So first of all I would like to say, that I changed my mind. Instead of one week, I'm uploading the endings (yes, plural) once done. (Which at this point since you are already reading this, it means they are up.) XD
Secondly, I will not declare which ending is the true ending. Some may say I'm cheating, but here's the thing, I really like both so as you all have your own preferences, I will let you choose your own ending. (Like it or not, I'm crazy like that) LOL
We all have voices - we all can make choices. I just really wanna put both endings out into the ff world :)
Unsurprisingly, only one person has chosen to have Mikan leave, so xNatsuMikanx this is for you, my friend ;)
And if you wanna read the happy ending first, then skip this and move to the next chapter ;)
xoxo Lexi1989
P.S. text in italics means it's a flashback.
CRIMSON ROSE
EPILOGUE 1: THE PROMISE OF ALWAYS
CONAN (TV SHOW)
Folks, it is with a broken heart that I start today's show with this devastating news. One of our guests in the past year, Crimson Rose, has passed away. If you can recall, she rose to fame through a viral video of her performing here in Los Angeles and she has also graced us with her angelic voice during her appearance on the show.
It was said her death was caused by a shooting though no details have been specified. She was brought to a hospital in Japan where she died due to cardiac arrest after surgical procedures were done to remove the bullet. There has been no details as to what she was doing in the Asia Pacific region and as of now, that is the only statement her manager Shiki Masachika has provided. Let us all give a moment of silence for her as she joins the choir of angels in heaven.
MIKAN
I stand alone on the grassy hilltop. My white skirt billowing in the wind. My eyes are fixed on the small group of people huddled together, wearing dark suits and black dresses. I am far from them but I can see their faces clearly. Almost everyone is teary eyed. All except one. His beautiful crimson eyes are dull and lifeless. But he doesn't shed a tear.
A group of men lower my coffin into the ground and I can hear their sobs being carried by the wind to me. They throw flowers and huddle together. Seeking comfort from each other. They stay like that for awhile.
"You're still at that point where you can choose. If you choose to stay, I won't stop you. Should you wish to come with me, all you need to do is walk into the light." My father, whom I had never met my whole life, was with me.
He told me my mom was waiting for me. But it would mean, I would have to die.
"You will leave everything behind, and the pain you are in now, will be gone."
I remembered the feeling of pain. I remembered the shock as the electricity flowed though my body with their attempt to revive me.
"You don't have much time, Mikan-chan." He stood up and I panicked.
"I don't know what to do dad."
"Only you can decide.. I cannot decide for you." He kisses me on the cheek and walks towards the light. He turns and holds out his hand, waiting for me.
I looked at my father.
I looked at the crying figures at the door. I knew it was selfish of me to think this, but having lived in pain and heartbreak, I had had enough of it. Living life as Crimson Rose taught me that I needed to love myself. To not let my happiness depend on others. I need to do this for myself and deep inside, something was pulling me towards the light. I couldn't live a lie anymore. Mikan Sakura was no more. She had died years ago. And I knew, this time, I had to go. Where I could be myself again.
"I'm sorry." I whispered. Tears fall from my eyes as I take a step towards my father and take his hand.
I embraced the warmth of the light and found myself in the arms of my mother and father.
"Okaerinasai, Mikan."
Raindrops fall and they I see them slowly walking away. But he remains, standing tall near my grave where a fresh gravestone was placed. His dark suit, slowly getting drenched from the rain.
"You know the rule, Mikan. This can only happen once." I look up to see my mother looking at me with understanding in her eyes. I nod and close my eyes.
When I open them, I am standing behind him. His shoulders are sagging. His walls were finally down. I walk up to him just a breath away. I know I'm not supposed to touch him.
~I'm sure I felt your warm breath on my shoulder~
~the breeze was playing with my mind~
"I'm sorry Natsume." I whispered from behind.
"You weren't supposed to leave me, Mikan." His voice was barely a whisper. But it cut through the silence and pierced through my heart.
"I had to go. I needed to be myself again. I couldn't live a lie anymore." I can feel the warm flow of tears escaping from my eyes.
He hung his head and said nothing. Lost in his own thoughts. He couldn't see nor hear me, but I knew he could feel me.
~I know we had to be apart~
~these thoughts are locked away inside my heart~
~I know you never meant to leave me here behind~
He is silent and brooding. The sun has set and the darkness is creeping its way towards us. My parents stood at the top of the hill. I know they know what I am thinking. I was breaking a rule, and I would pay for it. My dad turns his head away and my mom pretends not to see anything. I reach a hand out and caress his face.
~And I hoped to find you ~
~standing by my side forever~
~where we would have stayed ~
~for always~
His eyes adjust to my light, and I know i only have seconds to spare.
"I love you Natsume. Please forgive me."
His crimson eyes are wide with surprise. Seeing me standing in front of him.
"Promise me you will live a happy life for me. Smile. And you will see me soon. Promise."
"I promise."
He reaches out to hug me and I let him. And as quickly as I surfaced into this world, for one last time, with one last touch from the man I love, with one last promise, I disappear and leave in the dark of the night.
~My love for you has been torn apart, left me stranded~
~left me in the dark. ~
~Love that started out with open doors~
~has been put back into pause~
~My thoughts of you will keep me going strong~
~I think of you holding on~
~Just one more day I forever crave~
~Always~
50 YEARS IN THE FUTURE
I re-appeared at his bedside. He is 75 now. His raven hair is now winter white in color. His face seasoned and decorated with lines from all he has lived through. His voice weak and faltering but his mind still sharp. His words to his children, and his grandchildren can attest to that.
"Mikan. Smile. Remember what I told you about your namesake. Like her, you look ugly when you cry." He chides his firstborn who is in tears, cradling his grandchild in her arms. He knows why I am here. He looks at me with the aging version of his signature smirk. She gives him a sad smile, glancing at a time-weathered picture on his nightstand. It was a picture of me back then. Even in the face of death, he has it in him to tease me.
I had watched silently over him. Always in the sidelines, never to be seen, heard or felt. I shared his pain when he cried because he missed me or the time that my friends consoled him.
I rejoiced in his victories. Like the day he met his wife. The way she cried when he told her our story and accepted that he loved her in a different way. When he named his firstborn after me and told them all stories about me when they grew up. I watched over every little achievement in his life that attested to his promise to me.
Everytime he thought of me, I would know. And now, the time is near. I wait at his side where I always was, as I know the sand in his hourglass is almost depleted. He closes his eyes, and falls into a deep slumber with an eager smile in his face. His chest rises and falls for the last time.
I now see him standing at his bedside, with his back to me. His form back in the age when he saw me last. Silky raven hair, standing tall and proud in a dark suit. The only thing different from back then and now is evidenced when he turned around to face me. His crimson eyes, once dull and lifeless are now alive. And as he promised, he has a smile on his face.
He approaches me.
"I kept my promise." He reports.
"I know." I gave him a knowing look.
"You've been watching?" He is surprised.
"I've never left your side." I whispered.
"What do we do now?" He asks me.
"We go into the light." I take his hand and lead him to the light waiting for us.
"Will you stay with me now?" I can see the fear in his eyes and the tinge of uncertainty in his voice.
"Always."
THE END
T_T while writing this.
But still a sorta happy ending after 50 years :)
I hope you liked it xNatsuMikanx
I really couldn't end it in a very sad way.
The song mentioned in this chapter is "Always" sung by Bryony Alsop. (I do not claim ownership and just thought this goes well with the chapter.
You can watch it on youtube /watch?v=cIZbGWweD3Q
If you want the happy ending, I suggest you head on over to the next page!
I thank you guys once again for following me and this story. I have a lot more to come so stay tuned!
You can also check out my other works by clicking on my profile name ;)
This concludes Crimson Rose
xoxo Lexi1989