Hello everyone, I know it's been awhile since I've last updated but I've got some ideas I'm hoping to get to paper soon.
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." – Voltaire
Chapter Five
Months had past and I still felt strangely empty. I suppose now reflecting back on it finding out Emmett was alive and leaving Tyler all in the same week was a lot to do. Tyler of course has called but I've smoothly blown him off. I stayed in my new house painting and repainting the interior. I couldn't stand to leave things the way I had them. I'd repaint them a week after painting. I was always trying to keep busy, with my hands and my mind.
Weeks had gone by I hadn't heard from Tyler. I started to worry. I grabbed the phone and called him.
"Hey Tyler, it's Lorelai I hadn't heard from you in awhile and I was worried. Call me back when you get this… I'll be up late." I muttered and hung up the phone. I tossed the phone on the couch. I started to fidget in my seat. I started pacing around my house. I wasn't sure but something was off. My phone rang.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hey, I got your message." It was Tyler I smiled.
"Yeah…? How have you been?" I asked. I felt extremely lonely.
"I'm good… and you?" He asked more carefully, I'd been much different after my return home.
"Um, fine." I said slowly. He sighed. "Lorelai, when are you going to tell me what happened out there?" He asked.
"I'm not ready yet." I said, he knew me well.
"I'm worried… and now that you moved out I can't look out for you as much… I know you quit your job…" He said. I sighed.
"I've got more than enough money and if I need to I can easily get a job." I said, hoping we'd switch topics.
"That's not an accuse. You shouldn't cut yourself off from the outside world." He said.
"I feel like your running from something… running scared, you don't run scared." He said. I swallowed hard.
"What do you want from me? I'm trying." I said.
"You know that quote from John Donne?"He asked.
"I can't say I do." I admitted after racking my brains. There was a slight pause on his end.
"Well, it goes like this, Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee." He said. I sighed.
"I'm fine." I said with a biting edge to my words.
"No your not… you're dying… your personality is slowing fading out of you…" He said.
"Tyler… I just called to make sure you were alright…" I said. "I'll talk to you again soon." I muttered quickly hung up the phone. He called back but I didn't answer.
I'm not going to run from my problems. I needed to talk to Emmett and I know I ran last time but maybe I'd go back. I'd give it a few days to form completely. I sat there on my couch lost in thought.
I started to paint the walls. I heard someone banging on my door. I walked over there.
"Who is it?" I asked in a shaky voice.
"It's Alice Cullen." Said a voice that sounded like bells. I opened the door.
"Hi… would you like to come in?" I asked. She walked in to the living room. I stared at her.
"You're probably wondering why I'm here… well, I'm looking for Emmett but then I got a call saying he was home but since I was already at the airport I decided to come out and visit." She said. She turned around and had a defiant look in her eyes. I waited
"I want you to come back with me… Emmett was in shock and I'm sure you know he needs time to think. You left before he had the chance. I was wondering if you could come back to talk to him… you don't have to stay or anything… but I feel like you should come back and talk to him. You don't need to come now… here's a ticket it's good until the end of next month. Use it or not… it's your choice." She said. I stared at her and then she left. I stared at the ticket she left in my hand. I sighed. It was morning now and my phone rang again.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hi mom… it's Lorelai… do you want to meet up for lunch?" She asked. I smiled, "I'd love to." We picked a place and I grabbed some money and left the house. I got down there and saw her sitting at a table at in a coffee house.
"Hi." I smiled. She smiled back.
"How are you?" I asked.
"I'm really good. The kids are good too… although Emmett won't listen to me or his father…" she said.
"That's like his grandpa." I muttered. I never really mentioned her dad before.
"What's he like?" she asked.
"Well, he's nice and caring… he's very much like the protector… always looking out for everyone. But he hates to be wrong and he'll got to great lengths to be right." I said.
"Lorelai, I just recently found out your father was alive. He went on a camping trip and disappeared. I went looking for him but I couldn't find him. So after I had you I left again only this time… I couldn't return as you know… anyways… as it turns out he's been alive all this time… I think I might go visit him." I said.
"Wow… will I get to meet him?" She asked.
"We'll see… I'm not sure how it's going to go with us meeting up… but of course I'll give him your information so he can write or call you… or visit…" I said.
"Thank you." She said. I sighed.
"Tyler called you didn't he?" I asked.
"No…" Lie. I cocked an eyebrow.
"Okay fine, I confess, he did but I was going to sooner or later…" She muttered.
"Lorelai… I'm fine…" I said. She nodded we finished our coffee and she had to go back to work.
"I'll write soon." I promised as I headed back to my apartment. I was debating whether or not I should fly out there. I finally decided I'd go. I grabbed a small bag and headed out to the airport. I boarded my plane and we took off. The ride was nerve racking, knowing I was going to see Emmett made me extremely nervous. It seemed like the plane would never land. I sighed.
I got off the plane and headed out of the airport. I saw Alice waiting by a sliver car for me. I smiled.
"I knew you'd come." She gushed. I weakly smiled.
"Does he know?" I asked. She shook her head. We got in the car.
"Don't worry… I'll be happy to see you." She said. I sighed.
"I'm not worried about that." I said.
"Then what?" She inquired.
"I'm worried about his affections for me…changing." I admitted. She didn't say anything. The rest of the ride went quickly. We pulled up the house.
"You ready?" Alice asked. I sighed, "I guess so." I muttered. I got out of the car and we headed up to the house.
I could feel the mistake I was about to make. I was nervous about seeing Emmett. I was having second thoughts. I just wanted to got back to New York and work on painting my house. I guess when you're facing your fears you realize what really scared you. And I'm scared that Emmett will reject me after all these years, he won't take me back. Which I can't do anything about, but at the same time I just want to yell at him for not finding me or giving me something to know he was healthy. I sighed. I couldn't believe I was about to walk in there and talk to him. I held my breath as I walked in the door.
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