Disclaimer - we don't own the beautiful supernatural!

A/N - Because the chapter 8 isn't as long I decided to post this one as well because I want to post all of the chapters Katie and I have written so far. We have another one at we've just written that I might post on Friday.

Em's P.O.V

Sam held my elbow guiding me to the safety of the car. I replayed the memories of me slaying vampires from a moment before. I'd killed people. Well not strictly human people but people non the less. Was I a murderer? Was I meant to be happy that I'd killed? I guess it was sort of like a scene from the fantasy books I read except I held more guilt than any character could. Who was I kidding, fictional characters couldn't feel anything they weren't real only people made up in someone's imagination. Things like vampires, hellhounds,demons shouldn't exist... I shouldn't exist.

Sam opened the car door for me and I got in. He smiled before gently closing the door and sitting in the front passenger seat. I noticed that my hands were shaking.

" Do you hear that?" Sam asked, turning around to look at me.

"Nnnnnnno wwwwwhat?" I stuttered. "Complete silence. There's no vampires. Nothing here to hurt you. You're safe." He smiled again and I realised what he meant. It was over. I had survived the brutal fight and nothing could hurt me.

"Tttttthank you Sssssam." I struggled before inhaling the cool air deeply.

Wiping my face with the back of my hand I banished the tears that had fallen and forbid the tears that were going to fall from leaking from my eyes. I bet I looked like a mess. I don't know why I reacted to killing soulless murderers like this. Why should I feel guilty? Damn! Why did I have to have a conscience? That little voice that nagged at the back of my head saying that I should react like this. That it was my fault that the two people who mattered the most on my life almost got killed. I rest my head against the cold, condensation dampened window in the car. Beads of water rolled down the window marring the magical quality that the forest represented.I saw belle storming towards us with an annoyed look upon her face. Dean followed closely behind her.

"Do you feel better?" Sam asked with a caring tone to his voice.

" Yes thank you," I replied.

Suddenly the car door swung open and Belle slid in next to me. She slammed the door and pulled on her seatbelt.

"Just who does your brother think he is?!" She raged to sam.

Sam's cheeks turned a sweet shade of pink in his embarrassment.

"Oh God what has he done now?" Sam put his head in his hands. I felt calmer now that Sam had reassured me so I decided it was my turn to reassure him.

" Hey, Sam?" I addressed him cautiously waiting for his reaction. "I-I- I understand that older siblings can be embarrassing but really don't worry about what your brother's said. Belle over reacts all the time."

Belle directed a glare at me making me feel like I was six again.

"I... ME?... OVER REACT!" The colour built up in her cheeks turning her normally pale skin bright red. I flinched as she directed her anger at me. Dean must have really pissed her off to make her react like this.

" SHOULD I JUST LEAVE NOW? YOU SEEM TO HAVE TAKEN TO THESE COMPLETE STRANGERS AND IF YOU FEEL SAFE THEN CLEARLY YOU DON'T NEED ME!" Belle shouted.

"Hey calm down! " Protested Sam.

I haven't seen her this bad in ages. I remember when it was just me and her when I was younger, she would steal our food for us. I never knew where she went so one time I followed her. She saw me as she ran out of the shop causing her to drop the stolen food. The security guards almost got her. That night she yelled at me like never before.

"Belle please that's not what I meant!" I started.

"Not what you meant? NOT WHAT YOU MEANT?! EM! YOU'RE SPEAKING TO OTHER PEOPLE. REAL LIFE PEOPLE! YOU NEVER DO THAT. YOU'RE USUALLY TOO WRAPPED UP IN MAKE BELIEVE. IN FICTION. YOU USUALLY ONLY TALK NONSENSE ABOUT DRAGONS AND WIZARDS AND GOD DAMN SHADOWHUNTERS WHATEVER THE HELL THEY ARE! YOU DONT HAVE A REAL LIFE!" Belle's breath pushed out of her in sharp bursts. Her rant. No it wasn't a rant. It was judgement. Her judgement of me made the tears spring to my eyes again.

"ENOUGH!" Sam shouted as he put an arm in between me and Belle. Dean got in the car. I could hear him talking but I couldn't focus on what the words actually were. I kept my eyes fixed on belle and she kept hers fixed on me. Suddenly I broke down in tears and she threw her arms around me.

"IIIIII'm sorry. Oh god I'm so sorry. " she stammered, realising what she had said. I sobbed into her shoulder," Why do I always ruin everything? I'm so sorry," she continued.

I held belle in my arms and sobbed into her shoulder. Her arms tightened around me as she whispered her apologies pver and over into my ear.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. The fight scared me, I could of lost you. Sorry. Sorry. So so sorry." she continued.

I felt a hard gaze fixed on us from Sam. Of course, Belle picked up on this, " Can I help you?" she spat.

"Sorry. I was just gonna ask if you two are okay?" I heard him turn in his seat and his gaze left us.

" We're spiffing actually. Bloody tremendous. " Belle retorted.

" Sammy, leave them to it. I've tried to talk to her but hey, she's either deaf or stubborn as hell," Dean muttered.

I look between the three people who were in the car. One my sister and the two others strangers. Anger built up inside of me as I realised that Belle was mad because of Dean and she'd turned me mad and Sam embarrassed. I turned to look at her, tears still streaming down my face.

"Belle. I'm not like you and I never will be. You always judge me because I'm younger and what do you usually say 'more geekier' than you. And you know what I enjoy being a geek because it's what makes me different! I'm tired of you always underestimating me. Sure I cried and was horrified that I'd killed someone... Well I suppose something but I've learnt from that and you can't always protect me! I see that sometimes you hate that I fell and got you lumbered with me. You take all the blame for it but it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't of fallen. So after this I'm going to get out of your hair and let you live like a normal 22 year old and not have me following you like a shadow too afraid of everything." Belle was speechless at my little outburst.

Belle slumped in the seat and Dean started to drive. She couldn't even look at me. I sat back and looked out of the window. Finally I stopped crying. Nobody spoke. I sighed. Had I ruined it? Being honest with myself, I'd be dead if Belle didn't look after me. And now I'd said I was leaving. Could I survive on my own? It can't be that hard. I noticed that belle was shaking. Her eyes were fixed to the floor.

" Belle? Are you okay?" I asked quietly. Dean shifted his mirror to look at her. "Arwh hell no" he muttered as he swerved the car into a lay by.

"Dean, what's going on?" Sam inquired.

"I've seen this before. I need to speak to her." Dean got out of the drivers side of the impala and opened the back door helping Belle into the cold, bitter air.

Belle's P.O.V.

Thought crashed around my brain. Colliding into each other making me have a headache. Em... My little sister... MY EM leaving. Abandoning me. Thinking that she was the reason the demons killed out parents. I wasn't paying attention to anyone or anything inside the car except for the rattling sound coming from the heaters and the fleeting trees that flew past outside of the window. Dean grabbed my elbow hauling me out of the backseat the icy air nipping at me. Assaulting the outside of me rather than the inside like Em had done.I lost my footing as he pulled me out of the impala, but Dean quickly supported me.

" I know what's going on in there," he said as he walked me over to a tree. I leant on it.

"In where?" I asked.

"Your head. You're scared she'll leave. "

I gasped. How did he know? " And now you're questioning how I knew, right?" Once again I gasped

" How? "

" I've been there. Sammy left me for college. I was alone."

I straightened up, determined not to let him catch me in my most vulnerable state. " You had your father," I pointed out ,"I have no one."

I glance at him and look down studying my black, leather boots with four buckles on each side of them. "Dean she's already left me once. I don't want a repeat of that again. I went to a dark place. I become nothing. Do you know that feeling the fee-"

Dean interrupted me, "The feeling that your life has no purpose. That you've lost the one person who will ever understand you. Your pillar of strength and hope?"

Shock laced my features, "I guess you have then." I felt guilty for judging him.

Dean's voice pierced my thoughts yet again, "Why did she leave before?"

Suddenly I felt sick. Did I want to tell him? Despite the lack of time I had spent with Dean, I already knew I could trust him. And believe me, I don't trust someone until I'm sure.

"Erm she, she, " I started.

Dean's arm wrapped around my shoulders.

"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready. I mean we've only just met." He murmured.

"No I need to get it off my chest. The pain of Em leaving doesn't just hurt to remember it haunts me." Dean's hand rubs circles on my shoulders. "It was when we'd hit a particularly low point. She was sick of me. And I don't blame her. I have this attitude with everyone, this spikeyness if you will. I don't mix. I don't fit in. "

Dean's hand made me feel safe. I turned to face him and he smiled. I felt comfortable enough to continue so I did. " I ruined every friendship she had because I didn't like them."

Yet again guilt was bubbling up inside of me stronger than ever like a volcano about to explode. I guess that's what I'm like anyway.

"Dean I'm like a volcano. Hurting and burning everything in my way. I destroy things. I'm a horrible person, but Em has always seen the good in everything and everyone despite our lives being awful and her seeing the grotesque things that happened on the streets. I suppose that her seeing the good in me was what made me try and fulfill what her imagination made of me. To try and be someone she could look up to. When she left I stopped trying all together. It was like she'd given up on me after she had desperately searched, trying to make me a better person. It was so long ago but I still remember the day she left..."

Dean's hand moved to my wrist and slowly to my hand. Normally I would of threatened to break his hand if he didn't move it but somehow it comforted me again.

" She couldn't take it anymore. Me being so awful to everyone we met. But I have my reasons. So one day she said she'd had enough. Packed her bags and left. "

Digging the memory up caused me pain. It made my heart physically ache, but telling Dean felt like a weight was slowly but surely being removed from my shoulders. I was getting released from my own personal hell.

"At first I thought she was doing it to be dramatic. To try and get a reaction out of me." I sniffed as the tears started to flow. "She wasn't Dean. She actually left me. Her partner in crime. I was who she relied on and she relied on me." I was full on crying by now. I bet my normally pose was was bright, red and blotchy.

" At least she came back." Dean tries to make me feel better but it makes me feel worse.

"That might not be the case Dean. Can't you see?! She's going to leave me again!"

Dean pulled me into a huge hug.

" Stop crying. I mean it, stop it. I know you're upset but if she sees you like this do you really think she'll wanna stay? "

I broke free from the hug and promptly stopped crying," You're right. But I can't go back to how I was. It'll kill me."

"That's right. Smile. She won't leave. And if she does she'll come back. She loves you just as much you love her. Have a little faith in her, tiger." Dean's deep, raspy voice reassures me. He tucks his finger underneath my chin pushing my face up to look into his eyes. He lifts his hands and wipes the tears off my cheeks clearing away the sadness.I smiled at him and it felt like a miracle. He smiled back and I brushed my hand against his.

"Thank you Dean. " I whispered.

Suddenly the proper me kicked in. What was I doing?! I'd just met him! I moved his hand but I still smiled at him, letting him know I was back to normal.