SGC

"O'Neill?"

"Sir, there's a call for you from Patrick Jane."

Jack briefly closed his eyes. Great. On base. In the middle of an emergency. Teal'c on the run about to turn into a giant bug – not the best time to talk to Jane. And yet he couldn't bring himself to simply ignore the call, so he accepted it with a sigh.

"Hey Jane."

The line was silent for a moment.

"Hey." Another pause. "I'm probably interrupting some matter of national security -"

"Actually, Jane, you are. I'm sorry, this isn't a very good time."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't know how else to reach you."

"Listen, why don't I call you when this is over?"

"OK."

Jack wrote down the number Jane gave him and went back to his job.

~o0o~

"Patrick Jane?"

"Hey."

"Jack!"

"Yeah. I'm sorry it took me so long."

"Actually I was almost sure I'd never hear from you again. I mean, you made it pretty clear that you weren't interested, but I can't stop – God I can't believe how pathetic I'm sounding."

Jack drew a deep breath. "Been thinking about you, too."

"You – really?"

"Yeah. I felt good with you."

"Wait a minute, are you actually talking feelings?"

Jack smiled. "Looks like it."

"OK, so are you saying you might be interested after all?"

"Look, Jane, this is complicated. I really can't do it over the phone, OK?"

"I understand. Can I see you then?"

~o0o~

CBI

"So where are you going, for your holiday I mean?" Van Pelt still couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that Jane was taking some leave. He always worked!

"Some fishing in Minnesota."

"You're lying."

"You're good, how did you know?"

"I just don't think you're the type."

"Intuition. Sweet. Not exactly very professional, but very efficient sometimes."

She thought about that for a moment. Long enough for him to disappear.

"You do realize he didn't give you an answer." Cho fixed her with an almost smile. Huh. True. "Never get distracted in an interrogation, Van Pelt."

~o0o~

Jack's house, Colorado Springs

"So, what's so complicated you couldn't tell me over the phone? You like me – or not?"

"I do. What about you?"

Jane waited for a moment before he said: "You're so spot on my type that it's almost ridiculous."

Jack indicated his typically unruly hair. "What, you're into the gray?"

Jane smiled. "It's more like silver, and I wasn't talking about looks. Though yours are spectacular I have to admit. I was talking about – strong, proud, dangerous. Guys that scare me a little."

"Living on the edge, huh?"

When Jane just kept looking at him he turned serious. "Please don't tell me you're scared of me."

"I was at first. That was the first thing they told me about you – that you were a dangerous man. I knew what you were capable of, so of course I was scared."

"Yet you said you wanted the cuffs to come off."

"I was trying to earn your trust. Plus I wasn't alone with you back then."

"So when I came to see you and we were alone, you were scared?"

"Yes."

"Of what?"

"Of what might happen if I – upset you."

"That's the kind of man you thought I was? That I'd seriously consider doing you bodily harm for making a move on me?"

Jane shrugged. "I couldn't be sure how you'd react."

Jack made sure Jane was looking at him. "Patrick, even if I'd felt offended I would have told you so as politely as possible. I would never have hurt you."

Jane broke eye contact. "Not physically, I know that now. But you still hold the power to hurt me Jack."

Jack gently touched Jane's face, trying to get him to look at him again. When he did, Jack smiled. "Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. You said you couldn't – that you couldn't be with me. If that still stands, it's gonna hurt."

Jack's hand fell away.

"You afraid it might look bad if someone knew?"

"If anyone knew Jane, my career would be over."

"Oh."

"We could never go public as long as I'm in the service. But that's not what I'm concerned about."

Jane reached for Jack's hand and brushed his thumb over the back of it. "What is it then?"

Jack pulled his hand away and tried to ignore the hurt look on Jane's face. "I need a drink. Want one?"

He got up and poured himself a shot of whiskey. Jane shook his head, looking at him from where he was still seated on the couch. Jack downed his drink and refilled his glass. He was stalling, and they both knew it. Jane sat straighter. "Jack, please come back here and talk to me. I swear I'll respect any decision you make, but I need to know."

Jack sat down again. "You read my file. Did you get to the POW part?"

Jane swallowed. "Yes."

"So you're aware that they didn't exactly follow the Geneva Convention."

Jane swallowed again, biting back the bile in his throat. "They tortured you." His voice was hoarse, he was struggling to keep his composure.

"Yes. Well you know there are lots of ways to torture someone."

Jane prayed to a god he didn't believe in, that it wasn't what he thought it was. Apparently Jack just couldn't go on. Jane took his hands. "It's OK, Jack. You don't have to tell me."

"But you said you needed to know."

"I was wrong. I have no right to put you through this. Just relax, let it go. It's OK."

It worked. The tension left Jack's shoulders and face. Jane's voice was low, steady, soothing. His hypnosis voice. Jack's eyes closed. "I know what you're doing, Jane", he said, a slight smile on his face. "It won't work."

"I was afraid it wouldn't."

"What were you planning on doing? Getting into my subconscious and making me tell you?"

"No! Jesus, Jack, that's not what I was going for!"

Jack opened his eyes and looked at Jane. "I know. I'm sorry. Trying to get a rise out of you I guess."

"It did help you to relax though."

"But not because your hypnosis was working." Jack reached out and gently touched Jane's shoulder. "It helped because I trust you. I feel safe with you, and I want you to understand."

Jane kept his expression open, encouraging. He knew all he could do was wait, see if Jack would trust him enough. Jack withdrew from him completely, cutting off their contact, averting his gaze.

"Rape, Patrick. That's the only way I know how to say it. I don't think I can be with a guy ever again without having flash backs of Iraq. I can't give you what you want no matter how much I want it too, I just can't."

Jane's heart broke. His instinct told him to move into Jack, hold him, soothe him, but all of a sudden he was scared again. What if he triggered something Jack couldn't control? He slid off the couch and knelt at Jack's feet. Looking up at him he waited for Jack to meet his eye, patient, passive. When they finally locked eyes Jane breathed: "Tell me what to do."

Jack's eyes closed and his head sank to his chest. "I don't know."

Jane waited a little longer, but when it became obvious that Jack really didn't now what to do he got up and gently pulled Jack up with him. "Let's get you comfortable. Would the bedroom be okay?"

He was still scared, worried it might be the wrong thing to do, but he knew he needed, wanted to do something for Jack. Jack led him to his bedroom and sat down on the bed. Jane instinctively knew Jack had to feel in control, and Jack in control was fine with him. Actually he thought it was pretty hot. He was an AF colonel after all – and Jane liked that air of authority about him. He had never been into uniforms – until he'd seen Jack on the news, looking amazing. He felt himself respond to the memory. He lay down. Looking up at Jack he gave him a small smile."How about you touch me? Touch me any way you want, Jack."

Jack briefly closed his eyes. Too tempting. He looked at the man sprawled on his bed, lean frame, broad shoulders, his collar open and his sleeves rolled up, eyes sparkling with desire. Jane wanted him. Beautiful, brilliant, hot as they come Jane wanted his hands on him.

"OK. Roll over." Jack smiled at the lust spiking in Jane's eyes. "I'm thinking 'massage', Jane. Don't get your hopes up. Or anything else for that matter."

Smiling back at Jack Jane slipped his shirt over his head and obediently rolled onto his stomach. Jack let his hands wander, down Jane's spine and up again. Every now and then a small moan escaped Jane, muffled by the mattress but still gasoline to the fire that had started in Jack's groin the moment Jane had asked for his touch.

"See something you like?", Jane asked, his head turned to the side to be able to look at Jack.

"Oh yeah. You're gorgeous, Jane."

Jane sat up. "How about we see what we can do for you?"

Jack's eyes wandered over Jane's bare chest and shoulders, and it added to the throbbing ache in his jeans. Jane's gaze dropped to his crotch. Looking up at his face again he said: "Let's get you out of your shirt."

Jack smiled a little. "Be honest with me, Jane. It's not my shirt you want gone."

Jane blushed. "Am I that transparent?"

Jack's smile got wider. "Pretty much, yeah."

"Damn." After a moment he sobered. "I could start with your shirt."

"OK."

Jane undid the buttons and slid the shirt over Jack's shoulders, running his hands over his chest. He kissed his throat and collar bone, and Jack closed his eyes and exhaled. Working his way down over Jack's stomach Jane paused and looked up at his face to make sure he was OK with this. When he held his gaze Jane reached for Jack's belt, but Jack beat him to it and lay back, pants open. Jane went back to kissing his stomach again. He brushed his lips against Jack's cock through his briefs, and then he softly rubbed his cheek along Jack's length. "Want me to free you?"

Jack breathed a throaty 'yeah', eyes closed, chest heaving.

"OK", Jane smiled against Jack's cock, and the next thing Jack felt was his warm mouth closing around him. Pure bliss...it didn't take Jane much effort to bring him to the edge, and when he took him that extra bit deeper Jack lost it.

When he had his breathing under control again he asked, his eyes still closed: "How turned on are you, exactly?"

"Oh, about – rock hard."

That made him open his eyes. "From sucking me off?"

"Well, yeah."

"See, this is exactly what I was talking about. I got you all worked up and now I'm unable to return the favor."

"That's OK, Jack. I can take care of it myself."

"No it's not! That would so be my job."

Jane rose up from the bed. "Just give me a minute."

"Only a minute?" Jack's eyebrows rose.

"Uh, yeah. Don't think it'll be much more than that." He leaned in for a slow kiss. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

"Jane! You're not sneaking away to the bathroom to get yourself off after -"

"Look, I really need a little release here. I told you, it's fine. Not the first time I took things into my own hands, you know?"

Jack couldn't believe he actually had to laugh at that. He took his pants off and got in under the sheets. When Jane was back he joined him, his pants gone, but his boxers still in place, and spooned up against a sated, relaxed Jack. He realized it had been a bad idea the moment Jack's breathing changed.

"Crap, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

He backed off, but Jack reached out behind himself.

"Don't. Stay where you are. Please."

Jane complied, but it was obvious that Jack was uncomfortable, so he placed a small kiss against the back of his neck and said: "Why don't we switch?"

They both turned, Jack reaching out to stroke Jane's side. Jane moved into his touch and into his body and smiled. "Can you hold me, please?"

"Sure, c'mere". Jack's arm came around Jane's waist, his face buried in Jane's neck. "So, were you thinking of me?"

"Nah. I was thinking of Madonna."

Jack chuckled against Jane's neck. It sent shivers down his spine, and he let out a small moan, pushing back against Jack's body. "Of course I was thinking of you."

"What were you thinking?", Jack rasped right into Jane's ear.

"God Jack, don't get me started again!"

"OK, OK. I'll keep my mouth shut."

They lay still, their breathing calm, content to be close.

After a while Jack said: "Will you be able to sleep like this?"

"Uh, I'm not that great at the sleeping thing anyway."

"Why?"

"Let's not talk about it. I mean I know that I owe you after what you told me, but -"

"Hey, this not a competition, OK? You don't wanna talk about it, that's fine."

"I might just get up at some point and move to the couch so I don't keep you from sleeping as well."

"You sure?"

"Yep."

"OK..."