Sorry about the length of this chapter, it turned out longer than l planned. Seems like Sadie had a story that needed telling! But don't worry at the core of this story, its all about the journey of Rayna and Deacon (l just got a tad sidetracked this chapter)

Thanks for reading, I hope everyone is still enjoying it (I know I'm enjoying writing it... its like Nashville therapy for me!)

Sadie pushed open the door to Tootsies with a wicked grin on her face. Turning to Rayna "this is exactly what you need to forget for a while."

Rolling her eyes at her kidnapper Rayna smirked back "ye, sure this is going to make all my troubles disappear!"

"HA! Well maybe not forever but definitely for a while. Now, name your poison woman, otherwise I will get you the biggest nastiest cocktail they have on the menu."

"First you abduct me and now you're threatening me!" Rayna laughingly says as she quickly glances around the surprisingly empty club. "I'll take a scotch, neat. Booth or table? Booth?," pointing to the back corner.

Nodding, Sadie makes her way to the bar, once there she turns to watch Rayna weave her way around the empty tables on the way to the back of the club. Sadie notices that even though she was trying to put on a brave face, Rayna was still struggling. Mentally putting on her determined face, Sadie was going to get Rayna to admit that she was miserable without Deacon and even though it was scary, she needed him in her life. Grabbing their drinks Sadie heads into the darkness that was Tootsies at 3pm on a week day afternoon.

Rayna surveyed the room as she waited for Sadie to join her at the table. It had been a long time since she was last in Tootsies. She used to be a frequent visitor. First with Deacon and then when she was frantically trying to find him after a binge and was forced to carry him out. Sighing, she never realised JUST how intertwined her and Deacon's lives were and how many memories this town held, both good and bad. Sadie placing the scotch down in front of her interrupts any further contemplation of the past. Sadie lifts her glass up for a toast. "To embracing our past so that we can have a shiny future."

"Cheers to that" Rayna clinks her glass against Sadie's and welcomes the warmth of the scotch as it caresses her throat.

"That's a pretty hardcore drink for someone who confesses to not be a big drinker. I'm not going to have to call a taxi for you after one drink, am I?"

"Noooooo. This is a throw back to the good old days. The advantage of dating an alcoholic, you learn quickly to hold your liquor. Besides I need something stronger than wine, especially after my melt down."

"Rayna, you are allowed to let it all get to you. You have had so much to deal with recently. You can't always be the strong one"

"Hmmm, if I don't keep the happy medium going in my life it is all liable to combust" a dejected Rayna confesses. Sadie reaches across the booth, gently squeezes her hand and gives her a reassuring smile. "Hold that thought, we are going to need more drinks and peanuts, yep this definitely calls for peanuts." Sadie scoots out of the booth and makes a v-line back to the bar.

Swirling the scotch gently around the glass, Rayna takes another sip as she feels the distant memories rushing to the forefront. She wasn't completely honest with Sadie when she said it was a throw back to her younger reckless days. Scotch reminds her of Deacon. The heady mixture of Deacon and scotch always made her loose her inhibitions. Whenever Teddy or Luke drank scotch, she would beg off and confess she hated the taste of it and force them to switch drinks. Scotch always made her think of Deacon and it wasn't fair to any one if she was thinking of her lost love while proclaiming to being in love with them. A wave of desire rushes over her as she licks her lips tasting the residue of scotch .God she can still taste the combination of scotch and Deacon on her tongue. She feels her skin becoming flushed and her heart beating faster. A slight moan escapes from her parted lips. GOD! Maybe she does need to go back to drinking wine, if just the act of drinking scotch had this effect on her. Rolling her eyes at the pathetic state she finds herself in, she frantically tries to calm her escalating desire down before Sadie comes back.

"Right, we are now ready for a big session." Sadie dumps a bowl of peanuts in the middle of the table along with more drinks. Rayna clears her throat, grabs some peanuts and looks anywhere but in Sadie's direction while willing the tell tale flush to disappear from her skin.

A few hours later and a lot of drinks later Rayna and Sadie had covered all the polite topics between them and were both eyeing each other off, seeing who would be the first brave one to broach the unasked. Looking down at the almost empty glass, Rayna clears her throat before asking "How did you meet your ex husband." Sadie looks both relieved and scared that Rayna had taken the plunge.

"Ummm, we knew each other at high school but I guess we didn't really connect until a couple of years later." Using the straw to stab the ice in her drink, Sadie takes a breath before continuing to unburden the painful history of her marriage. "He swept me off my feet. He was so charismatic. He treated me like a rare treasure and that he was the luckiest man in the world just being with me. Things moved quickly after that, I fell so hard for him. Before I knew it we were married and that is when he changed."

Shaking her head, Sadie predicted what Rayna was about to ask. "No he didn't start abusing me then, well not physically at least. It was little changes at first, so small that I just waved them off, thinking I was just being stubborn. Like…he encouraged me to cut back my hours at work so that I could be at home for him. Which considering it was a dead end shitty job I didn't really mind. Besides we were talking about having kids and he thought it would be good if he focused on his career before kids came along. He wanted to be the next Billy Ray Cyrus."

Rayna chokes on her drink as a laugh explodes out of her mouth. "Hey come on now, he was cool… in the day!" Sadie grins back at Rayna, "Anyway things didn't go to plan for him. To be honest he didn't have much talent. Not that that stops anyone now days, but back then you had to at least be able to hold a tune. I was so wrapped up in my little love bubble, that I didn't notice how talent less he was. I tried to help as much as I could. I had always loved writing in school so I started writing songs for him. This just made it worse. The lack of success made him bitter and well…" Sadie sculls the remainder of her drink and slams the glass on the table "…that was when the violence started."

Shaking her head, Sadie pushes her hands through her hair as she continues. "God, I'm such a cliché for domestic violence. First was it just a push out of the way when we fought, then he would grab my arms and shake me in frustration, the biggest shock was when he first slapped me. Think we were both horrified, and god he was so loving and remorseful afterwards. As you can predict, that didn't last long. He had me so convinced at that stage that I couldn't live without him that I forgave him over and over again and stayed. He didn't hit me all the time, in fact it was pretty rare I guess compared to most cases. It was enough though to undermine my confidence. What saved me from that familiar ending of so many domestic violence victims, is his lack of employment." Sadie kept her eyes on the glass in front of her, her hands tearing the beer coaster as she continues to relive the past.

"I picked up another crumby job, this one at the local bar which had an open mic night. Before I knew it, I was helping some of the regulars out with lyrics and when I was home by myself I would work on my own songs. One night a regular couldn't make it and I took the plunge and went up on stage and performed. I was hooked, I had finally found a place where I was not only at home but accepted."

Rayna by this stage had tears in her eyes. She had no idea that her friend had faced so much in her life. Wiping her eyes, she nodded and with a croaky voice "Music is like that for me as well. I never belonged in my Daddy's world and it felt so right when I was finally brave enough to get up on the stage."

Sadie gave a small nod to acknowledge that she had heard Rayna, but now that she had started to open up about her marriage she felt the need to continue without interruption. "I should have known that the joy couldn't last. We went out to celebrate my birthday and ended up at the bar. My friends didn't know what I was dealing with at home, so when they dragged me up on stage they had no idea how it would impact me later. I was singing and writing for fun, never really thinking it would go anywhere, little did I know that that night there was a scout in the audience. Thank god I didn't know, because I was pretty wasted and it definitely wasn't a stellar performance. But my darling husband seized any opportunity that came his way. So after the scout approached me about laying down a track that was when he pounced and got me to sign that damn bar napkin."

"Who would have thought that a napkin would come back and haunt me years later, though I guess knowing him like I do I should have suspected it. But after he landed me in hospital again, I knew I had to leave. It was the hardest thing I had to do, just up and leave everything I had known behind, to create a clean slate for myself. So when he came after me for half my earnings…to even have the nerve to lay claim to my success after everything he did to me…. I was terrified. I knew what he was capable of physically but as soon as I saw him, all those doubts about myself came rushing back…I was actually thinking maybe I did owe everything I had achieved to him. To know that he still had that ability to reduce my confidence." By this stage Sadie was hunched over defeated and whispering, "I was so ashamed of myself for letting him mess with me again… but I thank god for being surrounded by so many proud and strong women on my journey to success. They had planted a seed of strength in me that I never knew I had. I was able to stand up to him and thanks to you I never have to deal with him again."

"Girl, never doubt yourself and don't you EVER give that power to anyone. Promise me you will never doubt your talent, you are the real deal!" Rayna says grasping Sadie hand and squeezing while holding back tears "you are amazing." Sadie grabs a nearby napkin and wipes her eyes, nodding in response to what Rayna said. With a voice full of emotion, Sadie looks Rayna in the eyes "thanks to you. None of this would be possible without you."

"Rubbish, you did it all yourself. I was just back up to your awesomeness!"

Smiling sadly, Sadie sniffs and states "I need another drink!" Waving to get the attention of the waiter, Sadie contemplates what she has just shared with Rayna. It felt good to come clean with all the sordid details of her past, especially with someone who she knows won't judge her. Thinking about her past gets her wondering about Rayna's, even though they are friends she realises that she knows hardly anything about the woman in front of her. Rayna's past is a mystery. She knows that she had managed to get to the top of the country music industry without giving away personal details, which is a difficult thing to achieve now days.

The crowd was slowly building with people coming in for after works drinks. They had both placed their orders and were lost in their own thoughts as they contemplated the afternoon's conversation. The drinks in their hands and the ones already under their belts, gave them the illusion of an emotional buffer so that they felt ready to continue ripping the band aids off their unhealed wounds.

"What about you Rayna. I've heard some of those songs you have written, I know it hasn't all been chocolate and roses, you have had some major hurt in your life." Sadie was determined to get to the bottom of Rayna's reluctance to admit to herself that see needed Deacon. From what she had learnt about Rayna since first meeting her, Deacon has always been in her life to varying degrees. Sadie was convinced that people have constantly tried to get Rayna to cut him free. There was obviously a reason why she never had and Sadie was on a mission. She was going to get Rayna to admit the truth to herself so that she can finally have the happiness in her life that she deserved.

"You are one of the most independent self assured women I know. Who is it that has hurt you so badly, because some of those lyrics are pretty damn powerful. Is it Deacon? If it is, to be honest, why do you keep going back to him? Why would you continue to have someone in your life who continues to hurt you over and over again? You have calved out an amazing career for yourself, never compromising on your vision, never having to share your success with anyone so why would keep bringing that level of pain back into your life?"

Putting her head down on her folded arms on the table, Rayna plays with a discarded peanut while she contemplates what Sadie asked. She is the first to admit that hers and Deacon's relationship has caused so much heartache to each of them over the years, but at the core of it they both know that they aren't complete unless they are in each others lives. So many people over the years had failed to understand that, to understand that they both gave each other the strength to face their adversaries. Rayna knew that without Deacon she would never have achieved the level of success that she has.

"People have always failed to understand our relationship. I once said that without Deacon Claybourne there would be no Rayna Jaymes and it's true. Having your best friend fighting in your corner, calling you out for bad decisions and generally having my back allowed me to have this career. No matter what we did to each other over the years we had that strength between us and that hasn't changed." Sadie sipped her drink, not daring to interrupt Rayna as she finally opened up about the unbreakable bond between herself and Deacon. "I knew the minute I started pushing him away after I put Luke's ring on, that I had made a mistake. All those people in my life constantly telling me that Deacon was no good…that he just brings me down…that he would just hurt me all over again…. Well they finally won, I finally believed them. I choose the other guy, the guy with the clean slate cause I had lost track of who I was… and what was important to me. I thought that distance and focusing on loving Luke would finally break me of Deacon but the more I pushed the more I needed him. You know what finally brought it crashing home for me?" Rayna asks Sadie.

Narrowing her eyes at her drink while drunkenly raising the glass and pointing a finger at Sadie "My beautiful girls…..hmmm I think I need another drink….ummmm" looking confused at what she was trying to say. "My wonderful daughters broke my heart and crashed through those walls I had constructed to convince myself I was happy. They had written a song for me and Luke but little did they know that the words they sang at the rehearsal dinner were giving me the strength to finally admit the truth. When Maddie said that her Dad helped her write the song…well that is so Deacon. Always putting my happiness first, no matter that it broke his own heart… well I thought it was Deacon who helped her, imagine my shock when she later told me it was Teddy! Anyways everything just kept snowballing from that moment ending with Tandy. On the eve of the wedding Tandy was thinking she was talking me out of cold feet but in fact her pep talk just cemented my decision to choose Deacon."

Pushing her glass away, "actually, I can't drink anymore. You know, Deacon is the only person who has never tried to claim my success as his own. First it was Daddy, then Liam and finally Luke. That man…he…he is there for me no matter what I do to him, and I don't know why he continues to forgive me but I'm done. I'm done being scared. I'm done with denying myself happiness." Putting her head completely on her folded arms, so that her hair covers her, Rayna whispers more to herself than Sadie "I need that love in my life again, it scares me but I want it…. I don't know how to get it."

"Rayna, I don't know Deacon but the way I see it. If he is still here after" Sadie waves her hand around "all that" "He has not only forgiven you for whatever perceived injury you have done to him but he is just waiting for a sign from you. You have to bridge that divide."

"I told him that I loved him, that I've always loved him" Sadie's eyes go wide at this confession as Rayna continues "the night I ended the wedding I went over to his and laid open my heart but then I got scared and told him that I needed time…which I did. I needed to find me again but now I have created a gulf between us and I don't know how I am going to reach him again." Rayna's shaking shoulders giving away that she was silently crying into her arms. Scooting around, Sadie wraps an arm around her. "It will be ok Rayna, I know you and Deacon will find your way back to each other again. You both have dealt with so much over the years and I choose to believe that that was for a reason… so that you will have your time together again."