AN: Hi, yes I'm still alive, I can understand why you might think otherwise :/
So I wanted to use this summer to catch up on writing this story, but that didn't really pan out... With NaNoWriMo, a tonne of writer's block and various other personal issues, I have found it difficult to even figure out what is happening with this story, let alone to write it. But as I have said many many MANY times, I will never abandon this. It just sometimes takes me a long while to actually get a new chapter out... Sowwee!
Thursday 4th September 2014
Today I must swallow my pride. I realise now that I have been too caught up in my own need to protect myself that I have ignored the needs of those around me. Particularly Arianna.
She has been through ordeal after ordeal in the past year, and the only thing I have managed to accomplish is to give her more reasons to be melancholy. As her husband I promised to protect her, and I have been doing a poor job of it.
Fascinating how one sleepless night can make the truth apparent to a mind that has shunned it for so long.
To the matter at hand. I find myself petrified to cease writing, lest when I do stop, I lose grasp of the revelations I have come to and nothing is remedied. Days could pass, and I would have done nothing to ease my wife's burden. She has always tried to appear strong, I see that now. Perhaps that is my own fault. It is, after all, a skill I have cultivated over the years. One that she discovered early into our marriage.
Perhaps the strangest thing, and something I never believed I would think, write or feel, is that I miss her. I miss the mundane questions she might ask me over breakfast, or dinner. I miss her worriedly reminding me that I am simply wasting food if I read a book instead of eating (she seems to believe that this is a better way to approach making me eat that simply saying that I should eat something… Perhaps she has discovered something about me that I do not know, for it always seems to work).
Another of my observations is that she occupies a considerable space in my mind now. She has taken over a small portion of it, where once were stored thoughts of books and London and V…
Perhaps I cannot remedy the situation, but as they say… Better late than never.
With a shaky breath, Hieronymous put down his pen and stood, closing the leather-bound journal carefully and replacing it on the shelf. A quick look in the mirror assured him that at least he didn't look like he'd been awake all night; what sort of impression would that give the students?
Allowing himself no more time to put it off, he swept from the room. It was almost time for breakfast, if he hurried he could catch her before she left.
As he turned into the Horse Hall corridors, he noticed the gradual trickling of sleepy students making their way to the dining hall. A few of the more alert ones glanced his way briefly, but ignored him for the most part. He did hear at least one whisper of "is he going to see Arianna?" but he chose to ignore it. There were far more pressing matters at hand.
Nearing the room Arianna called home, he noticed the door opening. His heart jumped into his throat, but he calmed when he saw a mess of red curls emerge. Odd, Miss Danson is not ordinarily awake so promptly… he speculated. Her brow was furrowed in concern as she turned back to say something through the door, before spinning to run down the hall.
Straight into him.
It was a small miracle he managed to stay standing at the speed she had barrelled into him. However, he had soon righted himself and looked down. She had not been so lucky.
"Goddammit…" she grumbled as she pushed herself to her feet. "Watch where you're going next time, dumbass." He rolled his eyes as he waited for her to look up at him, at which point she froze for a split second in fear, before an unexpected wave of relief washed over her face. "Professor Grabiner, good timing!"
"Miss Danson?"
"It's Arianna. I was about to come and get either you or Potsdam, but since you're here…"
Hieronymous gulped. "What is wrong?" the image of calm he was trying to project was wavering, but thankfully Virginia was too caught up in panic to pay any attention, already making her way back to the room she shared with Arianna. He followed swiftly, thankful for his innate ability to part crowds with his presence since the hall was becoming crowded with students.
Virginia held the door open for him and he stepped inside to see Ellen sat on Arianna's bed, leaning over it. She sat up as she heard them enter.
"That was quick."
"Grabby's here to help." Hieronymous shot her a glare but moved past her to stand at Ellen's side. His heart sank at the sight of his wife.
She was shaking violently, her skin had gone pale and her eyes were darting around the room as though millions of people were gathered around her, staring at her. Her gaze settled on his for a moment and she let out an ear-piercing scream. He flinched.
"She keeps screaming at us too, don't take it personally." Virginia piped up from behind him, sounding distressed.
"What on earth is wrong with her?" he asked, though he had a feeling they'd been hoping he would know.
"No clue."
"W-well I think she might be… hallucinating." Ellen said nervously, the tell-tale tone of someone who fears they might be wrong. "I mean why else would she scream when she looks at us?"
Hieronymous could think of a fair few reasons she might scream at the sight of him, but he pushed them out of his mind for the moment, turning his attention to Arianna in concern.
"Arianna?" her eyes flew to his and she stared at him for a long moment. The fear in her eyes… He shrank back from her. He had never seen such fear in someone's eyes before. Even in his students'.
"N-no… no please…" she begged, tears brimming in her eyes. "I… I'm still… You can't… He… He wouldn't!"
"Ugh, she's not making any sense! She keeps saying that over and over…" Virginia grumbled.
"This is no time to get angry at her, Virginia…" Ellen tried to calm her. Hieronymous gulped, then cast a silent Farspeak spell.
Hieronymous? So odd to get a morning call from you. Petunia's voice chimed irritatingly in his mind. He tried not to scowl.
Petunia, I require your aid. Arianna is sick, and as you know green magic is not my forte.
Oh, how sweet of you to worry about your wife, Hieronymous! I'll be right there. She did in fact arrive just seconds after the connection was severed.
"Professor Potsdam!"
"Hello, seedlings. May I take a look at dear Arianna for a moment?" Ellen nodded mutely and stepped away from her friend to allow the peppy headmistress through. Holding her hand over her, Potsdam's hand glowed slightly. She didn't flinch when Arianna screamed at her.
"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! YOU CAN'T! HE WOULDN'T DO THAT TO ME!" For some reason, the words wrenched at Hieronymous' heart and made him feel sick.
"My dear, please hold still." Potsdam chimed worriedly as Arianna thrashed to get away from her.
"NO I WON'T HOLD STILL! If I hold still… you'll…" her voice faded slightly as she fell under Petunia's sleeping spell, and slumped to the bed.
"Much better." She cast a diagnostic spell and frowned.
"What is it?" Ellen piped up.
"Has she been in cold temperatures for a long period of time recently?"
"What? No. It's Fall, it's nowhere near cold enough." Virginia argued, irritated.
"She has." They three turned to Hieronymous in puzzlement. "Last night, I found her in the courtyard, shivering and delirious. It was raining…"
"That would explain it then… She appears to have an extreme case of hypothermia. Did you not dry her off when you got her inside, Hieronymous?"
"I… No." He hung his head.
"Dearie me… You must take better care of her, Hieronymous! You took a vow to protect her." She reminded him, a little too cheerfully, but then that was ordinary for Petunia Potsdam. "I will be back soon. Ellen? Virginia? You should go to breakfast, Hieronymous and I shall look after Arianna. Do try not to worry, ducklings. She'll be perfectly fine soon." And with that, she bustled out the door and down the hallway.
"Come on, Virginia." Ellen said, pulling on her friend's sleeve.
"But-"
"Come on." She dragged her out of the room, and closed the door. "I think he wants to be alone with her."
"Not in our room!" she cried.
"Virginia!" Ellen admonished her.
Meanwhile, Hieronymous had sat himself beside his young wife, noticing that she had been clutching onto something throughout the entire ordeal… His cloak. He gulped.
"This is my fault. I apologise…" he whispered, moving a piece of her hair away from her face. She felt too warm… "A fever, as well? Oh Arianna… Why on Earth were you out there in the first place, you foolish girl…?" His voice was soft, weakened by the state his wife was in, and the aggressive tone that so often accompanied him calling her foolish was gone, replaced by a quiet sadness. He had a feeling that she had been out there because of him. "I have been a fool, as well. I doubt you shall forgive me."
A moment later, Potsdam was back, with a mixture similar to that which she had given Hieronymous when he was ill, but slightly modified to combat Arianna's illness.
"I shall leave you to look after her, Hieronymous."
"Petunia, I have lessons to teach."
"Then I shall cancel them." She said brightly.
"But-"
"No need to thank me, I know you have to look after your wife, Hieronymous dear." She continued, ignoring him completely. "The students will surely understand."
"That isn't-"
"Hush now, make sure Arianna drinks that when she wakes up, which should be soon. See you later, Hieronymous!" and with that she was gone, the door swinging shut behind her.
"That damned woman…" Hieronymous muttered under his breath. Deciding to deal with that issue later, he turned back to Arianna. "Arianna." He called her name firmly. "Arianna, wake up. You've medicine to take." But his voice didn't reach her in her magically-induced sleep, and goodness knows he would rather not try to dispel one of Potsdam's Green Magic spells. That might end in disaster.
Even in her deep sleep, Arianna's face was twisting in pain and fear, and occasionally she would twitch or lash out at the air. Hieronymous found a cloth and cast a cooling spell on it, before placing it on her head in the hopes it might calm her fever.
Finally, her eyes fluttered slightly.
"Arianna?"
"Hm? GAH!" she leapt into a sitting position and scrambled away from him. "N-no… You can't…" There she went again. He held up his hands in surrender.
"Arianna, I'm not going to hurt you. You're sick, you need to drink this." He held out the small fluorescent bottle and tried to smile kindly, although it really wasn't his best skill.
"Why should I believe you!?" At least she seemed to be understanding what he was saying to her…
"Just, please." Carefully, he placed the vial on the bed and stood to back away. He felt like he was trying to talk to a lion, not his wife. This is ridiculous. His mind grumbled. And extremely degrading… After a long pause, Arianna reached cautiously towards the liquid, examining its contents suspiciously.
"Why should I trust you?" she asked him, "For all I know, this bottle contains poison!"
"Arianna, I'm your husband. Why would I do that to you?"
"Shut up! SHUT UP! HE WOULDN'T DO THAT TO ME! He… He wouldn't…"
"Arianna?"
"Get away from me you… you THING!" Hieronymous gritted his teeth is agitation. I did not wish to do this. Swiftly he snatched the bottle, and forced her mouth open, pouring the contents in. She tried not to swallow it, but after a lot of coughing and spluttering, the medicine began to enter her system. "UGH! What is that stuff?!"
"Medicine. It always tastes vile." Hieronymous answered her, calmly sitting across from her shaking body. He watched as the shaking slowly stopped, and her face relaxed as the hallucinations calmed. They were long, torturous minutes, in which he had to see the fear in her eyes for so long he thought he might never see her look at him without fear ever again. But, eventually, she frowned in confusion.
"H-hieronymous?"
"Hello, Arianna."
"H-how did you get here? Where's-?" she stopped, looking around the room, panicked for a moment. "Where is it?"
"Where is what?"
"The Manus…"
Maybe one of these days I'll stop torturing these two :/