Hey everyone I know last chapter the first time it uploaded I screwed up and only had the first line of the author's note so I hope this is better than that.
Enjoy!
XXX
RECAP
"Phoenix." I turn my head to look over my shoulder.
"You know what's going to happen don't you?" he asked, sighing I nod my head.
"Knowing the future is a bad thing, but sometimes it can save a man's life. Do well to remember that." I walk down the stairs and head to Johns study.
XXX
The rattle of gunfire rang in the air and I cringed once more as a dummy was hit. The boys were doing target practice; a machine gun set up behind a bunker of sand was standing there as if this was right, and I guess in his mind it was... And I couldn't say much... Handling a gun at such a young age isn't a good thing...
"Concentrate!" John orders- his voice stern and it reminds me of when the Doctor would use that tone for when he thought he could get me to go along with his plans. I shake my head sharply. 'Don't pile on anymore guilt' I scold myself. Joan walks up beside me and watches.
"He knows this isn't right..." I whisper, my voice cracking. She looks over at me. "I told him about my having to handle a gun at their age... I was younger than them... It's NOT a good influence." I mutter mostly to myself, barely registering her look of shock. The gun is being fired by Hutchinson; the rounds being fed in a steady stream by Tim. Baines is one of the boys watching the targets with John standing a few paces behind.
"Hutchinson, excellent work!" I hear John praise and I flinch. 'The Doctor wouldn't-' I stop myself as it was getting easier and easier to separate them and see them as different people and that was making it harder for me to deal with the guilt. I would have to admit to the lie I had been forced to tell. The Headmaster walks over and I hide a scowl. I didn't like him. He was to set in his ways of being an arrogant pig headed man who thought he was better than everyone else.
"Cease fire!" He orders, Hutchinson obeys instantly.
"Good day to you, Headmaster" John greets.
"Your crew's on fine form today, Mr Smith." He compliments. I grimace as does Joan in agreement.
"Excuse me, Headmaster. We could do a lot better. Latimer is being deliberately shoddy." Hutchinson argues and my fists clench... I saw Ethan in him... The little boy who I had lost...
"I'm trying my best" Time defends.
"You need to be better than the best. Those targets are tribesmen from the dark continent!" The Headmaster snaps.
"That's exactly the problem sir. They only have spears." He was a clever boy.
"Oh dear me. Latimer takes it upon himself to make us realize how wrong we all are. I hope Latimer that one day you may have a just and proper war in which to prove yourself. Now, resume firing." The Headmasters tone is condescending and I bite back a growl of anger. Hutchinson resumes fire and Tim continues to feed the ammunition again. I start walking over knowing what was going to happen. The gun stops firing and I know he's seen it.
"There's a stoppage immediate action!" He looks to Tim. "Didn't I tell you Sir, this stupid boy is useless! Permission to give Latimer a beating, Sir?" Hutchinson requests.
"It's your class, Mr Smith." States the Headmaster. With a bored voice he answers,
"Permission granted" That's where I cut in.
"Actually John" I interrupt. He and the Pig look over. "I was wondering if I could borrow him. There are some books I need moving to clear space. Would you mind if I take him with me instead?" I question. He looks hesitant but nods.
"Of course, Latimer follow her and do as she says!" He orders. Hutchinson glares at me and I return it with the force that burns ice as he looks away.
"Yes Sir." Tim responds coming over to my side. I give a curt nod and turn on my heel without glancing at him.
"Blaze?" he questions. I turn my head to look back at him. "would you find me after you're done?" I wanted to say no but I nod my head mutely and continue on my way. Once Tim and I are out of sight I stop...
"I'm so sorry for that Tim, he's not usually like this, not really... usually he doesn't do weapons and he certainly doesn't allow a boy to be beaten." I say looking at him.
"It's alright Mrs-" I cut him off
"Phoenix... Not Mrs Smith, that's never going to happen... not like that. And it most certainly is NOT alright." He nods his head and I sigh. "Do you mid handing the watch to me a moment?" He dug into his pocket and held out the watch.
'Phoenix' He whispered. I glare at it.
"You're such an idiot! Any different time, you could have gone to another time but instead of that you're teaching boys to shoot, hell I wasn't supposed to be here and yet I'm now your wife, for the third time... when this is over I might just force you into an early 11". I growl, there was silence and I sigh handing it back to Tim. "Come on then, I guess we can move some of the books around so it doesn't look weird and then you can have this lesson off."
XXX
I had set off to the village it was about the time when John was going to take Joan on the walk. I set out and just let my mind wander... I was already missing the old girl, but then 2 months inside her and you start to feel a little anxious away from her... There was so much to come... Blink would happen and then... I shudder slightly; we would be going to the end of the universe just to meet a psychopathic Time Lord that seemed to know me in Utopia. A year with or without The Doctor, if I could get away... If I wanted to in The Year That Never Was.
Beyond that there was Donna and the... The Library, maybe I could change it maybe I could save her... I was knocked out of my thoughts by a milk churn falling at my feet. I fall back in surprise and then there was a loud crash, a piano had fallen into the path I had been walking upon. Suddenly, I'm being helped up by the workers and they are asking if I'm alright . I nod my head about to speak when I was cut off.
"BLAZE!" I turn and see John making his way to me, pushing through the crowd he and Joan rushed over, John looks me over and I sigh.
"I'm fine John, honestly" I reassure. "I take it the cricket ball was you handy work?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. He looks at the ball at my feet and grins.
"I may have had something to do with it." I nod, he looked at me "Will you be attending the village dance with me tonight?" He asked. 'I don't have much choice, tonight would be the night everything would be happening.'
"Yes" I answer quietly, I turn to Joan. "Joan would you like to accompany us?" she looked hesitant "I insist" Finally she nods. I was doing John a favor, the more distance between us the better and the less hurt it would endure in the end.
"Would you join us on our walk Blaze?" Joan requests, I smile and sigh playfully.
"Oh go on then, if I must." John laughs and links my arm through his and we walk away from the scene that had nearly hurt me.
XXX
We had been walking for a while now, and we were currently walking through a field.
"It's all becoming clear now – the Doctor is the man you'd like to be, doing impossible things with cricket balls." Joan said with a laugh and I smile.
'so much more...' I think longingly.
"Well, I discovered a talent that's certainly true!" John comments.
"But the Doctor has an eye for the ladies!" Joan teases.
"The devil!" He said.
"A girl at every fireplace." I join in with Joan's teasing, John laughs and squeezes my hand.
"Now, there I have to protest, Blaze that's hardly me! You know that." He retorted.
"Says the man dancing with us tonight!" I say to him pointing between Joan and I, Joan looks startled but smiles non the less. And the John spots a scarecrow and dread washes over me...
I wanted to grab them and run, but as terrible as I felt. I felt a small sense of hope. 'he's coming back' my watch whispered in joy.
"That scarecrows all skewed! He observes as we cross the furrows to it, I kept my distance as much as I could, it couldn't know what I was... anyway John stretches it across the frame again,
"Always an artist." I tease,
"Where did you learn to draw?" Joan asked,
"Gallifrey." John answers instantly, I tense and feel the corners of my mouth pull down,
'He is so going to get it when he wakes up.'
"Is that in Ireland?" Joan asked uncertainly, I flinch,
"Yes, it must be, yes." Johns says unsure, I felt sadness crash over me, I needed more distance, this wasn't helping with how things were going to end.
"But you're not Irish?" Joan retorts and he tenses, I hang my head,
"Not at all, no. My father Sidney was a watchmaker from Nottingham and my mother Verity was..." he pauses "...um...well, she was a musician, like Blaze." he said holding my hand tighter,
"We are rather creative." I say absently,
"Right. Yes. Well, my work is done, what do you think?" he asks standing back from the scarecrow, I look at it and hold back the flame I feel building, I could just burn it, it wouldn't survive to tell the family, I'd only risk John and Joan finding out... I shake my head, 'can't risk it.' I think to myself slightly depressed, only a day and I missed using fire.
"Masterpiece." Joan and I say at the same time, we look at each other and giggle slightly,
"All sorts of skills today!" Joan and John laugh but I stay silent and we walk back onto the road, looking over my shoulder I see the scarecrow looking at us as we walk away...
XXX
John had begged that he be allowed to draw me, and though I fought against it, he now had me sitting on the sofa, dazed. He had kissed me quite strongly, I hadn't responded to him after that, it was like leading him on when Martha and I were to be his executioners...
Finally he puts the book down and comes to sit by me, I looked curiously down at the book and see another picture of what appeared to be me, light was shining around my head and I looked far off, he truly was a talented artist,
"You've outdone yourself, made me look more than I am." I whisper, I had written that in the letter as well,
"It's how I see you." I look at it and then turn the page and I gasp, there were two children on the next page. A young boy grinning and a girl sat behind him hugging him, tracing my hands over them I stare, "I miss them too... We'll see them in a month." he kissed my temple and that was when I felt my heart break, it was going to destroy him. I felt a sob leave my lips, 'How could he ask this of me.' I feel my mind ask. The tears rolled down my cheeks and I just stared at the picture, it truly was perfect, but I couldn't have this, and neither could he.
He rocked me back and forth gently running his hand through my hair.
"Perhaps you should have stayed with them if being away causes such heartbreak." he whispers, I can't bring myself to answer. The door swings open and I see Martha, she looks startled, I get up wiping my tears,
"Martha, what have I told you about entering unannounced?" he snaps,
"John." I snap, I look at Martha, "I need to speak with Martha a moment we'll leave you, I'll be back before we leave for the dance." I inform as I follow Martha out of the door, what he hadn't realized was that I had the book with me.
"Phoenix?" Martha asks quietly,
"Not here." I choke out, she nods and we head off.
XXX
We got to the TARDIS and with that I broke down again, sobbing. Martha hugs me and I grip her like a lifeline,
"How can he do this to me?" I cry, she pulls back and looks confused, swallowing I hand her the book and looking down shock registers, and she looks at me again,
"What?" she whispers, shock in her tone,
"They're our kids, what he imagines them to be..." I croak. We went though the recording Martha looking for anything to do with if I was to become involved, I just looked at the screen,
"That's no good. What about the stuff you didn't tell me, what about Phoenix? Oh no, you didn't think of that. What in hell are we supposed to do then?" Martha rants, she has fast-forwarded to the end.
"Thank you." he finally says,
"You idiot, you didn't think this would happen, what it would do to Phoenix?" she whispers, I walk away from the screen and sit in the chair,
"The darkness is coming...keep me away from the force and empty man...the last of the Time Lords, the last of a wise and ancient race... Protect Phoenix, keep Phoenix away." I hear his voice ringing in my ears and I clamp my hands down on them trying to block it out. Martha steps in front of me,
"Come on, we best get you ready." she pulls me up and we head to the wardrobe. The dress we found was a blue with pale cream trimmings on the bottom, under that however I had a pair of my usual black jeans and my top, the only difference is now, I'm wearing a corset over it, black of course, it doesn't hid my Phoenix tattoo but it does hide his name, I'm also wearing boots.
So we set off back to the school, it was difficult but we did get back, I went to Johns study calmed myself before walking in. He stood there in his suit and when he turned around and saw me he looked like a fish out of water. I let out a laugh and spin,
"You- You look breathtaking." I smile though it's strained and raise an eyebrow,
"You look very handsome yourself." his cheeks flush slightly, "Now tell me, whilst you were here did you learn to dance any better, I'm still rather fond of my toes." I grin and he looks unsure
"Um...I'm not certain..." he answered, I sigh shaking my head,
"Of course your not. Are you certain about anything?" I question, his eyes soften and I feel the hurt again, this was part of my supposed link, how was I going to hurt him like this?
"Yes." he says knocking me out of my self loathing, he steps towards me taking my face between his hands and pressing a chaste kiss to my lips, "Yes." then something struck me, right at this time Martha would be meeting 'Mother.' I pull away at this and just then Martha bursts through the door,
"They've found us!" she shouts, looking straight at me, I nod,
"Martha, I've warned you." John growls out, I hit his chest and look at Martha,
"I'll handle this John. Martha let's step out a moment so you can tell me whats wrong?" I say nicely, walking over to her I lead her out of the door closing it behind us, as soon as it was closed she started talking in hushed whispers,
"They've found us, and I've seen them- they look like people, like us, like normal. I'm sorry, but we've got to open the watch."
"Martha, I know they're here. The watch isn't on the mantle." I say calmly, she starts to panic,
"Where is it?"
"Timothy Latimer has it, and that's a good thing, it'll be opened when it needs to but until then we have to act accordingly." as I said this I felt very little of the confidence I portrayed. Never the less she nods, "I need you to get the sonic quickly, don't hang around the TARDIS it's not safe there." she looks confused, but hurries off. Sighing I turn back to the door.
'He'll be back soon.' I tell myself.
Opening the door I step in.
"What was the matter?" he asked, giving a sigh at his humanness, I answer,
"Cultural differences." he nods,
"Poor girl she must be so confused." I was going to slap him when he opened that watch. There was no stopping me. Anyway I got on my coat and we left for the dance. The dread in my stomach steadily growing worse. I had never felt more aware of the coldness of the mark than right now.
XXX
The walk was silent, myself feeling awkward, him being oblivious. Walking towards the door I look over to the edge of the building and nod at Tim.
"Spare a penny for the veterans of the Crimea, sir?" The man at the door asks,
"Yes, of course." he digs into his pocket and pulls out a few coins "There you are." he said handing them over and we entered, people are milling about, getting drinks from a beer keg, laughing and talking. I was incredibly board, this wasn't an adventure, this was torture.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Please take your partners for a waltz." The announcer calls, John holds his hand out and I take it with a fake smile. The music starts and we start to move,
"You've gotten better." I comment,
"I've surprised myself." he says with a grin and then, we bumped into another pair, "Sorry." he stutters out, I grin this time, that was so like the Doctor...
"I spoke to soon." for now I would pretend that this was the Doctor, that I was happy, just before it all crashed down. I spotted Joan just across the dance floor looking at the couples with wistful eyes.
The dance ended with slight small talk and then I pointed out Joan and we made our way over.
"Joan there you are." she looks startled and smiles after she see's me.
"Blaze, it's nice to see you again, and you Mr. Smith." she greets,
"You look lovely." I compliment, she smiles shyly, John coughs nervously,
"Can I offer to get you ladies a drink?" he asked, Joan nods
"If you wouldn't mind Mr Smith."
"No thank you John." he smiles and walks off, relaxing a little,
"Martha." I greet when I see her, Joan's smile drops,
"He's different from any other man you've ever met, right?" She asks Joan without greeting, she hesitates to answer,
"Yes."
"And sometimes he says these strange things, like people and places you've never heard of, yeah? But it's deeper than that. Sometimes when you look in his eyes you know - you just know that there's something else in there. Something hidden. Right behind the eyes, something hidden away. In the dark." Martha continues,
"I don't know what you mean, I..." Martha cuts Joan off,
"Yes, you do. I don't mean to be rude, but the awful thing is it doesn't even matter what you think. But you're nice. And you're lucky. And I just wanted to say sorry for what I'm about to do." Martha apologizes, I felt a pang of regret, John was on his way back, this was not going to be good... Looking to the left I see the little girl, Lucy as she had been previously known.
"Oh, now really, Martha. This is getting out of hand. I must insist that you leave." John insists exasperated, I hold my tongue at his attitude because Martha holds out the sonic screwdriver.
"Do you know what this is? Name it. Go on, name it." Martha demands,
"Mr Smith, what is that silly thing? Mr Smith?" I place a hand on Joan's shoulder and she looks at me questioningly, he slowly takes it off Martha and turns it over in his hands.
"You're not John Smith. You're called the Doctor. The man in your journal, he's real. He's you." I winced knowing that the girl heard it. I look around and see Tim pulling the curtain back and then he jumps back letting the curtain fall back in place, the scarecrows were here.
There was a shriek and people clearing the way. Looking over I see a man with a gun in hand and know this was Mr Clarke.
"There will be silence! All of you!" He demands as Jenny and Baines file in Scarecrows marching behind them, "I said silence!" He shouts,
"Mr Clarke! What's going on?" the announcer asks, Clarke turns and fires at him, dissolving him into nothing. Joan's hand stifles a shriek.
"John, Everything Martha said, don't listen, you're John Smith." I whisper though it breaks me even more.
"We asked for silence!" Everyone quieted down "Now then. We have a few questions for Mr Smith." he continues,
"No, better than that." The girl shouts joining them, "The teacher. He's the Doctor. I heard them talking." I glare at her feeling my eyes flare slightly I take a breath.
"You took human form." Baines realises,
"Of course I'm human, I was born human! As were you, Baines. And Jenny, and you, Mr Clarke! What is going on, this is madness!" John sputters,
"And a human brain, too! Simple, thick and dull." Baines insults sounding amused.
"He's no good like this." Jenny whispers to them,
"We need a Time Lord." Clarke growled
"Easily done." Baines states stepping forward. He raises his gun and aims it at him. The crowd gasps and John recoils backwards. I goto step forward but Martha grabs my hand stopping me, "Change back." he says smirking,
"I don't know what you're talking about." John denies
"Change back!" Baines shouts,
"I literally do not know-" John shouts back, Jenny grabs Martha and this time a growl rips through my throat as I whirl to face her, Jenny has a blaster to her head as Martha screams.
"Let go of her!" I snarl,
"She's your friend, isn't she? Doesn't this scare you enough to change back?" Jenny reasons, ignoring me,
"I don't know what you mean!" John exclaims in panic,
"Wait a minute... The maid told me about Smith and his wife...that woman, there!" she points to me,
"Let's have you!" He grabbed me and pulled me to him, I stay passive, quelling my rage, trying to stop a fire from burning.
"Have you enjoyed it, Doctor?" Baines asks, "Being human? Has it taught you wonderful things, are you better, richer, wiser? Then let's see you answer this. Which one of them do you want us to kill? Maid or misses? Your friend - or your wife? Your choice." he offers, my hand twitches to my side as John looks stricken. Unsure of what to do...
TO BE CONTINUED...
XXX
And on to the 'Family of Blood.' Please tell me what you think of Phoenix's reactions and how she seems to distance herself from John... I can't really put much else in because i cant think of what to write, on the bright side I had my second driving lesson today and i was on the road driving.
YAY!
Shadow OUT!
XXX