Storyverse. Dan/Rorschach, mature, sexual themes and actions, some violence, spoilers. Not what really happened, but all takes place in a time slot left blank by Moore and Gibbons, who own these characters. I only own my ideas. (first Watchmen fic, please be gentle)

Walter tastes like salty pineapple. I've never had salty pineapple before, but if I ever have it, this is what I expect it to taste like. Rather overwhelming, though not unwelcome or even that unpleasant. It's certainly better than expected, that's for sure. I can't suppress the goofy grin on my face as I sit up, listening to the raspy pant of my best friend. "Love, Daniel."

His voice gives me shivers, and the context makes me blush brightly. "Uh... I love you too, um...Walter." I'm trying to get used to his name, it seems really important to him. He looks... well, like he's been sexed. His hair's a mess, his mouth is open, his eyes shut tight. Slowly he opens them, body undulating, muscles trying to become tense again, not accustomed to such release. Was this his first blow job?....Probably. Actually, I'm almost certain it's a yes. Which is sad, he must be so lonely. I had always kind of hoped he'd had a girlfriend to go home to after a night of busting heads. That was back in the day though, before things got so complicated.

I get shaken out of my thoughts as Walter tenses and skirts away, scooting across the floor, away from me.

"Sorry Daniel. Very sorry. Didn't intend.... well, of course I intended..... Sorry. So sorry. You made me. No fair."

I stare blankly. "Uh... about what? Walter, what's wrong?"

"Face, Daniel. " He points to my chin, flustered. I blush, wiping what I didn't swallow with the back of my hand.

"Not a big deal. No harm done, it's fine..." I smile at him, use a calming voice. "It's fine, Walter, I promise. It's good, you ... " I hesitate, and blush. "You taste pretty good." I stand, trying to feel natural rather than awkward in my nakedness, and start searching Archie for something cool to drink. I know I have something here, somewhere.

He's scowling, I can feel his eyes burning into the back of my neck. "Almost wish you were lying, Daniel. Not sure what to make of 'tasty' semen."

I crack up, leaning against one of the rounded walls, laughing. It's all I can do, take a page from Blake, laugh it out. Walter slowly smiles, though I'm not sure if he finds funny what I find funny. Hell, what in this damned situation is funny? Chuckles petering out, I resume my searching, finally finding a case of coke, old green-glass bottles, in the back of a refridgeration unit. It's still too hot in here, these will be good... I see Walter staring, and hand him one, of course. He marvels at it.

"American love."

"What?"

He leans back, clearly quoting something, though damned if I know what Walter reads. "Offered Swedish love and French love...but not American love. American love-, like coke in green-glass bottles...they don't make it anymore..." He leans forward, done his quote, opening his bottle. "Cute, Daniel. Cute."

I chuckle. "Thanks. They do make it, you just have to special order, like the sugar cubes."

"Most extravagant Jew in existence, Daniel."

I frown. "How'd you know about that?" I'm not really comfortable with this line of conversation. Funny, I'd be more comfortable on my knees in front of Walter again, then talking about yet another reason my father was disappointed in me.

"Lucky guess. Jewish last name. More Kosher food in fridge than non, though clearly lapsed. Old skull cape and menorah in kitchen closet. Bar Mitsva picture in bedside table drawer."

"You're joking." It takes me more than a moment to remember that I do have a picture of that, in my bedside drawer. "I... God dammit Rorsch-"

"Walter" He corrects me, cutting me off.

"Don't snoop."

"Too late."

He's amused. He's smiling. "You don't just waltz around someone's house when they're not home, looking through their stuff to figure out what religion they are!"

"Should be more bothered by anger. Can't work up energy to worry. Daniel is appealing when mad."

... Well, I can't argue with that. I can only half sulk, my ego boosted by the comment. "Still, Walter, that's rude. Hell, what'd you have done if I'd come home and you were in my room?!"

"Jumped out window if necessary."

He's joking ... it's like the old days. It's like before the Keene Act, before the riots. Just the two of us sitting around drinking coke, shooting the breeze before doing some rounds. Though to be honest, back in the day I would be wearing a lot more, and he wouldn't be sitting with blood on his thighs.

"Seriously, Walter. What if I came home?"

"You always spent Friday nights with Hollis, out late, often until at least midnight. Plenty of time. If caught unawares, you don't check under your bed before sleeping. Very thoughtless, Daniel. Always considered telling you, never got brought up."

I'm floored. Shit. "Friday nights...under....my bed....you...!?!?"

"Now who needs grammar, Daniel? Yes."

"But.... " I blush. I know damn well what I do in bed most Friday nights, thoughts of the good days going through my head, adventures with Rorschach, beating up bad guys, wearing the leather... thank God I don't think I ever said his name, I'm more of a 'whimper and moan' guy than a talker. That would be worse. but even so, this is ... embarrassing.

"But what, Daniel?" His tone is so innocent, but I know he's faking. He's trying to make me more flustered. He's toying with me!

"But nothing. Let's get back to you harping on me for being Jewish."

"No. More fun, watching you squirm."

I blush, taking his comment the the indecent way first. "Huh. You're fun to watch squirm too."

I pride myself on catching the punch. I might be out of shape, but he's almost out of blood. "Don't mock, Daniel."

"Don't toy, Walter." I imitate. He's not happy with that, lips curling back a bit.

"I'll have you know damn well I can talk however the fuck I want, Dan. Don't tell me you've forgotten back when full sentences were normal for me."

I'm impressed. Pleased, and impressed. I sling an arm around my disgruntled buddy. "I haven't heard you talk like that in a long time. A very long time." There's a sadness to my words.

He knows how I feel. "Don't take personally. Not your fault." He pauses, closing eyes, going to that same pose he had when quoting the coke thing. " ' Hey Daniel, I'm going to take on that kidnapping case. Can I do it alone? Just a little girl, probably only one persecutor. See you after, right?' ... said yes. Went alone.... changed. Sorry."

"That case really messed you up." I mutter the words, thoughtlessly.

".......... "He looks at me with a deadpan face. "Really? Hadn't noticed. Only lost hope in humanity. No big deal."

It's hard to tell if he's joking right now. Somehow I think it's supposed to be a joke, but the kind no one laughs at. These thoughts make me miss The Comedian.

Walter burrows into my side slightly, some attempt at cuddling. It's cute. "Are we there yet?"

"No, and we won't be for hours... Archie's fast, but Veidt is far."

"Hurm." I'm on my back, pounced, before I know it. Walter's pinned me, and I can't say I object to the situation. "Don't wish for boredom. Could very well die in arctic snows. Make best of company and resources available."

"You're not going to die, Walter. If you die. I'll sleep with Laurie while actually thinking about her." I shudder. He laughs, a leg either side of me, extending his hand for a shake.

"Deal."

I chuckle and shake on it.