Arizona's POV

It's not like I'd want to say no. I mean once you've met her there's no way you're saying no. But I'm going to say no - am I? I'm sitting at the table in my home and thinking about the two options how to get out of this situation - booze or cigarette.

Wait, what about no? It's been almost two years since I've smoked. Smoking isn't really the kind of thing I do all the time. It's like a habit to ease the stress. Well it was before I found out sex was better and healthier.

Drinking - yeah sometimes but I like to remember things. Remember what I've said, who I've flirted with, where I left my wallet. I squeeze my eyes and try to mute my mind. Her voice is all I can hear and I need to get over it and I'm smart enough to know this is the day when a cigarette won't help me enough.

Happily for me, I live a few blocks away from Joe's so I don't need to be sober enough to drive. When I moved to Seattle I knew I needed an apartment close enough to the hospital and when I found this place - well, I was sold.

Just one look into the mirror and a quick change of clothes and I'm ready. I put some pink lipstick on and tell myself this is okay.

It's okay to have some fun.

My work starts at 4pm tomorrow day so I'm free to have fun.

Before I leave the house I look at the clock and smile, It's almost 10pm. I'm so free to have fun.

The slight sound of music reaches me even though I'm just standing outside the bar.

You have every-damn right to have fun sometimes. My mind is killing me. It's no big deal to drown your worries by drinking. Well it kind of is, because I'm too damn smart to know that I need to face them again.

Like actually face them - tomorrow, when she's taking her daughter home.

Before thinking any further I open the door and the smell of alcohol gets to me. I walk towards the counter. The place is so full and all I can actually focus on is how long does it take me to get drunk, so I order. I order a vodka and tonic. This should help me to get drunk.

It takes me two rounds to get her voice more silent and four rounds to get it away.

She's the first person to have this kind of effect on me. I've probably had more one night stands that it's okay to have, so this is really bothering me.

It's bothering me because the first time I met her I thought she was straight so I had every right to tell myself I had no hope. I was able to keep myself calm in front of her and to focus on her daughter. Then she decides to ask me out. Okay, great. Well to be honest it would have been great if she wasn't my patient's mother.

I'm not the kind of women who takes an advantage of someone who's having a hard time. Like if we would be a thing - which is impossible because I don't date. But if - this one night I come home from work and she's mad at me about something and then we would fight, she would come up with the card 'you took an advantage of me back then'.

And that's the place where I would have nothing to say back because she would have every right to say it out loud, even though it wouldn't be true. I could never use her.

"Well what do I have here?", a familiar sound giggles and sits next to me. She immediately orders and I realize it's Teddy. What on earth is she doing in here?

"Teddy, what are you doing here?", I ask and try to take a sip of my drink but the glass is empty. I'm just about to order one more, when Teddy says: "Uhm, I think you should slow down Arizona". I give her an unhappy look and she continues: "I mean, don't you remember that you texted me about 15 minutes ago that I need to come here?"

I start laughing. No I didn't.

I would remember if I did. I take my phone from my wallet and open my lock screen. Wait, how is it already 23.31? My mind skips the fact that time has passed by way too rapidly and I open my last sent text.

It's true. I actually texted her to come here.

"What's wrong?" She starts and I put the phone back in my wallet.

Arizona, you can't tell her.

Why? She's your friend you can tell her everything.

She would not understand.

I quickly gulp and start laughing nervously: "What do you mean? Everything's awesome!"

Everything was awesome before you showed up here.

Teddy frowns and sighs. "I'm not stupid. You never get this drunk. Just spit it out?"

Damn it Teddy. No, damn it Arizona. Why did I even invite her here? What was I thinking?

I'm too scared that Teddy will find out everything just by looking at me so I try to look on the floor but it's really hard because of the fact I'm way too drunk. I'm way too drunk for this conversation because Teddy knows how to make me speak.

"Arizona just tell me", she says more calm and gives me the 'I'm your friend no matter what'- look. I'm still hesitating.

My eyes lift up of the floor and I start: "You tell no one. By no one I mean no one." My voice is as low as it can be. Teddy nods and leans forward to me, ready to hear what gets Arizona Robbins this drunk.

I start by telling her how hot she is. How amazing her smile is, even though I've seen it for about two seconds. About her dark hair, caramel skin, voice - I actually get so lost in my own world so Teddy interrupts me: "Okay okay I get it, but we're not writing another fifty shades of grey in here so get to the point. What's the problem? You're Arizona Robbins."

Then I mention she's the mother of my patient. Well a very hot mother but still. I explain how I first thought she was straight but later she asked me out and now I'm here, in the bar, telling it to Teddy.

"What if you just skip the part she's your patient's mother? When is your patient getting home anyway?" Teddy tries to come up with a solution.

If only you knew Teddy, it's not that simple for me.

"Tomorrow", I bite my teeth together and look at my empty glass, hoping it would be full.

"I just don't understand how you're making it so freaking hard for yourself. She asked you out. I mean, I'm married to a patient at the moment."

Point taken. But Teddy married Henry because she wanted to help him. Also Teddy is Teddy.

"I'm not making it hard, it just doesn't feel right", I defend myself and sigh.

I knew I shouldn't tell her.

"Can we just forget the fact that I just told you this and act like this never happened, please?" I try.

She's quiet for about 5 seconds and says: "Okay, at least for now".

"At least for now", I repeat and order another round. What a lovely day will tomorrow be when she mentions this again. I know her, she doesn't forget these kind of things. Teddy likes to help people, like she helps Henry. She's an ultimate shipper who gets what she wants.

The night gets so much better once we stop talking about Callie. Teddy tells me about how she told her parents about Henry and how her dad is angry at her, because he thinks marriage shouldn't work like that.

In my opinion, their marriage is made of love. Well different kind of love. Teddy loves Henry enough to call him as her husband at least. I could never understand a relationship like that. I don't understand relationships at all.

I hate being in a relationship. Well at least I hated. Lauren made me believe that she could change. She promised me she would never cheat on me.

I loved her with all my heart. She made me feel special and after she showed me how stupid it is to trust someone - I realized it was pointless. It was pointless to fall in love, because I would end up being the one who loves more and you don't want to be the one who loves more.

"Are you listening to me at all?", I hear Teddy's voice and I snap back on earth.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I'm just tired", I explain and act like I'm yawning.

Who acts yawning?

"They called me from hospital so I need to go now, promise me you won't flirt with anyone when you're that drunk, please?" Teddy begs and I just nod. She leaves the bartender a tip and leaves me alone.

I feel more sober than I should and I'm just about to order one more round before I hear her voice coming back. It's back.

I'm too sober, I should order the damn drink now, but I can't.

I want to listen to her voice. First I can't hear her voice well enough to understand but then I can pick a word from there and there.

"Actually it's Calliope. It's pretty stupid, nobody really uses it so please don't use it. People just laugh at it", the voice says. Usually my mind repeats the kind of words she has told me, like: "I know this is super awkward and I don't really do this all the time".

I guess I'm still drunk enough so my mind can come up with these weird sentences. What if her name really is Calliope? Wait how could my mind make that up? I try to look at the bartender but my world is shaking so I end up looking at the table.

So I'm not sober yet.

Her voice is still in my head, talking about something I can't focus on because somehow the name Calliope gets stuck in my head. Actually so stuck that I want to hear what it would sound like if I'd say it out loud. I whisper it, but the bartender looks at me, so I guess I said it way too loud.

"Yes?", the voice says behind me and I freeze.