Author's note

I'm trying something and if you like it i'm very very happy! It might be pretty lame at first but it's actually gonna be pretty good. You're going to understand the rating M soon enough.

Also, I DO NOT own these characters, and this is only fanfiction.

/

Someone pages me 911 and I'm running as fast as I can trying not to stumble.

"What do we have?", I immediately ask when I get to the room.

"32 years old women and a 3 years old child got into a car accident. The mother is in another room and she's going to be okay." I nod and take a look at the brown haired kid lying in front of me covered in blood.

How come someone so young and so innocent can deserve anything like this?

After a 2,5h surgery I'm so tired and my shift is finally over. I'm supposed to meet Kate at Joe's in 20 minutes and i need to take a shower before that.

"Robbins, you going to speak to the mother?", Karev yells after me and i stop.

Damn it. I almost forgot.

"Uhm yeah, is it okay if you go and tell her there's nothing to worry and I'll come in a minute?" I ask and Alex nods. This gives me time to text Kate and apologize for being late.

This isn't like me. Forgetting things. Being late. No, not really. It's just a bad week even though it's only Tuesday. Who knows if the child i just operated is going to survive. To be honest, who knows if I'm going to walk across the street later this night and get hit by a car because that's how life works. You may never know when something big happens.

You may never know when you see your friend last time, or when you take your last breathe. That's why I'm trying to enjoy my life as much as I can. With Kate. Tonight.

Ever since my brother died I realized that's what life's about. You must have fun and do the things that make you happy. It took me a long time to understand what it means, but now I think I know.

I don't date. Nope, I just have fun. It's not like I'm sleeping with the people in the hospital in on-call rooms. Well I might sleep with people who work in the hospital, but I have my limits too.

No on-call rooms and definitely nothing serious, because I don't need anything serious in my life right now. Who knows if I'll ever need.

I text her:

sorry, i'm gonna be about 20 minutes late. i'll make it up to you though…

I smile big after I send the text and give my self a high five in my mind. Nice one Robbins.

I quickly put the phone away and go meet the parent of the child.

It's well practiced protocol what i do when i get in. If she's crying, I'm going to give her some time but i introduce myself and probably shake hands with her. If she's calm, I'm still introducing myself and shaking hands with her but i'm being much faster.

I walk in to the room, what's given to her. Karev turn around to see me and nod at me and then lefts the room. The person who appears behind him, sitting on the bed looks breathtakingly amazing. Her dark brown hair is a bit of curly and messy, she's still wearing her personal clothes on, even though they have some blood on them.

I feel like I'm going to freeze. Did i freeze? She nods at me and offers her hand to shake mine. It takes me a moment to realize this is the part where i say who I am.

"Dr. Robbins, your daughter's doctor", I introduce and shake her hand. I feel my breath getting heavy when i feel her warm hand against mine. Something feels strange in my stomach. She softly shakes my hand and says:

"Callie Torres", she almost whispers. Her voice is like music and i feel myself biting my teeth together. She's so incredible beautiful. More than that. Her brown eyes look so bright under the lights.

You're freezing again, pull yourself together Arizona.

"My colleague just told you everything you needed to know, I suppose, but is there anything you want to ask?" I quickly peep and hope she doesn't notice the change in my tone.

She looks at her hands and shakes her head.

"I-I just don't know how this is possible. H-how something.. Something like this can happen to anyone?" She starts.

I'm not sure if she's talking to me or herself but I'm listening. Just when I'm about to tell her these kind of things happen she continues:

"The car just came out of nowhere. I was looking at the road, I swear. Th- The police said he was drunk but what if it still was my fault? What if my little girl is in there, dying, because of me?"

A small tear drops from her eye and she quickly wipes it away. She looks like she's ashamed to be crying in front of me and I just want to hold her. It's okay to hold patients and their parents, well sometimes, but I feel like I'm taking an advantage of her.

Not just because she's just unbelievable beautiful and probably the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, but also because she's upset.

So, I just try to put words together and start:

"I know it might feel like it's your fault, but you know what? If the guy drove the car when he was drunk, it can't be your fault. You're too upset to see the whole picture and i totally get it, but don't blame yourself. I'm doing my best for your child." I try to sound as comforting i can but even god knows I'm not good at handling situations like this.

"Sofia", she whispers and i lift my eyebrows in confusion.

"Her name is Sofia", she explains and looks into my eyes for the first time. Don't. Freeze.

I give her a tiny smile and say: "I'm doing my best for Sofia."

She tries to smile back but I can see how she's trying not to fall apart in front of me. I know I'm supposed to go now. This is the part where i leave and she cries for hours until they let her see her daughter. This is the part where I'm suppose to be professional and not think about what i want.

But just when I'm about to tell her that I need to see more patients, i open my mouth: "Do you have any family members that could come see her, while you maybe get some food or go home and get something you need?"

There goes the professionalism. She shakes her head. "It's only me and Sofia. Her dad is dead and I haven't spoken to my parents since I moved out." She sighs and rests her face on her hands. I'm not sure if she's crying or trying not to cry.

I look at the clock and it's already 22:45. Damn it. I'm supposed to be at Joe's in 15 minutes and I haven't taken the shower yet.

"They aren't gonna let me see Sofia tonight. Not yet. They said she might still need a surgery if something goes wrong." She starts again and I focus on her again.

I nod. "I know it doesn't feel right, uhm.. It's not right and i wish i could do something about it but i can't." I explain.

Her eyes meet mine and i feel shivers up and down my spine. The silence settles down and we hear some other patient behind the curtain snoring loudly.

She needs to be somewhere where she's alone. She needs time.

I guess her mind is already drifting away, far away from where she is, because her eyes seem so empty.

"Can you sleep here?", I ask before i realize it was out of line kind of question. She quickly comes back from her thoughts and looks confused, but says: "I don't think so. I just need to see she's okay, and I can't sleep when someone snores".

"I-I'd really let you meet your daughter, but there's just a lot of doctors and other patients and-"

"I know, but i appreciate the thought Dr. Robbins."

And the shivers come back for one more time. This time my mind is drifting. I'm not sure should i focus on the fact that she seems so strong even though she's living a nightmare or on the fact how i'd love to hear her calling me Dr. Robbins other situations.

Pull. Yourself. Together. Now.

"Uhm but I can help you with the sleeping", I start.

She looks very confused and when i understand how i started my sentence i feel my cheeks blushing. "I mean there are these on-call rooms we have for doctors and nurses, but i know a few of them what people don't really use so you can sleep there?" I quickly add.

If i get caught I'm so screwed. So so screwed.

"I don't know, it sounds like it's not allowed and the last thing i wanna do is to be-" She tries to mumble but i interrupt her: "No! You really need to sleep and it's so close to your daughters room. I have a morning shift so i can just wake you up", i try to convince her. I know Alex did this once too, so i can always drag him down with me if something goes wrong.

She slowly nods and i lead her to the on-call room. I open the door and start explaining: "So there are two beds, and a toilet is here", i point her the other door in the room.

"You don't really need to be scared that someone will come here, because when people use on-call rooms, they prefer the ones with double beds instead of bunk beds like this room has", I continue. Just when i finish my sentence i understand what i just said and i immediately want to take it back.

"Wait do you mean that doctors actually..?" She asks me right away, but i'm not sure if she's terrified or amused. I wanna slap my face so hard but instead of actually doing it i try to stay calm. "Uhm, no, my point was just..."

"Yeah i get it", she laughs a little even though her eyes seem so tired and sad. I wish i could make her feel better, but i know the only thing she needs right now is her daughter to feel better.

I close the door behind us and look at the clock.

22:52.

"So uhm, Thank you-" She starts but i quickly add: "Arizona."

"Arizona", she repeats and i'm biting my teeth together once again.

"But I'll wake you up and if everything happens with Sofia, I'll let you know. Just try to sleep", I tell her and grab the door handle.

"I really appreciate this, Arizona", i hear a voice behind me and let go of the door handle for a second. I turn around and look into her eyes not being sure what to do so i just end up giving her a small smile.

"Good night", I say and leave her alone.