I walk through the great mahogany doors of the mansion to the lovely images of my lovely *note the sarcasm* older sisters, Evelyn and Ernestine (twins) making out on the couch. No, they are not making out with each other (you pervs!! but i wouldn't be surprised at that either), but they were sucking face with two random guys they probably picked up off the street with their ripped jeans etc.
"Get a room!" I yell, which is met by four consecutive middle fingers.
Home, sweet home.
Surprise, surprise the parents have left me a note (or ordered a maid to leave me a note) on my door saying that i should have a happy fifteenth birthday blah blah blah. Mom says she's out having afternoon tea with her high society friends (which one of the prerequisites for joining seems to be that you have to have had at least two boob jobs done, no joke) and dad playing golf aka getting drunk so he won't clearly see the bill from mom's plastic surgeon. I actually wouldn't have read the note, if i didn't catch words ball at the very end. Then, it had my full attention
Dear Colletta, (ugh that STUPID FREAKING NAME THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY FOR GOD'S SAKE!)
Happy Birthday...(insert various meaningless phrases here talking about why my birthday is special to them...I wonder who they paid to write this??)
Please be ready for your birthday ball at 7:30 p.m., Abby will be in at 6:30 to help you. The ball is held in the Ivy Ball Room, so you are to wear your emerald dress.
Your adoring parents,
Christine and Gerard
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!!
leave it to them to RUIN MY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Great, I'll wear that ugly green dress with so many ornaments on it that it will probably weigh more than me (a woman must show off her wealth, as my mother constantly tells me)
No doubt I'll be seated with a boy who is the son of some important colleague of my father to whom I'm supposed to flirt with, kiss up to, and have pleasant lady like conversation with as befitted a lady of high society.
Maybe if I sneak some alcohol from another table, and I get really really drunk, then the whole experience will become less painful! Or, I can get one of the many priceless vases to fall on me, and will have to miss the event because of all the pain I'm faking, or there was that one time when...
My scheming is interrupted by a light tap at the door, shoot its already 6:30, whatever I can plead fatigue at around midnight so this shouldn't be that bad, I can handle a few hours i guess.
Dragging my feet, I go to open the door and let Abby in, she's equipped with a cart of tools which makes it seem to me like she's going to amputate my leg with.
Isn't life beautiful? Sarcasm is a wonderful thing
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An hour later finds me actually smiling.
I look into the mirror at my jimmy choo shoes ($500), perfect long and shining brunette hair flowing down to my waste ($350-products in hair plus an extra $730 for the emerald heirloom clip that holds it back), my pink lips with slight color and a sheer sparkling lip gloss ($54), and my bright green eyes that are brought out with my emerald dress.
You know in those Visa commercials where they list the price of everything and then have one priceless item? Well, thats how i feel about the look on my mother face, when she sees I've altered the obnoxious emerald dress; its priceless No longer is it covered with pricy baubles and ornaments, now it is just plain green silk with a sheer over part that is a sparkly veil like material. I actually look good.
The best part; right now, as I walk down the grand stair case and make my entrance with a glowing face to the politely applauding crowd below, is the first time my mom sees the alterations, and she can't do anything about it.
Maybe I'll update later, I'm really excited about this story for once, because I have an ending written already which means i'm probably going to finish the story =]
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