You handled it surprisingly well actually. I told mom to tell you outside. I don't know what she was thinking."

Jacob grunted. "About the whole thing. It's too soon." Jacob's eyes were soft and I wondered if Billy remarried would that be too soon also.

I sighed, resting my head on Seth's shoulder. "Where is Kaase?"

"Quil and Embry are with him up on the cliff." Seth replied. "We were going to throw a welcome home bonfire."

I stood with shaky legs, wiping snow off the seat of my jeans. "We should go."

Seth looked at me with concerned and understanding eyes. "Are you ready? We can wait a while longer."

I contemplated for a moment. "Will Charlie be there?"

"Hell no." Jake snorted pulling himself off the ground. "This party's for you."

I smiled, "Well then I should be there shouldn't I?"

Seth reached his arms out, crossing them. I grabbed them and tugged him off the ground like we always did when we were little. They stayed in human form as we ran, keeping me company. "How long have you been . . . clean? I don't know what would you call that?" Jake laughed as we sprinted through the trees.

I laughed. "I guess 'clean' would be a good word for it. My last phase was when I met Kaase so about two weeks I'd say."

"How long do you think it will take?" Seth asked.

"I have no idea. I guess I'll just have to wait and find out."

We loped into the clearing, luckily the full moon had passed so Kaase was able to be out at night without having to worry about exploding. He stood when he saw Quil and Embry nod to us. "Leah!" He sighed, running forward and collecting me in his strong arms.

"I'm sorry." I muttered into his shirt. I felt tears rise again.

"I lived Leah." He laughed, grabbing my chin and lifting it to see look me in the eyes. "The important question is, will you live Leah?"

"As long as I have you, Kaase." I smiled and he returned a bright smile.

"Then I'll never leave." That's all I wanted.

We returned to the fire and sat on the logs around the fire. I sat as close as I could to Kaase to keep him warm, I was sure the air was cold. I felt bad for Quil and Jacob, not being able to go anywhere with their imprint like I could. Their imprints still had bed times.

We roasted hot dogs on homemade sticks, eating probably four or five packages. We laughed and jeered at each other and soon I forgot all about what awaited me when I returned to the house. About an hour into our little party everyone but Kaase heard shuffling in the woods behind us. We all turned to look and in response so did Kaase. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jake stand up. It couldn't be any wild animal, no animal but rabid ones were that stupid. Soon though the sound was explained when thirteen rugged men strode into view. I jumped to my feet snarling.

"Leah? What is it?" Kaase asked worriedly but was smart and kept his distance from me.

I cut my snarls short but all I could mutter was, "Sam."