Let Me Love You

"Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it into a soul?"

-John Keats

Chapter Six: Pain

"How is the Lady Jane holding up? She's bedridden these days is she not?" Loki asked, amused at the corner he had his brother backed into. "Such a pity you won't do such a simple thing to save her. I wonder how it makes her feel."

"Loki, it is treason, such an act is madness – if the Aether doesn't kill her, then father will." Thor stated with a scowl etched onto his face, his fingers opening and closeing in frustration. "You claimed you could help her."

"And I can, if I'm given the time to do so. I cannot extend her lifespan to the time it would take to finish a vessel to hold the withdrawn energy. It isn't just crafting a container – it is the creation of a wholly new product able to draw out such an unstable power as well as hold it. It will be delicate, and cannot be done in an instant – even after the device is finished we must draw out the Aether slowly." Loki replied, smiling at his brother's attitude. "Come now Thor, did you think it would be simple? Even you know magic is not a cure all for every ill, every art takes time and skill for perfection."

"So I should waltz into the gardens and simply take a golden apple? Don't you think someone will notice? I lack your ability for stealth." Thor returned. "You are only providing false hope."

"I realize you are a complete oaf, but you do not lack my skills. I can cloak you even from here – if you can remain silent enough to slip in and out otherwise undetected. Even Heimdall cannot always catch that which I contain – otherwise he would already be here speaking of treason." Loki grinned as Thor let out a resigned sigh. "Good boy, meet me back here tonight and we'll discuss specific details – you can deliver a letter to Jane in the meanwhile. I am quite enjoying our conversations."

"Loki, what is it you hope to gain from this. I know that it is nothing philanthropic. Do you think that aiding Jane will get you freed from this cell?" Thor asked, Loki had thought the question would come sooner but he knew eventually his brother would ask.

"I think it goes far to show that I am not completely unreasonable. Besides, I would lose the only creature that seems to actually wish to speak with me other than mother if I let her die." Loki shrugged off the remark as if his aiding Jane were just a method to ward away the dullness of prison.

"I know there's more to it Loki," Thor retorted. "I will not make the mistake of simply leaving you in a cage if you hurt her."

"Yes, yes, I've heard the threats many times now. Do you think I have as soft a mind as yours that I'll forget them so swiftly?" Loki smiled back. "Learn a new tune brother, this song does get a bit old after a while. You are going to help save her are you not? Get to it, and remember not to give her more than a small slice of it each day blended with the other food. If she gets too much power at once then father will become wary. Now, if you would be so kind as to do your part – I can begin to build mine."

Thor was muttering again as he wandered off, Loki turned back to the tables of supplies. There was much he would need to accomplish.

To Jane Foster,

My apologies that it took me some time to pen this reply. I was rather put out by your less than ladylike commentary. I suppose to some degree I can forgive the overstepping as you were, by your own admission, delirious. I hope that you are holding on best you can, though I've heard you are now unable to reliably walk on your own. I've sent Thor on a mission to get materials for a potion that might help prolong your life long enough to finish the equipment and get the Aether free of your body. You'll need to make certain to take it every single day.

I realize you are curious about my family, and how I came to feel about them as I do – but our lives are very long Jane Foster. It would take far longer to explain our full history than these pieces of parchment would allow. I did nothing that Odin himself has not done in far worse, much crueler, using heavily destructive methods. I am far more benevolent than he will ever be. The blood that washes over him makes the deaths by my or Thor's hands a mere speck next to an ocean. Just know, that I am not as completely illogical as they would have you believe.

I have asked mother to help you with some basic focus exercises. Things that should hon your mind enough to also aid in the control of the Aether. Even if you can only offer small bursts that should aid in relieving some of the pain.

It was a pleasure to meet you, you were a delightful breeze in the stale air of this cell, as it stands to reason we will not see one another for a very long period I thought it best to continue this method of communicating. Should something change, or you are uncomfortable – please write me...even the smallest alteration could be a clue as to the infinity stones behavior.

-Loki Odinson

How could she barely walk and have to throw up this often? If Loki wanted her to keep something down to survive perhaps she was doomed to die. The feeling of nausea stuck with her even if she didn't eat anything she would just dry heave for twenty minutes at a time. Her whole body ached and there was a burning/stabbing sensation in her stomach from all the overtime it was putting in. She was a mess, and if this was what the next two months was going to be like – perhaps she would be better off just giving up and letting the Aether take her.

When Thor arrived with the supposed medicine she gulped it down, fully expecting it to bounce right back up. Still, anything that might give her even a small relief was something she was willing to try. Shockingly, not only did she keep the substance down, it was cooling the fire in her body. It didn't completely but it did let her form relax for the first time in hours. Leaning back on the bed she closed her eyes, the moment of her latest fit over being enough of a relief that she nearly dove straight into the comfort of unconsciousness.

Thor's hand on her cheek made her force her eyes open, and she smiled at him. Knowing she must look almost as horrible as she felt by the concerned expression on his face. "I...it helped. Thank you."

Thor held her small grip more tightly, his body tensing at the gesture. For a moment he'd thought Loki's concoction had poisoned her. Now however, there was just the smallest shade of color returning to her cheeks. He had been right that ambrosia would offer her relief...if Thor slowly turned her into an Asgardian then she would be able to survive until Loki could get the Aether free from her body.

"You shouldn't thank me." Thor said blankly. "It was Loki's magic that put together the potion."

It was a blow that his brother could aid Jane where he could not.

"Oh...can you give me something to write with, I'd like to do that while I'm feeling up to it." Jane said, her voice clearly grateful for having a few moments released from the torment. Thor could only nod – he wanted someone to understand his brother. To bring him out of the low that had kept him in such despicable behavior. Now that Loki had that he wasn't sure this was what he'd actually hoped for. He felt jealous of his brother's ability to help the lady he loved...when she began to write to him Thor excused himself. Walking to go and spar for a while – breaking a few bones would likely even out his thoughts.

To Loki Odinson -

Less than ladylike? I am a lady thank you very much, I'm just an honest one. I do have a lot of trouble getting around on my own, or even moving with help most of today. I would explain what's happening but I suppose that wouldn't be very proper for me to talk to you about it.

I do owe you a great many thanks for the potion that you sent with Thor – it was the only thing that's been able to get my body to stop falling apart for a while today. The only relief I've had for many hours, so I can't really stay mad. If it wasn't for you I'd be in horrible pain, or possibly dead already since it's probably only with your help I've stayed alive this long.

Have you already started making this device you need? Did Odin give you all the supplies you needed? I'd rather wait a week or two as opposed to a whole month. At the rate I'm degenerating I have to agree that I won't last that long. Is the potion you offered going to help with that? I noticed it tasted like apple – is that why you asked me the random question the other day about if I liked them or whatever it was? I really don't care if it tastes horrible as long as I don't have to feel on fire anymore.

It's not okay to blame your father for things you've done wrong just cause he's done them worse. If you really believe he's such a jerk, why are you using him as a role-model? Shouldn't you forge a better path than that? You are such a eloquent, charming, and sometimes kind individual – I know you like to hide your humanity beneath that whole trickster theme but I think it's still there. Thor can see it, though I guess these days he's pretty defensive of me so he's not looking like he was before. But I can see it, and I want you to get better. Not just fall back into the same habits. No one wants to be on the outside, and you don't have to be.

You're saving my life, and even if I don't make it, I know that it takes more than just manipulation to do a good thing. Even if there are other reasons, or you say it's just business – it's still a good thing. If you keep doing enough of those, it'll start to catch on and maybe after a while you'll stop having to push it off as something other than what it is.

I'm...very tired. I think I'm rambling again. I am going to try and rest while I still feel a little better – thank you again for your help Loki.

-Jane Foster

Loki tossed one of the vial's into a wall, sending various papers flying up into the air and letting them flutter around him. Glaring at the prototype in front of him as if it had caused him personal injury. His eyes narrowed at the guard staring from outside and he threw up a hand to cover the outer walls of his cell with a simple illusion of a white screen. This creation was proving to be more difficult than he expected. The design wasn't yet strong enough with the supplies he possessed – if they would stop being fools and give him access to other options for building he would already be ahead of his original time line. Right now he would soon fall behind.

"Loki, we've talked about how you cannot put up walls around your cell, you know Odin will not allow such a thing to stand." Frigga's voice greeted him and he rounded to find her standing as a pillar of calm compared to the storm of his own frustration.

"Odin. Yes, the claimed to be wise all-father, it's a wonder the realm hasn't risen up to slay him in his endless hubris." Loki snapped, voice curdled with hatred. "He cannot even come himself to give such ultimatums. I cannot build this woman a method by which to rescue her if the oh so wise King will not allow me better supplies with which to build it. She withers by the day and he sits decaying on his throne. I doubt he wishes to be friends with her as they age together. No, he's content to let her die because he doesn't wish to see Thor with a mortal!"

"You sound very invested in this." Frigga remarked, her head canting at the strength of emotion in Loki's voice. "Do you care about this mortal as well?"

"I care about my ability to accomplish this." Loki retorted. "If I save the mortal she still dies in a heartbeat for one of our kind. I wish to challenge myself, but not at the expense of destroying her short life even sooner. If she's not there to save when I'm finished then I have no way of knowing if my creation was a success."

"Is that why you have Thor feeding her ambrosia?" Frigga asked, causing him to smile despite himself. Lips extending to a grin as his mother leveled a serious look at him.

"I had to have her survive so I knew what I'm making works. You, Odin, Thor, none of you are any help – not one amongst the lot of you even considered the option. What is the point of having wonderful fruit that creates immortality if you never use it? I'm surprised if you know you are letting it go on." Loki replied, leave it to his mother to figure out the mischief they were up to. That or Thor in his guilt had told her. Sadly it was probably the later, for someone that claimed to love the woman he was doing little to actually keep her alive.

"I can't deny Thor the only woman he's ever loved." Frigga replied. "She is worthy in his eyes, and apparently yours. If my beloved sons agree that she is worth immortality then who am I to stand in the way?"

"Yes, you did always take the high road, but I imagine Odin won't be as altruistic when he discovers what's been done." Loki commented. "Regardless, she'll live, assuming I'm given the supplies I require to save her."

"I'll do what I can." Frigga stated. "But you will need to continue to work with what you have as I can make no promises. I will aid where possible but this is a realm of magic you seem to have outshone anyone else on Asgard with. Just be wary Loki, and attempt to approach with better caution, the infinity stones are incredibly dangerous."

"I am aware." Loki replied, glancing back at his table and considering the latest design and alterations he could make. His mother was right that he needed to sometimes take a step back, reassess, then attack.

To the 'lady' Jane Foster,

Feel free to describe your symptoms, as I am working in a makeshift capacity as your healer in this regard. The more I know the easier it is to consider what aspects to add to your potions as well how to better tweak the machine. Which is coming along less quickly than I had hoped as of yet but I've been recently inspired by a new idea which may help with the design necessary to remove the Aether at a rate slow enough not to further risk your health.

I am pleased to hear the recipe I gave to Thor is aiding you. I cannot say for certain how long it will help, but after a few days it should get you back on your feet for at least a while. You can enjoy the ironic beauty of Asgard without the need to be carried. Many mortals consider our world a heaven, I suppose by now you can recognize that such tales are of the make-believe variety.

You are retrieving your scientific nature again. So many questions, agreeably not about my history. I am, as already mentioned, working on the device. Odin has been a thorn in my side when it comes to needs, but mother is aiding where able. She would hate to see Thor's dear love fall to death, he would be beside himself with grief for at least a century. Yes, the reason I asked you what you thought of apples has a lot to do with the potions you are being given. If you'd like you can always ask Thor about the recipe and see how you do mixing it yourself.

Must you begin the chiding? Or can we get through a single one of these letters without your drivel about acceptance and family love? I need not justify my actions to you at all, regardless of Odin's own. I understand the effort I'm placing into your safe-keeping could be easily misunderstood, and if you choose to see me for something other than the monster I am then I can hardly argue with you. It's almost endearing, and given how much it annoys my brother to see you enjoying our exchange I will not be the first to cease the trade.

-Loki Odinson

End Chapter

Whew, this chapter went on so long that it was much longer than the others before I even realized what I was doing. I'd start on a piece and go 'okay so I'll just write this small part' then I'd say; 'no wait, I'll just begin the next piece so I know where it's going and can remember better'. Then before I knew it I'd finished the whole thing. Whoa!

-Aura

To my reviewers:

Thanks for the feedback, I am glad other people enjoy my madness! Quick question for readers; do you like or dislike the quotes at the starts of chapters? I like them myself but if everyone dislikes them then I might hold off on my next story.

Theresa. – he is a plotter...