AN: Now NaNoWriMo is done the pressure to write has alleviated a touch and thus I managed to punch out another chapter on each of my ongoing fics (don't forget to check back on AO3 for updates on ARtFP guys xx) I feel like I've finally dispelled most of my writer's block, so don't worry about future updates :P Enjoy the chapter x

She pushed her way through the clothes at the front of the wardrobe and, as she had predicted, stumbled over something as she entered the 'room', falling flat on her face as she cried out in shock. How she was shocked, when she had predicted the outcome, she couldn't quite fathom.

With an irritated grunt, she pushed herself up from the floor and muttered the incantation for 'light'. A pale blue sphere of humming energy appeared in her palm, and she flicked it up so it would act as a ceiling light, pouring a little more mana into it to brighten the room further.

Satisfied with the light source, she stood and brushed herself off, casting her gaze around the 'room' to get a feeling how long sorting it might take. She sighed. By the state of it, she could easily see it taking her all day, if not a few days. It didn't worry her too much though. If there was anything she had, it was time.

She started by moving everything away from the entrance; she refused to trip whenever she needed something…

Her methodical approach to sorting her things did nothing to speed up the process, however… and she had to keep up a constant train of interesting thought just to prevent death from boredom. In her mind, she recounted every possible blue magic spell she could think of, in detail.

She was just going over the incantation for cloak, when she heard a cry behind her, and a thud as someone hit the ground. Spinning on her heel, Arianna grimaced as she recognised Ellen, who had tripped over the box she was currently sorting through.

Quickly, Arianna placed the book she'd been moving on the pile she'd been moving it to, before proceeding to help her friend up.

"Sorry about that, you okay?" she asked. Ellen nodded, brushing herself off.

"You know, it's past lunch?" Ellen said, concern lacing her voice.

"Seriously? What time is it?"

"It's 1:30… Arianna, have you been sorting this stuff all morning?"

"Uh… yeah?" Arianna said, laughing sheepishly. "It was all just kind of…. Dumped in here. I wanted to make sure I knew where everything was. I don't think I'm even a tenth through it all yet…"

Ellen stared at her roommate in bewilderment. But then, she smiled. "Okay, but you should at least go and grab something to eat, and don't forget dinner." She said, turning to re-enter their dorm-room.

Arianna pushed the box her friend had tripped over to the side and followed, closing the doors behind her.

"See you later, Ellen…" she muttered as she left the room.

The halls were quiet, the sun streaming through the windows and pouring out before her. Everyone was probably out enjoying the sunshine, while she slaved away in her little storage room.

Not that she minded. She'd have plenty of time to sunbathe when she was done with it. Besides, at the moment, she didn't want time to think. If she was allowed time to think, her thoughts would wander down the dark road to memories of her parents.

She could feel the tears pricking in the corners of her eyes as the memory flashed before her eyes… The gun, pointed under her chin, the feeling of the cold wooden door behind her.

And the look in her Father's eyes. Angry and distant; a look she'd never seen before. It was not the sort of look a Father would cast on his daughter in any circumstances. That was what hurt the most. He hadn't seen his daughter, because in his eyes he didn't have one.

By the time she reached the hall, tears were streaming down her face and she was suddenly glad she was late for lunch; the hall was empty.

It took her a long while to pick at the ham sandwich she'd picked up, taking it apart slowly and taking her time chewing each piece of bread or ham.

The more she ate, the worse she felt. The nausea had settled in her stomach, and she heard her mother's words. You should eat, sweetheart. It'll make you feel better. But all that did was make it worse, and after a while, she discarded the sandwich and laid her head on her folded arms as she sobbed quietly.

She didn't know how long she stayed there crying, but eventually, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

She looked around, and Ellen was stood there, a sad smile on her face. She took a seat with her food.

"It's… It's dinner?" Arianna stammered, her voice hoarse.

"Yeah. Have you been here the whole time?" Ellen asked, concerned. Arianna nodded, roughly wiping her eyes. "You miss them." It was a statement, but Arianna nodded anyway. "I'd say try and take your mind off it, but you were already doing that… And I think it's fair to say it doesn't work." She took a dainty bite of the dry-looking mashed potato and smiled. "Nice potato today. Not as dry as normal."

Arianna sighed.

"You should get something to eat. You didn't really finish your lunch by the looks." She indicated the desecrated sandwich. Arianna grimaced. "I know you probably don't feel hungry…"

"I feel sick." She corrected. Ellen nodded.

"You should still eat. Otherwise you'll make yourself really ill."

"I was okay this morning…" Arianna whispered sadly.

"The mornings are always the easiest. After you've slept away the pain of yesterday…" Ellen explained.

It was true. That morning, she'd felt refreshed, rejuvenated… Now, her heart felt like a dead weight in her chest, a lump of coal thumping on her ribcage, leaving a black mark on her soul. She could only hope it wasn't permanent.

Arianna left the table before Ellen; she needed to be alone.

That wasn't strictly true. What she needed was to be with her parents… She needed them to remember her, to hug her, tell her everything would be fine… Tell her they loved her.

She couldn't stop the tears; she didn't even try. They poured down her cheeks like hot waterfalls, searing across her skin, reflecting her memories… Their last day. They'd been so happy.

Knowing that it was just a last blessing hurt more than she could bear. They'd been normal, completely and utterly happy; as they had been before Iris. But she'd been so busy worrying about the bad feeling she had, she hadn't realised; she hadn't savoured it.

She found herself out in the wild areas of the Academy gardens, among the trees and grass. The wind whistled through the leaves, and she let herself collapse against a tree, hugging her knees tightly as she cried in solitude.

Knowing she was alone out in the wood made things neither better, nor worse. But it did allow her to cry without fear of interruption. Nobody would come across her by accident. The evening had turned the air cool and the sun had hidden behind the clouds. Nobody would disturb her, or try to comfort her.

Ellen understood. She didn't try to tell her it would be okay, because she knew that was a lie. She didn't force Arianna into her company, knowing that would never help. She kept to herself, and left Arianna to her own thoughts, understanding that she needed to work through them in her own way.

Maybe some of the others left in the school would understand as well; some had made the a similar decision as Ellen after all. Many were staying because they'd earned too many demerits, and had been given what could be considered a second version of the Choice: stay at school for extra lessons, or forget. And some just stayed because they wanted to or their parents couldn't have them. It was impossible to tell the difference, but Arianna was sure none of them were in her situation.

She realised of course that those students that stayed because of making the Choice had to give up their lives too… But it didn't help.

Those people couldn't fully understand, because their situations were different. Ellen had chosen to leave her old life behind. Arianna had had no choice.

If she had a choice now, she'd gladly endure the way they'd forget her every-so-often, if only they knew who she was… But if she had to choose between her parents and magic? That, she didn't know… But that would never happen.

A fresh wave of tears fell from her eyes, but she did not wail. She did not sob. She was silent, despite her solitude.

The next thing she knew, she was being shaken. Opening her eyes, blearily, she looked up.

Ellen was shaking her, a concerned frown set into her face. She was in her pyjamas… Behind her stood Hieronymous Grabiner, his arms folded.

"Muh? Ellen?" Arianna muttered groggily.

"It is unwise to sleep outside at night, even if it is summer. Despite the temperature in the day, it is still cold at night." Hieronymous explained. Arianna frowned.

"Night?" she looked around, and suddenly noticed how dark it was… She had fallen asleep. That was why she wasn't feeling so emotional. In fact, she felt quite numb.

"I was worried when you didn't come back to the room…" Ellen explained. "I looked all over the school, but you weren't there."

"So she came to me." He seemed irritated by the fact. "It was simple enough to find you by casting Farspeak." He did not explain how that made it simple… "I noticed you did not open the connection, so I assumed we would find you in such a state as you were in."

Arianna grimaced.

"S-sorry for the trouble… I didn't realise…"

"Clearly. Hurry up now, it's past curfew. If you dawdle, I shall have to assign demerits."

Arianna frowned. She had assumed she would receive demerits straight off the bat… Nevertheless, she quickly rose to her feet, shivering a little as she did. It was chilly. Ellen hurried her into the school and Professor Grabiner bid them farewell.

"I shan't be so lenient next time." If either of the girls had been paying any attention to his facial expressions, they would have seen the concern in his eyes. But they didn't notice, saying a quick goodbye and hurrying away towards their dorm room.

Arianna didn't sleep.

After a while, she sat up and let her head fall into her hands. Glancing over at Ellen's bed quickly, she muttered the incantation for light. A small orb of blue light floated in her palm and she guided it to hover just in front of her head, pulling out her diary.

Sunday June 1st 2014

Dear Diary,

Technically, it's Monday… It's 3:47 and I can't sleep at all.

That's probably because I ended up taking a nap out in the wood near campus. I was upset, I couldn't stop crying. I wanted to be alone. That seemed like the best place. Ellen got worried because she couldn't find me, so she went to ask Hieronymous for help. He seemed annoyed.

I don't really know when they found me… It was way past curfew. For some reason, he didn't give me any demerits. I'm glad, but a bit confused.

I need to stop thinking about my parents. It hurts to remember them. It hurts to think I'll never get another letter from them.

Professor Potsdam will have removed everything to do with me now. There's a box in my storage room with a bunch of photos and letters in it… I don't know if I can open that yet.

Maybe I never will.

She closed the book and put out her light with a sigh.

She still didn't sleep.

Grabby's being nice? :P

Don't forget to let me know what you think xxx