Chapter Eight
Remus didn't bother using the cloak once he made it back into the common room. He probably looked like an idiot with the lopsided grin on his face. He couldn't stop thinking about who had put it there. What the hell had possessed him tonight? Today for that matter? Offering to break people into restricted parts of the school not really knowing what they were after. Taking liberties while under the invisibility cloak. Remus cringed a little. At first, he had been a little afraid to touch her, but he wasn't going to let her fall down the stairs. Little did he know she was going to trip so much. He suppressed a chuckle. Was she always so accident prone? Or was it just around him? Then there was the whole kissing her thing. That had not been planned at all. He still wasn't sure what had made him do that. Remus slipped into his room. Hopefully James and Sirius were still asleep.
"Why hello there Moony." Remus froze as the room lit up thanks to James' wand light.
"Whatcha got there Remus?" Sirius asked looking at the cloak over Remus' arm.
"I went out for a bit of a stroll. Hard to do this late at night without being caught if people can see you." Remus' cursed under his breath. They were not buying it. He had to suppress a groan when he saw the battered piece of parchment in Sirius's lap. They had most likely watched his every step since leaving the common room.
Sirius grinned seeing Remus' gaze. "This thing's as good as TV, I swear. Now to keep you from lying to us more, shall we recap your night? Let's see, you left at around one. Went in the direction of the Ravensclaw dorm where a one Miss Sophie Naldeg was pacing. From there the two of you travel to the library walking very close might I add." James was nodding in the background as Sirius continued his tale. "From the library where you are almost caught, you return to Ravensclaw door where you and Miss Naldeg separated then suddenly were very very close." Remus didn't try to defend himself. He was guilty of everything they were implying.
"Remus, what were you thinking?" James asked.
"I can only say I wasn't. Things have just been really crazy lately I guess." Remus winced at how lame that excuse sounded. He really had no business kissing Sophie. Sophie had never given him the slightest inkling that she wanted to be in the same room as him let alone kiss him. He had really screwed up this time. How was he going to get Sophie to stay in one place long enough for him to apologize?
"We might be a lot of things, but we don't cheat. Did you even give a thought to Gwen tonight?" Sirius asked. Remus went cold. Gwen. Not at one point had she crossed his mind. To be honest, he had probably seen more of Sophie this year than Gwen. Something had changed between them during summer. Remus felt himself mostly keeping up appearances than doing things out of real affection. He was the worst sort of cad wasn't he? "Look Remus, it's obvious that you haven't been yourself most of this year."
"Even with recent events you're still not as bad as Sirius." That earned James a glare.
"I feel horrible for all of this. I'm going to go have a talk with Gwen tomorrow. I've been meaning to have this conversation with her for a while now, I think. Sophie just…" Remus started.
"No." Sirius interrupted. Remus squelched what he was going to say next. "You are not making any decisions tonight. Wait until after that damned ball. Meet this damn mystery women of yours, get all this intrigue out of your system. Don't do anything until you're a little more like yourself. Now come on Moony, its late." The three friends settled into bed without saying another word to each other.
Waking up the next morning was difficult to say the least for Sophie. If she felt like she had slept at all during the night, she might have said she dreamed everything. At this moment, she wanted nothing more than to be asleep. Her brain had different plans. Her thoughts swirled around her, never pausing long enough for her to think anything but one thing. She screwed up. She should have never gone last night. Never should have gone with Remus last night.
Even before tonight, she felt like she was branded with a scarlet letter whenever Gwen looked at her. How was she going to face her now? Joseph and his network of spies probably already knew about it. "I bet he's plotting my down fall now." Sophie muttered. Gwen's wrath at what happened would be nothing compared to her father's apathy if not relief when he received Joseph's letter. She could see it now. Thrown from the house, burned from the family tree, ripped from her sister. Joseph coming to the overpass she would be living under and harassing her still. "I have been saving for years; maybe I'll be able to survive a summer. Finish my education." Something like this had been imminent in Sophie's mind. She hadn't been planning for it to be this soon or from this avenue.
The curtains ripped back revealing a disheveled Gwen. "Do you mind not talking to yourself so early? Some of us who care about our appearance don't need your mutterings to creep us out this early in the morning." Sophie nodded while resisting the urge to clutch her chest where the flamboyant letter should be embroidered. Gwen scoffed at Sophie's half-panicked expression before throwing the curtains back closed.
While waiting for her heartbeat to slow, Sophie thought about how unsuited for all this secret keeping she was. Her mother had let slip the big secret while her father was away on a business trip. Sophie had days to calm down enough to fake normalcy in front of her father. When she saw him next, she ended up tripping and stuttering. She was passing him in the hallway for Christ's sake! She didn't even need to talk to him. She had somehow managed to survive those interactions. That had been one person. At this point, she had lost count on who she had told what, who knew what.
Every time she talked to Remus as A Lady, there was this barely suppressed urge to tell him everything. It only got worse when she was talking to him as Sophie. Keeping up with the differences between Sophie and Lady was becoming impossible. She was having a hard time telling who she really was anymore. Sophie was acutely aware of her lack of social skills. Keeping up this many lies took social skills. There was a limit to how much she could take and she was about to go roaring past it.
"Gwen, hurry up! There's going to be nothing left at the breakfast table." One of Gwen's cronies' whined. Her complaint brought Sophie back into the present. If she was going to try to pull off this ball thing, she had a lot of work to do. The knowledge that she couldn't keep this façade up much longer left her with the conclusion that Remus and A Lady were going to need to drift apart. She still was going to go to the ball. She couldn't disappoint Remus by not. She wanted her Cinderella moment too much. Real Sophie was going to need to avoid him though—despite how well he kissed.
"No Sophie, that sort of thinking will not help you." She whispered. The only way she could be with Remus—really be with him, have him know her—was if she was willing to risk having to fend for herself for the next two years or so…
"Maybe I could?" she murmured. What she had saved away could cover tuition and enough to cover a couple of months rent maybe before she could get a job and work from there. Keeping Remus from finding out would be difficult, but not impossible. She would tell him of course, just not right away. Ease into it. Her father never liked her anyways so she was probably out of a home after graduation anyways. Remus had been nicer to her than almost anyone in her experience. He was nice to both of her. The thought of not seeing or speaking to him again made her heart twist. That was cringe worthy in its own right. Sophie was willing to take the risk. To keep knowing Remus, she was prepared to walk through fire. Hell, she was almost willing to do it just to kiss him again.
A scratching at the window caused her to jump. Throwing back the curtain, she saw Duchess glaring at her. Her heart, which had been racing, stopped. It had to be Remus, there was no way it couldn't be Remus. The question was who was he writing? Duchess screeched her annoyance at being kept waiting.
"Coming, Your Grace! I'm sorry for the delay" Sophie bowed as she opened the window. Duchess flew a few laps before landing on Sophie's outstretched arm. The owl was very careful when she landed on her servant's person. Sophie was convinced the owl actually still felt guilty about the time when Remus scared her into scratching her.
"What do you have here, my love?" Sophie cooed as the owl settled. The front did bare her name but it was not in Remus' bold, slanted script. The loopy calligraphy could only be that of her silly little sister Tessie. There were two letters from her enclosed.
My Dearest, Darling, Delightful sister,
It must be a surprise to get a letter from me using this owl. I was waiting for our lazy old bag of feathers to return so I could send the other missive, when this majestic creature arrived. I just had to return my letter with her. You must tell me her name for when I go to school with you next year so I can use her too. She is so charming! (Sophie shook her head. Thinking an owl was charming—definitely her sister.)I'll wrap up this portion so that I don't fluster or incontinence the beauty.
Your favorite and only littler sister,
Tessie
Sophie laughed. Her favorite sister indeed! She was the only thing that made summer bearable. Sophie and Tessie were different from their family. Sophie quiet and not really a Naldeg. Tessie a bundle of energy and singular personality. Both were not stately and refined beings that their older sisters were. Tessie had been dreaming for years to go to the same school as her older sister. Even for only one year, Tessie didn't care; she wanted to be with Sophie.
"Tessie."Sophie fell hard onto her bed. She couldn't do it. Tell Remus; get kicked out of her home. Handle what her father once he knew the truth. That was one of the scarier things. She didn't know what he would do. Keep her from Tessie, keep her from doing anything, nothing, she had no clue. If her father did nothing, what about her mother? Sophie couldn't do something that would jeopardize Tessie going to school with her, having Tessie ripped away from her. She could walk through fire for Remus; she couldn't put him in front of Tessie. A couple of months of joy he had given her just didn't stack up.
"Duchess dear, I'm going to have to be careful in how I play this." Tessie needed her more than Remus needed to know her real name. She could try to hold the façade longer. If it seemed like things were going to keep spiraling down, she was going to have to back away from Remus. Duchess eyed Sophie with a question in her steady eyes. "I'm still going to the ball, my love. We'll just be testing how good of a tightrope walker I am."
That Thursday found Sophie in her favorite room. Her disguise potion was taking a lot more of her time and effort than she had initially thought. Her delinquent streak continued as each night found her either skipping dinner to work or sneaking into the Potions Master's supply closet to get some of the more exotic ingredients necessary.
"Oh I hope this works." She lamented. The ball was tomorrow. If this didn't work, she was in trouble. Gwen, the rest of her roommates, and Joseph, had left for home already. A small miracle in Sophie's favor since she was supposedly going home too. Sophie wasn't worried about anyone noticing she was still here since all of the people that both knew her name or noticed she existed had already left.
"One or two more stirs should do it." Sophie muttered. The instructions had called for something else of course, but Sophie habits with potions couldn't be curtailed even with a potion as important as this one. The instructions said not to touch it for the last twenty-two hours of its brewing, but in similar potions, Sophie had found that extra stirs in alternating directions had helped with the duration of the potion. "These are the sorts of tricks that really show how much I play around with potions." She stated to the general air. The potion would be ready in time, which is what really mattered. She was more worried if she could pull off being her without being her. Even thinking about it gave her a mild headache.
Remembering the dress that The Room had provided her with made her smile. It was a marvelous creation of lace and embroidery. White vines splayed across the bodice and hem, rippling over the soft shimmering silver fabric as if they played in a gentle spring breeze. Sophie half balked when she first saw it, thinking there was no way she could wear something so eye-catching. The cut of the bodice also worried her. It was modest by today's standards—off the shoulder sleeves of delicate lace that ended before her elbows, a neckline that seemed slightly scooped that showed most of her collarbone but not much more. It was most certainly not up to Victorian standards of modesty and made Sophie nervous in general. It was a beautiful dress though. She couldn't very well tell The Room 'No I don't want that one give me a different one.' when it had already done so much for her. She would be able to adjust, as long as the potion affected both the dress and her. She would be one cursed awkward looking ghost if her dress didn't appear like the rest of her. Same to, with the demi-mask and vine jewelry that accompanied the dress.
"I really wish there was some way I could thank you." She said. "You have been very kind to me over the years." Turning her mind from her ever-mounting debt, she continued her stirring. She was fascinated by how this potion was going to work. Would she seem transparent or would she be able to pass through walls? Was the reason it was in the restricted section because it stripped a person's spirit from their body effectively killing you and making you a true ghost? Should she attempt to test it before using it?
All of these questions spun in her mind still as she ladled out some of the potion twenty odd hours later. "I must be crazy for doing this." She looked at the innocent looking clear liquid. "Well, there's nothing for it. Here we go!" she grimaced before drinking. The liquid tasted like nothing, it felt like nothing. She wasn't sure she was drinking anything. After a few moments, she opened her eyes and looked down at herself. The curls that feel around her face looked as black as ever. She almost screamed when she looked at her hand. The color was slowly leaching from it, starting with her fingertips. What was left was the same sort of blue grey tinge that you saw with normal ghosts. It took a full fifteen minutes before the potion had finished with all of her. Sophie was happy to see it treated the dress just like it had her. In all honesty, it actually added more color to it.
"Well I'm about ready to go to the ball Fairy God Room. Eeep." Her voice echoed and whispered as if she was in a tunnel, distorting it to the point that you couldn't tell it was her speaking. "Well isn't that fortuitous?" she said, having fun with her new voice. Fixing her mask in place and gathering her courage, she ventured from The Room.
Given all of her extra preparations—namely the potion—Sophie might have been considered more than fashionably late. The great hall seemed a crush of humanity. Being a school of magic, the costumes where of course elaborate, magnificent, and in some cases far too much, all at the same time. The goal of the evening being to appear as different from yourself as physically possible—though the students had a slightly different idea—the great hall had been completely redesigned itself. It looked like the grand ballroom of some castle. It even had a ceiling! It quit looked like something out of Jane Austen's world. People were even waltzing and dancing as they would. Sophie had the suspicion that had more to do with an enchanted dance floor than the students own talents.
"Okay Sophie old girl, you're here now. So what do you do?" she wasn't attracting as much attention as she thought she would. The dragon composed of three different students that actually breathed fire was a little more eye catching. Most likely people thought she was one of the many ghosts out to frolic on All Hollows Eve. No one liked the sensation of walking through a ghost, so everyone who did notice her gave her a wide berth. With so many people, she wasn't sure how she was going to find Remus. He surely wasn't going to be doing the finding.
"Might as well get something to drink while I look." She muttered. Headmaster had thought of everything it seemed. Near the refreshment table was a giant fishbowl filled with annoyed merefolk. While she didn't know names, she recognized a few as students. Students, who went a little overboard with their meremaid costumes. The tank served dual purpose. It allowed the students to breathe and still attend the ball. The large sunken castle looked interesting at least. A good number of students stood laughing at their wet, incarcerated friends. Sophie couldn't. She was playing with forces she didn't fully understand, just like they did. They at least already knew the consequences of their actions—she didn't.
A flash of dark red curls caught her eye. The only person she knew with hair like that was Grace Esperons. She only knew Grace because she was an intimate friend of Remus. She would know where Remus was. At least know how to find him. That meant talking to her. Sophie was not good at talking. "Oh man up Sophie! This I you're one night. You don't have time to be concerned about awkward interactions."
"I'm sorry did you say something? I didn't quite hear."Sophie whirled around to look at Grace. Looks like it wasn't up to her now.
"Actually, I was wondering if you know Remus Lupin." Sophie tried to speak up, aware that her echoed voice could be hard to understand. Hopefully, her ghostly complexion wouldn't give away how much she was blushing right now. Grace looked closely at Sophie. No doubt trying to figure out if she was supposed to know her. Sophie braced herself and continued. "I was wondering if you could point me in his direction? I'm suppose to meet him tonight but I can't seem to find him in this crush."Sophie cursed her shyness. Her family had many large functions; she should be used to this!
Grace was oblivious to Sophie's intense discomfort. Her very pretty face lit up in realization, her green eyes sparkling. "Oh! You must be Jane!" coming forward she hugged Sophie. "I am so sorry for my forwardness." She said, stepping back and blushing. "It's just, Remus and the rest of us were very much looking forward to meeting you and were staring to get a little worried if you were going to find us."
Sophie had no idea what to do with herself. "Jane?" was all she could come up with. Grace chuckled.
"Yes. You see Remus told me about your signature and I was the one to spill your little joke. Between me and him we called you Jane since we have no other name to call you and A Lady was a mouth full and a tad stuffy." Linking arms with Sophie, Grace carried them through the crowd. She only paused once when she felt the pressure from Sophie's arm catch on her own. A bold way to tell if Sophie was alive or dead. "I am sorry for my intense familiarity. They are forever scolding me for it—calling me mother and what not." Sophie ventured a guess as to who "they" were. "Remus has told me about you and I'm very excited to finally meet you myself. It was your lark name, by the way, that inspired Remus' attire and mine tonight—if he didn't tell you. I told him I would dress to match so he wouldn't be alone though truthfully I was excited at the idea. I'm an avid Jane Austen reader myself. Have you read anything by Elizabeth Gaskell? She is quite good as well. Wives and Daughters is very enthralling."
Sophie would be lying if she said that she heard anything that followed. Grace kept up the chatter for both of them. If Sophie had any social skills, she would have realized how nervous Grace was too. Sophie was grateful really. She had no idea what to say. She liked this strange person. Grace's costume was Victorian. The color of red wine and elegant in cut with simple cream accents that agreed well with her hair and complexion. The tastefulness of it all made Grace look even more beautiful.
"Oh good, they're right where I left them." Sophie looked where Grace indicated. Three men stood, all in garb to match the approaching ladies.
"I thought you said you dressed as you did to keep Remus from being lonely?" at least Remus was the only blonde one of the bunch. She had enough to worry about without having to worry which one she was talking to.
Grace laughed. "I did. Sirius and James joined in to tease me. Mostly I think they couldn't come up with anything else that wouldn't get them into serious trouble. I told them they had to be on their best behavior tonight. I'm sure they feel quite put out with that dragon." She confided, stopping them just in front of the group.
"Grace, we send you for drinks and you bring us back a ghost. Are you feeling okay?" Sophie recognized Sirius Black's voice. She shrank back a bit. He had actually met her before though they had not talked at different family functions. Grace, to Sophie's eternal gratitude, pressed closer to her.
"Don't be an idiot Padfoot. You can't touch a ghost and Grace is clearly touching this one's arm. See look right there." James piped up.
"Remus, James, Sirius, I have the extreme pleasure of introducing you to Jane. She is A Lady" Sophie tried to look up into Remus' eyes, but was finding it very difficult.
"Of course she's a lady Grace. Look how she's dressed." James said.
"Don't be an idiot Prongs. She's A Lady, Remus' pen pal, that lady?" Sirius and James glared at each other.
"Now behave yourselves. I swear you're just like brothers. Moreover, I'm stuck being you twos mother. Now let Remus and Jane talk." Grace left Sophie and linked arms with both grinning boys who had just finished a chorus of "Ay mother"'s
"Grace, since when did Jane get a name?" Sirius asked as Grace led them away.
"Um, Hi, Remus." Sophie said. "I, I was having some trouble finding you so when I realized who Grace was…" she stuttered. She let Remus fill in the gaps, too nervous to continue.
"I must say. When I said you could do anything to hide your identity, I didn't think you would go through this much trouble. I mean, I know you were fugitively dying to keep your secret. You didn't have to make it literal." In her current state, Sophie missed the sarcasm and jumped to apologize.
"No, it's nothing like that." She stumbled to say. "I'm not dead, I swear its, it's just a potion to give the appearance and and… I'm not dead! At least I don't think so. Grace did touch my arm and all when we walked over here. I didn't leave a body behind and I was didn't think it would do everything it has. The voice was a shock. And it wasn't meant to be an offense to you and I am sorry if it looks that way and now you're laughing at me!"Her ramblings were interrupted by that indignant cry. Remus had been just as nervous as Sophie and her contrite rant helped release some of that tension.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it how it came out. I was just surprised is all." He smiled at her stopping anything that Sophie was going to say. "You said you were brilliant with potions but I didn't expect you to be this good. Why, if Grace hadn't been touching your arm I would still believe you were a ghost. It solved all of my questions about you. I even had you dying in a potion explosion that killed you, but left your eyebrows. Now you are the one laughing at me!" Sophie was. It seemed Remus didn't hate her yet.
They lapsed into silence. Sophie cursing her lack of small talk the whole time.
"It seems Grace has given me a name." she attempted. Regret flowed through her at the pained look on Remus' features.
"Sorry about that. I don't gossip about you to all of my friends and she is trustworthy and… There you go laughing at me again!" Remus exclaimed at being interrupted by Sophie's giggles.
"It's fine. Truly it is," she said, happy to ease him. "I like her very much and don't mind you two talking about me. Since she has already taken to calling me as such, you might as well. A Lady makes me feel old anyways." Remus rewarded her with a smile.
"Then Jane you shall be until I find a better name for you." Sophie moved to stand next to him instead of in front. Their backs now towards a foreign window scene both wondering the same thing, when would that be? Having lapsed into yet another silence Sophie gazed out over the crowd. The costumes passed like a kaleidoscope across her vision. Sophie comprehended nothing. Too busy scouring her brain for some witty turn of phrase. Awkward pauses didn't seem so bad when they were in a letter!
"So are you anyone in particular from the Austen universe?" Remus asked.
"Ah, not that I was attempting. It seems I have ended up as Jane herself." The only real man from Jane's life that Remus could be had too macabre an ending for her to mention, so it was back to silence for the couple. Remus, wound up in thoughts of Sophie, couldn't realize she was in front of him. With all the twirling couples around them, out of the corner of his eye he kept thinking he saw Sophie. Which was ridiculous, she left to see her family. She wouldn't be here. What was he thinking? He was losing his mind. That was the only explanation. Nevertheless, how was he suppose to not think about her?
A/N: Oh I'm going to be evil and end it here! That's seven pages and I see no end to this episode in sight and I really want to give you people something. Ya so I can't say how sorry I am enough. See I was a senior last year in high school (never did learn grammar though) and now I'm a pre-med student in college. That equates to no life what so ever. I can barely sleep let alone do anything fun so I've really been dragging my feet on this whole writing thing. Truth be told this has been written for a while it just sat in a notebook because I've been too lazy to transfer it. I have like two more pages that will be in chapter nine written already so hopefully you'll get the end of the ball soon. Those of you who are still holding out hope that I do something with healing deep wounds. I FOUND A PLOT LINE! Yes so it's all fixed I have like four pages already re written (yes again another chapter one) but it's much better now and I have some place to go with it. So shout out to JustineXD for pming me and getting me to finally get off my lazy ass. She was very nice about it. There was one other person who pmed me also a LONG time ago and I thank you too but I have forgotten your name. So anyways see you in the next chapter sorry for the delay and I live for reviews! JaNE!