Sadie sat down across from Rayna as she struggled to get her sobbing under control. "Rayna, why he hate you? Why would anyone hate you?"
Hiccupping, Rayna snorted her response. "Ask Luke, I'm sure he will be able to give you an extensive list of why he hates me." Another sob escapes as her voice wavered "And Deacon should hate me. What…what I've done to him. I hate what I've done to him." Silent tears continued to run down her face as Sadie moved to sit next to her mentor wrapping an arm around her. Making soothing noises, Sadie rubs calming circles on her back as Rayna leans forward and covers her face with her hands. Sadie is a little bit unsettled seeing Rayna so upset. This was a woman who has a backbone of steel. Sadie had heard a lot about her taking on the music executives when they tried to push her music career into a corner, and she had seen first hand Rayna take on Sadie's own ex husband. Something major must have happened for the normally unflappable Rayna to be so upset in a public setting.
Rayna's sobs of pain were decreasing in severity as Sadie continued to make calming noises. Looking down at her feet, seeing a tablet poking out from underneath the table piped her interest. Looking sideways at Rayna, Sadie reached out to snare it, hoping it will give her some insight to Rayna's current emotional state and hopefully a way to help her. She sees that the current web page was NPR's last live performance at the Bluebird. She remembers people in the industry whispering about the performances but didn't pay to much attention as she was still trying to juggle her career and the barely healed scars of her disastrous marriage.
Turning the sound right down, so that she could barely hear it, Sadie hit play. Watching Deacon lift his eyes hopefully towards the door every time someone walked in and then the hurt flashing across his face when the person he was hoping for didn't appear, made Sadie's heart clench. Rayna's current state was making sense now, more so after Sadie listened to the heart breaking lyrics that Deacon was currently singing. His heart was breaking with every word he sang and seeing the realisation that Rayna was not going to walk through the door, it was almost enough for Sadie to join Rayna with her tears.
Hearing Rayna sniffing and hunting in her bag for tissues brought Sadie back to the present. Quickly turning the tablet off and sliding it back under the table she turned her attention to her left. Rayna was wiping under her eyes trying to make herself presentable. Clearing her throat she turned to Sadie "thank you". Examining her fingers while playing with her rings Rayna looked uncomfortable, like she wanted to say something else but didn't know how to begin. "I don't know what that was. I….. I don't know what is happening with me today."
"Rayna you have nothing to explain, especially to me." Rayna continued talking, appearing not to have heard Sadie. "I have been avoiding that song for months. Maddie came home after seeing Deacon at the Bluebird that night. Her face was full of such sorrow and her voice when she told me about his song….God. I didn't need to hear the damn song, every emotion was coming out as Maddie described it. So I shut it out ….pushed it so far down and locked it away in my mind with a little label 'never to be opened'. Then this morning, before l knew it, Deacon was pouring his heart out to me and I just lost it. There I was sobbing my eyes out stuck in traffic." Rayna quickly looked up at Sadie before continuing "and then I knew, I had to watch the video." Twisting the tissue between her fingers, Sadie silently gasped as she caught the pain behind Rayna's eyes. Whispering Rayna confided to Sadie "I don't think I can forgive myself for causing him so much pain and even if I can, I don't understand how he can forgive me. Hell I don't understand how he can still love me after everything I put him through."
"Rayna, I don't understand the entire history of you and Deacon, but judging from THAT song, that man has not only forgiven you but he is still totally in love with you. I think you need to talk to him and start forgiving yourself. If Deacon has forgiven you surely you can ease up on yourself!"
"I wish it was that easy. Me and Deacon, we have this…" Rayna waves her hands around searching for the right words "… I don't even know what we are anymore. We circle each other, testing the waters, each of us edging closer until one of us comes dangerously close to crossing that line and then we recoil back to begin that slow dance again. That's our history, that's what we have done for the last 15 years, I don't know how to do it any differently and it scares me to death to think about taking that step across that line because the one time I did I almost died."
Sadie slowly nods her head contemplating what Rayna has told her, hesitantly she suggests to Rayna "don't you think you both deserve to try to reach for happiness again?"
Rayna's eyes search around the room, never settling on one thing for long "Hmmm, I don't know….maybe."
"Oh, there is no maybe. I know for sure!" Changing the tone of her voice, Sadie teasingly asks Rayna "You know what you need?"
"No, what do I need?" Rayna asks with slight hint of laughter tingeing her voice.
"You need three things"
"HA! I only need three things?" Rayna splutters.
Sadie nods as she holds up three fingers as she begins to list them. "One, a girl's night out, two, alcohol and lots of it, and three, karaoke preferably bad karaoke!"
Grinning at Sadie, "And when is this miracle cure meant to occur? I have a hundred things I have to do here, not to mention the girls and let's not forget the fallout from the whole wedding thing"
Looking at her watch Sadie wickedly grins at Rayna "Tootsies just opened and I believe they have a huge arse cocktail with your name written all over it!"
"Do they just?" Rayna's smile slowly growing as she contemplated ditching her life for the day. "Ok, let's do it. Just let me make sure Bucky has cleared my schedule"