Jim came trudging through the door of his and Spock's quarters after taking an hour to calm his mother down and explain to her what was happening. It had unfortunately turned into a cry fest, both from his mother and himself. Her reaction was heart wrenching in both the worst and best of ways. The way she laughed slightly, and the glint of hope in her eyes, as she still allowed tears to spill down her face was enough to give Jim all the motivation he needed to make sure he found the proper and best way to get his father back to his mother. Winona Kirk needed George Kirk, that had been obvious Jim's whole life, and now he had the ability to make that happen.
"Well, that could've gone worse." Jim announced, as he quickly walked over to the couch where Spock was currently sitting, a PADD in hand and eyes intently staring at the screen. Kirk flopped down and laid across Spock's lap expertly blocking his bondmates view of his work with his body.
"Ashaya," Spock all but sighed, looking down into the blue eyes of his captain. "Must you?"
"Yes," Jim leaned up and kissed Spock's lips before moving to straddle his hips, but not before plucking the PADD out of his bondmates hands and setting it on the end table. "I must."
Spock hummed, trying to prevent himself from allowing the corners of his lips to lift upwards. "How did your discussion with your mother turn out?" He began to smooth his hands down his captain's sides continuously as Jim tangled his fingers in the short hairs at the back of his neck.
"Exceptional." Came Jim's sarcastic responds.
Spock quirked an eyebrow. "Sarcasm?"
Jim laughed as he flopped down onto the couch, leaving his still booted feet in Spock's lap. "You could say that. I mean, all in all, it wasn't too bad. It's just, it hurts, ya know?"
And, Spock did know. He knew the utter agony of losing the one he cherished most in the universe. He understood the feeling of anger, and frustration. Confusion as to why this had to happen to his beloved. He knew the guilt of knowing so many things had gone unsaid between he and the one had lost. Of illogically wishing that he just had more time, wishing he had not been so blind. That it had not taken such a tragedy for him to come to understand the feelings he had for his captain. But, he also knew the feeling of hope that his beloved could possibly be restored to him, that he might be granted another chance. A chance to do over what he had done wrong, and do what he should have done from the beginning and love his T'hy'la the way he deserved. But, along with the hope and the possible chances came extreme anxiety and uncertainty, something Spock did not handle well, and did not handle well.
He continuously dealt with nightmares of Jim's death. His mothers death. The destruction of Vulcan. Everything he had ever wronged and lost. Everything he failed to save.
So, to say he understood how Jim's mother must be feeling was an understatement, but he also knew the differences between their situations. Spock fortunately only spent at most an hour or so truly believing his T'hy'la was lost to him forever, whereas Mrs. Kirk had to live with the pain of a lost loved one for over twenty five years.
"I believe I do know." Spock answered calmly, looking over into Jim's bright blue stare.
"You just had an internal dialogue moment."
Spock lifted a confused eyebrow as he had believed to have shielded his thoughts from his bondmate. He did not want Jim to know of the pain and guilt he still harbored from that hideous day.
"I can see it on your face." Jim stated with a shrug. "The focus of your eyes become distant, and I can practically see the gears turning in that pretty little head of yours."
"Ashaya, Dr. McCoy commed earlier this evening, seeking your presence in MedBay." Spock spoke as if Jim hadn't said anything.
Jim smirk at his bondmate, acknowledging Spock's obvious avoidance of what was turning into a conversation he apparently did not wish to have. "What'd he want?" He asked as he got up and walked to their bunk area, removing his command gold as he went.
"As I just stated, he wished for your presence in MedBay." Spock was becoming more exasperated with his captain by the minute, maybe even second.
"Right, right, sorry."
"Do you wish me accompany you, Jim?"
Turning and smiling at his bondmate for being so supportive, Jim walked over to where Spock still occupied the sofa and leant down to kiss him deeply. "I appreciate it, Spock," Jim whispered as he pulled away. "but, you don't have to."
"But, I wish to." Was whispered in reply before Spock leaned up to kiss Jim again.
"My god. I commed you like eight hours ago. What the hell took you so long!"
"I believe you may be confused, doctor. It has only been two hours and twelve point-"
"Alright, alright. I get it, Spock. Now sit down and shut up both of you." McCoy pointed to the two seats in front of his desk.
Spock narrowed his eyes slightly at the gruff doctor. He did not enjoy being ordered to do something by anyone other than Jim, especially doctor McCoy. Who Spock could not lie and say he disliked the man; actually it was quite the opposite. He respected McCoy's intelligence and talent immensely and he quite enjoyed their easy banter, but what caused Spock to feel somewhat annoyed by the doctors demand was that he immediately recognized this as not part of their usual back and forth routine.
"What's going on, Bones?"
"Well, Jim. I've checked over your dad several times and everything is turning out okay, so I guess my question is, is what you want to do now?"
Jim sat quietly for a few minutes, obviously thinking about his next steps. If he was honest with himself he was absolutely terrified to even begin thinking about waking his dad up. And, he knew that contradicted everything he had said to his mother, to himself, but it just was angst provoking. He hadn't even talked to Sam yet, but maybe his mother had? Maybe after they ended their call she immediately talked to Sam. Hopefully, because Jim really didn't want to talk to his brother about all this right now, because he just knew Sam would push and stress himself out over all of it.
"I don't know." Jim finally croaked out. "I haven't talked to Sam yet, and I just talked to my mom, and we just found him the other day and it's all happening so fast, and Bones I don't know if I can-"
"Woah, woah, woah." Bones held his hands up in the universal sign for slow down. Spock not caring about being in the presence of another, grabbed Jim's hand and intertwined their fingers, knowing his bondmate needed and saw the physical contact as comfort. "Jim, calm down and breathe. It's okay, buddy." Getting up and walking around to sit on the arm of Jim's chair (which was extremely uncomfortable) McCoy began to rub circles into his friends back.
And, let it be known that McCoy was the only person who could touch Jim without Spock growling like a feral beast, and trying to rip his arm off. That had happened once and he had put a stop it immediately. He was Jim's best friend dammit, and he wasn't gonna deal with predatory, possessives Vulcan's just because he patted Jim on the back. Hell no, that shit aint gonna fly.
"Jim, no one is coercing you into something you do not wish to do." Spock spoke softly.
McCoy nodded in agreement even though Jim wasn't looking at him, but the floor. "Exactly. Besides, even if we took him out the cryotube right this second, and began sequencing his body back into consciousness, it would probably take a couple weeks for him to wake up and be fully functional again."
"Really?" Jim looked up into his best friends eyes. "I mean, I guess, yeah that makes sense. God, I'm sorry. I just really…"
"I understand, Jim." Bones smiled back. "You need more time to process, I get it."
But, did Bones really get it? Jim thought. Could anyone really understand how he felt right now? For the last few days Jim has been battling all kinds of emotions and thoughts that he wouldn't ever think possible for someone to harbor because of one incident. But, then again, how many people deal with finding their thought to be dead father, frozen on ice and for all intents and purposes alive.
"Okay. Okay, then do it." Jim nodded and swallowed thickly.
"Right." McCoy walked back behind his desk, and pulled a PADD out from one of the drawers as he sat down. "There is one slight problem though."
"Problem?" Spock tilted his head in slight confusion. Hadn't the doctor just stated that everything was well, and he was prepared and able to begin the process of awakening Jim's father?
"Yes, Mr. Spock, a problem." Sarcasm and irritation plain as day in the doctors voice as he continued to look at the PADD in his hand. Spock looked over to Jim questioningly, gaining Jim just rolling his eyes and gesturing for Spock to just forget it. "Okay, so I think I have the sequencing right," McCoy finally looked up and handed the PADD over to Spock. "but, I would like to know for sure."
Jim leaned over Spock's shoulder and began to read the information displayed on the device. "How will we find out if it's right?"
"Well, that's where I thought you guys could come in. They have it on file at Headquarters. They did it with Khan, so they were obviously successful, but it's so far locked away in the database that there's no way for me to get to it."
"You are in need of someone with high level hacking abilities." Spock stated matter of factly, looking up at the doctor.
"Pretty much."
"I could try." Jim shrugged.
"Yeah, like that's a good idea. The guy that just got shot up with super blood, from a deranged homicidal maniac goes in to try and hack their system to gain the knowledge of how to awake said deranged homicidal maniac. No way."
"I agree with Doctor McCoy, Jim." Spock stated, ignoring the huff disbelief from the man behind the desk. "I think it would look very suspicious if you were to be found out. We cannot risk it. Most do not understand the effects Khan's blood has on your body, and they may make the wrong assumption on if you have become a danger like him. That being said Doctor McCoy," Spock turned his gaze to the medical man "I do not in fact have the hacking skills to successfully enter the system and gather the information needed."
The room went silent as all three men sat in contemplation. It was only a few minutes before Jim sat up straight and announced that he knew someone.
Getting the eyebrow of doom from both his best friend and bondmate, Jim promised himself he would learn how to do it too some day. It was so cool, and unfair that they could and he couldn't.
"Who Jim?" Spock asked.
"Selik."
IMPORTANT! CHAPTERS HAVE BEEN UPDATED AND REVAMPED.
I have gone through and fixed and added things to the story, nothing to change the plot, I just wanted to go in and give it more... something. I have been posting these chapters as skeletons to see if I enjoyed the story or not. So, now that I have figured out more where this is going I'm going to be posting more in depth chapters, and will hopefully be updating more often.