"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'" – Sam Levenson
Chapter Twelve
Things have been crazy around here. With Bella in recovery none of us have really had any alone time. Whenever anyone talks it's usually about Bella. Mostly because she wasn't getting much better. I was worried for her, mostly because it would be my fault if something happened to her and I couldn't live with that.
I needed her to get better. She had been going alright up until a few days ago. She stopped eating because she was getting sick.
"Carlisle." I called. He appeared.
"I think we should take Bella back to the hospital and get some x-rays… make sure it hasn't come back… we should have given her radiation or something." I said shaking my head.
"And you think this is best?" he asked. I nodded. We walked back in by Bella.
"Bella, we need to take you back to the hospital for some x-rays and maybe a bit of radiation." Carlisle said.
"I don't want to go back… I'm just fine…" She said. She didn't look just fine.
"Carlisle… we need to get her out of here." I said but it was too late. She started throwing up blood.
"Jasper leave!" Carlisle said. Jasper left. Edward got a bucket. Alice was helping. I looked at Emmett he was in pain.
"Em go find Jasper." I said and turned back to Bella.
"Carlisle we need to get her back. She left too early… I knew it was a bad idea." I muttered. We raced her to the hospital. We got her into an x-ray immediately. I shook my head.
"Carlisle, we should've put her in radiation. She needs to go now… and it'll have to be a bit more intense than it should be…" I said shaking my head as I looked over her x-rays. I sighed.
"Lorelai this isn't your fault." He said. I nodded. He wheeled her off to the radiation center. I paced around the waiting room. Edward stared out the window and Jasper and Emmett came in and sat down next to Alice.
"How is she?" Emmett asked. He was so caring.
"She's in radiation." Alice whispered. I balled my hands into fists. I was so upset that I didn't catch this before. This could very well cost Bella her life and everyone knew it. I just wanted to break something.
"Lorelai… are you okay?" Jasper whispered.
"Yeah why?" I snapped.
"Because you keep switching from hate, to furry, to sadness. It's driving me mad." He said.
"Oh sorry." I muttered and kept on pacing. I felt big hands wrap around my waist. They locked me in from moving. I stared straight ahead.
"Lorelai…" Emmett whispered. I turned around with tears in my eyes.
"What's the matter?" he whispered.
"I should've seen this… I'm a doctor… I should've known… I should've seen this coming… if she… it'll be my fault!" I cried into his chest.
"Lorelai, you're only human, we make mistakes… and Bella won't die." Emmett said.
"That's just it… I'm not human, I should've known." I cried. Emmett held me because truthfully he knew I was right. If Bella died, it'd be my fault. Carlisle came into the room.
"Lorelai, I need to see you." He said. I hurried from the room.
"What's going on?" I whispered as the tears streamed madly down my face.
"The cancer has spread… it's moving to more of her organs. But we've got donors here and we'll put them in and it should fix this… but I'll need your help… it'll be an all day thing. So pull yourself together and I'll brief Bella about what's happening while you tell the kids." Carlisle said and walked away again as quickly as he came. I hurried back to the waiting room.
"What's going on?" Emmett asked.
"Um… Bella needs another surgery… the cancer has spread… into other organs but we have donors and if we replace them… the cancer should be gone. All she has to do is take to the organs and some rehab…" I said. Edward punched a window. It shattered.
"And then what happens when that isn't the answer… what else will you do to her before she's just completely lifeless?" He asked in a merciless tone.
"Lorelai, there's no point to save her. Even if you do save her she'll end up dying at some point so what's the point if she goes now or later?" He asked. His voice was hard and cruel.
"Lorelai, we're killers… nothing will change that." Edward said. He turned and his face was bleak but he had tears running down his face.
"Edward Cullen, I promise you. I will save her even if it kills me. I will not go down with out a fight. She will pull through this. And you will be there when she gets out. Now pull yourself together damnit! Edward Bella's scared and needs her family, which is us. So now shape up or I'll beat your ass until you see things clearly." I said the anger was rising to my checks.
"You won't save her. Because you can't." He said. I lunged for his throat. I smashed his head against the window. It also shattered.
"Damnit Edward. You'd better realize that you this isn't about you. So stop throwing yourself a pity party because no one is coming. Now you will go in by Bella and you will see her off to her surgery and whether or not your there when she comes out… well that's your choice but so god help me, you will see her off. Or I'll end your days rather quickly." I growled at him. I pushed him threw the broken window. He fell into the bushes below the window.
"I'll see you in Bella's room and Edward better be there. I'm not messing around." I barked. I headed out of the waiting room. I ran into Carlisle.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Nothing." I barked. I headed in by Bella.
"Hey Bella, how you doing?" I asked. I plastered a fake smile on.
"I'm okay… You will be there helping Carlisle right?" She whispered. She was scared terrified.
"Of course… nothing's going to happen to you. We will fix you… I know how silly it sounds but you'll be as good as new… only this time… we'll keep you in here longer." I smiled a sad smile.
"Where is everyone else?" She whispered.
"They're here somewhere… would you like me to find them?" I asked.
"No, its better they don't see me like this… I'm a mess." She whispered. She looked sad.
"Do you mind if I stay?" I asked softly.
"Sure." She whispered. She and I talked about things light and fluffy. She asked about my power. Edward had mentioned it. I smiled at her.
"Okay Bella…" Carlisle said. "I'll take you to surgery… Lorelai get some scrubs." He said. I nodded and headed over to the waiting room. Everyone was still there.
"Edward what the hell's wrong with you?" I shouted crazy-eyed. I was wild. "She's scared and wants her love there to see her off and tell her it's all right and that you love her… but none of you went to see her! Not one of you! What the hell's wrong with you people?" I shouted.
"If she's going to die, I don't want to see it." Edward said. I laughed.
"She'll die someday and you'll be there but you won't be there when danger's present? Pansy." I shouted. I lunged for him and he was ready this time. I let a loud snarl escape my lips. We started fighting. Until hands grabbed my waist.
"Let me go!" I shouted clawing towards Edward who was still crouched down.
"Lorelai… what's gotten into you?" Emmett asked. I turned around and stared him in the eyes.
"I've lost all of my family. I can't lose her, Emmett. And I basically killed her and I feel horrible and then Edward won't see her and I don't understand why. I shook my head.
"I guess I don't know you after all." I said and I pushed him out of my way and headed to Bella's surgery. I got there and scrubbed in.
"Everything okay?" Carlisle asked.
"Yes." I said. I smiled at Bella. I was about to say something when someone burst into the O.R.
"Bella, I love you and you'll be fine! I'll see you when you get out!" it was Edward. He had tears in his eyes. The rest of our family was behind him including Esme.
"Bella we love you and we'll be waiting up there…" Alice pointed with her hand to the room above the O.R. "… See you soon." Alice smiled. They all headed out and were upstairs. Edward was standing at the window.
Thank you Edward.
He nodded.
"Tonight's a great night to save lives." I smiled. We put Bella to sleep and started the transplants. We worked for hours. Carlisle had just put in the liver when she started to code.
"She's coding! Get the crash cart!" Carlisle ordered. I quickly followed his orders.
"She's not responding!" I cried.
Hit or Miss? I'm thinking I'll do two more chapters… maybe three. (And yes I've planned a happier ending.)
Songs I recommend:
Here Comes the Moon – George Harrison
How to Save a Life – The Fray