Let Me Love You

"Each person is an enigma. You're a puzzle not only to yourself but also to everyone else, and the great mystery of our time is how we penetrate this puzzle."

-Theodore Zeldin

Chapter Eight: Enigma

Jane looked at her note, unsure if she should ask it to be sent after Thor's disapproval. He was gone now, and it was already late. She'd only drug herself from bed to write because returning a note to her makeshift pen-pal was stuck in her mind. Did Loki truly see himself as such a negative person? The thought of how lonely that must be continued to weight on her. She had not stated such in her letter, if she admitted her thought in writing he would probably not favor her pity. As it was the letter read as somewhat condescending, and they would be visiting in a few hours if the moon here was any judgment of the late hour.

Despite the Aether siphoning her life force, she was feeling stronger by the day. It made her nervous that she would crash all the sooner. She was not prepared to die, not now, she thought other times when she was protecting people that she would be okay with it...but this. This was hardly a heroic way to go...if it wasn't for the potion Loki had concocted to help fight the Aether's effects she might already be dead. This wasn't the way she wanted to go...she had so much more she wanted to do...so much time she'd wasted.

Chasing Thor.

She tried to push the thought out but once it came to her it rooted itself deep. She'd spent years chasing Thor instead of living, and while he'd been helping others in the world...he hadn't taken a moment in his time on Earth to visit her. It was an uncomfortable thought, that she could have done so much more...possibly could have avoided her present condition...if she wouldn't have gone chasing after the stars. No...if she wouldn't have continued to chase a man more content to save the world than live in it...would Thor ever be content just being with her? It wasn't likely...

With a small call for a guard she sent the letter anyway. She had little to lose at this point, and she didn't want to add to her growing list of regrets...there were far too many already. When she did get a little sleep, her mind was filled with shadows, nightmares, and uncertainty...

To Loki Odinson,

I'm not sure if you'll get this. Thor wanted to forbid me to write you tonight at all. We will be coming in the morning for my 'check-up'. He thinks you'll try to escape. I'm not sure why he insists on thinking that way. I know he's jealous, despite me insisting that you aren't interested. He's so stubborn. I would like to know more about you both before things fell apart, can you tell me any stories from those days?

You worked a lot with the other infinity stones, but do you know much of this one? If they are all different are you just hoping you'll get things right but aren't certain? No one here seems to know anything but having seen them before doesn't immediately make you an expert. Should I be trying to get what little I need done accomplished on Earth before I start to feel too ill to move again? I wish we could meet tonight instead of tomorrow.

I'm glad you have at least a connection to your mother. She is a lady worth respecting from what I've observed, though that is admittedly little. By your own words, I don't know if a lifetime would be enough to fairly judge any Asgardian.

I guess Thor hasn't changed too much, he does always seem to think he should immediately be forgiven...but then he is good at excuses in my personal experience. Still, he does care about you, and you are his brother. Forgiveness is better than bitterness. I apologize for my statement about the Aether, I didn't think you would agree. I know you aren't heartless from personal experience, for all your protests you still decided to meet with me again.

-Jane Foster

Loki pursed his lips at the admissions in Jane's letter. Her personal feelings were getting more negative. He couldn't blame her if this was natural, but from what he observed he couldn't know if there was influence by the Aether. These artifacts were cosmic in their scale, it wouldn't surprise him if the stone had a subconscious way of protecting itself. If she was right and her mood influenced how quickly it could absorb her, then it stood to reason the stone would push her mood into the direction that best accelerated it's needs.

He was well aware the stones could effect people's emotions, he had used the mind stone for that very purpose on earth. Yet, the Aether was different, it effected matter in it's power scale...so this was all conjecture, no matter how much he wished he knew more. Still...his prototype was complete enough that he could test it. Perhaps he could draw some of the energy out of her. He eyed the small box over, scanning for small leaks or other issues. He'd dismissed the concept of writing her, he needed to spend this time perfecting the box if he was to test it in a few hours.

Later...

Stepping through the shimmering gold, Jane blinked in surprise at how different it looked on the inside from what was visible outside. The well manicured room was instead as unkempt as Loki appeared. He didn't have the finely attired coat – that was on the floor under an overturned chair. His sleeves were pushed up to uneven levels on either arm, the front of it unbuttoned far enough to make parts of a surprisingly muscular chest visible. His hair was wild, not at all like the immaculate slicked back look of the week before.

"Um, are you all right?" Jane asked curiously, jumping when his attention shot up to her. He hadn't even glanced up upon her entry – so focused on whatever it was he was working on. It seemed like he didn't even realize she was there until she'd said something. The slightly manic glint to his eyes faded and he offered her a smile.

"Jane Foster, I wasn't sure when you would arrive." Loki said as he leaned back from his work. "My apologies for not cleaning up first. Things have been hectic, I was trying to finish at least a prototype of my first design."

"But you said it would take weeks..." Jane commented, blinking at the box near him with lots of symbols she didn't recognize. It looked a lot smaller than she expected. "When was the last time you slept?"

"Two days ago? Three perhaps?" Loki shrugged. "It doesn't matter. Asgardian's do not require as much rest as mortals. A perk of immortality."

"I dunno, I sort of like just vegging out once in a while and sleeping til noon." Jane replied, blushing slightly when he took her arm to hover his opposite hand over it – calling the Aether to the surface. The substance glimmering black and silver in her veins – having an inner heartbeat of it's own somber energy.

"How have you been sleeping?" Loki asked, still observing the Aether closely – possibly for something she couldn't see herself.

"Not well. I've been feeling better with the potions but I haven't been able to get much sleep. I think I'm a little afraid I won't wake up again. Don't take that wrong though! I dunno what's in them – other than apples I guess. But they have helped me quite a bit... How do you call the Aether to the surface of my skin like that?" Jane moved right into her own curiosity after dealing with answering her health question, not wanting to think about dying anymore than she had last night. She wasn't sure if he received her letter, she couldn't spot it in this mess if he had.

"It's a fairly simple magic trick, sort of a minor magnet to other magical sources. Something you learn early on in the command of the art." Loki replied, letting the crimson hide itself beneath her pale skin as he instead looked up at her.

When she immediately glanced away he hesitated – canting his head at the behavior. Despite all her arguments with Thor, despite the fact he kept telling her he was just a monster, she was still interested in him. She was quite the baffling young woman, but it was in his favor. He gestured toward the bed. "Lie down, I'd like to check your current levels – though I must admit you do appear to be healthy enough to last until I should be able to tweak the device to hold the entirety of the Aether. For now it should hold at least some, if I've built it correctly."

"Good, I would like to live through all of this." Jane answered, sitting on the edge of the cot. She hesitated only a moment before laying down, her heart picking up speed as she was again surrounded by his aroma. This time it was less foreign, and the scent left her with just as few pure thoughts as it had the first visit. She pushed the thoughts away, down, smothering them as best she could.

Loki reached over her, his elbow grazing her chest and she did her best not to gasp since he just continued his work seeming to be none the wiser as to the close contact. He glanced up to her as she'd tensed – even if she hadn't cried out. "Are you in pain?"

"No. Nope, I'm good, just a little unused to being in prison." Jane stated, it was mostly honest. She felt captured by the rich forest color of his eyes. The sudden butterflies, this was the way she'd first felt when she'd met Thor.

"Just close your eyes and attempt to relax." Loki said, it was serious. He'd entered 'doctor mode' and she couldn't argue with that. She needed a little reminder to keep things business related. She was still with Thor, she had to work out that mess – and Loki might be smart, and witty, and funny, and attractive – but she had to ignore all of that. He was a murderer and still dangerous.

Jane had never been one to fall for the bad boys. What the hell was wrong with her now? She had a lot of possibilities, the constant near death experiences. The fact that Loki might have a lot wrong with him but he was working very hard to try to save her life. Maybe he was drugging her with some sort of creepy extra part of the potions he gave her? No. Thor made those himself, he should probably know if there was something in it. Of course, she couldn't really ask without making another argument for herself.

"It appears to have a weaker grip than when we met the first time. I'd like to try and draw just a little of the Aether out of you. See how well the prototype I've put together works." Loki's voice was further away so she peeked with one eye and noticed he wasn't next to the bed any longer. He had to have been really quiet to move across the floor without her noticing him leaving. He was returning with the device, which left her heart racing. She didn't like the idea of this – she knew she had to do it but she certainly feared it going awry. It wasn't like it was any sort of exact science. She couldn't trust it with knowledge, she just had to have faith – not something she would like to rely on.

"Are you going to manage? You've gone as white as the clouds." Loki remarked upon returning. "The device might be slightly uncomfortable, but it shouldn't be painful."

"You sound like a dentist...and they're all sadists." Jane replied, frowning a little at the box. With all the Norse ruins it looked like a prop from a sci-fi show. Except this wasn't just something she watched on television, it was happening to her.

"Well, this doesn't attach to your teeth." Loki replied, gesturing her hands up before setting the box against her chest. She started to drop it since it was heavier than expected, both of them grabbing for it at the same moment. Her fingers settled over his hands – as his reflexes were much more refined than hers. His skin was smooth, not like the calloused hands of Thor – they weren't the same sort of warrior though. It was nothing that should have surprised her.

"I got it." She assured as he offered her a small raise of a brow. His hands didn't move for a moment, before altering to holding the device over her hands. Jane frowned back at him at the gesture, repeating herself. "Um, I said I have it."

"I cannot know what effect it will have on you once it is activated, better if I reassure your grip." He commented. He supposed she wasn't disagreeable when it came to appearances, certainly his brother had altered his tastes for the better. A woman with a mind as well as a body was a fresh experience given Thor normally only laid with women for conquest as opposed to conversation. He admired this one's tenacity, her will to cling to life despite the ageless source trying to snuff her out.

"Okay, so should I do anything?" Jane asked, glancing to the container as Loki began to stare a little too long than was appropriate. Her mouth felt dry. Was this the Aether? It never pushed Loki away...perhaps it liked him and was influencing her to do the same. They were both pretty dark forces...

"Just close your eyes and try to relax." Loki replied, waiting until her lids were shut to continue, "Take a deep breath, fill up your lungs. Hold it a moment, then release it slowly. Again. Keep breathing like that."

Jane followed his instructions, unable to see him she figured he'd chew her out if she looked at him so she went with speaking instead. "That does help, do you breath like this for meditation or something?"

"I have used it for that in the past, it is a method by which young magic users calm their minds to call on the art. Eventually you begin to call upon things much easier and without such an extreme need of focus. When you first delve it is needed." Loki explained lightly, his tone gentler than usual. His fingers tightened slightly over hers and she couldn't help but tense.

"Are you going to start?" Jane asked, figuring she'd feel something. She tried to calm herself again but it was difficult since she didn't know what to expect. "Can I open my eyes?"

"I've already finished, and yes." Loki answered, pulling the device away from her to look at it curiously. There was a pale salmon glow coming from the inner part of the complex container. She blinked at it, frowning as it sparked and seemed all the more sinister despite currently being the color of a baby girl's room. "I believe the Aether is reacting, trying to draw back to it's main source."

"Um, okay. That sounds terrible."

"It isn't." Loki smirked at her comment. "Once we get the majority of the Aether free, the rest should follow very easily. I think if you are feeling up to it we should meet a few times a week – taking it at a reasonable pace for a mortal I'd say every three days."

"For how long?" Jane wanted to know how much this would land her in arguments with Thor.

"I'd like to break it into a dozen sessions." Loki stated without pausing. "So a little over a month. Unless an emergency arises and then we'll have to adjust as needed. Do not push yourself. You may begin to feel better but no sparring and limited physical activity. The potion you are taking should continue to aid but if you harm yourself the Aether will use that as a method to infuse itself further into your system. The same goes if you cease to take them, you would definitely make it much more difficult if not impossible."

"So it's like taking antibiotics for an infection, you aren't overdosing me are you? People take way too many antibiotics on earth. Then they don't work anymore...and...well never-mind..." Jane commented, starting to ramble a little before catching herself and pausing there. She pushed herself up, then wavered as she was hit by a vertigo she didn't expect. If Loki hadn't grabbed her arm she would have fallen over.

"You need not rush – just because you didn't feel anything doesn't mean the process is harmless on you. We haven't had to deal with pulling an infinity stone from a mortal before, so I cannot say what the side effects could be." Loki explained, holding her steady until she nodded to him and seemed capable of sitting on her own. "Besides, I'm hardly in a rush to go somewhere after you leave."

Jane smiled lightly, it was so full of things in here it was easy to forget they were in a prison. The image of many walls instead of the glowing mesh of energy helped aid the premise that she was just seeing him like she would a doctor. The whole process could be connected to things she would do on earth easily enough. Giving up the Aether was apparently like donating blood – she'd fainted once after visiting one of those trucks as well. She was too small to donate without risking her own health with as much as they took in such a process. Of course, this wasn't really the same – but the connection to her own science helped her stay calm.

"So...um...I'm sort of afraid to ask, but I..." She paused, shaking her head. "No, nevermind. I can write you about it. I don't want Thor to worry about me. He is probably already pacing somewhere."

"If you think you are safe to stand." Loki replied and held his arm to help her up. Even though he was in the same disarray as his room there was a polished quality to his movements. Ever the enigma. She accepted the help, waiting a moment to be certain she wouldn't be hit with more dizziness before being escorted to the side of the cell.

"Don't go doing anything stupid, Jane Foster." He whispered juts before the wall opened. She stepped through, since she wasn't supposed to wait but was left looking at the same illusion everyone outside saw. A perfectly manicured cell with Loki calmly working at a table. Thor was already putting an arm around her to ask about how her day had gone and pulling her away.

"He's started to draw out the Aether, but thinks I should still not do anything physical. Not that I would ever start sparring...but I don't want to push it I suppose." Jane explained. "It's good he's started to get this thing out of me. He says it would be best for my health to draw it out every few days. Is that all right?"

"It can't be helped." Thor agreed, certainly uncomfortable with the familiarity between Jane and Loki. Still, if Loki was willing to save her Thor couldn't keep being in the way. Jane had been right about that. "I apologize for acting so jealously. I know better than to think such ill thoughts of you Jane. You are right that I should take this as a good sign, that my brother wishes to help another."

Jane smiled at Thor, glad for the observation, then leaned on him as she was still slightly dizzy. Glancing back at the glimmering cell made her chest tighten. As much as she enjoyed puzzles, she knew that Thor's concerns weren't wholly unfounded. Being near Loki was exhilarating, but also frightening...when she got back to the room they supplied her she sat with Thor and listened to his discussion of a battle but she didn't really hear it, lost in her own confusion since the Aether had possessed her.

End Chapter

Sorry for all the delays in releasing this, life's been more than busy. I do update when I have time and my muse isn't being lazy. Part of this has been sitting a long time but I dusted it off and finished it out over the past few days.

-Aura

To my reviewers:

Thanks you guys, re-reading kind words really made me want to work on this and get up the update.

SnowHawk0316 – I plan to throw in more elements of the film when I can. I'm working up to it.

XioXiria – Thank you, I really enjoy the couple so I'm always glad when others like the way I present them.

Thephoenixandthedragon4ever – Your comment made me think of Loki and then I chuckled. I don't think he would be too keen on accepting a shared rule. That's not a King, that is a council. I could picture him saying something along those lines.