A/N: Hey guys. As you can see, I decided to continue this story. I have some plot ideas, and decided to write them down. The next chapter I'm really eager to write. And, school's out soon (YAY!), so more writing time!

Don't be mad at Jesse in this chapter, please. It all makes sense in later chapters (especially the 'Suze' part). Sorry for any grammar or spelling I missed.

Please read and review! It means a bunch to me, even if you don't think so.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Mediator series, or else Jesse and Suze would've been together the second we met them.

This Is Now, For Now

Chapter Three

I couldn't speak. And I certainly had trouble breathing.

I literally just sat there in that hideous purple bathrobe on my bed, my legs helplessly dangling off of my bed, staring. Not only feeling out of place, but just staring at this little girl that Jesse claimed was his sister. She simply smiled at me, with teeth as pearly white as some of the shells on the Carmel Beach in front of my house.

"Hello, Susannah!" Josefina greeted in a velvety voice with a deep Spanish accent. Her bright and cherry tone was like glass breaking in my ears, disbelieving and sharp. This all didn't seem real.

But one thing I did know: this was not just some silly coincidence. Josefina did not just decide to show up at a random moment in my bedroom.

So, it wasn't so surprising when I completely ignored her and shrieked at Jesse, "Your sister?"

Jesse nodded eagerly, but avoided my eyes when my gaze raked him over. I could feel guilt and shame dripping from his answer. "Yes. Mi hermana menor."

I stood up, my bare feet hitting the carpet beneath me. My legs wobbled from sitting for so long. Josefina's pretty face only wavered slightly when I barked at her, one finger shaking, "So, will I have to kick your butt back to the spectral plane or are we going to have a nice little chat with my fist instead?"

"Susannah!" Jesse gasped, appalled, and grabbed the wrist of the hand I held up to Josefina. He firmly placed it at my side, not letting go and stepping in between her and me. "Treat my sister with respect."

I gaped at him. Literally, my mouth dropped open. He never gave those types of scary, forceful orders, never to me. He always gave them to the ghosts who were being mean to… well…

To me.

I ripped my wrist out of his grasp, took two steps back, and folded my arms over my chest. "Frankly? I don't give a crap. And the name's Suze."

He looked as if a truck had hit him dead on the face. Which would be rather ironic, if you think about it, seeing as he would know what death was like. "What?"

"My name is Suze." I met his slit eyes with a piercing glare of my own. "Call me Suze, Jesse. You too, over there," I said, nodding my head as Josefina, who's concerned face popped over Jesse's right shoulder.

Jesse looked like he was about to protest, but quickly brought a hand up to wipe across his face. "Yes, I deserve this," I could've sworn I heard him mutter. But, just as I was about to ask him, Josefina cut in, her sweet Spanish tones drifting over Jesse's huge figure.

"Not to be any trouble to either of you, but could I speak to Suze?"

She used my chosen name like I wanted her to. That had to be some kind of plus. So, I turned to Jesse and said, "Go on. You heard tu hermana." I knew I was being childish and annoying, with the Spanish mixing in with my English to mock him, but face it: Jesse deserved this.

Think about it. He promised he loved me. Then he deserted me for many months without any contact. And then he shows up on my doorstep, not even to break up with me. To ask for my help with being a mediator and dealing with the spectral plane. No, to ask for Father Dom's help.

I had every right to be, quite frankly, pissed. My anger from all those lonely months had only just caught up with me and bubbled to the surface. He had no idea what was coming. If he thought that exorcised ghost Heather from two years ago was a threat, he hadn't met my wrath yet.

"Jesse can stay," Josefina softly said, contrary to my earlier tone. She smiled sweetly at her brother. He returned the gesture and took a seat on the window cushions, Spike hopping onto his lap once again after getting over the initial shock at another supernatural presence.

I mirrored his movements on my own bed, setting my body back where it was previously. "Okay. So, why are you on this earth, Josefina? What's holding you back from passing to the beyond?"

She wrinkled her nose, swinging her skirt like the eighteen-year-old girl she was from the middle of the room. A center stage. "I… don't know. I'm just here."

Okay, this was not getting anywhere. "Care to elaborate?"

"Well… I died – "

"That much was obvious," I muttered under my breath.

" – and now I'm back. That's about as much as I can remember. Death is… weird. All I know is that I'm now a ghost, taking the shape of when I was eighteen. I guess it was my best year, right?"

Personally, I didn't care what happened to us after we died. But it seemed important to pay attention. Josefina didn't know why she was here, and this was the only chance to fix it.

"Suze." I turned to Jesse, sending a questioning glance at his cringing face. Then I remembered my earlier command to him, and quickly turned away, embarrassed for some unknown reason. His voice sounded weird saying the name I preferred with everyone except him. Even though I should have been happy that I got what I wanted – him to say my chosen name – it felt like a hollow and empty victory. "I don't… think you're going about this the right way."

"Then do tell what the right way is," I snapped.

Jesse turned to his sister, squaring his shoulders. "Josefina," he said, "please explain what you want to accomplish."

She nodded her head, curls bouncing, and sat down next to Jesse on the window seat. Spike hissed a little, but then relaxed into her gentle touch. They could have been on a Christmas card, the perfect sister and brother with their cat. Except for the fact that, well, one was dead, one was the living dead, and one was a vicious monster. Kind of tough to explain.

"I've been in the spectral plane all this time. And word has been going around there," Josefina started to explain. "Word about shifters, who can take the soul out of one body and put another in its place."

I could already see where this conversation was heading. She glanced at Jesse for support, and continued on. "And that got me thinking… could I get my life back? Could I finally get to live the life I always wanted with my older brother? He died way too young, you know," Josefina said, staring up at her big brother with admiration.

"Died young, yes, but lived dead for much, much longer. Which is an oxymoron, if you think about it." I really had to cut back on the sarcastic comments. Jesse was glaring at me, his features twisted in an unfamiliar way. I had never seen him like this in all my life: his face torn, as if he wanted to scream and rip his hair out in frustration at the same time. Because of me.

Josefina took a deep breath. "Of course, with the word of shifters getting around, your name was occasionally thrown in. You and Paul Slater. And I, of course, was aware after gazing down at you two that Jesse has close relations with you – "

Close. Yeah, right.

" – so I figured I could try to contact you and see if you could do the soul transference. I'm not picky about a body – I'd like it to be a little pretty, though – and if you could stick me in one, I could live with Jesse in his apartment near Cornell in New York. And, of course, have another chance at life."

I only retained one bit of information throughout the whole explanation: Jesse had an apartment?

I turned over to glare at Jesse, but strangely found his eyes averted from mine. Guilt was plainly written on his face… but for what? Leaving me? Bringing Josefina here?

Meanwhile, Josefina's eager face was turned towards me, awaiting an answer. Her brown eyes were alight with hope, her curved nose pointed upwards at the ceiling. It was times like these that I could barely see the greenish glow surrounding her, telling me that she was a ghost.

"Josefina," I tested, hearing her Spanish name on my English tongue once again, "I'd really love to help you out. No, really, I would. But, you see, soul transference is murder."

Jesse shivered at the sound of that word, but said nothing.

"So?" she prompted, acting like it wasn't a problem. Something very wrong was going on. She seemed like a nice ghost, nicer than others I've met in the past. But, the way she spoke so indifferently about murder to give her life another chance… it was creepy and unnerving. I couldn't help myself from shifting uncomfortably on the bed.

"Murder is wrong," I finished weakly. If Jesse wouldn't back me up, my answers didn't hold any merit against his sister. I was losing before I even had a chance to explain myself.

"Please, Suze? Please?" Josefina pleaded, her hands clasped together in front of her chest like a poor beggar. "I could be really useful! Hey, guess what? I know all about the Civil War! I lived through it! Need any help with American history? Hey, I'd even do your homework!"

Homework for a human life? Fair trade, my left foot.

"Suze." At first I had thought it was Josefina that had called by name, but it ended up being Jesse. Their voices were so similar, give or take a few octaves. "Just agree."

My anger flared at him. I would not – definitely not – murder for my ex-boyfriend. Okay, so, technically he wasn't my ex, but he wasn't my boyfriend either. "Why? Why should I agree to kill?"

"Just do it." I could swear I heard his voice break as he buried his head in his hands, Spike still nestled against his stomach.

My set my jaw tight. It wasn't as if I wanted to agree to murder someone, but the fact that I wanted to know what was going on with Jesse. He was definitely acting weird, and wanting me to kill. For his greedy sister. This was not typical Jesse de Silva. I mean, the last time I checked, he wanted me avoiding the seven sins, not damning myself to hell.

But I guess times changed. That was the probably the past, just like all of our memories. What had I to lose anyway? Nobody would know about the fact that some soul would go missing – maybe Paul Slater, but he promised to remain strictly out of my life. Jesse had already broken my heart. It seemed pretty impossible to feel another emotion besides sadness and depression, let alone guilt.

So, I probably made the worst – or best, depending on how you look at it – mistake of my life.

"Fine," I said in a clipped tone.

"Really, Suze? Really? For real?" Josefina abruptly stood up, her face alight with a brightness that would put any star to shame.

"If you ask me one more time, the answer will probably change," I grumbled while she pulled me off of my bed and into a tight hug. Her arms were short and barely reached around me.

But I wasn't looking at her. I was looking over Josefina's shoulder at Jesse, who still hadn't removed his head from his hands. What was going on with him? When he pulled back, his face wasn't relieved as I expected it to be. It was troubled, and worry was plainly written in his brow.

When Josefina finally released me, my hands immediately went to my hair, trying to smooth it down again from where Josefina rumpled it. It was completely dry, with messy curls framing my sweating face. Need I remind my guests, but I was still in a bathrobe in the California heat.

"Thanks so much, Suze! You won't regret it! I'll be your best friend ever once I'm human again!"

And just like that, she was gone, with only an ecstatic smile implanted on my memory to remember her. I had almost forgot ghosts could disappear and appear whenever they wanted.

And I was alone with Jesse once again.

I walked over to my door, opened it, and gestured with my hand for him to leave. "Well, if you've done your duty – showing me Josefina and pushing me to agree to downright murder – then you can leave."

He was about to protest; I could see it in his eyes. But, at the last minute, he closed his mouth and decided with, "I have nowhere to go. I have to stick around until you transfer her."

"Well, you should have thought of that before you flew all the way out here," I snapped.

"I didn't think to, because…" Jesse simply shook his head, stood up off of the window seat, and dropped Spike in the process. That stupid cat didn't even hiss in protest like he did when I dropped him. Purposefully, of course.

I sighed heavily. "There are a couple of motels in some towns over from Carmel, okay? Rent one there. I thought you knew this place street by street anyway. I didn't suppose you just sat around waiting for me to come home everyday, did you?"

His eyes were still turned downward. "I guess not," he answered flatly and defeatedly. Very un-Jesse-like.

I took steps toward him until he had to turn up to look me straight in the eye when he found himself staring down at my feet. "Call me when you're ready to go searching for a body for your precious sister. Strictly business, nothing else."

"Right. Nothing else." He nodded solemnly, a grimace planted on his face. As if this was causing him pain, not me. Usually, he was the one ordering me around. How the tables had turned.

"Now can you get the hell out of here so I can actually get changed after two hours in a bathrobe?" I gestured down at fuzzy purple material covering my body. It was limp and damp, hanging awkwardly off of my shoulder on one side. Bathrobes were meant to be bathrobes for a reason.

Jesse stepped around me, head turned down. At the doorframe, he stopped and gave me one last look, longing and sorrow in those dark pools most people called eyes. "Sorry, Suze," he whispered, and before I could ask what he meant, he was already out of the front door.

Leaving me in a purple bathrobe that I rather would not change out of if it meant he was still here.