Jim screwed his eyes tightly shut and inhaled deeply to try and keep the tremors that were now running forcefully through his body, to hopefully subside or at least lessen slightly. He tried to swallow down the thick lump that had formed in his throat, before opening his eyes slowly.
"What do we do?" He choked out in a voice that was far too weak and hoarse for his liking.
"Well, that's really more your decision than anyone else's, Jim." Bones replied softly, his eyes showing concern and sympathy, something that caused Jim to quickly look away and close his eyes again. He could take that kind of look from Spock, Uhura, anyone other than McCoy. He never wanted his friend to feel he had to tiptoe around him because of emotional fragility. That just wasn't McCoy's way of doing things.
"Right," Jim nodded sharply, after waiting to make sure his voice wasn't going to break when he spoke. His eyes boring holes into the structure that housed the person that all of Jim's pain had been centered around his entire life.
Jim had always dreamed that one day, by some act of God, his father would walk through the front door of their family home in Iowa, kick Frank out, kiss his mother and save him and Sam from the abuse and struggle they had endured. He was the only one Jim had believed would ever be able to make everything alright in his life. Now, though with Spock, McCoy, his crew, his ship, he thought he had moved past being angry over his father never being there, he thought that he was done mourning a man he had never met, he thought that he had grown out of wishing and hoping his dad would come back for him.
"I think I need a minute." Jim rasped his voice yet again weak and not in his control. He reluctantly tore his eyes away from the tube, he quickly made to leave the cargo bay. But, not making it far because, as he began to pass by Spock he was stopped by a firm but painless grip on his bicep.
"Jim-" Spock started.
"Not now, Spock." Jim looked over his shoulder at his First Officer with pleading eyes. They both felt anxiety, concern, love, and the overwhelming feeling of heartsickness flow through their bond.
Spock's grip lessened until Jim was able to pull free from his grasp and walk away. Spock turned to watch his Captain, best friend, and Th'y'la walk away, displaying a strong sense of control and confidence he knew, he did not feel.
"Well, Commander…"
"Yes, doctor." Spock responded, turning back to face the Chief Medical Officer and Chief Engineer.
"I think ideal thing to do right now, would be for me to take Mr. Kirk up to the Sickbay to check on his… functions." McCoy nodded towards the metal housing.
"Your logic is sound. Thank you, doctor." Spock nodded before turning on his heels to head towards the turbolift. At first his first thought was to seek out his bondmate and make sure of his welfare, but then thought better of it. Jim did not seem keen on being in the company of anyone at the moment, including Spock.
Entering the turbolift the Vulcan commanded it to the Bridge. He would give Jim time to process and gather himself. He would have later to comfort and hold his T'hy'la if that was what was needed.
Jim made it to his and Spock's shared quarters in record time. As soon as he was inside with the door tightly sealed behind him he began to pace back and forth throughout the living area, like a caged leopard just waiting to be let out.
How was he supposed to process this? The albatross that he had thought he had finally come to live with was now being tightened to the point to where he couldn't breathe and he was suffocating under its pressure. All this time, all this time and he was alive…
Jim scrambled to the bathroom before his stomach convulsed and caused him to ruin his uniform and the carpet floor.
After he was sure his body was done expelling the lunch he didn't eat, Jim slid to the floor, closing his eyes as he thunked his head against the wall, beginning to try to slow his heart rate by slowly inhaling and then exhaling. In through the nose, out through the mouth, he continued this for a few minutes all the while his body was still was vibrating with nerves, sickness, and complete and utter shock.
"Okay." He whispered to himself. "You can do this, Jim. It's just another glitch in another mission. It's just a missing man in a cryotube. A man that just so happens to be your long, lost father. No big deal."
Jim scrunched up his face as even to his own ears his words sounded like complete and utter bullshit. Rolling his head back and forth against the wall he thought about how in the hell he was going to deal with this. He thought about if he even could? He doubted there was a How to Deal with Meeting Your Supposed Dead Father for Dummies book laying around somewhere. "Fuck." He whooshed out a breath before pulling himself to his feet, only wobbling slightly.
Jim straightened his shirt and back as he made his way out his quarters and walked purposefully to the Bridge. He was Captain Kirk right now, he had left the little blonde, Iowan boy Jimmy Kirk sitting in the bathroom of his quarters to deal with later. Everyone he passed quickly moved out of his way as if he would bite them if they even looked at him wrong, and maybe he would have. That Romulan bastard had fucked with the wrong family, and if he had allies that knew about this, he would be sure that they knew their mistake.
As he walked onto the Bridge, Spock looked up at him from his Science Station with a look that only Jim knew held a great deal of concern behind it. Sulu nodded to him as he lifted himself out the chair and over to his pilot's seat.
Jim punched the link button as he flopped down in his captain's chair before snapping: "Kirk to Sickbay."
"Captain?"
"Dr. McCoy, I would like for you and Mr. Scott to meet me in briefing room at the end of Alpha shift."
"Okay. You alright, Jim?"
"Fine, Bones. Kirk out." He said sternly, cutting off the communication.
Everyone quickly turned back to their stations when Jim looked up from his gaze on the link. The atmosphere would tense throughout the rest of the shift, with Jim fighting waves of nausea as he thought of father being alive this whole time, but was kept from him, from his mom, from Sam all because of revenged crazed alien. That bastard had torn his father away from before he even got a chance to know him, he tore the only person in the universe Spock believed truly loved him, the only person to show him unconditional love, and that just pissed Jim off even more.
If Jim could he would go back and kill Nero another hundreds times over, he'd do worse than implode his ship with a blackhole. No, at the moment, what he was thinking would have anyone begging to torn to shreds by a hole in space and time.
Sensing his bondmates thoughts Spock stiffen at the absolutely morbid, and disturbing images Jim was entertaining.
"Mr. Chekov, Sulu, Spock, Uhura will you also accompany to the briefing room." Jim stated at the end of their shift, as he made his way off the Bridge, Spock and Uhura directly behind him.
Chekov and Sulu exchanged a confused look before allowing their relief to take over their stations. They made quick to catch up with the group, but were still the last to arrive at the Briefing room.
"Alright, you guys," Jim announced as they all took the preferred seats. Jim at the head of the table with Spock and McCoy on either side. Nyota and Sulu sitting beside one another with Scotty and Chekov across from them. "As you know, Mr. Scott made an interesting discovery while searching the Romulan ship we encountered two days ago. This discovery has become extremely personal for me, and as my Commanding Officers and friends, I would like you to know and understand the situation that has come up." Jim swallowed and stole himself a second before continuing. "A cryotube was found on board the Romulan ship, and the person that is being held inside the tube is… Is my father."
There was a gasp that was unmistakably from Uhura, as Sulu and Chekov yet again shared a look, but this time it being shock filled. "Jesus Christ." Sulu whispered.
"My thought's exactly." McCoy mumbled to himself.
Jim nodded mutely, "We don't know how or why this has happened, but I hope to find out soon."
"Jim," Nyota said softly, forgetting all professionalism. "What are you going to do about your father?"
Jim went to answer with a lie but looking into her dark, honest eyes caused him instead to snap his mouth shut and shake his head. "I don't know."
"Is it possible to wake him up without killing him?" Sulu asked, eyes on McCoy.
"It is possible, but only with the right equipment and care." McCoy leaned back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his eyes.
"You're assuming that the captain wants to wake him up." Uhura looked sharply at Sulu.
"I wasn't assuming, it was just a question."
"Well, it was an insensitive question."
"Guys, guys," Kirk injected. "It's fine, really. Let's not have a lovers quarrel right now, please? I don't think my head can take it." He sighed as he rest his head in his hands.
"Do you want to wake him, sir?"
This time it was the voice of the Russian Ensign that asked the question.
Jim looked up through his fingers at his young, brilliant navigator. "Yeah, Mr. Chekov, I think I do."
IMPORTANT! CHAPTERS HAVE BEEN UPDATED AND REVAMPED.
I have gone through and fixed and added things to the story, nothing to change the plot, I just wanted to go in and give it more... something. I have been posting these chapters as skeletons to see if I enjoyed the story or not. So, now that I have figured out more where this is going I'm going to be posting more in depth chapters, and will hopefully be updating more often.