Legalities: Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke and the CW Network. I am not making any money from this. I am simply playing in the amazing sandbox that is the Supernatural Universe.

Warnings: This is my take on what would have been bad enough to send Sam into a confessional as a child. Taken from a comment made by Sam in the season 8 finale "Sacrifice".

It's unabashed hurt Winchester. Dean suffers because of a choice that Sam makes in a moment of selfish anger. Will he get the chance to make things right before Dean is destroyed forever? Can their father put aside his own obsessive anger and his need to hunt long enough to track down both Sam and Dean? Or will his obsession destroy his sons.

If you do not like the violence, then DO NOT read this story. It revolves around the brothers and their relationship and this idea wouldn't leave me alone. So here is my take on the one and only time Sam confessed his greatest sins.

Rating: T with possible upgrade to MA at a later point if it takes a really dark turn.

NO SLASH/ BROTHERLY LOVE AND FAMILY ANGST ONLY

Please Review if you want to see this one continue.

Chapter Six

Origins

Sam stared blank-faced at his teacher. The woman had asked him a question some time ago, he could tell by the irritated look on her haggard face that she was waiting for an answer and she wasn't happy about it. He couldn't even muster enough energy to try and recall what she'd been talking about. An ache behind his eyes had him reaching up and pinching at the bridge of his nose. The other students snickered.

"Sam? Did you hear me?" The high-pitched nasal voice cut through Sam's thoughts and he pulled his gaze toward the woman and just shrugged. She frowned at the response and folded her arms across her ample chest. "Would you like to teach the class?" She asked flippantly.

Sam's eyebrows cut down. "Uh…no." What are you kidding me? He thought with irritation. It wasn't like the woman knew what was going on at home. No one ever knew what was happening in his life, because he couldn't talk to anyone outside of Dean…and his father, when the man bothered to be around.

"Well, then would you like to pay attention?" She reached up and shoved her thick glasses up her bulbous nose before turning back to the blackboard. The woman had yellow chalk on her elbow he noticed absently. His eyes shifted up to the equation she was writing and he was reminded that he was in Algebra class. But he couldn't bring himself to care. Thoughts of Dean and where he was, kept pulling his attention away from what he should be paying attention to.

The science competition was at the end of the week and he just didn't care any more. None of this made any difference if he lost Dean. Sam shrank down in the seat in an effort to be more invisible to the eagle-eyed old hag teaching the class. A small part of him almost smirked at the description; it was totally something that Dean would've said. Except that he would have said it out loud. Today marked the fourth day that his older brother had been missing.

Bobby and their father had gone back to that Danny character twice trying to get more information, but the guy flat out didn't know anything else. The fight was set for Friday night and the location was some crappy barn out off of Route 6. Sam shook his head as he thought of the conversation between his father and the unfortunate man that had stepped forward to help them.

Dean had gone missing on Friday. Their father had shown up on Sunday. And by Monday Bobby was in town too and it everything was a mess. Well, not as messy as it could have been, but messy. And then Danny had found them on Tuesday and his father and Bobby had interrogated the guy for the next twelve hours until they were satisfied that he was telling the truth about what he knew. The other problem was that unfortunately, Danny knew just enough to worry the hell out John Winchester…and that was never a good thing.

Sam must have zoned out again, because the rapping of knuckles on his desk startled him and he nearly punch his teacher in the stomach. She tilted her head to the side and raised an overgrown eyebrow at him. Her muddy brown eyes lifted to the glass window in the door. Sam's gaze followed hers. Bobby was standing there. "Your uncle is here to get you. Something about your brother." She glowered at him and walked away. Her large hips swaying up the aisle in a very non-sexy way as she headed back to the front of the room. The other students were staring at Sam, some were whispering, and others were simply giving him a sympathetic glance. Normally, it was a very bad thing when someone from the family pulls a student of class in the middle of the day.

A lump in Sam's throat had him swallowing before he gathered his unopened book and blank spiral bound notebook, dropping them into a simple black backpack. His eyes panned the room and then fell to the floor as he slipped past the other desks and out the door. Bobby smiled at him and ushered him outside. They were almost to the truck before the old hunter said anything and Sam was too scared to ask…so he stayed silent.

What if they'd found Dean? What if he was…the thought got lodged in his head and he wanted to scrub out the inside of his skull. Dean was not dead. Sam wasn't going to accept that truth. He reached out and opened the passenger side door, shoving his bag in and climbing up after it. He could smell some of the herbs that his father used to protect his gear from prying noses or the spells of certain witches. It was a slightly spicy smell that Sam could never quite figure out. One of the ingredients gave it a smell that reminded him of his father every time.

Bobby crawled in and reached down, turning the key and smiling when the engine turned over easily. He'd fixed the truck up for Sam's father on Dean's sixteenth birthday, when John had given the Impala to Dean as a present. Even their obsessed father had been able to see the emotional attachment that Dean had developed for the car. For him, it wasn't just a car…it was home. Sam blinked a few times at the burn in his eyes. He was pretty sure it was because of the dry air and not the emotions swirling around inside him.

"Sam…" Bobby started.

Sam's eyes flashed over to him and his fists clenched into tight balls of pent up energy. He stayed silent, but the older hunter could see the fear lurking just below the surface.

"We think we have a lead."

Sam sat forward and turned so he could see Bobby better. "You know where Dean is?" A tiny flicker of hope burst to life in his chest and he bit at his lower lip in anticipation. Maybe this was the break they were waiting for?

Bobby put the truck in gear and pulled out of the parking lot at the school. He sighed and watched the road carefully. "No. We don't know where he is."

And with that Sam's flicker died in a gush of ice cold water. He slumped back and folded his arms over his chest. "Then why pick me up from school? And where's my dad?"

The old hunter tried not to take the sullen response personally, but damn-it, that was hard when dealing with the Winchester boys. He loved these boys like his own. "The lead. We think this might have something to do with the case yer daddy was working in Spokane."

Sam's head snapped up. "What do you mean?"

"Yer not gonna like it." Bobby said simply as he pulled into the parking lot at the motel.

"There isn't anything about this that I like so far." Sam shot back. "So might as well tell me what you know." He thought for a fraction of a second and added. "Please."

Bobby took a deep breath. "John was hunting a demon."

Sam's eyes widened and he sucked in a ragged breath. "Demon? Those exist?"

A sardonic look from the other man had Sam rushing on. "No, I mean I know they exist…but they're here? On this plane with the rest of us?"

"Dean never told you why I became a hunter did he." It wasn't really a question and Sam found himself shaking his head 'no'. Bobby blew out a long slow breath and put the truck in park before turning to look at Sam. "My wife…she was possessed. I didn't know anything about the supernatural then and I…" His words drifted for a moment.

Sam knew that every hunter had a story like his and Deans. Someone in their life was killed by something that wasn't human. But he'd never really thought about what sent Bobby into this life. On some level he supposed that he'd always just thought that Bobby had started out as a hunter. Looking at the other man's destroyed face, he knew he'd been wrong. "What happened?" He whispered.

"You gotta understand that I had no clue what I was up against and my wife was trying to kill me." Bobby rushed on. Sam nodded but get silent. "I stabbed her…and she didn't die. That was when I knew something bad was happening…like really bad. Rufus burst through the door and sent that demon back to hell so fast…" The older man's face fell as he was bombarded with the crystal clear memory of that day. "He helped me deal with the body…I loved my wife Sam, but who ever that was in the kitchen that day…it wasn't her. That's what we're up against here…a demon."

Sam gulped and leaned against the door of the truck. It was one thing to know about the supernatural, but it was something else to know that demons walked the earth and possessed people. "And you guys think a demon has Dean?"

"Either that or possessed him. We don't know for sure."

"But…" Sam didn't know what to say next. His brain was having a difficult time processing what he'd just learned.

He wasn't prepared when his father pulled open the door he was leaning against and the sudden sensation of falling had him flailing his arms trying to grab anything. John grabbed his son before he could hit the hard ground. He tipped his head away as Sam lashed out as he tried to save himself.

A gust of wind caught the kid's long hair and flipped it into his face and for a moment all John could see was Mary. Just like with Dean, his wife had left pieces of herself in both of their sons and he found his words momentarily caught in his throat. His blue eyes flashed up to Bobby and then narrowed.

"You told him?" He growled out. "What the hell, Bobby?"

Sam slid out of the truck and landed on his feet with his fathers help. Bobby simply nodded and John groaned. He wanted Sam where he could keep an eye on the kid, but he hadn't wanted to tell him what they'd learned…not yet.

"A demon, dad?" Sam breathed. "That's a little out of our league, don't cha think?"

"Not as much as you think, Sammy." John answered. He had no intention of going into to details right now. Neither of his sons was in a place where they could handle the truth, not right now.

XXXX

Another dose of whatever that evil son of a bitch was giving him had Dean grabbing at his stomach as pain lanced through him. His ribs hurt from dry heaving and his head was slamming like rocking new years eve bash…but it wasn't a pleasant party for him. He'd finally sank to the floor, laying his hot cheek against the concrete. He'd been hoping that it would help lower the fever. Dean had never been into drugs or anything stronger than the one cigarette he'd tried when he was thirteen. His father had found him and made him smoke the entire pack, one right after the other. He'd never been so sick in his life…until now.

But he knew what certain drugs did when the body went into withdrawals. Although he definitely wasn't in withdrawal…he almost felt as though he was on the verge of over dosing. His hallucinations were getting worse. When he'd woke after the last stint in the ring, he could have sworn that he'd seen his brother. But that couldn't be right…Sam was safe with their father…wasn't he? The line between memories and visions was so blurred that he didn't trust anything anymore.

Dean drank some of the water that kept magically appearing, though he was trying not to touch the food. The warning from the kid in the hanging cage…HA! Hanging cage…like on the Cutthroat Island movie or something. He was doing that more and more often…drifting away from the present…off to somewhere else. Sometimes he'd fight and sometimes he'd be tortured with visions of Sam's death. He'd finally just shut down the last time. His brain was no longer able to deal with the images of a burning Sam. His captor had come in and tried to get his attention, but Dean had dropped into a catatonic state. The man had sworn and injected Dean with something new…that had sure as hell woke his ass up.

He'd spent the next few hours rocking in his cage, if he could have pace, he would have. His eyes would dart around and then back to the dim candle left burning just outside the bars. Dean found his eyes drawn to the black flame candle like nothing he'd ever seen before. Something about it mesmerized him and he'd simply stared at it until burned out…and then he'd felt like he'd lost his mother-fucking mind. He'd railed into the blackness about everything. All the things in his life that weren't fair or that he hadn't deserved…like Sam taking off on him.

He'd shaken that thought pretty quickly and then he was rolled into a sea of guilt when he thought that Sam had been taken from him by something. He'd never noticed the sweat rolling off his forehead and down his back…or the tremors that rippled through his body in a slowly building crescendo of pain. He'd blacked out somewhere in there…he wasn't a hundred percent when that had happened, but he knew he was missing time.

He crawled back to the pain that was his body and forced sticky eyelids open. He was staring at the teacher when his eyes finally focused and he lurched away from the man. An irrational anger started at his toes and worked its way up through his body until it his brain with a BANG! Dean launched himself at the bars of the cage, his face twisted into a snarl. The only thing running through his head was that this guy had killed Sammy over and over again…and he was going to rip his freaking lungs out because of that. "I'ma kill you…" Dean forced through clenched teeth.

"That's what I've been waiting for…you're ready for your first real bout." The teacher tossed a pair of MMA style shorts into the ring. "Put these on."

Dean shook his head and glared down at the black shorts. "No." He ground out.

"You don't change, I'll drug you again and I'll send you in buck-ass naked." He smiled with sinister intent. "The clients would love that."

Twenty minutes later Dean was changed into shorts that were too big and he found himself being shoved in the small of his back through throngs of people. He could feel the gazes of the people as he was pushed into the ring.

Long almost bony fingers raked along his bare skin as he lost his balance and nearly landed in the crowd. The shorts he'd been given were way too big and kept sagging in all the wrong places. He was so hungry that his stomach actually started cramping up painfully around the little big of water he'd managed to keep down. The temperature that he knew he was running was flaring droplets of sweat ran down his spine in rivulets.

He'd received several more injections through out his time here and he'd been tossed in the ring a couple more times and his brain and body were done. But this was the first time that there was a crowd and he hated the feeling of being on display. Dean knew that he put on a good show…but to be completely honest he hated people looking at him…hated being the center of attention. It had always been Sam that wanted to be seen…not Dean. The thought of Sam sent off a spiral of pain and regret as the smell of burning flesh invaded his nose and almost brought him to his knees.

Once the gate slammed shut behind him, he glanced up to a smaller boy. He appeared to be the same size as the one from the other cage…and he was staring at Dean from across the ring. It was the first time that Dean had seen the kid clearly…and his heart dropped when he could finally make out the facial features.

"No…" Dean whispered. His shoulders sagged and his knees went weak with rejection. The kid looked exactly like Sam.

TBC…

Author's Note: So Sam, John, and Bobby have some clues to work on. The question is, can they find Dean before his mind is destroyed and the demon get what he wants? Can Dean face the figure across from him in the ring? Is it Sam or something else? The confusion will be cleared up in the next couple of chapters. Don't worry, I DO NOT write death fics, so Dean will be returned to his bad-ass self by the end of the story and Sam will wind up in a confessional for the first time in his life.

I can't thank you guys enough for posting the amazing reviews, like from: BranchSuper, Tricia, babyreaper, kracken96, mb64, general yumi, several (guests!), Helinahandcart, sylvie-winchester, WRATH77, janiekm, dandy44, Kaneswolf, Nina Ferraro, Beakers47, and Idreamofivan (who asked a very good question). Thank you all very very very very much!

PLEASE REVIEW: I just want to make sure that it's slowly clearing things up.