Storyverse. Dan/Rorschach, mature, sexual themes and actions, some violence, spoilers. Not what really happened, but all takes place in a time slot left blank by Moore and Gibbons, who own these characters. I only own my ideas. (first Watchmen fic, please be gentle)
Was Walter just bitching at me from under Rorschach's face? Complaining about Laurie? I never thought I'd see that, certainly not so soon... I'm glad though. And it seems that Laurie just shot Veidt. I don't know what to make of that. Of her killing someone. Then again, it was for Jon. She loves him. I can see that, anybody can see that.
Holy Shit. Veidt just got shot point blank and he's not dead. He just kicked Laurie in the stomach. That bastard! You don't hurt a woman! I'm outraged, and the idea that Rorschach might get the wrong idea flickers through my mind for only half a second, if that.
"VEIDT!" I'm pissed."Veidt, you bastard. If you've hurt her, I'll..."
"Oh Daniel. Daniel, Daniel, Daniel...please... do grow up." The way he says my name gives me chills. I feel sick. He launches into another of his boring monologues. He starts to walk, passing Rorschach, who for some reason doesn't take a swing at him. The cat's been zapped, along with Jon, though I don't think Rorschach was paying attention. Rorschach should be trying to pound Veidt's skull in.
Just before we enter the anteroom again, Laurie pulls me closer, whispering. "Jon kills Rorschach. He can't be... he can't be..." She starts to sob. I let her hold on to me,and let Veidt go on with his little power trip speech. Watch Laurie's' jaw drop. Watch even Veidt seem stunned, as a giant Jon appears outside, and bursts a hand through the wall. I try to shield Laurie from the debris with my cape, letting Rorschach fend for himself for a moment, all the while hoping that a piece of granite squashes Veidt like a bug.
My moment of 'Jon can't kill Rorschach, Jon's dead' is shattered, completely ended, and brought to a total stop. No... No fuck. But I already feel myself resigning to it. Jon once said that he had no choice in what happens. Only that things happen, and he's aware of them in a different way than us. If Jon has seen himself killing Rorschach...then Rorschach is dead.
"I am disappointed, Veidt. Very disappointed."
Another monologue, just from a different source. And then Veidt turns on the TVs....and I nearly throw up. He did do it. Rorschach was right. He's always been right. Always, always known the heart of the matter, the evil in Veidt, he's known everything. I've just been such a fool. I want to hug him now, hold him close and ... no. He doesn't want me near him right now, he's angry. I don't know why yet, but he's pissed at me.
Finally it comes to us being silent. If we talk, Veidt will kill us. I have no doubt. I value my life. I have something to live for. I have a lot to live for. "How...how can humans make decisions like this? We're damned if we stay quiet, Earth is damned if we don't. We.." I pause, wiping my mouth. I feel sick, I want Walter to chime in instead, I want to know that he'll compromise for me one more time. There is nothing but silence from the man under the mask. "Okay. Okay, count me in. We say nothing."
Rorschach finally speaks, and I know it's Rorschach, not Walter. "Joking, of course."
He strides to the door. My voice is frantic as I plead with him. The mother hen in me is flapping her wings, terrified. So this is how he dies. No! I can't let him. I can never completely interfere, but he has to listen! "Rorschach...? Rorschach, WAIT! Where are you going? This it too big to be hard assed about! We have compromise-"
"No." He cuts me off, not facing me, not facing any of us. Though there's no need, since none of the others know him like I do. Know one else knows he's crying, that under the mask he knows that he'll be stopped. That he's fighting for a lost cause. "Not even in the face of Armageddon." Another pause. I want to tell him I love him. He's waiting for it. But I can't. Not now, in front of Laurie, in front of every one. He hangs his head as the door shuts. "Never compromise."
My heart makes a tinkering sound as I feel it break into a million pieces. Of course he chose saving the world over me. That's reasonable. I shouldn't be worth more to him than millions of people. He can't care that this will just mean more people will die. It's the principle. I can make myself understand that. But I'll never like it.
I try not to feel out of my dept as Veidt the killer offers Laurie and I a place in his frigid home. Laurie realizes that Jon is gone, and I shudder. I know where he is. He's out there, with Rorschach. I pray to God that it's Rorschach, and not Walter. I want my lover to be as numb as possible when he passes. I don't want him to suffer. I let myself get trailed along by Laurie, slowly remembering the bet.I listen to her natter on. I want to tell her about me and Walter, but when I try, she lets me know that Jon might want to kill me. That he's mad at me for having slept with her. Oh boy, wouldn't that be wonderful. Die at the hands of Jon for sex I didn't even really want to have with a girlfriend I want him to keep.
She is a friend though. A good friend. Someone who I can relate to. She's a sane crime fighter, someone who used to dress up like a child at Halloween and kick the shit out of criminals. That's hard to find in someone. Someone who will tolerate you, at least. I've spread out my snow suit, for us to sit on.
She's crying again, talking about how the world is so sweet. She's holding my hands, we're sitting together... I don't know. I don't know how this should go. What about Walter. He's dead. I know he's dead. He must be by now. Oh Gods this hurts, in my chest, it hurts so much. I start to cry too.
"Laurie? Wh-what do you want me to do?"
"I want you to love me. I want you to love me because we're not dead."
Dead. Dead like Walter. Like Half of New York. The tears come faster. I can learn to love her. I can learn. It will take a while, but I can do it, I'm sure I can. I don't say anything, just trying to keep the grief at bay, the impact from sinking in.
"Here... take these off." She pushes away my goggles. "I want to see you. I want to see you and taste you and smell you, just because I can. What is that, Dan? What's that you smell of?"
It takes me a moment to remember. Rorschach stole my after shave. He smelled of it, strongly, under all the other scents. I choke back a sob. "Nostalgia."
Our lips touch, and I break a bet with Walter. I may have sex with Laurie. But I'll never think of her during it. My heart belongs to a man who died for all the right reasons in a world that is far too wrong for comprehension. I love him.
I always will.