A.N.: Hey guys! Clodagh here with another update, this is quite a long'un!

So I have good news and bad news.

Good news is I passed my theory test!

Bad news is I move on Friday and won't have internet until the 17th. Which is coincidently the day I move up to university. But my internet there is already set up! So I'll try to get to coffee shops or my nana's the days I need to upload, but it might not be possible! So if this is my last update for a while- fear not, I'll be back as soon as I have internet!

I hope you enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think!

Cause I don't wanna fall in love
If you don't wanna try,
But all that I've been thinking of
Is maybe that you might.

-'Say You Love Me' Jessie Ware

CHAPTER EIGHT

X.x.X

Peter's slumped down on the floor with his back against a wall when he hears high boots clicking on the wooden floor in his direction. Rogue stops beside him and slides down beside him.

"Hey Pete," she greets and Peter nods in acknowledgement. She stays silent for a few moments before speaking again. "I know it's none of my business but….something is wrong with Kitty. She's not herself, and neither is Logan," she states and Peter looks at her in surprise.

"Kitty was my roommate when we were teenagers, Pete. Sure we didn't get along at first but she's my friend, I know when something is wrong with her," she reminds him.

Peter drags a hand down his face tiredly. "I don't know what I can tell you, Rogue," he replies earnestly.

Rogue doesn't look at him when she speaks. "She's in love with him, isn't she?"

Peter sighs. "No. Yes. Maybe," he concedes. "It's complicated."

"How are you so…calm about that?" Rogue asks, surprised.

"Because she can't help it," he replies. "She-" Peter cuts himself off and looks at his team mate. Rogue was a friend, and had been a good friend for years. He trusted her with his life, and while he couldn't tell her the whole truth- the future is a fragile thing, God knows what paradoxes could happen if too many people knew- he trusted she could keep a secret.

With another moment of hesitation, Peter tries to explain. "You're right. There is something wrong with Kitty. She's not herself, and her mind is…split. Sort of like amnesia," he explains, and she nods. "Kitty- some day's she's here with us and she's herself. Other days- something happened, or she thinks something happened, and she's confused. She doesn't remember these things, and I have to help her remember. Or try," he adds sheepishly.

Rogue takes this revelation surprisingly well. "So some days she doesn't remember that she loves you?"

Rogue's words are like a knife to his heart, so all he can do is nod.

Rogue takes his hand and squeezes. "I'm sorry, Peter."

Peter smiles at his friend. "So am I, Rogue. So am I."

"So what do you do?" Rogue asks him curiously. She couldn't imagine what it would be like if Bobby forgot he loved her. The pain would be horrendous.

"I…be there. I try to understand. And I try to get her to remember. And then I hope and pray that the recognition will come back, and that will be the last time she looks at me and she feels nothing," Peter answers.

Rogue is stunned into silence for a second before responding. "Wow. You must really love her to try and get her to fall in love with you every day."

Peter smiles and it's heart-breaking. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out something that makes Rogue's heart plummet. Holding an engagement ring in his hand, Peter finally chokes out the words. "I wouldn't have had this in my pocket for months if I didn't."

X.x.X

"How….how did it happen?" you ask him one day. Peter looks up from the papers he's grading, his jaw covered in stubble and his eyes tired. "Us, you mean?" he queries and you nod from your position cross legged on the bed. Peter caps his pen and leans back in his chair.

"Well we got close after being on the run from Stryker. The other kids were terrified. Crying and screaming. And you- all 5ft of you-" Peter ducks the pillow that's thrown at his head, smirking before continuing- "Calm them down. You comforted them and kept them quiet so we wouldn't be found as I tried to get us out of there. You weren't even one of the oldest. But you took those kids under your wing and kept them calm and then just waltzed right up to me and asked what the plan was, and what you could do to help. Just like that. Like this was no big d deal."

You nod similar memories resurfacing. "That sounds about right."

You can't help but wonder-

Where did it all go wrong?

X.x.X

"You want me to what?" Peter asks incredulously of you.

You know what is going through his head. You're young, you're small, and you're breakable.

But no more.

"I want you to train me."

"You're already getting training. You're marked down for being an X-Man as soon as you graduate," he reminds you, and you tut impatiently.

"Yeah and we both know that I've been an X-Man for a while now, they had no qualms about throwing half trained children into a war," you shoot back and immediately regret it.

Peter looks at you evenly. "We were already in a war, Kitty. They had no choice. We did."

"And I would choose it over again," you concede, following him across the danger room as he tidies his equipment away. "But-" You stand so you're blocking him, as much as you can anyway. "-I want to be of more help. I want to be able to fight."

"Storm is already training you for your ability, and Logan is already taking team training," he reminds you and you feel yourself bristle.

"I know, Peter, I am there," you grit out. "I know you've taken classes outside of the institute and can teach me other things."

"Like what?" Peter asks exasperatedly, "I'm not a teacher. Not yet, anyway."

"I need you to teach me self-defence, alright?" you blurt out, frustrated. Peter pauses in his packing and looks at you.

"Why do you need to know self-defence?" he asks curiously and you scuff your shoes on the floor.

"I'm a girl, I'm tiny, I have no weight. I have nothing working for me. And enemies aren't always people you can use your powers on. Out there," you gesture vaguely to the direction of outside- "I'm shark bait."

Peter examines your face and shakes his head. "No."

"No? No what?"

"No, that's not the reason you want to learn," he surmises. "What is it, Kitty? What's wrong?"

"I'm weak, okay?!" you yell, and both of you are shocked by the outburst. "When Stryker invaded the Institute there was nothing I could do to stop it or to fight back. The only two that fought back were you and Logan. I'm weak and my powers don't give me strength or anything helpful or useful in defeating someone in close quarter combat. I'm weak and I'm useless and really I managed to survive the battle at Alcatraz by sheer dumb luck. If I go back out there without the right skill set, I'm going to get myself killed," you say angrily. "I would die for good and to help people. But I want to at least be able to take some of them out with me," you explain, feeling idiotic for your outburst. Peter considers you.

"Okay," he replies slowly. You perk up.

"Okay?" you repeat, and he nods and looks more convicted.

"Okay. Yes. I'll train you. But we do things my way, and I'll have to cater it to suit your size and weight. You're small, agile and fast. That helps. And along with your phasing ability? Kitty you may not be strong, but you'll be able to hold your own."

X.x.X

"Did I love him here?" you ask Peter as you're driving into town to get supplies. He's driving and wearing sunglasses to protect his eyes from the sun threatening to melt the snow.

"No, not really. You had a crush on him as a teenager- a pretty big one, it seemed. Still Bobby was with Rogue and had no clue, really, and you were hurt and turned to me for friendship. It seemed that in your fascination with Bobby you missed what was staring you right in the face," he says quietly and you have to look away. "We were friends for years before- before I was even able to admit to myself I had feelings for you." Not missing you stiffen out of the corner of his eye he elaborates. "You were seventeen, I was twenty two. At one point I was your teacher. It would have been highly inappropriate- it was inappropriate. But," he shrugs before glancing at you quickly, "forbidden fruit and all that," he finished, and his words sound more like a promise than a casual phrase.

A few moments of silence pass before you speak again, peering out the window at the familiar snow covering the shops. "I'll need to stop and get you some more sunglasses in there again, those ones look ready to bust off your fat head," you joke. When you get no reaction you turn around. "Come on, Peter, I was only kidding-" you cut off when you see the expression on his face as he quickly pulls into a parking space on the side of the road, haphazardly breaking. "Peter? What's wrong?" you ask, concern growing. You fumble with your seatbelt and slide closer to him swiftly taking off the sunglasses and discarding them, your hands cupping his face, searching his eyes for an answer. He places his hands over yours and shudders a breath. "Katya," he says, his voice caught, "you got me those sunglasses a year ago."

The weight behind what Peter is saying is not lost on you.

You remember getting them before the other future happened.

You remembered part of this future.

X.x.X

Bobby brings you flowers when you're in the hospital room recovering.

He comes at least once a day, if only for a few minutes. Some day's you're too tired and too far gone so you just listen to him talk about his day. Your strength comes back and so does your voice, and you find yourself able to talk to him about when you were younger, memories you share and new ones he tells you of, and you're glad that even if you're not with Bobby, you're not nothing to him either. One day as his visit is wrapping up and he's making to leave, you find the courage to ask him. "Hey, Bobby?" you ask and he 'hum's in recognition. "Do you ever think- that… in a parallel universe, or something...we would have ended up together?" Bobby looks at you oddly, but deems the weird question to come from the painkillers you're on. "You and me?" he repeats and you nod. Bobby chuckles as he heads for the door. "Now that would be crazy. See ya later, Kitty," he replies as he leaves.

"Yeah," you say softly, "crazy."