Okay hello for the second time, yes well when i put this up last night i forgot that it seems to delete everything but the first line so that was why you only got the one line chapter, so sorry for that and i cant say sorry enough for not updating in a while, writers block and a busy school schedule will do that to anyone. But now that this is up i should be continuing as normal.
I do not own 'Doctor Who?'
Enjoy
XXX
Recap
The Doctor leaned on the door frame staring at the woman on the bed asleep with a book fallen to her side, pushing off walked over and sat on the bed next to her.
"Who are you?" he whispered tucking hair behind her ear as the door closed by itself enveloping them in the dim glow of the bedside candle.
XXX
It had started out so well, were off to see a new nebula and then we had to make a detour... I should have known something was going to go wrong after that it always does... a different time on earth, 3321, it looked amazing we had fun and then like always we ran into trouble, only this was something i was not looking forward to, I had to kill jack when i next saw him, stupid vortex manipulators... Anyway the enemy so to speak is none other than the Family of blood... God when this was over maybe i could force the man into an early 11th, lord knows what would happen then. So now we were running back to the TARDIS the family on our tail, the Doctor threw the door open and ran in with Martha, i shoot a few blasts from the sonic blaster and bolt inside closing the door.
I guess i should mention that in the last two months i had a lot of practice using that little gem, i had become rather good with it. The central console of the TARDIS is sparking crazily as Martha and the Doctor start to pick themselves up off the floor, I run to the console ignoring them. The doctor dashes to Martha, grabs her hand and pulls her up to her feet, then pulls her eye to eye.
"Did they see you?" he asked urgently, i hit a series of buttons and move over to the right panel,
"I don't know!" I hear my friend shout,
"Did they see you?" he repeated in the same tone, i could just imagine him shaking her shoulders slightly, i pulled a lever and pulled another beside me on the opposite panel,
"I don't know, I was too busy running!" she snaps at him, i tense my instinct to snarl at her for snapping at my link almost over-powering, that was another thing i learnt, the longer i spent with him the stronger my link to him was, at times i hear his thoughts, and they make me nervous, he was wondering things, he felt like he had a connection to me, thankfully he hadn't tried to enter my mind since Manhattan, i tried distancing myself from him i really did, but sometimes i would wake up in the mornings with him holding me like the last two times, possessively, i had also sat by his bed a number of times to calm his nightmares,
"Martha, it's important - did they see your face?" he asked urgently knocking me from my thoughts again,
"No, they couldn't have!" Martha finally answers as i hit another lever,
"Come on girl, calm down, your gonna be fine." i whisper to the TARDIS.
"Phoenix?" the doctor questions the same urgency in his voice as when he had asked Martha,
"Can't be sure, i think they were more focused on avoiding my blaster." I answer "Now get over here and help me you idiot." i snap reaching across the console hitting another button and using my foot to pull down a lever, not hiding that i could fly the TARDIS now, i had been discreet but now was not the time for that.
"You're... but... how?" he stutters,
"We don't have time for this, hurry up and help, ask questions later, moron." i snap, pressing another button and moving two pannels to the left, the doctor runs round the console and starts playing with controls that i hadn't set.
"Off we go!" he shouts throwing the final lever, Martha comes to stand beside us watching the time router intently when the beep i had been dreading finally made itself known.
"Ahhh!" the doctor groans in annoyance grab the console screen and reads it.
"They're following us." he stated, he comes back to the controls as i had yet to leave them knowing what was coming,
"How can they do that, you've got a time machine." Martha asks,
"Stolen technology, they've got a Time Agent's vortex manipulator." i cut in
"I'll kill Jack when we find him." i grouse as i hit another series of buttons,
"They can follow us wherever we go, right across the universe-" he paused "they're never going to stop." He runs a hand through his hair nervously and stares; then an idea comes to him.
"Unless...I'll have to do it..." I groan loudly now, the freeze, Martha was going to find out... He stares into Martha's eyes.
"Martha, you trust me don't you?" he asked,
"Of course I do." she answered, he looked over at me inquisitively, i sigh rubbing my temples,
"As stupid as a plan this is, i trust you and know the out come." i sigh,
"Good. Cause it all depends on you." he said looking back at Martha,
"Well then when are we leaving?" i ask curiously. he looks over at me again,
"You staying in here Phoenix." he says, i look at him.
"What?" i deadpan. He ignores me as he dives below the console to retrieve what i know to be the watch, Martha watches on in confusion.
"What does, what am I supposed to do?" she asked, the doctor reappears holding an ornate pocket watch aloft. Martha looks at it, realizing she had seen this thing before, she looked at me away from the doctor, i shake my head slightly bringing my hand up to my necklace before making a shushing motion.
"Take this watch, 'cause my life depends on it. The watch, Martha- The watch is-"
XXX
I had been living in the TARDIS for two months now and it was strange not hearing the old girl talk to me, i felt empty, the link felt cut off. Martha visited me quite a lot and filled me in on John Smith, and how he was doing, her first visit had been filled with questions and answers...
XXX
Martha walked into the TARDIS in her maid uniform, i felt disgust that in this time period she had been demeaned to this when she was so much smarted,
"Hello Martha." i greet, she smiled before talking,
"You have the same watch as him." that was her greeting, i sigh and sit against the console,
"Yes." I answer.
"He thinks he's alone."
"He does, and he must." i say.
"Why. it hurts him," she whispers,
"You don't think in know that? I deal with his nightmares, with his thoughts and feelings. He must think he's alone so i don't change the future, and... i shouldn't be, I'm the daughter of a star, i shouldn't be, i cant be a, timelord? Timelady? i don't know, i just, i know his future, he has a wife in the future, i would love to meet her and maybe i will, but i change so much just by traveling with him... I'm not possible, i shouldn't exist... Time can be rewritten, but not this much, not without consequences, things i change they're minor, or i just speed things along, but anything that is major, i cant change for risk of corrupting timelines." i sigh looking at her.
"So your not the real you then?" she asked timidly,
"I'm part of what i am as a timelord, my personality is probably like this with just a few quirks, just like John is part of the doctor. the most human part, this me is influenced by my star side." i explain. she nods...
XXX
That had been one of the many conversations we've had, the doctor had dreamed of us, i had told her that was part of his consciounce sneaking through, I didn't pretend to know everything, just what i knew from the show, i didn't think to mention the Master's nice personallity as a human... i hope to god that I'm not messed up in the head like that... I had been sitting in the console room last week when Martha came in with very surprising news.
XXX
I was looking at the console feeling empty as the link felt cold on my back, come to think of it i remember when we met Will, in London the doctor had touched my back where he had pulled Martha and i away from the falling contents of a bucket and that was when i had felt the burning sensation... The door squeaked open to my surprise, Martha wasn't due for a visit for another few days.
"Martha, what are you doing here so early?" i questioned, she came in not answering my question, but she was grinning and i had come to recognize this look as she was up to something, and at this moment in time it unsettled me, she produced an envelope and handed it over.
"This is for you." i suppressed the urge to ask questions and broke the seal pulling a letter from within and a small piece of paper tucked in behind it. looking at the picture i gaped, it was me... in a Victorian dress, smiling a full on beam. i looked at the letter in my hands and put the picture down unfolding it and reading it.
'My Darling Blaze,
It has been a long two months away from you and i find myself missing your presence.
The picture i am sure you have seen is what i remember our last time together to be as
I promised to be back soon. However i know that my memory will not do justice to your
beauty. I wonder how our children are doing, if Alex is taking his first steps now and
if Jenny is riding the bicycle we gave her for her Birthday, and now the final reason
this letter, i wish for you to join me this last month Darling, the days grow unbarable
without you by my side feeling the light of your smile. Write me back soon love and let
me know if you are able to join me, though leave the children with your mother as they
shouldn't travel just yet.
Forever yours,
John.'
By the end of the letter i was in shock and more than a little red, Martha was grinning like a fool, i look over at her sharply,
"What brought this on?" she shrugged,
"He woke up this morning and started talking about his wife Blaze how he missed her and that he was going to ask her to come stay the final month of his 'contract' with him... His Burning star." I groan as she said the last bit,
"That's where he got the wife bit from." she looked confused, "Remember when we met will, he named me his wife because he didn't like the way he was leering at me?" she nodded "well Will called me a Timeless Burning Star." i explain, she nodded again,
"Okay i get that but what's Blaze about?" i sigh,
"The day you met us when the idiot kissed you. We went after the Plasmavore and again i posed as his wife, he called me Blaze. Oh and you'll never guess the best bit of this new life i have to live, John an I have children." this time Martha choked on air, "Yup Alex and Jenny..." I knew those names well, Alex the little girl i left behind, a flash of her blue eyes and golden curls come before my eyes, and then Jenny, the blonde haired woman that would be born out of a machine, intended to be a soldier only to stop the war and give her life for him... her blonde hair and brown eyes. i shake my head.
"Well are you going to go?" She asked, debating it i look over,
"Has the nurse Joan Redfern shown interest in him?" she look a little surprised as she hadn't mentioned that name to me but none the less i wave it off and prompt an answer with a raised eyes brow.
"Yes but how-" i cut her off
"Doesn't matter now, I'll have to go, save the poor woman from heartbreak." I sigh rolling my shoulders, i had better write a letter to him, god... "I'm going to have to wear a corset." I exclaim in horror, Martha laughed. i glare at her, i hated that piece of clothing with a passion, the last i wore it was in my old reality, school had done an 18th century festival and i had been picked to be one of the high classed ladies that had to be decked out in the full regalia, it was damn well hard to breath, and i don't think the doctor would take to well to my heart stopping again as it had twice on him already. "I had better write him a letter telling him i would be there within the week, would you be a dear and pick out a dress for me Martha." i ask, she nodded and went in search of a dress.
Sighing i went to my room, finding ink and paper, as well as a quill on my desk, where this came from i don't know but i didn't care at this moment, i had to write a letter as though it were coming from a loving wife, after 3 attempts i came up with something fairly acceptable,
'My Beloved John,
Looking at the picture you have sent, shows me that you have made me more than myself,
your smiles have been dearly missed in my heart and this last two months have been trying
without you. Alex has not taken his first steps though he is trying in earnest so that he
can walk to greet his amazing daddy when he comes back home, Jenny, is doing well riding
her bicycle and is often out with friends, she is growing so fast and it both warms and
pains my heart that our little girl is growing so fast. They both miss you dearly John
and eagerly await your return to home. In truth i had been planning to travel to you as i
have felt as though the other half of my heart has been torn from my grasp, Mother would
delight in taking care of the children whilst i spend the last month with you, though i
will perhaps be anxious leaving little Alex without me. I will see you soon, My Love.
Always and Forever
Blaze.'
Putting the quill down i read over the letter and scoffed at how cliche that sounded, it was to loving but the women of the century are indeed like this with their husband and such, placing it in an envelope i write the address and go in search of the wardrobe for Martha.
Finding her in the wardrobe had been a trying task but when i did i was surprised when i found her packing a suitcase and a dress hanging behind her.
"Well you seem busy Martha." i say in amusement, she looked up and grinned,
"Well i had to pack for you miss, you would take forever to decide on a dress for the occasion." she spoke in a proper tone and i cringed, "Got the letter done?"
"After a few horrible attempts i have written a response suitable for the time, is that the dress i am to be wearing next week?" i asked looking behind her, (Link on profile) it was beautiful and i knew it was going to be hell breathing at all... I sigh
XXX
And now here i was dressed in the blue dress, i had practiced my speech and could speak in the proper way though i hated it, my hair was done by Martha
(Link on profile) suitcase in hand and walking with Martha, oh right i also had the wedding rings on, (Links also on profile)
A red headed maid came running towards us, Martha looked at her with a smile,
"Martha!" she shouted,
"Jenny? What's the matter?" finally Jenny stands in front of us, out of breath looking at her,
"It's Mr Smith, He's fallen down the stairs!" she exclaimed, getting into character was a little hard but managable,
"Smith? John Smith?" I as worriedly, Jenny looks at me in curiosity,
"Yes Miss..." she answered uncertainly,
"Is he alright, where is he?" i continue to question,
"In his study miss." Jenny explained,
"Thank you Jen, I'll show you the way Ma'am." Martha said, i let out a sigh of exasperation,
"Martha, how many times must i ask you to call me by my name, we are friends." she smiled,
"Forgive me M-Blaze, come on then i'll show you to him. Bye Jenny." she called as we went off on our way. I look over at her,
"Believable?" i ask, she looked at me, grinning,
"Very, how did you get so good?" she questioned, i shrug,
"Victorian romance novels, and acting classes in school. Now come on we had better get there quickly." I sigh gesturing for her to lead the way, and so we walked as fast as we could, reaching the door we hear his voice,
"Because it hurts!" putting on a concerned look I nod at Martha, she throws the door open in concern
"Is he alright?" she questions,
"Excuse me, Martha. It's hardly good form to enter a master's study without knocking." a voice reprimands, god her voice sounds so high and mighty,
"Sorry, right, yeah." Martha snapped annoyed before running out and knocking and walking back in. "But is he alright?" she asks looking at where i assume the d- John is, this was going to be a long few days. "They said you fell down the stairs, Sir." Martha said worried,
"No, it was just a tumble, that's all." he mumbled,
"Have you checked for concussion?" Martha asked snapping into doctor mode,
"I have. And I daresay I know a lot more about it than you." Joan snaps, i clear my throat and walk into the room,
"I would have to disagree Matron, Martha here is very skilled with medical matters as she often tends to my children when she is home." I look over at- John, "Honestly John, you just don't have your head screwed on right sometimes." i sigh shaking my head in exasperation, he looks stunned,
"Blaze." he whisper's in awe, he goes to get up, I hold my hand up to stop him walking over and crouching down in front of him, taking his hand i kiss it,
"Don't get up just yet, don't want you falling down again." i explain softly, Matron clears her throat,
"Excuse me miss?" she asked questioningly, i look over at her, before getting up,
"Forgive me I haven't introduced myself, my mind was not in a clear state. I am Blaze Smith." I say with a smile, it widens as she looked at the d- John,
"My wife." He clarifies, i shudder at how nice that sounds before shaking my head slightly, she looks at the rings on my finger and then to his hand seeing a gold band i had slipped onto his when i had grabbed it to kiss it. Sighing i look back at her,
"You'll have to forgive my husbands clumsiness, he has to much on his mind at times that he doesn't concentrate on the task at hand." he pouts and i give him a fond smile,
"I'll just..." she looks at The doctor and moves towards the desk "Tidy your things."
"I was just telling Nurse Redfern- Matron, um, about my dreams. They are quite remarkable tales." he said with a smile,
"Indeed they are, you've had them often enough and they are such wonderful tales for the children." i hear a sharp breath and look over at Matron, the doctor's eyes brighten at the mention of children and i felt my heart break, i would have to break his heart soon, I shake the guilt, "They send their love John." he smiles stupidly and nods before continuing his explanation,
"I keep imagining that I'm someone else, and that I'm hiding-" Joan cuts him off with a question,
"Hiding? In what way?" he scratches his head and rubs his neck, a trait of the doctor's when he tried to explain something without reprecussions,
"Um... er... almost every night..." he laughs "This is going to sound silly-" he said embarrassed, take his hand in mine,
"Silly, only makes you more interesting." I grin showing my teeth, he blushes and i cant help but find it amusing, if slightly bitter in my heart,
"I dream, quite often, that I have two hearts." he finally said,
"Well then, that's twice as much love for the love of adventure you have." i smile fondly, talking to the doctor and not the man in his place at the moment,
"You and the children you mean." My chest tightened at his words, this was going to be so difficult, to hear him say that as a human and know it can never be as who he is, what he really is and what we couldn't be...
"Well then, I can be the judge of that." Joan interrupts and i cant help but feel pity for her, i could sympathizes in a way, it was hard knowing the man you love belongs to someone else. Reaching into a battered doctor's bag, she draws out a stethoscope with a smile. Martha has been watching, but turns and walks away as Joan places the stethoscope against the doctor's chest. when she moves it to the right side of his chest my heart tightens knowing it's not there, i look away, it was only another reminder that he wouldn't be able to stay, i had to distance myself from him and that was going to be difficult. "I can confirm the diagnosis- just one heart, singular." Joan announces and from Martha's look she is disappointed, the doctor however just laughs at his silliness,
"I have written down some of these dreams in the form of fiction... um... not that it would be of any interest..." he says hesitantly,
"I'd be very interested..." she pauses looking at me, "Permitted you wouldn't mind Mrs Smith." i take a small breath and smile,
"Not at all Matron, I have each of his dreams memorized, I'm sure John will tell me of his new ones. And please call me Blaze." she nods, the doctor stands after squeezing my hand and moves to the desk.
"Well... I've never shown it to anyone other than Blaze before." he hadn't shown me, i had seen it and lived through some of it. He hands her a black leather-bound journal, and she reads the handwritten title on the first page.
"'Journal of Impossible Things'" i smile at it,
"Nothing is ever impossible, i myself look at the word and see, I'm possible." i comment absently, from the corner of my eye i see Johns face scrunch as though trying to remember something before shaking it off.
'Phoenix' my head snaps to the voice, the watch on the mantel, standing i go to it and pick it up,
"John, I didn't realize you still had this..." i say holding it up, he looks over and hums,
"Mmm, well your father did give it to me to pass onto our Son when we had Alex." I tighten my hold on it and nod, continuing to hold it close to my chest.
A picture of the central console is sketched on the first page of the book and fondness becomes my prominante emotion, then the monitor screen section, a detailed sketch of a gas-mask victim from his earlier encounter with the nanogenes as 9...
"Just look at these creatures!" She exclaims, fascinated, she turns the page again to reveal a Dalek in all its inked glory and my anger sparks before i calm slightly. "Such imagination." she breathes,
"Mmm. It's become quite a hobby." he answered. More pages, more sketches and pages of writing. The face of the Moxx of Balhoon gives way to a sketch of two Autons, then to the face of one of the clockwork robots that had tried to take the brain of Madame la Pompadour.
"It's wonderful. And quite an eye for the pretty girls." she said slyly, on the page was a picture of Rose, and beside her was me. I find it odd,
"Oh no no, she's Blaze's sister. Rose, her name is, Rose." I hear a slight longing in his tone and can't help wincing, "she seems to disappear later on..." Another page, another sketch, this time of a quartet of Cybermen - and in the top corner on the next page, a small sketch of the TARDIS. As the doctor explains it, there is a bigger, more detailed sketch further down the page.
"Ah, that's the box, the blue box, it's always there. Like a...like a magic carpet, this funny little box that transports me to far away places." he stutter's out,
"A TARDIS you once called it if i remember correctly dear." i put in, if i could give hints and make the transition easier for when he had to open the watch then i would.
'Phoenix.' the watch whispers again, this time in warning, I ignore it, i was so going to get it when he came back, so i wasn't going to stop now.
"Like a doorway?" Joan asks curiously, the doctor gives a noise of agreement, the next page is a mess of writing, but the pictures stand out brightly - the faces the doctor has had before the present incarnation.
"I sometimes think how magical life would be if things like this were true." I wince again, he wouldn't like it they way it's going to hit him,
"If only." Joan sighs forlornly,
"It's just a dream." he says laughing quietly, The next page has a familiar picture - the doctor's watch, inside and out. A school bell rings in the background, and Joan leaves the room with the journal. Martha runs to follow her leaving me alone with him. He stands and strides over to me pulling me into a tight hug, i find that i do not feel the warmth i usually get when he touches me, it just makes me feel guilty, still i hug him back so i don't make myself seem suspicious, "I've missed you Blaze." i keep myself from flinching at the name,
"As i have you, John." i relax into him as though he were the doctor and not a replacement, it's hard but manageable as i ignore the singular heartbeat. We stand there for a moment before he pulls back and tilts my chin, and before i can react he swiftly leans in and presses his lips to mine, i gasp forcing myself to kiss back, it's loving and brings tears to my eyes, this didn't mean anything, i wouldn't let myself get caught up in this temporary life. He finally pulls back and i take a breath before stepping out of his embrace and smiling, "You'll forgive me if i must leave a moment John, I must speak to the Matron about something of importance, but i'll be hear when you return from class and i may join you in history." he nods dazed as i walk out of the room leaving my suitcase there.
"-with him. Best remember your position." I hear Joan tell Martha and hide my anger behind a forced smile as i step out,
"Matron, I was wondering if i may have a word." she looks startled for a moment before nodding, i turn to Martha, "Martha dear, I hope you don't mind but could you head back to the study a moment i think i left something of mine in there, also i would like a word with you after." my smile is much kinder and more real than the one i had given Joan.
"Of course Ma'am- I mean Blaze." she corrects at the look i give her turning and leaving for the doctor's study. I turn back to Joan.
"Matron-" she cuts me off,
"Joan, Please." she insists, i nod,
"Joan, i wished to tell you that i can't blame you for feeling for him." she looks slightly affronted and offended,
"Blaze What-" she starts but i cut her off,
"It's written on your face Joan, I can see you care for him, and I can't blame you for it, because you aren't the first to fall for him, that isn't me... My, my sister, Rose was in love with him. He just has that personality that draws a woman in and makes her want to care... I know what you feel because it's how i started out." She looks down and her shame is clear across her face, "Joan it's not something to feel ashamed of, you aren't the first and you won't be the last, it's like he's from another world, and sometimes he really does give that impression very well." I say with a fond smile, "Really, I musn't keep you from your duties, but please do let me know if you need any help i wouldn't mind it in the slightest." she smiles and turns walking off with a small thank you.
Turning i walk back to the study to talk to Martha, knowing she had steam to work off about what Joan has said to her.
XXX
I had my things settled in Johns room after Martha had let off steam and boy was there steam, she had gone off on how she had tried to be better than her just because of her skin color and then it had moved to how she was in love with a married man, to which i had cut her off telling her that we weren't actually married, she had retorted with,
"Well that mark on your back may as well mean that." I knew she was right but i wasn't going to admit that to her, River was gonna be his wife, or she was going to be, and i held no grudge against her for that, she was an amazing woman, if slightly psychotic but that wasn't her fault. Anyway I had joined Martha on her pub run at her request, i was hesitant at first but she had just short of dragged me out the door, so i didn't have much of a choice.
Jenny is sat outside on the bench whilst Martha and I carry three pints over, Martha was wrapped tightly in a coat hat and gloves, i only had a coat as i didn't feel cold...
"Ooh, it's freezing out here! Why can't we have a drink inside the pub?" Martha moaned, i let out a laugh,
"Now don't be ridiculous - you do get these notions! It's all very well those Suffragettes; but that's London, that's miles away." Jenny scolded, i smile she was a great woman, the smile dimmed slightly, I couldn't save her... sighing i force the guilt back,
"But don't you want to scream sometimes, having to bow and scrape and behave, don't you just wanna tell them?" she rants, Jenny looks hesitantly at me, i wave her off,
"Oh don't mind me I agree with Martha, it was rather annoying when i was a maid." Jenny looked at me in surprise,
"You were a maid Miss?" she asked in disbelief, I smile and nod my head as Martha shot me an amused smile, i was going for cheesy romance story i may as well put effort into it right?
"I had been a maid in the smith house for a few years when I was placed under John as his personal maid, he was kind and gentle but a complete airhead." i laugh "Anyway after a year John decided that he liked me and tried to court me, I was a very stubborn girl, i insisted it wasn't proper but that didn't faze him in the slightest he was persistent and even told his parents, they had agreed after John had convinced them that i was his true love, he gave me gifts and after another year he finally wore me down and i allowed him to court me properly, six months later he proposes with a gorgeous ring and, his Mother had already had the wedding planned so it was only a month before we were married, Martha here, she was my best friend and found my attempts of trying to evade his courting hilarious. After the wedding she had pulled me aside to say 'I told you so.'" Martha was laughing, though not at the memory but how cheesy it sounded and how much like me it had sounded i imagine. "Anyway we seem to have strayed from the topic, what was your question Martha?" she smiled,
"Don't you want to scream sometimes, having to bow and scrape and behave, don't you just wanna tell them?" she repeated, Jenny smiles
"I dunno. Things must be different in your country." she muses,
"Yeah, well they are. Thank God I'm not staying." Martha laughs, Jenny frowns,
"You keep saying that."
"Just you wait. One more month and I'm as free as the wind. I wish you could come with me, Jenny - you'd love it!" i pinch her hand and shake my head subtly so she gets the message,
"Where are you gonna go?" she asked looking at us,
"Home." i say with a shrug, it was true, the old girl was my home now...
"Anywhere." Martha answers before gazing at the stars "Just look up there. Imagine you could go all the way out to the stars." she continues and i pinch her again. Jenny just laughs,
"You don't half say mad things!"
"That's where I'm going. Into the sky, all the way out." i smile, and look up, on earth this is one of the clearest nights i had ever seen, the stars aren't faded because of light pollution, i sigh wistfully, people really do ruin the wonders of the world sometimes. Suddenly, a green light flares into and out of existence in the night sky and I tense, this is where it starts. I had to keep my distance from him now...
"Did you see that?" I hear Martha ask, i nod and make a sound of agreement,
"See what?" Jenny questioned,
"Did you see it though?" she stands and i do as well, "Right up there, just for a second." she continues,
"Yeah, I saw it." i answer aloud this time.
"Martha, there's nothing there." Jenny denies, i grab her hand and squeeze, Martha wasn't convinced by Jenny's words. But sits down once more and we exchange looks, I nod to confirm the question in her eyes,
Yes, it's them.
"So Tell me Mrs Smith, How exactly did you draw Mr Smiths attention?" Jenny asks, looking over at Jenny I try to think of a lie,
"John, often tells me it was... my fighting spirit, truth be told I'm not all that ladylike, When i was a child, my brother Ethan and I would climb trees and play-fight in the mud, we even pretended to sword fight with sticks he was always so playful and looked up to me, even came to me when boys would pick on them so i would beat them up. No one made my brother feel bad without getting burned by me. John say my anger burns brighter than the stars, he calls me his burning star..."
"I cant help noticing miss that you use past tense when speaking of you brother." Jenny points out, I wince on instinct,
"Yes my brother passed at the age of 10 he was run down." I say before trying to move onto a different topic, "So tell me Jenny anyone special in your life?" I ask with a teasing tone, she flushes,
"No miss, but i'm still hoping." and like that we continue to talk... but i was on auto pilot, the day Ethan had died running through my mind.
...
"Ethan! Come on catch up!" i shout back to my little brother, he was a cute boy, he had green eyes and black hair. He was grinning and red in the face from chasing me, he pushed his speed and i slowed down as he tackled me i let out a yelp and he began tickling my sides,
"Gotcha!" he shouted i giggle and make half hearted attempts for him to stop,
"No, No stop i give give. You win oh mighty Ethan of speed." he grins and he sits up and i do to holding him in my lap, I was happy, he made me happy
"Allie?" he asks,
"Hmm?"
"You'll stay with me forever, right?" my eyes soften and i nod my head,
"Of course i will sweetie." i say as i hug him "I love you Ethan, you know that, right?" he nods
"Yeah, I love you to Allie."
...
We had been playing catch in the front garden about 2 hours later I had thrown the ball a tad to far, Ethan had went to get him,
"Ethan, Don't go on the road, I'll get it." i call, he stopped and turned to me with a pout,
"I can do it Allie, I'm a big boy, it's just there." he walked out before i could stop him,
"Ethan! Don't!" but he was already on the road he got to the other side his back facing right and picked up the ball, he grinned at me as he turned
"See!" i let out a sigh of relief,
"Come on, don't stand there-" i was cut off when i had heard a car horn, I looked and it was heading towards him, i cant see what car it is butt i turn o my brother, he had a grin on his face still, i didn't think i just reacted, my feet moved before my brain could tell them to i shouted "Ethan MOVE!" but then the car hit him, it didn't stop, it just carried on, i froze in place, before sprinting to him "ETHAN!" i got to his side and dropped down to his side and take his face between my hands the blood not registering, his eyes were closed, all i could think was 'He's unconscious.' so i lightly tapped his face. "Ethan, Ethan. Come on sweetie, wake up." i plead "Wake up." my voice cracked, I didn't want to think it, I didn't want to think he was head but I couldn't feel his breath on my hand and then i leant over his body and pressed my ear to his chest...
There wasn't a heartbeat...
I just lay there my ear to his chest, I don't remember how long, but i just couldn't hear a heartbeat, i didn't hear the man that had run up ask if we were alright, i didn't feel the tears rolling down my face.
He died on impact, the driver was doing 80 on a 20 MPH road and because of that i lost my brother, an innocent 10 year old boy, his blood was on my hands both literally and figuratively, I hadn't gotten there in time, I hadn't been more firm in telling him not to get the ball.
I kicked and screamed when the paramedic had turned up, he pulled me away from Ethan's body and i had to be held whilst he checked me over, i stopped struggling and just stared at his body laying there motionless, all i could think was, 'It should have been me. It's my fault.'
...
I couldn't get the blood off, his blood was on my hands, the first time i had washed his blood off i scrubbed my hands raw, I couldn't stop, they just wouldn't get clean. The process would repeat once in a while, I would look at my hands and i would see blood, his blood and i would try to get it off. I couldn't sleep without seeing him being hit by the car, slowly the image of the car got clearer, after about 6 months i knew it was a ford focus, light blue, license plate tr16 m7t4. I had been a mess for a while, he had died September 19th 2008.
When i knew what car I was looking for i found a security camera and hacked into the main frame, I brought up the footage of when he had been hit 16:53:02, I brought up the image of the driver and enhanced it, clearing the picture I printed his face and placed it on the wall, i used it for target practice with a knife.
A month later I had joined the gang and killed him, his name had been Martin Rune, he was divorced, no kids no family. It worked out better that way, i didn't have to take someones husband, son or father, I had slit his throat, quick, though i had wanted to make it longer. I was trapped in the gang after that and had earned my name 'Queen of Shadow'.
...
"Matron, are you alright?" I hear Martha ask snapping me out of my own hell of memories,
"Did you see that? There was something in the woods... this light..." Joan panted breathlessly, John comes out of the pub door and headed towards us,
"Anything wrong, ladies?" he grabs my hand "Far too cold to be standing around in the dark, don't you-" he was interupted by a frantic Joan,
"There!" she exclaims pointing into the night sky, the green flash appears again sooting off like a fallen star. "There, look in the sky!"
"That's beautiful." Jenny breathes
"There...orgom." he pauses thinking of the words, "Commonly known as a meteorite. It's just rocks falling to the ground, that's all." He assured, I cringe slightly, the doctor wouldn't dismiss anything like that, he would be excited and would want to investigate,
"It came down in the woods." Joan concluded, with a hint of panic,
"No, no no, they always look close, when actually they're miles off. Nothing left but a cinder." he sooths before looking at Joan and myself "Now, I should escort you back to the school." I knew it was less of an offer and more of a command and bit my tongue to keep from snapping that ii wasn't a dog he could order around, he turned to the girls and asked "Ladies?"
"No, we're fine, thanks." She declines absently as she continues staring into the sky,
"Then I shall bid you goodnight." he said putting on his hat and beginning to walk away,
"Just a moment John." i call back turning to Martha and taking her hand, "Be careful Martha. Jenny." I turn and walk over to John and he loops his hand around my waist, and again i note i dont get the burning snsation against my skin when he touches me.
XXX
I had woken up the way i had most days when the doctor sleeps in the same bed as me, trapped in his arms until he awoke, I didn't want to interact much with him so i faked sleep and he went about his rutine and left to get readyfor class, but not before placing a kiss on my forehead, and so i lay there waitting for martha to come in, I didn't wait long, she came in about 10 minutes later.
"I don't think i can do it." i said to her when she walked in. She looked at me questiioninly
"Do what?" i sigh as i it up and go about getting changed, Martha doing the lacing on my corset, it wasn't as bad as i remembered, it was really easy to breath,
"Being his wife, he's a person with feelings, yes he's supposed to be the doctor, and yes i know we have to open the watch, but i cant keep the loving wife act up and hurt him when the truth comes out, I can't have him hating me Martha, I look at him and-" i cut off when she pulls a string harder "All i see is what the doctor can't be, why john can't stay, I'm to selfish to be alone, he doesn't ramble, when he touches me i don't feel the burn of the link and when i rest my head against his chest i only hear one heart, each thing is a reminder of why i dont want him to stay. But then i think about the life he thinks he has, A wife called Blaze, two beautiful children, a teenage girl and a boy who hasn't taken his first steps yet. I don't want to be the one to take that from him when it is what keeps him together. I just can't do it Martha." I was shaking in my sadness, i had been dreaming of Ethan just the night prier and then i had to aadd even more guilt to my heart that i would be doing this to a man who had done nothing wrong. Martha was done with my corset and i had to have her help me slip the over dress on it was a forest green dress with a brown hemming and elbow length sleeves.
"Come on, we're going to the TARDIS for a visit." she said dragging me from my moping and giving me a pair of shoes flats, i was gonna need converse and jeans tonight, my hair had been twisted into a bun with a little difficulty because of it's length. Martha then proceeded to drag me out of the room and outside grabbing two bikes and we set off, with a little idle chatter along the way, i knew what she was doing, she was keeping me busy, not letting me sink into my mind and for that i was greatful. We got to the old stone barn near the woods, opening the door, i see a sight i welcome, the TARDIS, i had been away barely a day and it felt like an eternity. walking over Martha takes out her key, i simply click my fingers and the doors open. I grin i had hoped it would work but i didn't think it would.
The console room is mostly dark Martha steps in and whispers,
"Hello." she shakes her head "I'm talking to a machine..." i gasp,
""Martha Jones take that back, she is not a machine, she is a sentient being." she looks at me with a raised eyebrow as if to ask 'Really?' "Yes." i answer, she nods
"Sorry." Taking off her gloves, she heads for the console. Sighing, she looks up at the time rotor, dormant. Closing her eyes, I know she's remembering how this had happened...
XXX
"Look out!" The doctor shouts Martha dives to the floor as a bolt shot past hitting the console, i shield my eyes before pulling my blaster and firing back growling, 'How dare they hurt her.'
...
Martha is walking around the dormant console.
...
"They're following us! They can follow us wherever we go. Right across the universe. They're never going to stop...Martha, you trust me don't you?" he asks looking at her in slight panic,
"Of course I do-" she answers the doctor cuts her off
"'Cause it all depends on you." he said,
...
Martha reaches the console.
...
The Doctor is holding his pocket watch in front of her-
"Martha, this watch is me." he said, Martha takes the watch and the doctor runs around the console helping me pilot,
"...Right, okay, gotcha...No, hold on! Completely lost!" Martha shouts,
"Those creatures are hunters, they can sniff out anyone- and me being a Time Lord; well, I'm unique. They can track me down across the whole of time and space." he informs and i groan internally, it was a reminder that he was going to be gone for three months and that i was going to be stuck here for two,
"And the good news is?" Martha asks sounding nervous,
"They can smell me, they haven't seen me. And their life's bound to be running out- so, we hide, wait for them to die." he explains,
"But they can track us down." Martha counters, the doctor stops helping and looksat her seriously, I hadn't said a word, I kept piloting
"That's why I've got to do it. I have to stop being a Time Lord. I'm gonna become human." he announced.
...
Martha looks up at the TARDIS ceiling- where a strange headset is hanging from a cable.
...
The doctor looks up and then pulls down the chameleon arch,
"Never thought I'd use this. All the times I've wondered..." he said to himself,
"What does it do?" Martha queried,
"Chameleon Arch. Re-write my biology. Literally changes every single cell in my body. I've set it to human." he explains, i sigh and stop looking at the console,taking the pocket watch back off Martha, he fits it into a section of the headset.
"Now, the TARDIS will take care of everything. Invent a life story for me, find me a setting and integrate me. Can't do the same for you...you'll just have to improvise. I should have just enough residual awareness to let you in." he rambled, i sigh again another reminder that he wasn't going to be here,
"But... hold on, if you're going to rewrite every single cell- isn't it going to hurt?" Martha asked her Doctor instincts kicking in, instead of the Doctor answering i cut in,
"Yes, it will hurt, and he's going to scream so i'd be warned it's not a pretty sight." I left off the part about how i would feel it because i knew she knew and the doctor would only ask questions.
"Right then, Phoenix, if you would activate it, oh and we still need to talk about how you can drive the TARDIS." i nod and go over to the dial,
"See you in a while." I mutter, he nods and i place my hand on the dial and slowly twist until it clicks and step back clenching my teeth as the pain hits. Martha watches on in horror.
...
Martha looks back at the monitor and turns it on to play the clip of the doctor i run to my room and grab a pair of black jeans and converse before returning, hearing the last of his rant about pairs, it had stopped being funny when i had watched it for the tenth time, when i had gotten bored and missed him to much,
"But there was a meteor, a shooting star- what am I supposed to do then?" She asks the screen,
"And twenty three. If anything goes wrong, if they find us, Martha, then you know what to do. Open the watch." I hear his voice and shudder, i missed him so much it felt like it physically hurt, "Everything I am is kept safe in there. Now, I've put a perception filter on it so the human me won't think anything of it, to him it's just a watch. But don't open it unless you have to. Because once it's open, then the Family will be able to find me. It's all down to you, Martha. Your choice." he walks off screen before returning "Oh, and- thank you." With a smile the recording stops and it returns to the usual display,
"I wish you'd come back." I hear her whisper as i walk out the door,
"Martha I have to get back, Make sure John doesn't get to worried and all." she nods and i get on the bike and set off.
XXX
I had gotten back and headed straight to Johns study, just inn time to catch Latimer walking quickly out of the door, closing it behind him. Latimer stands for a moment, before running up the stairs to the dormitory I had followed him and just as he was about to enter his room I call out.
"Latimer?" he stops and looks at me, a little nervous, "Your not in trouble i just need to talk. he nods,
"What is it you need miss?" he asked,
"It's about the watch." he tenses and opens his mouth but i hold a hand to stop him. "Like i said, your not in trouble, I just want you to take care of it, it's going to be really important tonight, okay?" he nods and the i heard his voice
'Phoenix' he whispered, Latimer looked shocked as i smiled, and shook my head,
"He always was an idiot, never thought about what could carry over or what the old girl would do just to spite him."
"You- You can hear it miss." he asked, I nodded,
"I'm Phoenix, to the watch, But to Mr Smith I'm Blaze. It's a long story,but i wasn't supposed to be here but because of him i am. His name is the doctor, and while the things he shows you are scary, he's a wonderful man who saves you humans time and again."
"You say humans as though your not." he states, i laugh, but nod my head all the same,
"I'm not, I'm the daughter of a star, but that's another matter entirely. Just take care of him." he nods and i turn on my heel to decend the stairs,
"Phoenix." i turn my head to look over my shoulder, "You know whats going to happen don't you." he asked, sighing i nod my head,
"Knowing the future is a bad thing, but sometimes it can save a mans life. Do well to remember that." I walk down the stair and head to Johns study.
XXX
Okay Now it' done and edited but i cant stop apologizing for how bad a fail that was last night. I hope you like it now.
Shadow OUT!
XXX