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Disclaimer: All hail the Queen Rowling.
"Why are you talking to ducks?"
These were the first words the most queer man Evan Zhang had ever met said upon walking, uninvited, through the door to their living room.
He was dressed in long blue robes, had a wizened face, thin fingers, and a large, hooked nose with a pair of round spectacles perched on it, and he was dwarf.
Or, at least, that was Evan's first thought, but he quickly realised the man was a bit too large to be a dwarf - he just very short, and currently very curious. Evan had inherited his father's small stature, but even a half-Chinese kid at eleven was taller than this man.
Evan felt rather offended. He'd been sitting at the family laptop, staring at his computer in complete and utter dejection, unable to get his program to work, and had finally decided to try the rubber duck thing - explaining his code to it, in the hope that it would be something so simple he could throw it against a wall in anger and fix it.
It wasn't working, and Evan had eventually brought in his backup duck to help out, and had been getting somewhere when he was rudely interrupted. At first, he'd thought it was a friend, but there was no way this man was a friend of his father. He must have come in through the general store downstairs, Evan decided.
"How did you get here? Isn't that door supposed to be locked?"
The man blinked, then seemed to collect himself. "I must apologise, that was rude of me, but I am a terribly curious person."
"I can see that. Go away." Evan replied shortly. He was going from offended to creeped out to slightly angry. It had been a long day. He'd been using a slow computer. Evan's temper was short and his tolerance for babbling mad men was wearing dangerously thin.
"I'm afraid I can't do that. I came here to deliver this, in person, and ascertain that you understand it." he said, handing Evan an envelope.
"Evan, you have shown clear signs of possessing magical ability, and we would like to invite you to study at Hogwarts."
"What?"
In the end, Evan almost declined going to Hogwarts. He had a planned career, and he certainly didn't want to go to a school where all electronics went haywire - programming was Evan's everything, his sole talent up until now, and he couldn't exactly just throw it away, but eventually his mother decided it was a necessity. Amelia Zhang was nothing if not strong-willed - she had decided on Evan's name and not backed down, and she decided on this. His father was less eager - he wanted Evan to pursue academics, but once he had been assured that Hogwarts had the best curriculum, he gave up arguing.
So that was it. Everything was gone. Or, at least, that was what he thought at first, but he wasn't backing down that easily, he decided as he stared up at the ceiling of his room that night. Humanity had defeated gravity and flown to the moon and harnessed electricity and even brought dead insects, and, on occasion, recently dead humans, back to life. Humans had learnt how to break the rules ever since they descended from the trees, and if they could do that, then Evan could certainly find a way to make electronics work properly around magic.
The effect could be shielded some way, had to be, and even if he couldn't do that, then why not just make magical electronics? There was a way. There had to be.
Gringotts was Evan's least favourite visit. He'd been excited to see a wizarding bank, but, it turned out, Gringotts wasn't like a muggle bank. It was just a system of vaults hold real, solid gold coins.
When they'd stepped in, the first thing Evan had noted was the luxury of it all - it was exactly how he'd imagined it. Marble floors, a huge golden chandelier, goblins weighing things and writing meticulous notes on either side.
They walked up to the counter, their heels clacking on the floor.
"I'd like to open an account for my son. Apparently Hogwarts subsidises schooling costs if necessary?" his father said, the second part much quieter than the first, with a slight hint of embarrassment.
The goblin stood on his tiptoes and glared down his considerable nose at them with beady eyes.
"Yes. Would you like to take advantage of that?" he said in a nasally voice.
He nodded, and the goblin wrote down a note, folded it up, and had an assistant to hurry it off.
"Right this way, sir."
He showed them into an office with a mahogany desk and bookshelves and marble walls. The carpet was thick and lush, like all bank carpets, and the goblin sitting in it, who introduced himself as Gornuk, seemed much more friendly than the one at the desk.
"So how do you make an investment?" Evan asked, ten minutes later.
The goblin gave Evan a strange look. "Goblin banks do not deal in shares or investments. If you wish to buy a share in a company, we will witness the signing and help in enforcing debt payment, if necessary, however we serve mainly as a holder of money."
Evan frowned. "How do you make money, then?"
The goblin coughed. "Well, we charge interest for storing money here, of course."
Evan looked blank. "What? But... but...but banks are supposed to give you interest!"
Gornuk's smile faltered a little. "As I said, we are not a muggle bank, and we are the only prestigious wizarding bank in the world. It is a way that has worked for centuries. If you have any issues, we have a suggestions box." he said, gesturing with utter condescension towards a box that was the only dusty thing in the room, full with bits of paper sticking out the slot, that clearly hadn't been opened and read through in a long time. Evan got the point. Something seemed odd to him, though - he was sure that he could spot some pretty obvious ways to exploit the exchange rate and overall economy if he tried. But he was probably getting the dumbed-down explanation, anyway...
"Is that all?" the Goblin asked.
"Yes. Oh, also, do wizards have an equivalent of internet banking?"
"No. Here is your vault key, you'll be needing this."
Evan stared down at the key in dismay, realising once again the utter stupidity to be found here.
Evan ended up nearly being late for the train by trying to figure out how the wall worked and testing the laptop at the station with no success, but he got on just in time and looked for a free compartment. He found one, and sat down happily. A girl asked to sit in there, and he agreed. She had long black hair tied in two pigtails, and turned out to be a first year like him. She spent the entire time babbling about how much she wanted to be in Hufflepuff, whatever that was.
Evan was tired and testy. He had dark circles under his eyes from staying up all night reading through the extra textbooks he'd bought to help with his plan, but he hadn't made any headway into solving what he was now referring to as the Problem. He'd been meaning to read or nap on the train, but the girl just carried on and on and on, wearing away at his nerves, and he quickly made an excuse to go to the toilet and found a new compartment with a couple of kids his age in it. One was reading a book, and the other was staring out of the window. Perfect.
He slid open the compartment door. "Could I sit in here? I really need a quiet place to read."
The girl looked up and smiled. She had fiery red hair, freckles and was wearing muggle clothing, like him.
"Sure!"
"Thank you." he said, sitting down and drawing the book he hadn't been able to finish last night. It was an ancient runes textbook, but it mainly explained theory rather than actual runes.
"You know that's a third year elective, right?" the boy commented after a while.
Evan looked up, and nodded. "Yes, but you can still read about it and do it in any year, right?"
"Well, yeah, I guess." he said with a shrug. "Most people just don't, is all. It's a really hard class, Ancient Runes."
Evan nodded again. "I get that feeling. I'm Evan Zhang, by the way." he said, shifting his glasses a little to look up at him.
"I'm Ben. Nice to meet you. So are you a muggleborn, then?"
"Yeah. You?"
"I'm from a wizarding family, so is Rose here."
Rose looked up at the mention of her name and said hello, and then they went back to reading and Ben stared out the window and occasionally made small talk.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door and a girl with curly black hair in a high ponytail and designer clothes poked her head through the door.
"Everywhere else is full of tight cliques who won't let anyone in without an initiation ritual, dorks, irritating idiots or crazy people. Can I sit here? Also, are any of you crazy?"
Evan sighed inwardly. It was another talkative person. He went back to his book and hoped she'd take the hint, but Rose smiled and nodded and she sat next to Ben, opposite him.
Everybody introduced themselves, and Evan found out that she was a muggleborn, like him, and addicted to technology, like him, but unfortunately more of a ditzy popular girl than a programmer, unlike him, which was a disappointment. Girls like that usually made fun of people like Evan, but surprisingly, they managed to find common ground.
"I just don't know how I'm going to survive here. I mean, it'd be great being a magical fashion designer and bringing this place out of the fashion dark ages, but I don't think I'll get anything done without Google."
Evan nodded. "It's crazy, right? I love programming, I wanted to work for Google one day, not be banned from the internet for nine months a year."
Olivia nodded. "I need my phone."
"I know. I think I might be able to make it work at Hogwarts." Evan said, then regretted it. It stretched the truth a little.
"How?" Olivia asked excitedly.
"Well... I'm not sure yet, but I've got a few ideas."
"Do you need money? I'll invest." she offered.
Of course, Evan thought. Designer clothes like that, the smartphone-sized lump in her pocket - she had to be rich. No normal person gave their eleven year old a smartphone.
"No thanks. But I'd like help researching, and casting spells."
She shrugged. "I'm not the smartest kid, but I'll help you all you want... on the condition that you help me with my plan. I want to find out how to make magical clothing. You help me, and I'll help you."
Evan nodded. "Deal."
"I'll help." Rose chimed in. "It sounds kind of fun."
"Great, it would be cool to have a person who's been raised in a wizarding family - then we'll have a better insight into the way other wizards think and how magic works."
"So it's a deal. The four of us against the world!" Olivia said excitedly.
"Four?" Ben asked.
"Well, yeah, I mean, there must be something you want." Olivia said. "A secret, an ambition..."
He sighed. "Wow, you are a Slytherin, aren't you? So maybe I do have something I want."
"What?" Evan asked. He wanted as many people on board as possible, and he wasn't passing up a chance.
"I'll join. But Olivia has to get into Slytherin house, or I'm not playing. My condition is simple: I want popularity. Power. I want to help people, to have rights for magical creatures. Deal?"
Olivia nodded. "Deal."
"What's Slytherin?" he asked. Ben quickly explained the house system to him, and Olivia broke in to ask how she was going to get into Slytherin house.
He smiled. "The sorting ceremony is a secret - I wouldn't want to spoil your surprise. But there's a rumour that if you ask for Slytherin, it'll be taken into consideration."
"Why would you want to go there? It's creepy!" Rose said, sounding horrified.
Ben sighed and facepalmed. Evan felt he was starting to understand the feud between the houses.
"Typical Weasley."
Evan's understanding was shredded. "What?"
"She's the daughter of Ron and Hermione Weasley. They were heroes in an anti-muggle rebellion led mainly by Slytherins. She's sort of pseudo-famous. They're both Gryffindors who hate Slytherins, so she's typically an anti-Slytherin person."
"But surely not all Slytherins -" Evan began.
"No, not all Slytherins. The war's over now, but some people hate the house.
"Sounds like a cool house to me." Olivia said with a grin.
In that moment, Evan knew how this was going to work. He was the brains, the core of the idea, but Olivia was going to be the face of this. Part of him was a little sad that he'd have to share his Order of Merlin, but he knew he needed a popular, social person. Ben would be the moral rudder, to keep them sane but also push them forward. Rose would give them publicity and the right appearance. He would go to Ravenclaw, Olivia to Hufflepuff, Ben and Rose to Gryffindor. Perfect.
The rest of the train ride passed in a blur of brainstorming and ideas, and then the lunch lady came, and the topic changed to wizarding and muggle sweets, and fashion and wizarding politics and government.
Before he knew it, they were all in their robes, and the train stopped. A massive man with a huge, bushy beard and a lantern was guiding the first year students out of the train and to the side of a massive lake, and suddenly Evan turned and saw the school.
Time stopped. Evan would always remember that moment. Soaring spires, huge towers, endless stone walls and windows, all radiating and overwhelming sense of true majesty, of massiveness almost beyond Evan's comprehension. Lights beamed out from every window, and made the huge lake sparkle. A sigh escaped his lips. It was all too perfect.
The giant man was shouting now, introducing himself as Hagrid and telling them to get into boats. He and Olivia shared and boat, and Evan stared around, looking for oars, but suddenly the boat began to drift along by itself, taking them across the lake and to the other side. A pair of massive double doors were opened by a stern-looking lady with hair tied up in a bun and long black robes, who introduced herself as Headmistress McGonagall. She led them into a massive entrance hall, lit by candles, with a huge staircase going off to one side and a big door.
"Stay here quietly and calmly." she ordered sharply, and disappeared through the door.
Evan waited, shifting nervously, wondering if the Hat that Ben had described would choose him for Ravenclaw or send him straight for another house, or just say that it had all been a mistake and he could go home back to his normal life. He was surprised to find that he was dismayed at the idea - every scientist and programmer needed a Great Problem to make a Great Answer to, and Evan had found his, as well as the first real friends he'd ever had. He wasn't too eager to relinquish that.
But would he be smart enough? Would he go to Ravenclaw, or just be shunted away, deemed not good enough? He took a deep breath and calmed down. He was getting almost as worried as Rose about this. He could do it. The Headmistress came back in and ordered them into the Great Hall.
The moment of truth had finally come.