It had been a reunion of intense emotion and though all had been quiet and dignified, each took to a private corner, needing a moment alone to collect themselves. Aradan was the first to speak, "I will go back to my rounds, Thranduil."
He hesitated, "The seal?"
Erienne looked up, "Come on, my lord, it is with you, isn't it?"
Thranduil smiled sheepishly, "See, Aradan. The Queen is sharper than you." Erienne rolled her eyes as Thranduil returned the seals to their proper place, on the colours of Mirkwood. But all were inwardly relieved that no seal was missing.
Aradan nodded, his eyebrows furrowed and both Erienne and Galaden frowned at Thranduil. It was apparent that Aradan was still shaken. As Aradan turned to leave, saying that he had to return to his rounds, he paused again and turned to Thranduil. "My lord, the Queen's jewels. You ought to return them to the vault."
This time, Thranduil frowned. "Didn't I tell you, Aradan? They are yours to give to whomever you wish. And, Aradan, I expect you to see to the vaults and everything else that you have been seeing to. Mirkwood seeks your command and I trust you will not falter in these times." Aradan nodded. That he would see to. He would not fail. Seeking Thranduil's eyes for any signs of disapproval, Aradan finally left, his anxiety not having abated fully.
Before Aradan and Galaden took their leave, Thranduil reminded Aradan that he was expected for dinner as well as he would every other day. Galaden and Erienne smiled. They were a pair, Thranduil and Aradan. Neither would admit how much the other mattered to them. Galaden apologised that he had to see to Ceridwen who had been hurt in the tournament. That left Erienne alone in the room. And for the first time, Erienne began to feel nervous and fearful again. She did not know what to say or do.
Thranduil did not look well. He was obviously shaken as well. Looking at Erienne, he appeared as if to say something but then shook his head and left without a word. Erienne swallowed. She knew Thranduil was hurt but she was still unsure of how much Thranduil knew. What would bother him about her and what wouldn't?
Yet, she did not want to disturb him now. It was one thing between friends, another between mates. Where ought she to go anyway? Could she dare hope that she would be welcome once again in the room where she and Thranduil had lived as elf and mate or should she just go to one of the smaller rooms in the King's chambers.
Finally, Erienne decided to return to her own room in the kitchen. Elda was not there. Neither was anyone else. But, when Erienne tried to enter the room, she realised that it was locked. She turned upon hearing someone enter. Glorvethor bowed to her, "My lady, I apologise for my insolence. I did not realise it was you." The soldier must have been overwhelmed for he was blinking back tears.
"It was not your fault, Glorvethor. I hope you recover soon."
"Aye, my lady. So do I. But I will be of service to Mirkwood in any way."
"We are blessed then, Glorvethor," Erienne said softly.
Glorvethor nodded his head, "All in Mirkwood are blessed, my lady. My lord asked me to inform you that all the other rooms are locked. The only room that is open are his chambers."
Erienne nodded. Thranduil's message was quite clear. Yet, Erienne's nervousness did not cease. She went to his chambers where she was greeted by his guard. He opened the door for her, bowing as he left.
Erienne gulped. It had taken all of her resolve to appear cool and in control in front of the guard. Perhaps, she could just spend time in the woods. Aye, she would do just that. It always helped to calm her. The kitchen had been empty and it had a door that led to the woods. Quickly, Erienne left. She had never entered the woods since the return. The memories had been too precious and painful. She went to the huge oak. She had loved to sit under the tree, enjoying its shade. Thranduil had often been busy with his Ada, King Oropher and Erienne had been left to look after the castle and seek her own company. Galaden would often seek her out and they would go for walks, looking for herbs and trying out new medications. Aradan had been busy training under his own Ada, trying to learning all he could about the art of war and defence. Often, he would be out seeking counsel at the courts of Lothlorien and Rivendell. But, if he was around, he would never fail to seek her out to find out if she was alright. Always true, always loyal and dutybound. Always a rascal. Aradan Cyredthiltharion. Their relationship went back all the way to Doriath before her Ada had been killed and she had fled with Thranduil, his Ada and a few of the Sindarin elves with them. And Thranduil, gruff and distant. It was easy for many to cast him off as cold and arrogant. As had Legolas and Tauriel. But, only she knew her lord's sense of duty and his ability to love. Thranduil loved deeply, his realm, his elves, his friends…and his mate.
Erienne closed her eyes. There had been so much pain, so much loss yet little sparks of joy were still lighting up her life. She was back where she had never dreamt she would be ever again in wildest dreams, she had escaped what had seemed like a deepest depths of hell. Thranduil had made it clear that he wanted her yet she was unsure. The Elven King's mate, a fallen elf. But, she had duties as well. She had to do all she could to help Thranduil, Aradan and Galaden. The elves knew she had been raped. At least, some of them did. They had treated her with respect still. Erienne sighed. She could go debating forever.
Afternoon had become evening and the chill was setting in. Erienne forced herself up and walked back to the castle. As she made her way, she realised that two soldiers were following her. Not just soldiers. Lieutenant-generals, they were just below Aradan in rank, serving directly under him. Erienne smiled, despite herself. Aradan and his duty consciousness.
She walked up the wooden stairs and seeking out the King's chambers – where she and Thranduil had lived and loved as elf and mate. She knew her way and went there with ease. She was met by another elf, whom she did not know. She had never seen him in the kitchens. He too bowed to her and opened the door for her. As she thanked him, he smiled and added hesitantly before he left. "It's an honour, my lady. I have heard so much of the Elven Queen, her beauty, grace and intelligence. Mirkwood is blessed to have you back, my lady."
When Erienne entered the room, she had to stop. The cupboards, curtains, armoires and was that her vanity table? Erienne's breath caught. It felt as if she was walking back in time. Had Thranduil changed nothing? Slowly, she walked around the room. It was an elleth's room, kept for an elleth. She stopped near the cupboard. Her hands trembling, she pulled out the first drawer. They were there. The first clothes she had sewed for Legolas, made of the finest elven silk. Erienne swallowed as a lump rose in her throat. Putting them away gently, she walked around again. She had purposely ignored the bed but now, it caught her eyes. Were those the covers she had knitted the year, Legolas had been born? She knelt by the bed, her hands slowly feeling the soft, comfortable covers. Legolas, her baby. Had she not laid him on these covers to hold and to love, to feed and to cuddle, as Thranduil had watched proudly?
Upon this bed, Thranduil and her had come together as one, had savoured moments of love, moments of passion. They had held each other, loved each other and comforted each other. Defying all logic, Erienne placed her head upon the covers trying to enjoy as much of it as possible –the smell, the feel, the joyous memories. For just this one moment, she did not want to let go of this one moment.
From the door, Thranduil watched as Erienne walked through their room. He could feel her joy and her pain as she savoured once more what had been and would always be her life and her right. Since the day, he had seen Galaden's joy, he had become suspicious. And when Elda had told him that she had been cooking, he had struggled against hoping that it was indeed her. Caution had kept him from acting upon his suspicions until he saw Aradan's face light up with a happiness that had long been non-existent. Aradan was a cautious elf, if he knew it was her, it had to be her. Leaning against the door, he waited silently not wanting to disturb her, for now, it was enough for King Thranduil to enjoy the presence of his wife in their chamber.