Bella's Point Of View

He didn't try to dazzle me. Not once. The entire conversation we shared in the pouring rain, his eyes were locked on mine but the sparkle in them had disappeared. I was no longer under the trawl of his superhuman force, luring me to him. Standing in front of me, he was nothing more than a man screaming his love to me over the rolling thunder. He was nothing more than human. It was fairly ironic how after everything that happened between us, I had turned into a zombie, and he into the lowest thing to his species... Mortal. It took me a long time, but I regained my humanity, he was still lost. He knew nothing else other than the loneliness that he felt before me, and the love he felt after me.

I hadn't realized how easily my body had given in, sinking into his body with heaving sobs that continued even in the comfort of his arms. My falling tears went unnoticed against his soaking t-shirt, as if they didn't exist at all. I offered him a nod of comfort, letting him know that I understood his words. I, was comforting the monster after he had killed me all those months before.

My feet were no longer against the ground, instead by body was held tightly against his as he lifted me up, taking me into the dry house. I was sure he could sense illness creeping up from the freezing raindrops. Once inside, his hands offered me a blanket which I accepted and wrapped around my body.

"You're shaking like a leaf..."

"It's cold..." I noticed a slight, guilty expression wash over his face, obviously directed at how closely he had held me to his body of ice. I hadn't even noticed... I wrapped the blanket tighter around my body in an effort to warm myself quicker, though the wetness from my soaked clothing only seeped through the new material against me, letting any chance of that happening escape.

"I can make you something to eat, perhaps a cup of tea?" His body moved before I responded, moving up the stairs and to the kitchen. I was far from hungry and I was not quite in the mood for tea. My hair was tangled, either clung to my face or dripping down my back. My clothing clung to my body in ways that made me more uncomfortable than he knew. My face was sticky from the mass amount of tears I let escape my eyes... that continued to escape. My body was making puddles against the Cullen's perfect floor, I didn't to drag that up the stairs. His body peeked from around the corner of the wall, realizing my presence was no longer with him. My eyes were focused on the paintings and forms of art scattered around the large opening. I had seen them all many times before, though not quite as clearly. They still looked brand new, as if I were seeing them for the first time.

"Bella, love..." My eyes tore from the painting they were studying, turning to meet his. He seemed much more content than he had been only moments ago. "Please?"

"I'm not hungry." It was hard to allow my body time to crave food when instead I was forcing it to continue producing tears. My throat burned from the heavy sobbing which in return made my voice raspy. "I should probably get back to Charlie, he doesn't know I'm gone."

I watched him come back down the stairs much slower than he had gone up them, his eyes not leaving mine once to watch where he was walking. A single nod displaying the hurt he continued to feel. Perhaps my similar nod outside had given him a false hope I had not anticipated. I understood his feelings, but... That didn't mean that I returned them.

"I could take you home, I-"

"It's better if I left alone... I don't think I can risk another moment of weakness." His eyes became understanding, realizing what had happened outside was nothing more than a reflex. I wasn't immune to him. Not yet. If given the chance, I would still collapse against him, I would still rely on him to hold me up when I couldn't stand. I had to pull away from that. "It's better if I was alone..."

His eyes pulled away from mine, looking to the same painting I had been focused on while he was upstairs - unable to look at me before turning and leaving the room without so much as a good-bye. My stomach filled with the same nausea I had felt when he had walked away from me the first time, new tears standing my already ruined face.

Unlike the first time, I was surrounded by things that reminded me of him. The paintings, the floor, the scent... I had to leave. My body tore outside, not stopping until I reached my truck part way down the driveway. I wasted no time with the seat belt, instead throwing the truck into drive before he had the chance to stop me a second time.

He didn't.

I cried a tear for every rain drop that fell on the town of Forks, not bothering to stop crying before I had gotten home. Charlie was pacing the front doorsteps, his hands on his hips as he watched my truck pull up beside his police cruiser in the drive way. It wasn't until now that I wished I had at least left a note for him, he was probably worried sick.

I climbed out of the truck, slamming the door more roughly than I should. I made it two steps before Charlie came to meet me, a worried look in his face. One I had expected. Instead of the lecture I guessed would follow, he placed a single hand on my left shoulder, squeezing gently. Charlie was comforting me...

I felt myself collapse to the gravel of the drive way, his body soon following mine as he knelt before me. Cradling me in his arms as I unleashed the tears I hid from him for six months. He rocked us back and forth, much as I assumed he had when I was a baby, I was still his baby...

"Be strong, kiddo..." I couldn't feel anything. Not my arms, my legs... there was no strength left in me. The force of his arms around me was the only thing keeping the breaths escaping my lips active through helpless sobs. He was the only thing keeping me alive, then and now. "I love you, Bells..."

I had avoided that word for too long, often going to bed before he could toss it casually my way, avoiding Renee's calls in the same ditch effort. I was amazed how much I missed hearing it, how easily it made my dark hell brighten. There was still love in my world, even if it wasn't as intense as I had once known it to be. There was still something left.

His lips found the healed cut in my head, placing a single kiss against it while his hand brushed the damp hair from my face. My forced breaths struggled to regain normalcy while I dried my tears with the sleeve of my soaked t-shirt. He helped, his fingers brushing away the wetness against my face that I had failed to remove.

Charlie was the first to regain composure and stand to his feet, offering me a smile and a hand. I placed mine in his, helping him lift me from the ground I had fallen to, returning his simple smile that meant the world to me at this point. There was still happiness...

"Why don't you get inside and get cleaned up? I'm going to run by the station to drop a few things off, but I'll be back with dinner." I nodded in response to his words, finding more comfort in them than I had in his arms. He would be back, I would be waiting.

I offered him a wave good-bye as he pulled out of the drive way in his cruiser before making my way inside. He had left the heat turned on, knowing fully well with my luck, I would come home less than dry. I appreciated the simple gesture as I made my way upstairs, peeling my dripping clothes from my body before I had managed my way to the bathroom. It felt good to free myself away from the binding material, to be able to breathe.

I spent more time than usual in the shower, perhaps an hour. The time went by slowly as always, but I knew if I kept myself occupied in the hot water long enough, Charlie would be home by the time I had finished. I dreaded being left home alone at this point, being left alone at all, really... I washed my hair twice, conditioning it just as many times before washing myself down with both brands of body wash we owned. My skin now smelt of cucumber melon and vanilla, a strange mixture. I made sure to do both tasks slowly enough to waste a half an hour, soon taking the time to shave my legs. I had run out of things to do, so my hand reached for the hot water and cranked it up more than usual. The burning water against my sore muscles felt amazing. I stood there, feeling amazing.

I heard a noise from downstairs, my hands turning the water off more eagerly than I had wanted to. My skin was flushed a bright red from the abuse of the hot water, but it went unnoticed to me as I quickly dried off, pulling on my red pajama bottoms and a simple blank tank top.

My body practically skipped out of the steaming bathroom, making my way downstairs.

"Charlie?"