CHAPTER TWO
A new morning. A new day. Today will be ok. I promised myself. I opened my eyes and smiled to the ceiling. "Good morning roof top." I turned over on my bed. "Good morning wall." I turned over to my phone and said "Good MORNING SOCIAL LIFE." Come on. Tell me, name ONE teenager who doesnt have a social life. Seriously. Well. I have learned that Ms Raleigh and Mrs Mills have been friends for quite some time. I have learned that you have to be pretty special to sit in THE couch. And I've learned that this school is not so bad.
The date today is friday the 25th of March and today marks a very special day in my life. A day that no one but myself and God knows marks the fourth year anniversary of my daughter Quinne. I was 13 going on 14 when she was born. Unfortunately, I could only have her in my arms for a short time. But even though this has happened, I have plans for the future and school to get ready to go to.
I did my morning routine and kissed my parents goodbye. Again, I took an apple on the go. I got to form class and I walked in. Mrs Mills was waiting for me. "Hello, Miss Swan. How is your morning?" I looked at her ready to cry my eyes out. But I didn't. I put my head down and said "Morning Mrs Mills. How do you do?" Mrs Mills took a while to answer and she watched my every step to my chair. From the corner of my eye, I watched her stand up and walk her way over to me. She pulled out the chair next to me and sat down. "Miss Swan, I see you are upset. Are you ok?" I looked up at her with tears yielding up in my eyes. "Mrs Mills, If you cared, would you kindly dismiss me from form class while I take myself to see the school counselor?" Mrs Mills nodded and said "Very Well Dear. If you need help, come and see me." I stood up, gathered my belongings and headed towards the door. I was stopped by Mrs Mills voice calling my name. "Miss Swan, Im serious. I'm always here to talk." I gave a warm smile and continued to walk.
I walked for about two minutes and I had finally found the School Counselor's offices. I knocked on the door and a tall older lady in her 60's came out. "You must be Emma. I was expecting you in the next five minutes." I looked at her and said "You were?" She smilied and said "Yes, Mrs Mills emailed me and said something was up with you. She seemed to care alot about you. Your very special." I smiled and she waved her hand as in to tell me to come into her office. Her office was bright. There were alot of books. There were four single chairs facing around a small coffee table. "Please, Emma. Sit." I smiled and held back the tears. "Ok, Emma. Before we start anything, I just want to go over the rules and regulations of this department. Everything said in here stays in here between you and I. I will only contact home if someones life in danger. Although, I do record everthing we talk about on a piece of paper." I smilied at her and said "Thankyou. May I ask your name?" "My Name is Ms Wyatt. Now, Emma. Whats up. How may I be of you assisstance?" I looked down at my hands and I saw tear drops falling onto my palms. "Today, marks...the fourth anniversary of a significant time in my life, Ms Wyatt." She looked at me and said "Are you comfortable talking to me about this?" She kindly asked. I smilied and said "I think, its finally time, I have told someone." She said "Ok, Emma. Don't let me stop you." I sat myself up and gathered all the confidence and courage that I had left. I began to speak. "When I turned 13, I was walking home from school. And you must understand the area I lived in was'nt the bestest. It was 5:30pm and I finished school at 2:30pm. The last thing I remembered was, My Mum and Dad where picking me up from school. I had waited for three and a half hours for them. I thought id wait for five more minutes and no show. So, I began to walk. I lived half an hour away from home. Five minutes into my walk, It began to rain. Now, there are two ways home. There are the roads, where it would be very wet, or the tunnels, where it was faster and dry. That day, I decided to take the tunnels. I never take the tunnels. But, if I wanted to get home faster, thats the way. I must've walked for about one hundred meters and then boom. Out of nowhere, three men come out and knock me off of my feet." I stopped, hoping Ms Wyatt knew what happened after that. Ms Wyatt looked at me and said "Oh Emma. Did these men hurt you?" I bowed my head in shame and cried. "They raped me,all at the same time." She came over and hugged me tight. "Oh Emma, Im sorry this happened to you. Im sorry that there are people in this world like is." I hugged her and said nothing. "I leaned myself off of her and got myself back together to finish. "I remember them leaving me there cold and sore and I watched them just walk away. I tried to call for help but it was drowned out by the rain. I laid there for ten minutes and reached in my pocket to get my phone. I remember calling my mum and asking where she was. She didnt answer but she texted straight after that. "Emma, where are you? Your Father and I have been driving forever trying to find you. Don't think Im going to answer this phone call from you because I'm not. We told you, we are going to pick you up from school. Why couldnt you just be patient and wait for us to get there. We are so annoyed at you Emma. Dont ring because we wont answer. We will see you at home where ever you are." I remember looking at this text and thinking how she could just do that. I was waiting for three hours. Within thoes three hours, no text no nothing. I tired to call her for help. But she didnt answer me or anything. I stood up and pulled my underwear and school skirt back up and tried my hardest to walk home as fast as I could without hurting myself even more. When I arrived home, the time was 8:30pm. and my Dad pulled me inside the door. He was so furious he began to yell and swear at me . I sat down, knowing full well how sore it would be, and I took the growling. My Dad was about to hit me and my niece, who at the time, was four years old, yelled stop. He yelled at her and told her to get back in the room. My niece, Yael, came and put herself in my arms. She looked at my father and said Your not going to hurt my Aunty. Everyone makes mistakes Grandad. I held her in my arms and just cried and cried. My dad walked away and took the car keys and went for a ride. I hugged my niece and said Thank You for helping Aunty. My niece cupped my face and said Are you ok Aunty? I looked my niece in the eyes and said Aunty was hurt on the way home from school. But please dont tell Nanny or Granddad or Mummy. She smiled and said Ok Aunty. I love you. She hopped off of me and went back into her room. I went to my own room and gathered some clothes for a shower. I walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on full. I took off all of my clothes and scanned my body. I had a bruise up my back from being pushed to the edge of the tunnel and I had scratch marks on my inner thighs. I had bruises on my arms and cuts just near my vagina. I cried and washed my body clean. After that I went to bed." Ms Wyatt looked at me not sure what to say. She was speechless. I looked at her and said "I know you're not sure what to say. Its ok" She said "Did you tell them?" I said yes I did, but it was months later. It was morning, I didnt want go to school for the last three months and I had gained weight and fell Mum began to yell at me about how I wouldnt get anywhere in life if i continued to act like this. I began to yell back and my sister, Yaels mum, who is Lavinia, came out and she told me to shut my mouth.
I couldnt take it anymore and I said. Do you remember that time YOU said, you and Dad were going to pick me up from school... at 2:30pm? And I waited and waited and waited? I gave up waiting at 5:30. I started walking home and it started raining. So do you know what I did? I walked through the tunnels and then guess what happened. Three men...came out of nowhere and then...they...raped me. Lavinia looked at me and she started to cry. My Mum stood up and looked at me. I said Remember when I tried to call you Mum, and you texted me and growled me. Yeah, I was calling for help and you said you or Dad wouldnt answer the phone cause you both were annoyed. Remember when I came home at night, Dad nearly gave me a hiding for being impatient. And do you know who stopped Dad from hitting me? Yael. So, why don't you all leave me alone because you have no idea how hard it has been to go through this for the last three months. My Mum and Lavinia looked at me and they began to weep. Im sorry, Emma. I'm sorry for letting that happen to you. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I rolled my eyes and said If i hadnt of told you guys, you all would've still treated me like a worthless piece of meat. I rang my best friend, Elias, and told her everything that has happened. We talked on the phone for a good hour until she asked me,Have you got your period yet? Thats something I never had thought about.
Ten minutes after she asked me that our phone call ended. I asked my Mum if I could have twenty dollars and I went for a walk to the supermarket which was just around the corner. I went to buy a pregnancy test. I woke up the next morning and I took the test. It said I was pregnant. I got scared and ran away from home to my bestfriends house. I stayed there for the duration of my pregnancy. Weeks flew by like minutes and it was september, my birth month. I turned fourteen and I was four months. I was so scared I didnt know what to do. I had planned to stop going to school and try and find work so I could help me and my baby live. I remember when I was eight months, I'd feel my baby kick and I'd sing to her every night. I was having a girl by the way Ms Wyatt. March 25th came and it was time to give birth to my daughter. Unfortunately, my daughter was still born. That tore me to pieces. I didn't want to live after that. I wanted to die. The Dr Gallagher asked me if I had anyone to call and inform them about the sad news. I said No. Just my sister, Elias, was to know. They respected my wishes and left me in the room with Elias to mourn. The next day, they asked me what I planned to do. I said, Im taking her home. They said Unfortunately, Miss Swan, you cant. I said Yes I can, she is MY daughter. They respected me and said Very well. They gave me a box that looked like a shoe box and I looked at it and threw it in their dare you give that to me. Im going to hold my baby. My baby and I laid in bed and watched Regular Show. It was like she was just sleeping. I remember thinking, have i named her yet? I sat there thinking about a name. Finally, I came up with Quinne Swan. Quinne being another word for Queen. Queen Swan. She was my Queen. Few hours later, Dr Gallagher woke me up and said It is time Emma. Would you like to burry your daugh- I cut him off and said Her name is Quinne. Dr Gallagher smiled and she said Would you like Quinne to be burried or cremated. I said Well, if I cant have her with me, I'd like to cremate her. She then said Would you like to have her ashes? I said No. I just said, if i cant have her here with me. I want her cremated." Ms Wyatt looked at me and said "Where was your parents?" I said "I didnt want to involve them with anything." She then asked me "Have you told anyone in your family about this?" I said "No, Nobody besides Elias knows of this event." She looked at me struggling to find words to say. She finally said "Im so so sorry for your loss Emma. There are people, out there who know exactly what you are going through. I wish I had the power to make everyhting better but...unfortunately, only you can do that from this day forward.
Ten minutes pass and Ms Gallagher comes back into the office. "Now, Emma. Believe it or not, it is already third period and according to your timetable, your next class is with Mrs Mills. So, would you like to join her class or would you like to just sit here? I know Mrs Mills is a very good teacher, but its totally up to you." I sat there thinking for a few seconds and finally decided "I'll go to class. But before I leave, can you do something for me?" I asked. "Could you please email every one of my teachers and ask if they could go easy on me for the day because something is bothering me and I would share it with them if I wanted to." Ms Gallagher nodded and said "Very well. Now go to class. Have a good day Emma." I smiled and said "Thank You very much Ms Gallagher."
I found the class all Mrs Mills was teaching. She was teaching economics. I walked in and all the girls were staring at me and Mrs Mills came in from her office with a bright shinning smile and said "Hi darling, are you ok?" I tried to hold myself together. She said "Come, on. Come outside. Lets have a chat." We both walked outside the door, standing only inches apart from eachother, until a student came out and asked if she could go for a drink. Mrs Mills let her go but then the girl was hovering around trying to get in on whats happening. Mrs Mills turned to the girl and said "The fountain is around the corner. Leave." She put on her authoritative voice and I shunned the girl. Instead of going for a drink she went back into class. Mrs Mills stood infront of me with both hands on my elbows that where crossed shut. She put her hand on my chin and lifted my head so we were looking at eachother. She asked "Emma. Whats wrong? Are you ok?" I put my head back down and said "No. Im not ok." She asked "Can you tell me what is wrong?" I looked back up and said "My daughter died today, four years ago." She looked immediately pulled me into a tight hug and rubbed my back up and down and said "Im so so sorry Emma." I looked at her and said "Its fine. Im sorry i havent been myself lately. I guess, the time has been coming up and I still, dont know, how to deal with it." I put my head down and Mrs Mills released me from her embraced and placed a small warm kiss on my forehead and she looked at me as said "Come inside. You can sit in my office until class is over and I will come and talk with you." I smiled and she let go of my hands and led me into the back of the class.