Rafael clinked his glass to Robert's and they smiled. It was a celebratory outing: Rafael had won his case and was on cloud nine. Sure, it was an easy case and it wasn't one of those he really should be celebrating, but it gave him an excuse for a social life. If getting drinks with a potential boyfriend once a week was a social life, he definitely had one.

Robert was a high class, single Doctor. He was from the wealthy north side of Boston: his family owned a practice and every man in his family had passed through those doors and treated their patients- that is, except for Robert. See, Robert was the sort of black sheep of the family. He went to medical school at Princeton, following his paternal legacy; five generations of Doctor Ellis-es. Robert Ellis, however, dreamed of the nightlife of New York. He dreamed of clubs and dingy subways and hoards among hoards of people. Truth be told, it was really the men he came looking for.

At 45, Robert was living his life the way he wanted. It was up to his younger brother to carry on the family legacy, and it was up to Robert to partake in a life of pure unadulterated fun. Sure, he had his own practice here, but Robert didn't have plans for a family to carry on its legacy. Rafael did.

There were certain things the two could not agree on and after almost a year of meeting up weekly, Rafael would be lying if he said he didn't want to push their whatever-ship to the next level. Rafael did have intentions of settling down. Sure, it wasn't the traditional American Dream his grandparents had foreseen, but they were his. And thanks to them, he was free to pursue them.

Robert and Rafael did have sex. That was Rafael's only "intimate" outlet. He often wondered if Robert only ever had it with him, but the more they talked, the more he learned that it most likely wasn't an exclusive thing they had. Robert had come to New York for men and Rafael had stayed in New York for a family. Yeah, the men were definitely a plus (probably a step up from some of the stuck up Ivy League twits he had to deal with) but he wanted to settle in the city. The first time Rafael went home with Robert, Robert had ordered him not to make their situation "weird."

"Look, this is some innocent fun. Just two guys… With urges. We had a good night, you know? Let's satisfy 'em." Robert had coerced him home with his low, romantic bedroom voice and Rafael hadn't declined. He was all for it. It went great in his eyes. Robert was more in for a fuck and Rafael wanted to display some of his signature Cuban passion. Robert had pushed him away when Rafael wanted to cuddle and he went home that night. "Rafi, don't make this weird on me, 'kay?"

That's usually how it went.

By the eighth time around, Rafael knew he wasn't going to get his way, so the next fifteen times, he just obliged. Stressful case? Let's get it over with. His place? Fabulous. Done? Goodnight, see you later. No sleepovers and no cuddles. That was their dynamic. But honestly, Rafael still hoped. That's why he kept going out with him. No matter how many times it hurt him to hear, 'Rafi, don't make it weird," he pursued him all the more.

The other 313 nights per year, Rafael either spent with his mother, alone, or with the SVU Detectives. He was grateful for the nights after a case win, or a stressful stint, when the squad all went out for dinner and Rafael was invited to tag along. Between being the Assistant District Attorney for 90% of the day, he still had to eat and sleep (hah.) So coffee runs with Olivia, or dinner with Fin & Nick were greatly appreciated.

Rafael denied it to people's faces all he could, but he did in fact enjoy company. Real company. Real people. Tangible people. Cuddle-able people. He didn't like being alone all the time. It's just his job turned him into a seemingly cocky introverted hermit. But that wasn't the 'Rafi' his friends and family grew up with.

"To yet another excellent win, Counselor." Robert smiled, swigging the glass of scotch down and tapping two fingers on the bar top to signal the bartender to fetch him another glass.

Rafael nodded with slight a smirk, not taking all of the alcohol from his glass; he was a sipper. "I wouldn't say excellent. Just resourceful. You know if I hadn't gotten in his face on the bench, I doubt he'd be found contempt. He was pissed. Bastard couldn't handle the truth of his own crime. He snapped." Rafael went on about his case. He found if he talked about it, without going far too much into detail, he could alleviate at least some of the stress.

Robert narrowed his eyes. Truth be told, he hated listening to Barba drag on about his clients or the high profile cases he was involved in. Robert wanted sex from Rafael. That's all he ever wanted. Rafael picked up on this when he finally noticed Robert staring into his drink.

"There something wrong, Rob?" Rafael set his glass down and turned towards the other man watching him. Robert swirled glass around, focusing harder on it. Rafael waited a few moments before he sighed.

"Now, don't start acting like that, Rafi."

"Like what? Like I'm annoyed that I'm being ignored again? God forbid I want to vent after another week of hell dealing with the same scummy rapists over and over. I give all of my attention to everyone around me and every single detail. All I ask is to have yours for more than twenty seconds."

Robert sighed. "Maybe we should take a rain check on tonight."

"Yeah. Maybe we should. Adiós" Rafael stood up and slid his coat back on, leaving a tip behind. He stormed out of the bar while Robert ordered another drink.

Rafael ended up spending the night on his couch flipping between channels and passing out.

His phone vibrated. 6 missed texts. Fuck.

Robert, 12:19 a.m.
'Rafi, I'm outside your building. Let me up.'

Robert, 12:30 a.m.
'Rafael. Seriously? Are we playing these childish games right now?'

Robert, 12:45 a.m.
'I'm going home. I'll be free tomorrow after ten. Brunch?'

Robert, 12:47 a.m.
'Goodnight, R."

Rafael rolled his eyes. He muttered, "fuck off," before getting up and walking to turn his coffee pot on.

Intern w/ Blue Eyes, 1:00 a.m.
'Sorry to bother you this late, Counselor. I was doing some research and found something you might like to see...'

Rafael noted to ignore the interns at the DA's office for the next few days; kids are too ambitious. He looked at his watch and noted the time. He didn't have to leave for another hour or so. His single cup brewed and he sipped at it, wishing to himself he could just inject the liquid straight into his veins.

Then his eyebrows furrowed as he noticed a name that often didn't appear on his screen. "Detective?" He pursed in his bottom lip, as he often did when intrigued, and opened the text.

Carisi, 7:03 a.m.
'Hey, Barba! Rollins and I were planning to grab coffee and some of those French pastries I've seen you eat. You want me to grab you something?'

His left eyebrow perked. "Huh." He looked at his watch again and made his way to the shower, his coffee making the trip along with him. He texted back.

'You know, I'll meet you guys there. Right down the corner from the precinct?'

Rafael wore a blue button down with a white collar that morning. He had a peach Brooks Brothers houndstooth tie around his neck and a grey three-piece suit to sport. Out of his front pocket was a matching, overpriced blue and peach pocket square. He made his morning commute downtown and entered into the small café Amanda and Sonny were currently waiting in line in.

"Rollins. Carisi." He nodded.

"Mornin', Counselor." Amanda smiled lightly, and Rafael noticed the bags under her eyes. She must've gone out to celebrate as well. He turned his head and had to readjust his vision because there was Sonny Carisi is all his bright eyed and bushy-tailed morning glory smiling back at him like a puppy.

"You see the game last night, Barba?" Sonny bounced up onto his toes with a tremendously atrocious amount of energy for this hour.

"Did I what?" Rafael narrowed his eyes and looked at Amanda with a 'can you believe this guy?' type look. He looked back up at the younger man, taller than he was, younger and bolder than he was, probably better looking than he was, too.

"The Yankees game. Didja watch?" His mouth was moving far too much for the small sentence fragments he was producing. What was that about? Ah. Chewing gum. Rafael noticed he was chewing gum… At 8:30 in the morning. He eyed over the detective's suit- a step up from last time, go him- and shook his head.

"No. What could possibly possess me to spend my Thursday night watching baseball?" They moved forward in their line.

"Well, I saw you go into a bar last night."

Rafael's eyes widened and they darted back to the tall detective. "You what?"

"Yeah, uh… What was it? O'Flanagan's. Place uptown? I was out last night, too. Found myself in the area. I was headed to a place a few blocks down when I saw you go in." Sonny didn't dare mention he saw him enter with another guy. Not that he was jealous or anything.

Rafael nodded and took a deep breath before ordering everyone's coffee and pastries and taking the bill. They all made their way outside and started heading towards the office. As they walked, Amanda and Sonny kept talking about a case Benson had mentioned pertaining to some mutually liked high profiled athlete throwing abuse accusations against his coach. Rafael's thoughts were elsewhere. He mapped out all the bars in the area he was at the night before, trying to figure out where Sonny was headed. It suddenly dawned on him that the area was prominent with gay bars and Sonny most likely was headed into one.

He smirked at the thought and when he looked up, he stopped in his tracks.

There was Robert-and another man- kissing.

And suddenly, Rafael's day had grown sour.