Thanks for reading guys (I'm assuming I have figured out the correct way to upload chapters and you are able to access them). I've been a bit generous with the timeline this chapter (though I am trying to stay true to the episodes). This chapter is Deacon centred up next will be the girls' night of karaoke and drinking! And eventually I will deal with the revealing episode 15 (and somehow work it into this storyline)
"Avery" Deacon nodded as the door was opened "Juliette summoned me."
"Ye, sorry man, she's a bit antsy being cooped up all the time."
"Which is why I also come baring treats to please the mother to be" Deacon said with a grin holding up a bag of pastries from 'Bite Me'.
"Smart man! She's out back, make you way through. I'm on my way to rehearsal… Hey did Scarlett tell you about our gig tonight?"
Deacon nodded as he picked up his guitar and tucked the sweets safely under his arm, "Yep"
"Ye it's our first solo outing since we formally became The Exes, if you are free you should come. I know Scarlett would like to see a friendly face tonight."
"Well I wouldn't want to miss seeing The Triple X's in their first solo outing, would I?" Deacon laughingly said over his shoulder as he manoeuvred through the door.
Avery grimaces at the mention of the name, thinking to himself that they are never going to get rid of that slightly pornographic name.
"Juliette!" Deacon stands and looks at her. "Look at you"
"Don't say it!" Juliette snaps "I look like I have swallowed a beach ball and don't you even say that I'm glowing. That's just a polite way of saying I'm all gross and sweaty. I can not wait to have this baby, it's like walking around with a winter coat on in the middle of summer AND don't get me started on how I haven't seen my feet in forever"
Deacon chuckles as he puts his guitar on the couch and heads over to the expectant mother. "Now is that anyway to treat your delivery boy?" he says holding out the pastries.
"Get them away from me! I already look like a short; round ball I don't need any extra help in that department. What I need is your song writing magic. This damn baby is not only pressing up against my diaphragm preventing me from finishing my album but she has turned my brain to mush" Juliette states as she rips the baked goods from Deacon's hands and throws them onto the bench before stalking over to the bar stool positioned in front of the microphone. Struggling to bend down, she grabs her notebook that she had thrown on the ground in a fit of anger. "This is what I have so far…I don't know where it's going but can you have a look and see what is missing. I swear I am never having another baby, this one is enough. Between the constant kicking of my blabber and me now waddling, I for one cannot wait to get back into the studio. I am so sick of being trapped in this house."
Deacon wisely keeps quiet as Juliette continues to vent her frustrations about being house bound and pregnant. He skims over the lyrics that are on the page, his mind finding a sweet melody to go with the words. "You know Juliette this isn't as bad as you are making out. If you swap these verses around" pointing to the lyrics on the page "and maybe add part of the chorus to finish off, I think it will work. Do you want to try it out?"
Juliette's eyes glisten with tears and not trusting her self to talk, she nods and hops up onto the stool while discreetly wiping her eyes and cursing pregnancy hormones. Placing the now familiar embroidered leather strap of his guitar over his head, Juliette watches as her friend readies himself to play. Smiling sadly to herself, she wonders how he is really going. To ask him, he would state that he was fine but only a true friend would notice how tired he looked and that he was giving off a vibe of intense sadness.
Juliette, like everyone else in Nashville, had heard about Rayna breaking off the wedding of the year and like everyone else she just assumed that Deacon and Rayna would find their way back to each other. She wonders why that hasn't happened. Knowing those two like she does, it is probably because they are both as stubborn as each other and neither was willing to make the first move. Rolling her eyes internally, she thinks they need to sort themselves out and finally get together. If not for their own sake, at least to halt the ugly fallout that occurs whenever people stupidly get caught up in loving either one of them. Yep, she was going to force Deacon to confront his feelings for Rayna, get him to grow a pair and do something about it.
The next couple of hours Juliette and Deacon fine tune the song, when they are both satisfied with it they are shocked to notice how dark it has gotten outside. Standing up and stretching her back, Juliette eyeballs the discarded pastries. "You want a coffee or something?"
"Tea?"
Snorting at Deacon "Since when do you drink tea?"
"Scarlett got me onto it when she was on one of her health kicks. I found out the hard way that when she is on a health kick, I am also! The downside to sharing with someone I guess." Deacon laughingly states.
Juliette picks at the Danish while waiting for the kettle to boil, trying to work out the best way to approach Deacon about Rayna. In the end she decides to just ask him, after all they have known each other long enough to be blunt with each other. "What's going on with you and Rayna?"
Deacon's eyes go wide as he stutters out "I don't know what you mean. I haven't seen her in weeks."
Rolling her eyes in disgust and blowing out a frustrated sigh, "Come on Deacon, I know better than most how tangled up with her you are, even when you two aren't 'together' you are 'together'" Juliette uses air quotes to emphasis her point. "I don't know the reason why she called off the wedding but I'm willing to bet that it's a 6 letter word, beginning with D and ending in N! No before you plead your innocence, I KNOW even if it's not the main reason it would be a pretty large part of the reason. You both can deny it all you want, but…. But you are so wrapped around each others lives that even when you are apart you are still together. Now spill, what the hell is going on?"
"Juliette I haven't seen Rayna since the night she called the wedding off. I don't know what you want to hear but she is living her life and I am living my life" Deacon states as he storms over to his guitar case.
"So you saw her after she announced to the world that the wedding of the century was off. What did she tell you?" Deacon shakes his head as Juliette continues to talk at him. "And why the hell aren't you out there fighting for her? You CANNOT tell me that you don't love her, that you both aren't in love with each other. Hell I can still feel the sparks on my skin from the waves of electricity coming off you both the night you sang 'No one will ever love you' at the Bluebird. That so pissed me off that night. I wanted you to notice me but NO, there you both were, so damn wrapped up in each other that I honestly don't think you realised the entire audience was hypnotised by your passion. Then you both continued to deny that connection to everyone and even worse, to yourselves. It broke my heart that night, and every other time you both continued to deny yourselves." Holding a hand up to prevent Deacon from answering back Juliette continues. "I know that it's a complex relationship but for god sake why would you not be together especially now when you are both free?"
"Juliette, you don't know what you are talking about. What Rayna and I had back then is in the past, and what we have now…. Well that's complicated and I'm certainly not going to discuss it with you!"
"Why the hell not! It's not like I haven't witnessed first hand what you and Rayna are capable of doing to each other. You need to do everyone a favour and sort your shit out. Because it's not fair that you both create collateral damage along the way as you continue to deny what you have. You can not seriously tell me that there is anyone else for you…can you? Go ahead Deacon, deny it. Lie to me, lie to yourself. You can't, can you? So once again, why the hell aren't you over there fighting for you and Rayna? Or do you only make that grand jester once you are sure that she can't possibly act on your actions?"
Pointing a finger at Juliette, Deacon's fury is evident in the angry tone of his voice "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. THERE IS NO ME AND RAYNA. WHAT WE HAD IS DEAD AND BURIED IN THE PAST. THAT IS WHERE IT HAS TO STAY I'M DONE CAUSING HER ANY MORE PAIN."
"YOU ARE AN MORON…NO YOU ARE NOT ONLY A MORON, YOU ARE A DEAF AND BLIND MORON" Juliette screamed back at Deacon. "EVEN YOU CAN'T BE BLIND TO THE FACT THAT YOU GUYS WILL NEVER, NOT BE IN EACH OTHERS LIVES."
Taking a deep breath, "Juliette, I appreciate what you are doing but it is better for everyone that we continue to keep our distance. We are toxic to each other. Everyone always told me that Rayna was an addiction to me and I never believed them, till now. She is better off without me and my complications in her life. It's a good thing that she is taking time to be on her own since cancelling the wedding. She will figure out that we are no good for each other. She will be better off with out me. Rayna and the girls would be better off just forgetting me and all the pain I caused in their lives." A sorrow enters Deacon's tone, as he quickly remembers that he is on borrowed time, that without a new liver he has 6 months to live. "I am done hurting Rayna and those sweet girls. I wish to god that she had married Luke, cause then she would be happy and taken care of. That is all I want. I want her to be happy."
"Deacon NO! What are you talking about? What ever reason is behind the break up, I'm certain that a large part is due to the fact that Rayna finally worked out that it's you that makes her happy, and those girls love you. I saw them with Luke they tolerated him in their lives but you… they come alive when they see you. You are as much a part of their hearts as they are for you." Juliette begins to pace as she waves her hands around, struggling to find the right words to counter the shock that has engulfed her at Deacon's declaration. "And…..and you can't be serious! You cannot be telling me that you are just going to walk away from the other half of your soul? I don't accept that, something is going on and you might not want to talk to me about it but I know you cannot live without Rayna in your life…. I have seen you try to do without her. You can deny it to yourself all you want but I know you will both see the truth eventually. Until then, you are an idiot for not grasping at happiness with both hands."
"Juliette you just focus on having a healthy baby and forget about me." Deacon states with a hint of sorrow. Deacon places a tender kiss on Juliet's forehead, ignoring her stunned look. "You look after yourself, let me know how the rest of the album goes. I'm going to head off, told Avery that I would drop in and see them play"
Juliette stares at the retreating back of Deacon, a stunned look on her face. She never thought she would see the day when Deacon Claybourne would give up on Rayna Jaymes. Slowly lowering herself onto the couch and rubbing her baby bump, she was now even more convinced that he was hiding something from her. Whatever it was, she was going to find out and make it right. Deacon was her friend, at times in the past her only friend and he deserved all the happiness in the world. Rayna had somewhere along the way also become her friend, though Juliette was still a bit weary of their friendship, there was no denying that Rayna would be there for her through tough times. Knowing that she had forced Deacon to examine his actions Juliette closes her eyes and begins to hum 'A life that's good', hoping that it was on the cards for Deacon and Rayna.
Deacon threw his guitar onto the passenger seat and slammed the door to his truck closed. Punching the steering wheel he cursed Juliette. Damn her! Damn her for forcing him to talk about Rayna. He could live with his decision to distance himself from her if he didn't have to think about it. It also made it easier knowing that Rayna was keeping her distance while she worked things out. Deacon knew that Scarlett thought he was mad for not telling Rayna about his illness, but he couldn't do that to her. She had dealt with enough hurt caused by him in the past he wasn't going to force her to go through that again now.
Focusing all his anger and hurt at his current situation Deacon gripped the steering wheel with both hands and shook it while lambasting the irony of his life. Finally when they were both free to act on their undeniable connection their past, well his alcoholic past anyway, once again has come back to haunt them. Deacon wasn't sure what made him angrier, him for causing this disease or Rayna for not pursing happiness with Luke. He liked to think that he could get through whatever happened with him in regards to the cancer, if he knew Rayna was being taken care off and happy. The sadness that embraced him when he thought about Rayna having to deal with his cancer and the end result just made him that little bit more determined to push her out of his life. It wasn't fair to her or the girls that his dark past continues to cause them heart break.
Starting the truck Deacon heads downtown towards the club that Scarlett is playing at tonight. It will be a welcome break seeing Scarlett living life and having fun rather than her worrying about him. It also meant for a couple hours tonight he didn't have to think about his illness or the ache in his heart whenever he thought about not having Rayna in his life.
**** All rights to the songs mentioned belong to the writers and ABC.