Trigger warning. This chapter has content that might look like non-consensual, so if you're sensitive to these things please do not read.

They ate a late breakfast and went for a long walk, had coffee and donuts at a diner and returned in time to watch the day's Simpsons episode.

The next day they tried the massage again. Jack rolled onto his stomach, his bare back exposed. He was restless, but he tried his best to relax and enjoy Jane's hands on his shoulders. It did feel good...he allowed himself to drift off. When he felt Jane's hands move lower he stirred. And then he panicked. He couldn't move, and he was completely naked. When had he lost his pants?

"Jane?"

The hands moved over his cheeks.

"Jane, stop it."

A thumb slid between his cheeks.

"Patrick, please!"

"I'm tired of it, Jack. You want it, and you'll enjoy it. Just shut up and relax."

"No! Patrick, leave me alone."

Jack felt bile rise, and there was sweat on his face. He closed his eyes. Please no...he felt a finger pushing at his entrance. Tears shot to his eyes. He was begging now. "Please Patrick don't. Let me find another way to please you. Whatever you want, just – please don't-"

"- enter you? That's exactly what I'm gonna do, Jack. Not much you can do about it."

The finger slid in. He cramped, and at the same time he felt himself get hard.

"See? You like it. You like being taken. Don't put on such a show. You're enjoying my finger up your ass, and you'll just love my cock."

"No! God, Patrick, please!"

"Jack. Jack! Wake up, look at me. Please, Jack!"

He was panting, sweat and tears on his face, and he was staring at Jane wide eyed. He was dressed, and Jane looked at him with worry. "Calm down, Jack. It was just a dream, OK? Are you OK?"

"No." There was absolutely no intonation in his voice. Flat and strangled. He was completely spent. And he couldn't let Jane touch him.

"Get out."

"What? You sure it's a good idea to be alone in here like this?"

"Get out of my house Jane, please. It's not your fault, I just can't do this. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to protect myself. You're not good for me."

Jane swallowed hard. He couldn't believe how much it hurt.

"Are you absolutely sure about it?"

"Yes I am."

"OK."

He got up and left the room, and a few minutes later Jack heard his front door open and close. He hated being this screwed up, this damaged. But banning Jane from his life had been the right thing to do. Painful, but right.

~o0o~

Crime Scene, California

"So what have we got here?"

"Jane! What are you doing here, I thought you were on holiday!" Lisbon was clearly not prepared to see him at the crime scene of her latest case.

"Missed you guys. So who's the victim?"

She took a closer look at him and frowned. "You look like crap. You should be home."

"Doing what? So, what happened here?"

~o0o~

Back at the office Lisbon cornered Jane. "What happened, Jane?"

"Not talking about it."

"What did she do to you?"

"Huh?"

"Oh come on. We all know you had started seeing someone. You were – happy! And now you're back sooner than expected looking like crap. So what went wrong?"

Jane refused to answer her, no matter how many times she tried. He just wouldn't talk about it, pretending there was nothing wrong.

~o0o~

When Jane came home the next day he found Jack O'Neill on his door step. He was happy to see him, but at the same time he felt anger rise. He hesitated for a moment, but then he gestured for Jack to follow him inside. In his living room he confronted him. "What do you want, Jack?"

"I came to apologize. I was an idiot."

"I'm not sure I can take this much longer. You pull me close only to push me away, and it's killing me."

"You're right. You're probably better off without me."

"That's bullshit. I'd be great with you if you actually talked to me."

"Yeah, I heard that one before."

"Well, maybe there's some truth to it then!"

"It was you."

"Excuse me?"

"That nightmare you woke me from. It was a flash back to Iraq, to the stuff they did to me there."

"Oh my God, Jack. I -"

"Only it was you in that dream. It was you doing it to me, Jane. And then I woke up and the man who had saved me from that nightmare and the man who had just raped me were becoming one, and I freaked out. I'm sorry. I know it's not your fault that I'm so thoroughly screwed up, and I wish I could do something to make me...functional again."

"That's about the most cruel thing I ever heard anyone say about themselves."

"Well what would you call it?"

"Sane? Whole? Happy?"

Jack's head fell back. "Well maybe you can do something about it."

"Whatever you want, Jack."

"Really? Whatever I want?"

"Yes."

"OK, so hypnotize me."

"Why would I do that?""

"So you can make me do what you want me to do. Make me accept what you wanna do."

"You can't be serious."

A few minutes later Jane tried again. "It won't work anyway, we tried that before."

"Because I resisted. Now I want you to do it. I won't resist."

"Jack, no way am I gonna hypnotize you for sex!"

"Why not? I could be of use to you."

"And afterward I just snap you out of it until I want you again?"

"Yeah."

"You're nuts, Jack. This discussion is over."

For a while they just sat on the couch, each clinging to their thoughts. When Jane couldn't resist he put his hand on Jack's thigh and gently stroked him. Jack tensed and got up. "Jane, I'm serious. I can't be with a guy."

"You can't bottom."

"Yeah, what's your point?"

"Well, that leaves another option."

"Yeah, as if you'd let me top!"

Jane looked up at him with a complete lack of understanding. "Why on earth wouldn't I?"

"Oh come on, after everything I put you through. You're gorgeous, Jane, brilliant and beautiful and - sweet."

Jane got up from the couch as well. "Those sound like pretty good reasons in favor of screwing a guy, not against", he said, stepping closer.

"Those are pretty good reasons to kneel before a guy."

"What's your point?"

"My point is that you deserve the whole deal. Me serving you instead of just using you. A fair balance."

"Well I don't know about you, colonel, but I think the 'using me' thing sounded hot as hell."

Jack raised an eyebrow at Jane. "Are you saying my rank is doing something for you?"

"Yes, sir, it is."

"Don't 'sir' me."

"Oh come on, don't tell me all those hot, perfectly trained young soldiers serving under you aren't a turn on."

"Airmen. And no. Never in the context of the job."

"So what about a different context then?"

Jack reached for the back of Jane's neck and pulled him into a kiss. Demanding, not gentle. "Like a certain civilian telling me he's turned on by the idea of following my orders?"

Jane's legs felt unsteady all of a sudden. "For example."

"That might indeed be a turn on."

Jack pulled him flush against his body. Jane's arousal was obvious, his strong reaction still kind of a surprise to Jack. "You really want this? Me dominating you?"

"Yes", Jane looked up at Jack. So much lust, so much devotion. "Yes, please, sir."

That did it. Jack felt himself harden. He pushed Jane back against the living room door to let him feel it, the small, needy moan that escaped Jane turning Jack on even more. He kissed him again before he backed away. "So get on your bed."

Jane moved into his bedroom and onto the bed with his back towards Jack, and Jack sat behind him. Reaching over his shoulders he started to undo the buttons of Jane's shirt, moving the collar a little to place a kiss against the back of his neck. He moved to the side of Jane's neck, reveling in the softness of the skin he found there, tempted to mark it. He reined it in for fear of being discovered, but he made a mental note to leave a mark somewhere else on Jane's body. Jane leaned into his touch, but he pulled away a little to get rid of his shirt. His hands roamed broad shoulders and strong arms, enjoying the feeling of Jane's muscles rolling under his skin as he braced his hands on the bed.

"Lose the pants, Jane", Jack rasped an inch away from his jaw, moving to give him room. When just his boxers were left Jane looked at Jack.

"Lose those, too."

"Yes, sir."

No way would that smirk have been tolerated on a subordinate. On Jane it looked breathtaking. Jack drank him in. Fair skin, smooth chest, almost fully erect from nothing but a few touches. And some kinky talk. Jack's next order didn't even need to be said aloud. He just locked eyes with Jane and held his gaze, just the slightest trace of a half smile on his face. Jane swallowed hard and turned around, moving up on the bed on his hands and knees. What a sight.

"Stay put."

Jack moved closer, his hands roaming the swell of Jane's butt. Crap but that was one hell of a butt...he slid his hand between the cheeks, and instantly Jane moved his hips against his hand. The guy was asking for it. "You want me to use that spectacular ass of yours?"

"Oh God yes!"

A smile spread across Jack's face, a little evil and very much in control. He pressed the tip of one finger against Jane's entrance, rubbing slow circles, and then running the same finger up and down between his cheeks. "God Jack, please."

"Please what?"

"Please take me!"

Jack chuckled. "Patience, Jane. Lube?"

Jane huffed out a small laugh. "Bought some just for you. Top drawer."

Interesting. "So you've been counting on this."

"I've been hoping for it."

The moment Jane felt Jack's now slick hand move back between his cheeks he let out a moan that was part relief and part pleading.

"You want me to open you?"

"Yes!"

"Say it. "

"Yes please. Oh God, please just put something inside me."

Jack gently pushed against Jane's entrance with his fingertip, only to find him ready and relaxed. His finger slid in without resistance. He gently pulled out and pushed back in again. And again. Half a dozen times, and Jane met him thrust for thrust. Jack stilled. He bent down and placed an open mouthed kiss against the swell of Jane's ass, reaching for his belt at the same time. Pants open he breathed: "Relax."

He could feel the tension leave Jane's body. When he entered two fingers Jane briefly tensed up, but after a moment he relaxed again.

"Are you OK?", Jack breathed close to Jane's ear, holding himself above Jane's body with his left hand.

"Oh God yes, Jack. Please – please don't make me wait any longer!"

Jack didn't need another invitation. He pulled his fingers out and entered Jane, carefully, slowly, giving him time to adjust. The throaty sound that emerged from Jane the moment that Jack's balls touched his almost pushed Jack over the edge. This was too good to be true. He grabbed Jane's hips and held him in place, motionless, trying to gather his wits. Jane wrapped his hand around himself.

"Fuck, Jack, finish this!"

Jack couldn't help his chuckle. "A little more respect, please." Jack couldn't remember if he had ever had a grin as huge as this on his face right before he came, but when he did it felt spectacular. He emptied himself inside of Jane, and after a few hard strokes Jane was there, too.

A/N: I can't access my views stats for some reason, but I know from faves and follows that you folks are reading. Sadly I don't get reviews (ebi, you're the exception from the rule :-)) - possibly because people are a little embarrassed. Maybe you might wanna consider leaving a guest review, because I'd really like to know what you folks think. Thanks!