A/N: Thanks for the reviews! It means a lot to me. By the way, check my profile for some updates on how this story is going to run, when it's going to be finished, etc.

Well, enjoy this chapter, with some JS! :)

Disclaimer: Don't own Mediator. Meg Cabot does.

This Is Now, For Now

Chapter Five

"You know, out of all the stupid things you've done in your life, Paul Slater, I'd have to say that sounds the dumbest."

Hey, I said it in the nicest possible way I could. Because, seriously. If you're worst enemy came up to you and said he brought the murder-crazy ex-girlfriend of your ex-boyfriend back to life, you'd be pretty freaked.

Paul finally removed his hands from my shoulders and rubbed them over his eyes instead. "I know, I know," he said. Remorse was dripping from his voice.

"How the hell did you manage to do that?" I asked in disbelief. The last time I had checked, there was no plausible way to rescue a damned soul from the underworld. If it were possible, I'd assume we'd have a lot more evil, cynical ghosts running around the world.

"Promise you won't be mad at me?" Paul's icy blue gaze bore into mine. He was trying to convince me, trying to find a way to avoid my wrath. Even though I didn't have an exact reason to be mad at him right now, I knew I would be angry by the end anyway.

I held my hands up in surrender. "Fine, fine. I said fine, Paul. I'll just listen, okay?" My wide green eyes hopefully looked completely innocent.

He sighed once, exasperated and loud. "Okay. Well," he gave me one long look, "it's quite a lengthy story."

"Paul," I started warningly, "tell me the story now or I will strangle you with my bare hands, no restrictions." Seriously. Hell, even murder-loving Josefina could do it for all I cared at the moment.

"Okay! Jeez, Simon. Chill out." Paul took a deep breath and ran a hand through his curly brown hair. "Remember back when Jesse was exorcized and you went up into the shadowland to rescue him?"

I nodded my head. How could I forget? It was the one pivotal moment in our relationship. Just a few days after, he kissed me. I often thought back on that moment in the few lonely months I had with my mind. Would I have done anything differently? If I knew how bad he would hurt me, would I still have kissed him?

Of course. I would never take it back.

"Anyway," Paul continued, "after, I was incredibly pissed. I mean, you two just left me up there with a bloody nose. I wanted to do something that would piss you off just as bad as you pissed me. I was still quite in lust with you back then, Suze."

He sighed, once again rubbing one hand over his face. I stayed still as a statue, just listening. "And then, I saw her. Maria de Silva. She just appeared up in the shadowland, along with some other lost souls banished to purgatory. I had known her from Jack, known she was an enemy of yours. And, I came up with the perfect way to get you back."

Terror seized my gut. "No," I whispered, but he continued to say what I knew he would confirm anyway.

"I grabbed Maria's hand and transported back to earth."

I was just about ready to burst out in fury at him. He brought Maria de Silva back to life? After we had finally banished her evil soul to hell, where I had hoped she'd spend the rest of eternity? All these years, it seemed, I'd lived in false security. I felt the protectful walls start to crumble before Paul explained the rest.

"She, of course, was only too eager to go after you two and kill you with her bare hands." Paul shuddered a little, as if remembering a terrible nightmare. "But I told her to stay. I told her that she couldn't go too soon. There'd be too many questions, and I told her she'd want to lure you two into thinking she really was banished to hell."

Paul shook his head a little. "I told her to roam earth for a little while longer, told her to bide her time. She agreed, saying she'd avoid mediators and shifters at all costs, keep herself alive."

"Oxymoron," I muttered, but he ignored me.

"Maria had kept herself on the down low for the past couple years. I hadn't heard from her, so after I had finally made… peace, with you, Suze, I just hoped some shifter caught her and exorcized her back to hell."

Paul shrugged. "Of course, that's what I believed. So, it came a surprise to me when six months ago, she showed up at my doorstep again."

Six months ago. The same time Jesse started to ignore me. Somehow, this didn't seem coincidental. Not in the least.

"She said she was fading." Paul put one hand to his forehead, as if fighting off a fever. "She said she needed a body. And I had to agree, Suze. She was unworldly, she could do something to me in my sleep if I didn't give her what she wanted."

I slightly nodded. This had to be a situation similar to the one Jesse was in.

"So… I chose a girl. She was suited to be Maria's body. So I just tossed the soul out and put Maria in. She was doing fine, getting along with the locals. The girl I picked wasn't very hard to impersonate. She barely had a brain. Maria fit in fine, and I saw her everyday, keeping her close to me, so she wouldn't do anything crazy."

Yeah. Because Maria de Silva in a body wasn't dangerous or life threatening to anyone in particular. Ahem, ahem.

"Turns out, she was a shifter, just like Jesse when he got into his body. And I feared this. Because she had out of this world powers. She had the potential to bring back the entire de Silva line."

And, suddenly, I knew where this was heading. Oh, I knew exactly where this was heading.

"And now," Paul said, finally lifting his gaze to mine for the first time in the conversation, "I find you with a member of the de Silva clan. You explain what she wants, and I explain my theory."

Damn Paul Slater. He played dirtier than a wet dog.

"Well," I began, "Josefina wants another chance at life. She wants to be alive again, so she wants me to do a soul transfer." So what if I left the part about Jesse out? It wasn't as if Paul had to know. He, like everyone else, knew Jesse went to medical school in New York at the beginning of last year. He certainly didn't need to know he was back.

"And what did you say?" Paul crossed his arms over his chest. I knew he was looking for me to be the obvious worst person in this situation. Au contraire, Paul Slater. Nothing's worse than bringing the living devil back from the dead.

"No, of course," I lied. "I'm not that dumb." Paul really didn't need to know what I was going to do. Hell, it'd be the worst thing to happen right now. I would find a way around. Josefina was already bugging me to death. One time in the middle of the night, I was probably going to blindly exorcise her and call it sleepwalking.

Paul gave me a skeptical look, but continued on anyway. "Listen, Suze. I think Maria's planning to bring the de Silvas back to life. I don't know why she picked Josefina first, or what type of revenge she's going for, but she's a shifter now, so she's equally matched with us."

"I'll be careful." I nodded and looked around. Josefina was, thankfully, still off by Betsy. They seemed to be talking animatedly – or, at least Josefina was. Betsey was standing by the lifeguard chair, leaning into the side, staring off into the ocean with a bored expression on her face.

I sighed and put my hands on my hips. "Just keep an eye on Maria, okay? Make sure she's not making any midnight trips to the spectral plane. I'll figure everything out soon enough."

He shrugged. "Fine. See you." And as he started walking back around the snack shack the way he came, and as I started heading over to Josefina, I remembered one important detail of the story Paul failed to mention.

"Hey, Paul!" I called, and he stopped in his tracks with a quizzical look on his tanned face. "Who's the girl Maria's soul is in?"

"Kelly Prescott," he called back, turned around, and walked off like everything was fine in the world, right when it was toppling down for me.

Damn Paul Slater to the fiery pits of hell.

What was he thinking putting Maria de Silva into Kelly Prescott's body? What was he thinking putting her there when my brother Brad had a major crush on her? And what was he thinking even when he knew that Maria knew Brad was my brother?

Finding out your mortal life was in danger for the past six months is kind of scary. Brad's been dating Kelly for that amount of time, and she's been over quite a lot. It was just like Paul said, though. I couldn't notice a difference, because Kelly barely had a personality. It probably was a snap for Maria to imitate.

Muttering to myself, I jammed my key into the lock of the house and turned. I entered the foyer, setting my keys down on the table by the door and heading towards the kitchen. That's, of course, when I found someone I didn't particularly want to see at the moment.

"Hey, David," I said, ruffling his hair. He had a major growth spurt in the past year, shooting up around five inches. His freckles had started to fade, but those springy red curls and glasses stayed.

"Hi Suze," he greeted, following me around like a little puppy as I made my way to the refrigerator. Orange juice seemed like a good idea at the time. "Why are you frowning?"

"I'm not frowning," I said, but purposefully twisted my features into a neutral stance anyway.

"That's good," David said, "because frowning can lead to early wrinkles, and I'm pretty sure you don't want that."

I turned around to face the kid. He looked hopeful, so I gave him a small smile and said, "Yeah. I definitely don't." David had cut back on the hardcore facts lately, finally learning what the term 'silence is golden' meant.

"Oh, and someone came to the door for you a couple minutes ago," David said. I reached into the refrigerator – it was probably CeeCee or Adam anyway – and poured a glass of orange juice. I had left the beach without so much of a word to them, just grabbing my bag, towel, and Josefina's hand and making my back to the house.

I had told Josefina to go to a nearby boardwalk and check out some prospects. Now that Paul Slater knew about her, it was safer to let her wander. I just made her promise not to tell anyone about the soul transference, and she was only too happy to oblige in return for freedom.

"Who?" I asked, but with a lack of enthusiasm as I took a drink.

"Jesse," he replied simply. I almost coughed up my orange juice. Why did Jesse want to see me? I had told him we were working on the body hunting, and Josefina spent every night in his motel room. Why had he shown up at my doorstep then?

"Did you send him away?" There was an undeniable pleading in my voice. I was in no mood to see Jesse, period. He had caused the heartbreak, and just when I numbed it, he was bringing it back full force again.

David shrugged. "I told him to come back later, but he insisted he stay and wait for you to get home. He's up in your room."

Of course. Ex-boyfriend shows up, and you show him straight to his ex-girlfriend's room. I was seriously questioning David's intelligence at the moment.

"Okay, fine. Thanks, David," I grumbled, leaving my glass in the kitchen sink and heading to my room. The plan? To kick Jesse out and tell him to never come back. Ever.

As I started towards my room, I could hear Spike's purrs from down the hall. No wonder what Jesse was doing in there. Rolling my eyes, I turned the doorknob to my room…

And found it locked.

"Open the door, it's my own room!" I cried, pounding on the exterior. There was no response from the inside, only a clicking noise and the knob being released. I tried the door again and stepped inside my room, only to come face to face with Jesse de Silva.

"Susannah," he breathed, his dark eyes alight with something I couldn't read. He was wearing long pants, even though it had to be ninety degrees out, and a T-shirt that clung nicely to his abdominals. Not like I noticed.

And he was holding Spike. Surprise, surprise.

"Jesse," I said, drawing up to almost match his height. I was still about four inches shorter, even if I extended my spine, but it made me seem more confident, and not shaky like I felt on the inside.

He stepped aside so I could make my way into my own room. I stopped by my bed, tossed my beach bag and towel on it, and kicked my flip-flops off. Then I headed over to the window seat and sat on the far left. "Why are you here?" I asked him.

Jesse closed the door again, locked it, and sat down on the right side of the window seat. I was a little uncomfortable – seeing that I really, really wanted to hate him at the moment – and his close proximity had strange effects on me.

"Because I want to be," he answered simply, and, if I didn't know better, my face would have probably flushed. But, I did know better, and just stared at him with blank eyes.

"Jesse," I started, "cut the crap. You're here because of Josefina. You're not here because of me. If you were here because of me, you wouldn't have ignored me, or burned my letters, or – "

"You think I burned your letters?" He laughed a little, stroking Spike's orange fur some more. How I wished I could cut out that cat's vocal cords for good. "You honestly think that?"

"Well, you certainly didn't read them, or bothered to reply," I snapped.

He shook his head a little, that sad and solemn expression taking over his features once again. "Susannah," he said, "I wish I could tell you that I ignored you because I wanted to."

"Well, damn right – I… wait, what?" Jesse hadn't wanted to ignore me? Well, then, what the hell was his beef? He was mean, he broke my heart, and now he tells me he didn't want to do it?

"If you're going to use the excuse of schoolwork," I said, remaining completely composed, "you can just toss it and say you ignored me because you wanted to break my heart. You didn't love me anymore. Just say it, so that I'll know." My voice cracked on the last few words, and I was incapable of meeting his gaze any longer. I glanced down at the carpet.

I felt a warm touch on my hands and saw Jesse's big hand curling around my own two. "I couldn't say that because it would be so, so far from the truth. I don't like lying."

I finally glanced at him, and he was wearing a sad expression, the saddest I had ever seen on his face, sadder than the time he left for medical school. I wanted to trust what he said, I wanted to believe what he said was true. But I knew I couldn't, just like I couldn't believe all the false 'I love you's a year ago.

"Jesse, how could I believe anything you tell me now?" I cried, dangerously on the verge of tears. And, if you need reminding, I hate crying. "How can I believe what you say, when everything before was just a big lie? How could you expect me to believe it? How?"

"Please, Susannah," he said, and I noticed he wasn't calling me Suze anymore. "Please, you just need to put your trust in me. It could cost your life if I told you what I know, why I've been ignoring you, so please just trust me."

I had never really seen Jesse beg before, and a good reason for it, too. His voice was laced with desperation, a tone that I had never known before in his voice. He seemed close to breaking down, all confidence evaporated. It was scary, to know the one hard rock in your life was really nothing more than a marshmallow.

"I…" I started, but I really wasn't sure what I was going to say. It didn't matter anyway, because at that moment, Josefina decided to pop into my room, standing before us with a huge smile on her face. Jesse pulled back his hand immediately. Then she started to speak in a perky voice.

"Hey guys! Did I miss anything?"

Oh, Josefina, you missed more than you'd ever know.

A/N: Reviews are to me as Jesse is to Suze :)