Chapter 11

Sherlock was sitting on the sofa reviewing an academic paper sent to him from one of his old uni professors. He was absent-mindedly stroking john's hair as John snuggled beside him reading a book.

Chemical physics was interesting stuff and so it was several minutes before Sherlock was alerted to something unusual occurring. The sensation of enchantment that he had experienced before in John's company could be felt again, but stronger now and this time, accompanied by a change in the light...

But that was impossible! Surely the light effect must be some sort of abnormality of Sherlock's own vision. He ran through a list of possible explanations; brain tumour, ocular migraine, seizure, stroke, anxiety attack…only to reject each, one by one.

So what was causing it then? He was a man of reason and science, not easily spooked by the unexplained, so he had no doubt that this phenomenon was real and not a figment of his imagination. Fascinated, he tried to analyse it. And the more he observed it the more certain he became that the light was actually emanating from John.

John had apparently noticed nothing. He continued to read the latest addition of the British Journal of Social Work unperturbed, engrossed in an article about case complexity and risk management.

In hindsight, Sherlock realized it was instinct that guided him to do what he did next. He gently stroked John's hair once more, in the same manner as he had done earlier, but this time he looked closely at John as he did so.

And there it was! Unmistakably; a small, perfect star, as luminescent as the finest opal, almost hidden, nestled in the soft skin behind John's left ear.

It was rare that Sherlock's mind went blank, completely blank. But it did on this evening; he was utterly stunned by what he was seeing. But even as his mind began rapidly to come back online, he remained still and silent. He needed to process this startling discovery…to think.

He would say nothing to John. Not ever. He would say nothing and that way perhaps everything would stay the same as it had until now. He would pretend that he had seen nothing and knew nothing about John that he hadn't known yesterday. Yes. That way Sherlock could avoid having his heart rent to pieces so completely as to never be whole again.

…

The next thing Sherlock became aware of was the carpet beneath his feet and the quiet creak of the loose floorboard in front of the fire place. He was pacing. John must have gone to bed hours ago. Sherlock vaguely remembered him saying goodnight and kissing the top of Sherlock's head as he rose from the sofa and left the room.

John. His beloved John. John who was no longer who Sherlock had thought he was. John was no typical Omega. John was a Gaia. Sherlock could hardly believe it though! John had said nothing and surely he would have if he'd known. Sherlock halted his pacing. It seemed incredible but it was possible that John didn't know of his special nature. But surely not! John was an adult; he'd been bonded for five years… Sherlock thought back to John's confidences about his life as a bond mate and realized that rather than dispute it, John's experiences confirmed it. Of course his Gaia nature had remained hidden from the violently abusive Harvey.

Sherlock's thoughts turned to the impact of his discovery and what it meant for himself and John. Once revealed as a Gaia, John would assume the highest social stature and could live a life of prestige and privilege. And, he could choose any mate he wanted, easily one of a higher social rank than Sherlock.

Gaia Omega were rare, about one in 10,000 and becoming increasingly rare as biology and society evolved to a more egalitarian order. They were biologically different from other Omega, although these differences were not well understood by medical scientists. It was not just their ability to induce pleasurable altered mental states in Alphas, sensations of peacefulness, happiness, optimism−a small demonstration of which Sherlock had already experienced−that set them apart, although this ability made them very desirable as mates; they exhibited a range of unique qualities. They were unusually fertile and extraordinarily nurturing and protective as mates and parents. They were often empathic with enhanced psychic abilities.

Gaia Omega were highly sensitive with greater needs for love and security in order to flourish and share their special gifts. Gaia characteristics emerged only when these unique Omega felt safe and valued. Sherlock had never seen one, but the bond mark of a secure and contented Gaia Omega was said to be very beautiful, similar to a gemstone in optical phenomenon; and a status symbol for their Alpha mate.

Sherlock thought back to his first meeting of John. No wonder John's bond mark had looked as sickly as it had in the hospital. Sherlock had never seen anything like it but in hindsight of course, it made sense. The bond marks of Gaia were obviously illustrative of their condition under any circumstances.

Sherlock, a student of the classics, particularly philosophy and science, was aware that in early centuries Gaia Omega had been revered as the favoured descendants of Gaia, creator the gods, the universe and life itself. It was believed that Gaia had gifted her favourite children with a star which they and their descendants would carry forever. And Sherlock should have guessed when he had noted John's beautiful eyes; deep blue like the heavens and brown like the earth… Gaia Omega were believed to have inherited some of the creative powers of the primordial mother herself.

Myths were vanishing into the past these days but were still relevant to understanding the origins of class and social order.

The more he thought about it, the more Sherlock was certain that John did not know of his special biology, probably no one did, certainly not his ex-husband. Sherlock grated his teeth; he hated the man more for what he had done to John now that he knew of John's unique sensitivity. And John's father likely never asked his youngest son about his biology either.

Sherlock sighed. His heart ached at the thought, but John must be informed of what Sherlock knew so he could take his rightful place in society. And no one deserved respect and privilege more than John.

The clock on the cooker said 6:30 am.

Sherlock moved to the living room to take up his violin. He began to play softly while watching a peach and rose-pink sunrise steal over the city. He had always had the sense that there was something more for him in the universe than his work, but he hadn't known where to look for it and so had given up hope of ever attaining it. He knew now it was love that he had been seeking, of course. And love had unexpectedly revealed itself in John and the intense joy of caring for, protecting and nurturing another. John was the difference between a world of deadening grey and a world of flowing colour. And now Sherlock had had a glimpse of colour he would always yearn for it. Yearn for John.

"Sherlock, what's wrong?" John's voice was anxious.

Sherlock mentally kicked himself. Was he that obvious? "John, sorry to wake you."

"It's alright. But what's happened?" John was sounding more worried by the moment.

Sherlock set the violin aside and took both of John's hands in his, guiding him to the sofa. And because he couldn't not, he kissed him and smiled.

"John, do you know that you have a Star of Gaia behind your left ear?"

"A what?" John looked blank and then said, "Oh! Um, no. Do I?"

"Yes, John. I'm certain you are a Gaia Omega."

John blinked, "Are you sure? I mean, if I was a Gaia, wouldn't I know that already?" He then looked thoughtful. "Well, perhaps not…I see what you mean. But it doesn't matter does it?"

"John." Sherlock said gently, "There is a whole world out there for you to take advantage of. Once your identity is known, you will be sought after as a mate and offered a life beyond anything you've ever dreamed of. Material comforts and social respect that you deserve John."

John had gone pale and silent. Perhaps he was surprised and no wonder, thought Sherlock, after the life he's had up until now…

"I see," he whispered, not looking at Sherlock.

Something was wrong somewhere…"John?"

John spoke in a rush, "Are you sure you don't want me, Sherlock? I know Gaia Omega are weak and needy and not suited to your lifestyle but I can adapt, I can be self-sufficient and a good partner. Please, I will do whatever you want if you let me stay with you…please!" He was looking at the floor and speaking in a whisper.

Sherlock recoiled in horror. "My God, John! Stop it, please stop it! I am not Harvey! Please don't speak to me like that!" Sherlock's emotions twisted and he raked his hands through his hair in frustration.

John flinched and went still and quiet. Sherlock could almost see him shrink into himself as though in another moment he would disappear completely. Oh God, he was making a terrible mess of this!

"John, please look at me." John didn't move, so Sherlock very slowly reached out a hand to his. "John, please."

John still didn't respond, so Sherlock talked anyway.

"John, I'm sorry I snapped at you. I'm upset because I felt I had to tell you something that… well, it may result in me being…perhaps…unhappy. I am not rejecting you; I'm trying to respect you by giving you all the information you need to make choices. I love you, so much John. And if I thought I could live with myself afterward, I would not have told you anything. I would try to keep you here and ignorant of your potential because I want you for myself, and believe me John, I am almost that selfish. But you need to know that I am not good enough for you, John. You can have so much more than I can offer you and I want you to know that."

There was a long silence between them before John finally spoke. "I thought I was the only insecure one here…" He looked at Sherlock with a faint smile on his face.

Then he said earnestly, "Sherlock, here, for the first time in my life, I feel happy, like I'm home. With you I feel secure; I can be myself and flourish. I can shine, Sherlock. So, I don't want whatever you are talking about. I only want you. I want us." He sighed, "And now, I'm just going to pretend that you didn't say any of what you said earlier, except for the I-love-you-John part."

He nudged against Sherlock, pulling Sherlock's arm around himself. "This is me making my choice Sherlock, alright?" His voice was muffled against Sherlock's chest.

Sherlock's arms tightened fiercely and he made a sound strangely like he was laughing and crying at the same time. "Yes, John. It's more than alright. Thank you."

They rested in a peaceful silence for some time before Sherlock remarked, "And by-the-way, you do shine; literally, John. It's quite extraordinary!" He paused thoughtfully a moment before saying, "I estimate your output level last evening at around 75 lumens; well, give or take five, allowing for fluctuating ambient light from external sources..."

John grinned.

...

Hi everyone, thank you for reading! Next update will be in August.