Zealot Cave here,
Let the purging of hell begin! That's right, everybody, with the help of Dino-Cave-1, Dino-Cave-2, Dino-Cave-3 and all the way into the high 1000's, we've officially been able to magic ourselves into the underworld and have begun to spread the word of Caveology. At first, my plan was to convert all the millions of demons with one horn sticking out of their foreheads into Aperture Science, but it quickly went wrong when the simple mentioning of the very word Caveology made them burn to death. Thing is, it's the underworld, so they just came back after a few years which, in Hell, is a few seconds. Since putting high-tech television screens all over the underworld with the word 'Caveology' buzzing, which is to say practically littering the place's walls with 'em, everything ever down there is just dying and will continue to do so forever, which means we've essentially bought Hell.
Incidentally, Aperture is no longer Aperture; the symbol isn't anywhere near that, either. Instead, it's a rough outline of my face with the word Caveology next to it. Let's be honest, the only ones who are getting this email are the 20 remaining test subjects in the building. Once again with the help of Dino-Cave's, we've effectively mashed every test sphere together to create the very entity we call the Superbanana!
The bad news? Humans can't even live in it, and since Caveology's nothing but a Superbanana, that means no one is seeing this email except for thousands of very illiterate dinosaurs with my face sewn on to what used to be theirs. To the twenty remaining subjects, good riddance. Another good riddance is also to Science itself. I was contemplating setting up shop on the Moon but then I remembered that one of the rules of Caveology is not to stray away from home because space is God-Cave's universe and he doesn't want the damn thing touched by monkeys or time-worn dinosaurs or lesser versions of him, which is me.
One of the rules, unfortunately, is never to make friends with dinosaurs. I know what you're thinking, "Cave, God-Cave's got you by the short legs and curly beams of metal sticking out of your back," but he hasn't because if he'd been able to foresee the future and/or my motives, he'd know that I'm going to be staging the next level of Caveology… the purging of Cave's. Here's the plan, I'm going to get all thousands of Dino-Cave's on my side and then we're going to traverse the multiverse in search of every Cave that's every existed ever in any universe.
My past science antics would tell me that I would instantly cease to exist if this were to happen, but my antics also tell me that'll kill off any Cave ever, which mathematically decreases the time at which I'd need to kill all Cave's in every universe dramatically, which means that I'm getting to that plan as soon as monkey-ly possible.
Z. Cave, we're done here.