AN: (Sorry for yet another angst-y chapter- I'll try to write something fluffy this week). Thanks for reading!
Their eyes are on him instantly, and even through Snow's tears and the single, anguished sob David releases, Killian knows they're preparing their trembling hands to hold him up.
His legs want to fall out from under him, but he won't let them, even knowing the Charmings would catch him before he could hit the ground.
(It's Robin who catches Regina as she falls, a stream of apologies and curse words falling from her mouth).
Killian knows what the four of them are awaiting in the silence that follows, as Regina clutches tight to her beloved and David helps his wife stand upright against the pain. They are braced for his rage, his desire for vengeance always laying under the surface, holding out for a moment like this one to be set free.
But Killian cannot muster the fury.
He knows it will come, in time, with the days and weeks that will drag tirelessly on without her- but in that exact moment, Killian felt only two emotions:
First, and most prevalent, was grief. An overwhelming ache resides in his chest, greater than any he'd previously experienced, making his blood throb painfully through his veins. There's loss weighing on his shoulders, yet he will be forced to bear it, to weather these storms as he always has before.
Secondly, Killian felt faith. It came in the form of Emma's touch in that last, terrible moment before she'd disappeared, in her promise of a time when they'd be together again- and even if Killian knew she didn't believe the words yet, she would one day soon.
(He already did).
He knew it by the determination that rose from the abyss in his heart; he would see her again. He wouldn't rest until he brought her home, until she was back with her family and back in his arms.
Killian feels his aching, heavy body turn towards the others. He feels his jaw clench into a hard edge, his teeth line with bitter conviction. "We'll find her." He hears himself tell the assembled. He meets the eyes of her mother and father, watches them take in the pure resolve behind his words.
And like a spell being broken, Killian sees the moment it settles in their minds. Regina lifts her chin, regaining the queenly composure, and Snow straightens her back, supporting her own weight. David shares a look of understanding with him, nodding resolutely.
It is a lesson Emma had tried to teach him, time and again. A lesson which, after her sacrifice, he's now prepared to learn. And if any villain can become a hero, then he will. He will find her, he will never stop looking, not until he can once again feel the thrum of her heart beneath his palm.
Killian turns his eyes away from the others, prepared to begin the long journey that lays ahead. It won't be easy, but he thinks with the sad edge of a smile that a hero's path never is. Even as the full force of loss hits him, Killian feels something else that helps to bear the weight.
Hope.