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Title : Triangular

Author : DnKS-giRLs

Rating : PG-13

Characters/Pairings : Schneizel-Suzaku-Lelouch

Disclaimers : As per usual, we have no claim over the characters mentioned in this story

Warning : See characters/pairings

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Chapter 11 – Decision

There was a sense of serenity in him as Lelouch vi Britannia walked along the silent pathway amidst the woods. It was mid morning and the weather was nice. That in itself was enough reason for him not to think of anything regarding his class. It was a sin to waste a perfect day like that in a boring classroom trying to listen to a boring professor explaining an even more boring subject. So when he had a chance to enjoy the sunny mid morning outside the constriction of classroom, Lelouch was every bit elated, though he admitted that his present state of bliss was not entirely caused by the deeds of nature.

The air felt peasant, but he knew the air was not the one responsible for the pleasant feeling within him. The sun felt warm on his skin, but he knew the sun was not the one responsible for the warmth he felt in his heart. The view was beautiful, but he knew it was not the one that held the description of beauty in his eyes.

"I never thought you to be a romantic type," he said with a smile. Tilting his face a bit, his eyes caught the sight of his companion who walked on his side. Should he look downward, he would see the way their hands were entwined with each other. But he did not have to do that since the other was tightening his hold on his hand, as if reminding him of the fact that they were indeed walking hand in hand.

As if reminding him that he, Lelouch vi Britannia, was indeed walking hand in hand with Kururugi Suzaku, the man whom he had taken as his lover.

"What do you mean by romantic?" Suzaku asked.

"You," he said. "This is our first date and you take me to the lake to 'commemorate the place where it all began'."

He heard Suzaku laughing and he immersed himself in enjoying the rich sound that laughter made in the air.

"That, or maybe I'm just broke so I cannot take you to any of those fancy restaurants in town," Suzaku replied. "But actually, I have a stupid reason why I chose this place."

He felt Suzaku stopping his steps once he finished his sentence. Following the act, he came to realization that they already arrived at the bank of the lake where, roughly one and a half week prior, he had revealed those three fateful words of 'I love you' to the man now standing on his side. The lake was still the same like what he remembered. The trees were also unchanged. But they have changed.

"I owe this place," Suzaku explained. "I owe this place my answer."

"Your answer to…?" he questioned.

"My answer to your confession," Suzaku said as he turned his face so they were staring eyes to eyes. "I love you, Lelouch vi Britannia."

He closed his eyes as he heard those words, as if he tried to absorb them into him. But when he opened his eyes again, he chuckled.

"You're right," he said. "It is indeed a stupid reason."

"Oh, shut up, you," Suzaku said though he was also smiling wide. In no time, they found themselves seated against the trunk of a tree, watching the small blue ripples forming on the surface of the lake. And Lelouch was content just by doing that, sitting side by side with Suzaku like how they used to do in the past. Though they did not say anything yet after they sat down, the silence was pleasant rather than depressing.

Whilst he was enjoying the silence, Lelouch felt a hand placed against his head. Suzaku's fingers waved amidst his hair and with a gentle tug, he felt how Suzaku pulled his head unto his shoulder.

He was speechless. For a moment, he said no word, merely acknowledging the feeling of Suzaku's shirt against his cheek, the feeling of Suzaku's hand gently supporting his head, and the feeling of Suzaku's warm body so close to his own. He smiled.

"You feel comfortable," he said as he closed his eyes briefly before opening them again. Looking up, he could see Suzaku's own emerald eyes looking down at him. And then those eyes came closer to his face. And then his eyes closed themselves.

And then they shared a kiss.

Breaking from the kiss after some moment, Lelouch immediately found himself chuckling.

"That was…" he said but Suzaku beat him up.

"Too clichéd?" Suzaku said.

"Definitely," he agreed though he did not budge from his current position with his head resting on Suzaku's shoulder. "But I still think that you feel comfortable."

There was a chuckle emitted from above him as he felt Suzaku's arms came circling his waist. Some movements followed and he then felt Suzaku gently pulling his body closer against his chest. Releasing a contented sigh, he leaned backward until his entire back was resting against Suzaku's chest. With his eyes he examined Suzaku's arms from which they came sneaking from behind him until the point of his fingers which were entwining with each other against his stomach. He observed every digit, every stubbed nails, and every rough calluses there. And doing so, he felt a smirk of victory came upon him as he thought of one word.

'Mine'.

Yet as he thought of that certain word, a sense of regret washed over him. There was still something disturbing his mind. After all that had happened, after all the confusion and despair, he could say that he came from the trial successful. Yet there was something that still felt not right. There was still something that he deeply regretted, something that he wished he could amend.

Suzaku seemed to sense his troubled mood for he could feel the other nuzzled onto the top of his head affectionately. It was an act that he felt really endearing and it was able to force a smile spread on his lips.

"Is there something that matters?" Suzaku asked him carefully. "You seem distressed."

He took a breath. Indeed, there was something bothering him but he doubted it was appropriate to speak of said matter with Suzaku. No matter from what perspective, telling his own lover that the cause of his distress was none other than his own brother's confession of love was inappropriate. Moreover so when he mulled over the fact, with much feeling of guilt, he admitted that he might also love his brother in return.

Lelouch smiled bitterly at that. There was no 'might'. He knew he still loved Schneizel vi Britannia, his dear older brother. And he also knew he would always continue loving him for evermore. But he also loved Suzaku, his Suzaku, the person now he can proudly called as 'his' and he would never let him go.

He was too cruel. Lelouch knew that and maybe the cruelest part was that such a cruel person like him could be loved by such amazing people like Kururugi Suzaku and Schneizel vi Britannia, his life long friend and brother.

"It's nothing…" he said. He hated to hide things from Suzaku, but…

"You lied," Suzaku said flatly. There was no accusation in his voice. It was merely a statement, but it was enough to make him stiffen.

"It's…" he said. "A delicate subject and I don't know how to bring it up."

"A delicate subject, eh?" he could feel Suzaku gulping down. "Ne, Lelouch… actually I have something to confess… and, well, it's also something that you can say as… a delicate subject… somewhat…"

He frowned. Suzaku seemed ill at ease. Whatever thing that he wanted to speak of had to be really grave if it could make him so nervous. And somehow he felt anxious to hear it.

"Well…" he said, trying to be calm. He scolded himself figuratively though for feeling so anxious over nothing. "Let's hear this 'delicate matter' of yours."

"It's about Schneizel," Suzaku said and Lelouch felt his blood run cold. Unconsciously he tightened his grip on Suzaku's hands but the other merely continued speaking without any indication that he might feel it. "You know… I have to thank him… and Shirley too. I mean… Shirley was the one to make me realize that I love you, but Schneizel was the one who made me have the courage to actually come up to you and say it. He has given me his confidence. He believed in me when I did not even believe in myself. And he has entrusted you onto my care, you, the brother whom he loves so much. I owe him, a lot, and…"

There was a pause, before Suzaku continued with a soft whisper.

"I care about him," he said. "And I…"

He stared down to the place where their hands were joined and he understood. Being observant was his blessing and also his curse. Being with Suzaku and Schneizel, watching them interact with each other, he had come to a realization that they shared something deep between them.

"You love him," he said. That was the first time he spoke that aloud though the notion had been tormenting his mind for quite a long time.

"Maybe," Suzaku said. "I don't know… but… yes, I think, I do."

He closed his eyes. He had suspected that, but to actually hear it from Suzaku's own lips was a different matter altogether. But why did Suzaku decided to tell him at that very moment out of all possible moment was something that bothered him. Should he let him go now that he finally realized that Suzaku had his heart for another? But he did not want to lose him. Yet he also could not tie him up to his side, demanding his loyalty for he knew he conveyed the very same sin within him. He also loved his brother, Schneizel vi Britannia, more than he had the right to.

Things were beginning to become more complicated now. He knew he should have not been too naïve as to think everything had ended when it had just begun. Suzaku's revelation brought a brand new discovery, and facing such thing, he knew that for once he could not make out any strategy seemed apt to solve it. There was nothing like a perfect strategy when one was facing such irrational thing like love. And when said love bore such intricacy, involving not only him but also his best friend and dearest brother, he knew that the only thing still worth being performed was honesty.

"Suzaku," he said. "When I was… despondent after that certain incident that took place at this very spot a few days ago, Scneizel onii-sama talked to me. That time he told me that he loved me but he was content should I find my happiness in other, namely, you."

He turned his body in Suzaku's embrace so now he was facing him. He raised his fingers upward and touched Suzaku's cheek, noticing the look of shock the other possessed after hearing his words. He smiled his most sincere and affectionate smile before he continued.

"After I got together with you, I came to Scheizel onii-sama," he said. "And I confessed to him that I loved him. But that did not mean I had any intention to be unfaithful to you. I just…"

He shook his head and gave a small bitter laugh.

"I love you, Suzaku, I love you so much," he admitted in all honesty. "Yet I also love my Scneizel onii-sama. I have loved him for so long it's hard for me to suddenly declare myself off loving him. But I will be true to you; I swear my loyalty to you. And I will always be honest to you. So now I confess this and I shall put the judgment onto your hands."

Waiting for the next to come, Lelouch suddenly felt terribly afraid. For the first time he realized what a stupid thing he had done. How he could swear loyalty to Suzaku yet at the same time also profess his eternal love to Schneizel? How could he expect Suzaku to take his words sympathetically? How could he…

"What is this nonsense?" Suzaku said, astonishing him considerably. Carefully, he looked back up and met with the view of Suzaku's frowning face. "Lelouch, I know how dramatic you can be at times, but… what is with this gibberish of judgment that you are speaking of?"

"But…" he tried to explain. "Don't you find it appalling that I… just admitted to you that I love my own brother while I'm at the moment being your lover?"

He felt Suzaku cupping his cheeks with his hands. "Do you find it appalling that I just admitted to you, my own lover, that I love your brother?"

He was flabbergasted but in the end he managed a breathy, "No…"

Yes, now that Lelouch thought about it, he realized he did not find the prospect of Suzaku loving Schneizel as appalling. It was a bit strange considering that he had been so anxious over that matter until he felt he might explode. Yet when he finally knew for sure that, yes, Suzaku was indeed in love with Schneizel like what he had suspected, he did not feel that offended.

Maybe, he thought as he placed his forehead against Suzaku's chest gently, it was because he had a faith in Suzaku unlike what he had in any other. Even now that he heard how Suzaku professed his feeling for another, he was every bit sure that his Suzaku would never desert him. His Suzaku would never leave him. His Suzaku loved him.

"I love you, Lelouch," Suzaku said and he felt those arms resumed their act of embracing him again. He could feel Suzaku's hand gently caressed his hair. Confronted with heavy emotions, he buried his face deeper into that sturdy chest until he could hear the vibration of Suzaku's every breath as he continued his words. "And I trust you therefore I dared to tell you all these things."

He smiled. "It's pretty ironic, though."

"Hm?" Suzaku said as he loosened his embrace so Lelouch could look up at him. "What is?"

"This," he chuckled. "It's only our first date and we are talking about our matching interest to the almighty Schneizel vi Britannia."

Suzaku laughed, "Indeed it's ironic, ne?"

Lelouch fondly noticed the way sometimes Suzaku's speech still confirmed his nature as Japanese. But what truth those words held. It was ironic, the whole thing was ironic but they could not do anything to change it.

Or could they?

Lelouch frowned. No, he could not think of such thing. It was vulgar. It was unacceptable. It was… not right. But the whole things between them had not been what normal people would call 'right' from the very start. So…

"Lelouch…" Suzaku suddenly said with such a serious expression, stopping him effectively from his inner monologue. "I've been thinking of something…"

"Yes?" he said hurriedly, maybe too hurriedly.

"You love Scheizel," Suzaku said, releasing him from his embrace so they could see each other's face more easily. Now they were sitting face to face and Suzaku continued, "Also you said that Schneizel also loved you in return, right?"

Lelouch took a breath. He did not know where this talk would lead to but he answered, "Yes."

"You see, I also loved Schneizel," Suzaku said again. "And Schneizel told me that he loved me."

He stiffened. It was a piece of information formerly unknown to him, and he did not know what to make of it. Therefore he kept his silence. He waited should Suzaku wanted to reveal more, and his hunch did not fail him for he could hear Suzaku continuing his narration.

"I believe that he said the truth," Suzaku said. "I believe that he loves you like how he loves me and that he loves me like how he loves you. It's like how I love you while I also love him and how I love him when I also love you."

Suzaku stopped as if he wanted to hear his response. Other people might get confused hearing such jumbling sentence like that. But Lelouch had been around Suzaku for too long he could understand perfectly what he was trying to say.

"I understand," he said.

"This is hard for me," Suzaku resumed his talk after hearing his response. "I'm glad that we can be together but I feel bad about Schneizel. He told me he was content but I am not."

He knew he should have been aware of that. Suzaku had a sense of justice and kindness so great to the point of idiocy sometimes. And it seemed that sense of justice also applied to the way he viewed that absurd thing called love. But he did not complain for he too felt discontent of their current situation. He also felt bad for his dear brother Schneizel who loved him so immensely, who always helped him in anything, who was always ready by his side through everything.

"I know," he said. "I also find myself in discontent but I don't know how to make things right. I don't even know what can be called as 'right' anymore."

Suzaku stared right into his eyes with determination as he said, "Lelouch, I love you."

He blinked at the seemingly sudden exclamation but he replied, "I love you too."

"We love each other so we got together," Suzaku said with careful measure for his words. "That is perfectly logical, right?"

He tilted his head a bit, a sure sign that he was trying to figure out where the talk would lead to. "From the perspective of society about the concept of love, yes, that is perfectly logical."

"I love Schneizel and he loves me," Suzaku said again. "You love Schneizel and he loves you. I love you and you love me…"

"Suzaku, what are…"

"Why can't we all get together then?" Suzaku said, cutting him off in the middle of his sentence. "That is also logical, right?"

He blinked as his mind went on overdrive trying to process what Suzaku had just said. There was some harsh shouting in his mind from his so called 'conservative side' that he thought had died from a long time ago telling him how wrong it was. Yet there was also part of him that wished fervently just to accept it, telling him that it was right, that it was logical, that it was just.

"We all…" he said, staring right into Suzaku's eyes, trying to search for a hint that might suggest that he was merely joking. Yet he found none. Suzaku was every bit serious. "As in you and me and Schneizel onii-sama?"

"Yes," Suzaku answered with a ready smile.

"To get together…" he said again. "By getting together, you mean… being involved in a romantic relationship? The three of us?"

"Yes," Suzaku casually said like it was nothing big. But maybe, Lelouch thought with a groan, his so called lover really thought of the whole thing as exactly that. Suzaku's logic sometimes amazed him.

"That's…" he tried. "Not conventional."

"Oh, come on, Lelouch, you have been anything but conventional ever since the very beginning," Suzaku smiled at him good-naturedly. "You are… the exact definition of avant-garde."

He gave Suzaku a look at hearing that, but the expression on the other's face made him not able to continue the treatment for long. With a chuckle he admitted defeat and shook his head in amazement instead.

"I don't know how to take on your logic," he said with a laugh. "To think you can suggest something like that, why, Suzaku, I almost think you are more of a free thinker than me."

"You are a good influence," Suzaku said. "Now come here and let me have you in my arms again."

"Such unashamed boldness," Lelouch said, though he obeyed the request. Getting himself back in Suzaku's embrace, he allowed a sigh of contentment pass through his lips.

"I learned from the best," Suzaku said. "Now that it has been decided, I guess we should see Schneizel tomorrow…"

Lelouch blinked. "Wait. What have been decided?"

Suzaku also blinked. "This. The thing we've been talking about me, you, and Schneizel. What else?"

Lelouch, eyes wide, stared at Suzaku. "You seriously want to propose that to my brother?"

"Yes," Suzaku said with strong resolve.

"Suzaku, you could not possibly think that Schneizel onii-sama would accept your… idea readily, right?" he said. "You cannot suddenly announce to him that you want a… a threesome with him! You cannot just go up to him and say that you want us to be together!"

He could see Suzaku blinked innocently, "Why not?"

Lelouch realized with dejected resignation that Suzaku, his Suzaku, really intended to do just that. And he knew when Suzaku had his resolve on something, nothing could stop him. That was something he always thought would bring imminent death to Suzaku in the future but that time, he somehow felt that the future in question was near.

"Dear God in Heaven, please help us," he sighed. "Just don't involve me in your crazy scheme…"

"But Lelouch, you are involved already," Suzaku whined. "It will go smoothly, I promise."

"No!" he said. "I refuse to humiliate myself in front of my brother by proposing such an absurd idea to him head on. What you need is subtlety… a strategy… yes… like maybe we…"

"Lelouch," Suzaku cut him again. "Have faith in me, please."

Lelouch was just about to counter when Suzaku kissed him deeply, so deep until he could feel his breath stopped in his throat. And when finally his lips was released, he saw how those emerald eyes attentively staring at him with so much love in them until he felt dazed.

"Okay?" Suzaku asked him softly.

Later, Lelouch blamed the kiss as the reason why he nodded like a meek lamb that time. It was the kiss, he decided, that had made him so out of his mind as to agree to such idiotic act like what Suzaku had proposed. Suzaku had the way of kissing that always left him dazed in the end. It was unfair.

"I hate you," he informed Suzaku that night. Their kissing on the bank of the lake that morning had escalated to the point where he was sure he would have to wear turtlenecks for days to come. "You're unfair."

"Yes, Lelouch," Suzaku easily agreed with a smile, and that somehow only irritated him more. So he did a very grown up thing and threw his pillow to Suzaku's direction.

Suzaku laughed while his hand deftly caught the pillow and Lelouch scowled. That time they were currently in his dorm room. Night had fallen for quite some time by then. They had just finished dinner, and at the moment they chatted amiably and had fun in general, talking of nothing and everything in the same time. And it was one of the times that Lelouch really enjoyed.

A good number of hours had passed after that incident on the bank of that lake that morning but he still felt dreadful every time he remembered the bold suggestion Suzaku had made. Moreover so when he remembered that he had agreed to take part in it. And that, he reminded himself, was the fault of that one kiss.

He groaned internally but when his eyes caught the sight of Suzaku as the other frowning over some difficult translation he came across in his French homework, he could not help a smile. He cherished every moment he shared with Suzaku and he knew no matter how dense or thoughtless the other could be, he would still care for him and love him nonetheless. It was somewhat unfair.

"I think I have to go," Suzaku suddenly said. "It's already this late."

Glancing at the clock on the wall, Lelouch realized that indeed it was late. But when he watched Suzaku preparing to take his leave he bit his lip. He did not want Suzaku to leave. He wanted Suzaku to stay. He wanted Suzaku to…

Well…

Stay.

"You… can stay the night… if you want," he said, trying not to show the anxiety in him as he said those words by playing apathy. But when he saw how those eyes regarding him with his silent gaze, he knew Suzaku understood his obscured intention. Suzaku had always been good at reading him so of course he should not have been surprised that he could also read the hidden meaning behind his words well.

He gulped, waiting for an answer. But what came next was not an answer. Instead, it was a hand, caressing his cheek so lovingly. Suzaku's hand, he thought. And he could see Suzaku smiling tenderly at him.

"Do you," Suzaku said. "Really trust me to…"

"Yes," he answered even before Suzaku finished his sentence. "This is… I want to give you this. Suzaku…"

He held Suzaku's hand that was still caressing his cheek.

"I cannot give you my first love, as I have given it to Schneizel," he tried to explain. "I cannot give you my first kiss. I cannot give you anything. But I can give you this. And I know there is no one deserving this more than you. I love you, Suzaku, and yes, I really trust you to be the one."

A moment of pregnant silence fell upon them before Suzaku gave him a beatific smile.

"And I shall never betray your trust, Lelouch," Suzaku said before he bent down slightly to kiss him. And he, upon receiving the kiss, could only close his eyes as a sense of bliss overflowed in him. He felt so relieved that Suzaku could accept his offer. He felt so glad that Suzaku could accept him. He felt so glad until he could feel a smile on his lips when Suzaku finally released his lips.

Staring into those eyes, he felt with all his senses that it was Suzaku, his Suzaku, who stood in front of him. It was Suzaku who kissed him. It was Suzaku who led him to his bed and lowered himself ever so gently to it. It was Suzaku who smiled tenderly at him. It was Suzaku who nibbled on his neck playfully and made him chuckle at the sensation it caused.

It was Suzaku, he thought as he circled his arms around the other's neck as he arched his back to offer him his kiss.

It was Suzaku, who loved him, he thought as they shared that kiss. It was Suzaku whom he loved, he thought as he recalled their memories together. It was Suzaku, his Suzaku, who did so many unspeakable things to him and with him that night, who made him experience numerous emotions, who held him tenderly as he cling onto his shoulders. Suzaku, and no other, who managed to make him laugh, cry, beg, grant, and love that night.

Truly, Lelouch vi Britannia thought with a smile upon his lips, with Suzaku's body hovering above him, with his hand entwined with Suzaku's hand on the creased bed sheets, it was his Suzaku, and he would never have it any other way.

- end chapter 11 –

(A/N: so… we did tell you this is a Schneizel-Suzaku-Lelouch fanfiction, right? Though if you feel dissatisfied at the turn of things, like always you can throw us something nasty to show your displeasure. Yeah, well, it's the eleventh chapter already and this story is nearing its end. We thank you for reading up until this point and any comment you might give us will surely be appreciated.)