A/N: OKAY OKAY OKAY I SUCK, YES I DO, BUT LET ME EXPLAIN. At first I couldn't update because I had my first lot of university exams, which OKAYHOLYHELL I didn't expect to get so flustered by. I have discovered that sometimes drinking at 11 o'clock in the morning is perfectly reasonable, and during exams is pretty much the best time for it. FUCK EXAMS. Then came the next biggest reason I couldn't update: Glee Season Three finale. Allow me to carefully and eloquently describe my feelings for that episode.
Ahem.
(Moderate harsh language and incoherent ranting ahead)
FY)WP£IUUP)*NPFIUPISULYO"*PBC&P(NRP&UP(N!M_F*N_PMFIUPHFLHQPINJ: KFN:IDMA:OIWHLAIFJ:FUCK YOU VERY MUCH RYAN FUCKING MURPHY.
I have NEVER been angrier or more outraged by a television program, and I once watched a full episode of Toddlers and Tiaras. Just FUCK. BULLSHIT WANKING FUCK. I'm sorry, but hOUETHONOIDFUMPASODHFHoNO. Glee has spent the last three fucking years promoting the idea that it gets better, and what do we get instead? Sorry, kids! It doesn't matter if you do everything right, take the moral high ground, do your best to be a good person and support the people you love, LIFE WILL SHIT ON YOU FOREVER AND EVER AMEN. On the other hand, if you lie, cheat, backstab and are generally manipulative as fuck, everything will go according to plan and your dreams will come true! Happy life! I LIKE Rachel. Really, I do. But she did NOT deserve to get in instead of Kurt. I'm sorry, she just didn't. FUCK OFF AND DIE. I don't know if I will keep watching Glee after this, I really don't. I just can't. It has helped so many people and then to go and subvert its own message so hard PUHR QBFLFIAHFBOW£
TL;DR version: The last episode of Glee pissed me off so much I stopped reading, watching, listening to or doing anything that reminded me of it. I forced myself to finish this chapter anyway, and will finish the story.
By the time Kurt and Finn had gotten home from Glee practice Harry had more or less calmed down. Kurt could obviously see the redness of his eyes and the tension he was carrying around his mouth but other than giving Harry a long hug he didn't mention it, and the wizard couldn't have been more grateful. He didn't want to think about Remus and murder and responsibility; he wanted to forget everything and just be a kid for a couple of hours. Without Harry even having to say anything, Kurt seemed to understand.
"How about we see if we can't get a pizza tonight?" Kurt had suggested as soon as Finn had collapsed in front of the TV, Harry still tucked neatly under his boyfriend's arm. "My dad's upstairs, right? His car is outside."
Harry nodded wordlessly, and Kurt squeezed his hand, "I'll go ask him. We can just have a quiet night in... watch a movie as a family, maybe have some ice-cream after dinner... how does that sound?"
"That sounds amazing," Harry sighed a little, smiling and sagging against Kurt's side. Finn perked up as well from where he was slumped on the couch, looking up at Kurt with hopeful eyes.
"Can we get proper ice-cream? Like, not the no-fat soy stuff, but Ben & Jerry's or something?" Finn shot Harry a pained look, shuddering a little. "He's been buying that fake stuff for Burt, it's gross."
"I tried it once, it wasn't that bad," Harry protested, allowing Kurt to shoo him across the room to the couch with Finn. Finn shuddered again.
"Ice-cream should be from dairy cows, dude. It's just not right when it's, like, soy cow milk or whatever."
"It's a bean, Finn. Soy is a kind of bean," Kurt sighed as he wandered upstairs, muttering to himself about healthy menu options for Burt and finding the take away menus. Harry smiled a little at Finn's confused expression and decided to distract the boy from the intricacies of soy production.
"How was school, Finn?" he asked softly, reaching over with a vaguely trembling hand to flick Finn's arm. "Did anything exciting happen?"
Finn's expression cleared and he shrugged, scratching his chin, "Yeah, kind of. You know how Quinn's being kind of weird... oh, maybe you don't know..."
"Kurt told me," Harry interrupted him, shaking his head a little. "I know that she broke up with Sam and quit the Cheerios. It's a shame."
"Yeah, and she's been, like, talking to me a lot. Rachel thinks she wants to date me again and she's getting all weird about it. Rachel's getting weird, I mean. Today she and Quinn got into an argument about, like, borrowing and stealing sweaters, but I don't think it was actually about sweaters. They kept calling the sweater 'him'."
"That's probably a safe interpretation," Harry agreed, forcing a smile down at the mental image of a bemused Finn sitting in between the two furious girls, trying to keep up with the subtext while not getting dragged into the argument. "What about everyone else?"
"Well, Santana is going ape-shit on everyone who talks about you," Finn grinned a little. "Says nobody is allowed to make fun of her 'favourite fairy choir-boy' but her. A couple of Cheerios were gossiping and she told Coach Sylvester that they ate brownies before practice. That was before lunch, but they're probably still running laps."
"I'm so glad I'm on Santana's good side," Harry shook his head. Finn nodded emphatically.
"Yeah, uh. Being on her bad side is a - it's a bad thing, yeah," the taller boy looked a little pale, and Harry's lips quirked into a smile.
"I'm assuming you've been in her bad books, then?" Harry bit his lip as Finn went even paler at the memory. "I won't ask."
"Thank you."
Kurt came back into the room a couple of minutes later, when Finn was half-way through a story of Artie's attempts to snag a new Cheerio girlfriend with gangster rap, dangling his car keys in between two fingers.
"Dad says we can order pizzas, but someone else has to go and get the ice cream. Finn," he began, his voice tight and strained. Both boys on the couch looked over at him, and Kurt sighed harshly. "I'm going to give you the keys to my baby."
"Whoa," Finn whispered reverently, and Harry raised his eyebrows up to his hairline. "You mean I get to -"
"You're going to carefully and slowly drive my Navigator to the store," Kurt interrupted, pinning his step-brother with a fierce look. "And buy several tubs of ice-cream. Enough for everyone, and in a few different flavours to cater for everyone. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, absolutely," Finn jumped to his feet and tried to grab at the keys. Kurt pulled them out of his reach and pointed his finger right up in his brother's face.
"And you will be careful?" he confirmed, his eyes narrowed to suspicious slits. Finn nodded frantically. "And you'll drive slowly and double check every turn-"
"Dude, I will respect your car like it was my own baby," Finn promised, clasping his hands in front of him like a prayer. "Seriously. I promise. There won't be a single scuff mark, and if there is you can burn all of my clothes and buy me a whole new wardrobe."
"Go," Kurt ordered Finn with a sigh, dropping his keys into his brother's waiting hands and pointing at the door. "Don't make me regret this."
Finn let out a cheer and rushed out the door, accidentally slamming into the doorframe in his haste. Kurt rolled his eyes and turned to face Harry where he was still sitting on the couch.
"I know I'm going to regret that," he informed the wizard mournfully, wincing when he heard a car door slam. "I just know it. But I don't trust dad not to go overboard if I give him permission to buy real ice-cream."
"And you think Finn won't?" Harry smiled as Kurt began rubbing his forehead, no doubt imagining the mountains of junk food he was going to have to hide from his father. Harry's voice got softer as he reached out a hand to his boyfriend, trying to ignore how his hands shook. "Thank you for staying with me, though, love."
"There's nowhere I'd rather be," Kurt caught Harry's hand and joined him on the couch, curling up at his side and pressing a smacking kiss to his cheek. "Hermione texted me while she was shopping, said you had a long day. If you want to talk about it, we can, but right now I want you to forget all about that... and make out with me for a while. Okay?"
"Oh, well, if I have to..." Harry rolled his eyes in jest, giving an exaggerated sigh as Kurt let out a mock offended noise and pushed him onto his back. Harry smiled against Kurt's mouth as his boyfriend pressed their lips together, kissing him lightly and letting the world fall away. It wasn't heated or exciting like some of their previous make out sessions had been; it was slow, gentle, soothing. Every gentle caress of Kurt's lips over his made the tight ball of anxiety in Harry's chest begin to loosen, and Kurt's warm body hovering over his made him feel so safe. He ran his hands through Kurt's styled hair carefully, making sure not to mess it up too badly, and he let out a soft, happy breath when Kurt's long-fingered hand clasped his hip in its strong grip.
It couldn't have been more than five minutes - five glorious, wonderful minutes - when the boys on the couch heard an awkward, amused cough from the stairs. Kurt leaned up automatically and raised a fluttering hand to his hair, patting down, and Harry craned his neck to see around the back of the sofa. Burt was making his way downstairs, a look of fake-disapproval not quite sitting right on his face.
"Oh I get it. This is why you wanted me to stay upstairs; so you could mack on your boytoy on my couch in the meanwhile," Burt quipped, reaching over the back of the couch to ruffle Harry's already messy hair, flicking his son on the nose as Kurt rolled his eyes.
"I suggested you stay upstairs and nap because you looked tired. You didn't do too much at work today, did you?" Kurt got to his feet, straightening his wrinkled clothes idly as he looked over his father with a critical eye. "Your doctor said only light duties for at least another two months-"
"'m fine, Kurt, don't worry about it," Burt grumbled, sharing a brief conspiratorial look with Harry. Harry could feel Kurt's suspicious gaze turn to him, and he carefully didn't meet his eyes.
"Harry," Kurt began slowly, his hands migrating to his hips with a stern glare forming on his face. "My dad didn't mention to you about any hard work he did today, did he?"
"...no?" Harry tried, and Burt gave a put-upon sigh as Kurt rounded on his father with a glare. "Sorry, Burt, I'm crap at lying to him."
"That's probably a good thing," Burt mumbled as he began to fidget under Kurt's stare. "It was just unloading a few boxes, kiddo, don't worry about it."
Kurt sighed and rubbed his temple, "The doctor said-"
"The doctor said that I could start easing myself back into more physical stuff soon," Burt raised his hands to ward off Kurt's arguments. "And yeah, maybe not that much, but I was careful, kiddo. I've been careful. I got no plans to leave you any time soon."
Harry bit his lip and Kurt glared for a few more moments before huffing, "You're eating a salad with your pizza tonight."
"Which one of us is the parent here? Jesus," Burt grumbled as Kurt sat down again, motioning for the two boys to make room for him. "You mind if I join you? Deadliest Catch is on."
"Sure," Harry agreed as he shuffled down the couch, still touched by the father-son moment he'd been allowed to see. He let out a surprised yelp when Kurt suddenly dragged him onto his lap and wrapped his arms around his waist, blushing a little when Burt snickered at him. He turned his head to whisper in his boyfriend's ear. "I'm going to wrinkle your clothes."
Kurt shrugged, "It's wool, it'll be fine. Cuddle with me."
"But your dad-"
"He doesn't mind. Do you, dad?"
"As long as you boys can keep your tongues out of one another's mouths, we're fine," Burt waved the remote at them in a sort of welcoming motion. "Now shut up so I can watch my show."
"Yes, dad."
"Yes, Burt."
Finn, predictably, came back almost an hour later with more ice-cream than Harry had ever seen outside of a supermarket. Burt and Kurt had stopped arguing over what movies the house was going to watch that night ("Kurt, buddy, I love you, but if I have to sit through RENT again I'm gonna scream." "Well I'm not watching one of those dumb baseball movies again until someone has the good sense to digitally alter their pants into something not hideous.") in order to stare as Finn staggered into the house, arms laden down with bags upon bags full of ice-cream cartons, his expression triumphant.
"Good Grilled Cheesus, Finn, how much did you spend?" Kurt asked as the four men tried to fit all the cartons in the fridge. Finn looked a little sheepish.
"There was a sale," he mumbled, looking down longingly at the tubs in his hand. "Buy two, get one free. But yeah. Kind of... a lot? Like, a lot. A lot of money. Um... hey, Harry? Can I borrow some mon-"
"Do not even think about it Finnegan Francis Hudson," Kurt smacked Finn across the back of the head as Burt gave a long-suffering sigh and Harry stifled a chuckle. "You are not hitting up my boyfriend for cash just because you have no impulse control."
"But he's got, like, heaps of it, and I need to by Rachel a present for the anniversary of the first time I said 'I love you' to her," Finn sounded increasingly frantic as he looked down in dismay at the ice-cream Burt was trying (and failing) to shove into the freezer. "I spent all of my allowance AND my shop earnings on this."
"I'll pay you back for some of it, Finn, since it's for everyone and not just you," Burt promised, shaking his head at Kurt snort and muttered, 'Oh please, he's going to eat most of it.' Harry patted Finn on the arm, trying not to flinch when the feeling of skin on skin made his flesh crawl. "But not for all of it. I'll give you maybe fifty bucks? After that you're on your own."
"I'd love to help you out, Finn, but I don't have any cash out at the moment," Harry added when Finn whimpered pathetically and pinned him with pleading eyes. "I haven't exactly been shopping recently. I don't even know where my wallet is."
"Oh yeah," Finn's shoulders slumped and he peered at Kurt hopefully. "Kurt-?"
"Not a chance in hell," Kurt snapped, putting the tubs in his hands on the bench with a thump. "I'm saving up for this gorgeous Marc Jacobs wool mohair pea coat I saw on eBay, your poor financial planning is not my fault. I'm going to get the cooler out of the garage, this is ridiculous."
"Good thinking, kiddo," Burt agreed, sitting down at the kitchen table and giving Finn a sympathetic look when the tall teenager slumped down next to him. "Possibly not such good thinking on your part, Finn."
"I know," the boy said mournfully, looking at his hands. "I was just so excited that I got to drive the Navigator and that we were getting proper ice cream and that I got to pick... Rachel's gonna kill me, ever since Harry took Kurt to Le Beau she's been hinting that she wanted to go there."
"Sorry, mate," Harry apologised with a sheepish smile. "Didn't mean to set the bar so high."
"It's gonna be even higher now," Burt added with a grin. At Finn's confused look he elaborated. "Puck's taking that Hermione girl to Le Beau tonight. I tell ya, when I was your age I never woulda even thought of taking a girl there."
"Puck's taking a girl there too?" Finn threw his hands up in the air. "That's it, I may as well just tell Rachel to dump me now. I'll call Quinn, maybe she'll take me back. Probably not, though, since I'm a deadbeat."
"You're not actually thinking of breaking up with Rachel for Quinn, are you?" Harry tilted his head to the side. "I mean, I like Quinn too but she did get pregnant with your best friend's kid. I don't know much about relationships but I'd think that would kinda be a deal breaker in terms of trust and stuff."
"Well yeah, she did," Finn admitted, scratching his ear and squinting at the wall thoughtfully. "And I'm not really thinking about breaking up with Rachel, I mean, I love her, but... Quinn's really cool too."
"Don't do it, buddy," Burt clapped Finn on the shoulder, getting up to help Kurt maneuver the cooler around the doorway and into the room. "Down that path lies madness. If you love Rachel and you're happy with her, don't go lookin' for happiness elsewhere too."
"Wait, what's going on? Finn's looking elsewhere?" Kurt thumped the cooler down onto the table, pinning Finn with a fierce look. "Finn, if you are thinking about cheating on Rachel then I'm sorry, but I will be obliged to kill you."
"I'm not going to cheat on Rachel, I'm just thinking about what I'll do when she dumps me for blowing all my anniversary savings on ice cream," Finn moaned and dropped his head to the table, letting it hit with a dull thud. Harry leaned over so Finn could hear him.
"Look, if this is in a little while I can get some cash out to cover one dinner. I'll ask Hermione to get some tomorrow," Harry raised a hand to silence Kurt's protests, smiling a little at his boyfriend's annoyed pout. "Ron and Hermione said that you guys had refused to let me pay for what I used when I was here, and Finn has been very patient with me taking over his house, so let me do this. Please. It'll make me feel less guilty about all this."
Kurt rolled his eyes, but Harry could see him caving in, "Fine. Teach him bad habits. See if I care. Just don't come running to me when he wants you to buy him ten copies of Shooter Guy City 6000 or whatever."
"Dude, I promise I will never ask you for anything ever again if you shout me this one thing. And I'll pay you back as soon as I can if you want, just help me out," Finn begged, looking about half a second away from falling to his knees. Harry shook his head.
"Finn, it's fine. I'll shout you however much you need, and you don't have to pay me back. Consider it my apology for taking over your house."
"You totally don't need to apologize for that but please give me the money anyway."
"It's yours," Harry laughed a little, but his laugh cut off when Finn suddenly cheered and jumped to his feet, wrapping his arms around Harry in a tight hug. Instinct took over for a moment and then Finn was on the ground and Harry was on the other side of the room, body tense and ready for a fight. It only took a moment for him to realise what had happened.
"Oh my God, did I hurt him?" Harry whispered into the shocked-silent room. Finn sat up with a groan, rubbing the back of his head with one hand.
"No, it's cool. That was my fault anyway."
"Oh thank Jacobs," Kurt breathed out, rushing to help Finn to his feet. He and Burt had frozen in place when Harry had moved, and now it seemed as though they'd snapped out of their shock as they both helped heave Finn to his feet. As soon as the boy was upright Kurt was turning to Harry, his face lined with worry.
"He's all right, sweetie, don't worry about it. I've told him a dozen times not to touch you when you don't expect it, it's not your fault-"
"Finn, I'm so sorry," Harry interrupted, whispering. He felt like he was going to choke on the guilt when he saw Finn wince and touch the back of his head, and tears welled in his eyes as his throat went tight. Finn waved him off.
"You just shoved me dude, I'm okay. It wasn't even that hard, and 'snot like you actually did any damage. I don't think I even have a bump."
"I can't find one," Burt agreed, running his fingers lightly over the back of Finn's head. "I gotta be honest, I don't even think he woulda fallen if he hadn't tripped over his own feet. No offence, Finn."
"No, it's cool," Finn responded, but Harry was once again deafened by the rushing in his ears. He felt Kurt's warm arms fold around him as his brain went back into meltdown.
Hurt him, hurt Finn, he's just a kid, he didn't deserve that, monster, you're a monster, you just hurt people people Kurt, don't hurt Kurt, what if I hurt Kurt? I can't do this, it's too much, it's too much scared, scared scared scared can't can't got to should die, I should die, don't hurt them, please don't let me hurt him...
"Oh geez, is he having another one of those attack things? I'm so sorry, Kurt, I didn't mean to - "
"I know, Finn, could you just... clear out for a few minutes?"
"...but the ice-cream will melt."
"Finn-"
"Finn, Buddy, let's go into the living room. The ice-cream will survive."
"Right, right, uh. Sorry, Harry."
"He can't hear you, Finn, just go."
Just Kurt, Kurt is holding me safe but no, no no no I hurt him, I hurt Finn why why why monster, I'm a monster murderer dangerous unsafe, i just want to feel safe again...
"Harry, sweetheart, it's okay. Everything is fine. Finn is fine. Well, he's an idiot, but he was already an idiot. It's okay, you're safe. Deep breaths, Harry, come on."
Minutes dragged on as Harry fought to get back into control of his body, fought to keep down the rolling nausea and just focus on the warmth and safety of Kurt's arms...
"I really hate my body," Harry managed to gasp out dryly, shuddering against Kurt's side. Kurt chuckled and squeezed Harry's bicep, dropping his voice to a whisper.
"That's all right, I like your body enough for the both of us. Anyway," Kurt's cheeks flushed pink as Harry let out an unattractive snort at his little comment, hurrying to move on. "You're feeling better, then?"
"For the next ten minutes or so, I'm sure," Harry agreed wryly, pulling back from Kurt's side to rub at his face. "Then a butterfly will flutter past and I'll undoubtedly start sobbing again..."
"I promise to protect you from butterflies and moths and any other vicious insect monsters, okay?" Kurt pressed a short kiss to the side of Harry's head before backing away a little, moving towards the living room. "Do you want to try and fit some of this damn ice-cream into the cooler? I'll go and get dad and Finn."
"Sure thing," Harry shuffled towards the bench where the ice-cream had carelessly been dumped, rubbing the last of the tear tracks from his cheeks. He stuffed a few tubs of ice-cream into the cooler, stacking them together and forcing himself not to flinch when Burt and Finn followed Kurt back into the kitchen. He forced a short smile up at them before looking back down to the ice-cream, and he heard Finn clear his throat.
"Sorry for scaring you, dude. I just totally wasn't thinking," the taller boy shifted a little where he stood, and when Harry looked up Finn looked somewhat sheepish. The wizard shrugged and smiled back weakly.
"It's fine, Finn. All's forgiven. I'm sorry for shoving you like that. Are you sure your head is okay?"
"Yeah, it's cool. Doesn't even hurt now," Finn nodded and began cautiously shuffling towards Harry. "Can we - can we help with this?"
"If you like," Harry agreed, smiling more naturally - if a little guiltily - when he heard Kurt mutter, 'Of course he's fine, it was just his head. He doesn't really use that anyway.' "I think there should be enough room in the cooler for the rest of it, if we're clever about it."
"Right, lets get to work before it's all sloppy," Burt grunted, grabbing an armful of tubs and making his way over, shooting Harry an understanding nod when the boy caught his eye - everything was fine. Harry relaxed minutely and handed a tub to Kurt, grinning when his boyfriend shot him a cheeky wink and smacked Finn upside the head in one movement.
"Do not start eating now, Finnegan, I swear to god."
"I was just tasting it..."
Carole found them in a similar position half an hour later, when she got home from work; Harry and Burt quietly fitting the ice-cream into the cooler and freezer while Kurt and Finn bickered, the latter stealing spoonfuls of ice-cream whenever he could and the former ordering the others to arrange the ice-cream by colour - no alphabetically, or maybe by flavour? She watched wordlessly for a few moments, apparently torn between amusement and bemusement, and Harry waved shlyly, balancing a few tubs in one hand.
"Do I even want to know?" she asked, laughter in her voice. Kurt rolled his eyes as Burt chuckled and Finn looked at the floor.
"I asked Finn to buy some ice-cream. He apparently heard "some" as "all"."
"I see," Carole shot her son a Look, and Finn shuffled his feet sheepishly. Harry just continued to quietly pack away the last few tubs. Merlin, that was, what, fifty-odd things of ice-cream? We're going to be eating this for weeks!
"Well, I didn't know what everyone liked, or how much I should get and stuff..." Finn trailed off as Carole's expression remained unimpressed. "Um... I got your favourite? You like Cherry Garcia, right?"
Carole smiled reluctantly, walking forward to peck Finn on the cheek and take Burt's hand, "Yes, thank you, sweetheart. So what's the plan for the evening, then? Are we having a party?"
"Nope, just a quiet night in," Burt clapped Kurt on the shoulder and grinned. "Kurt's idea. We figured we'd get a pizza, watch a movie or two... got any preferences?"
"Anything with Ewan McGregor in it, or any other equivalent eye-candy," Carole shot Kurt and Harry a wink, laughing a little when Kurt nodded approvingly and Harry blushed. Finn perked up a little.
"He's been in a couple of action movies..."
Harry shot Kurt an alarmed look, and Kurt quickly vetoed that idea, "How about a comedy of some kind? I feel like something light-hearted."
The family managed to settle on a movie after a few minutes arguement, and then Burt and Carole sent the three boys upstairs to do homework until. Harry quietly gathered up his supplies from the coffee table in the living room as Finn grumbled and Kurt grabbed their bags from the doorway where they'd been dumped.
"The faster we do it, the faster we get to pizza and ice-cream," Kurt reminded Finn, shoving the boy's ratty backpack into his arms before motioning for Harry to follow him. "Harry, sweetie, do you want any help catching up with yours?"
"I think I'll be all right," Harry assured his boyfriend, lifting up onto his toes to press an impulsive kiss to Kurt's cheek as they started up the stairs. "I flicked through it earlier, it didn't look too hard."
"I could use a little help," Finn smiled hopefully at Kurt as they approached their rooms, and Kurt smiled reluctantly back.
"Sure, Finn. Harry, do you mind if he joins us?"
"Not at all."
The three teenagers made themselves comfortable in Kurt's room, Kurt at his desk, Harry on the bed, Finn on the floor, books and papers strewn around them. Harry quietly worked through a handful of math problems, not struggling with the relatively easy concepts, and kept an interested eye on Kurt and Finn. Kurt was tapping away at his laptop, apparently working on something for Literature if the book open next to him was anything to go by, while prompting Finn when Finn called out questions absentmindedly.
"I totally didn't know Pearl Harbour actually happened," Finn was mumbling somewhere to Harry's left, and Kurt sighed heavily. "I thought it was just a movie. How come we're, like, cool with the Japanese now? I mean, we have sushi and anime and stuff."
"Because we kind of out-did them when we dropped a bomb on Hiroshima," Kurt shook his head at Finn's bemused look. "Honestly, Finn, read the book. There's all kinds of historical horrors for you to discover. And for the record, Titanic actually happened too."
"Dude, really?"
Harry stifled a chuckle as Kurt let his head hit his desk with a thud. The math problems in front of him seemed paltry in front of Finn's issues with learning. He managed to finish them quite fast, and he was reaching for his own Literature text when Finn spoke up again, his voice a lot softer now.
"Did America really drop bombs on civilian cities?"
Kurt paused again, his expression melting from annoyed to vaguely pitying, and Harry lowered his book. The boyfriends exchanged a glance and Kurt slowly turned to face his brother, "Yes, Finn. We did. It was - I mean, it helped end the second world war, so it's not like it was done for no reason, but... yeah. We did."
Finn was still looking at his book quietly, and after a moment he whispered, "But I thought... weren't we the good guys?"
"It was war, Finn," Kurt pointed out gently, and shot an apologetic look at Harry. "Bad things were done on both sides. I mean, considering we were fighting the Nazis and Hitler, who was basically Satan, yeah, I'd say we were on the good side, but that doesn't mean the USA didn't do anything bad at all. War is more complicated than that."
"It's true," Harry found himself saying, barely aware he was speaking. All he could see was Finn's pale, devastated face; he's just a kid. He doesn't understand that things aren't all black and white. He doesn't know. "Even good - even usually good people can do terrible things sometimes. Sometimes they have to. War is... it's one of those times where things just aren't simple."
It's one of those times where people tell sixteen-year-olds to aim to kill. It's one of those times where a school can become a battleground. It's one of those times where good people - great people - will manipulate loved ones like pawns for the sake of the Greater Good.
"Harry?"
Kurt's voice broke into his thoughts, and Harry glanced up. Both Kurt and Finn were looking at him with worry in their eyes, and he smiled reassuringly.
"I'm all right, just - thinking," Harry looked down at his book, not really seeing the words. Finn mumbled to himself,
"I was just wondering, I didn't mean to-"
"Finn, really, it's fine. It's something that's hard to understand, you should ask people about it," Harry looked up at Finn and tried to look as sincere as possible. Finn looked down at his book.
"It's just... my dad was a soldier, you know? He died in Iraq... I just. He's my hero, and-"
"And this shouldn't change a thing," Kurt slipped down onto the floor next to Finn. "Your dad gave his life for his country. He fought for what he believed in, to help, to protect people, that's what soldiers do. He was a hero, and you should be proud of him."
As Finn began to nod slowly, still looking thoughtfully at his book, Kurt's words began to circle in Harry's head. He fought for what he believed in. That's what soldiers do. He was a hero.
Huh.
"Harry?"
Finn's voice cut into Harry's thoughts, and the wizard looked down at the boy on the floor curiously. He felt oddly calm in the face of his memories, and he felt himself smile a little at Finn, "Yeah?"
"Did you know any soldiers?" Finn flinched a little at Kurt's warning look and shrugged helplessly. "It's just - that w-war you saw really hurt you, and it's like - it seems like you must have-"
"I knew a lot of soldiers," Harry interrupted, looking thoughtfully over the top of Finn's head at the wall behind him, faces flashing through his memory, faces of men and woman he'd fought alongside; Wesley Patterson, Lewis Newbury, Tonks, Kingsley... some dead, some alive, all damaged by the war. "They were all heroes. Some of them were complete arseholes who I kind of wanted to punch sometimes, but they were all - they were all heroes."
"Did they all die?" Finn's voice sounded ridiculously small considering his size, and Kurt was watching Harry carefully. Harry just smiled and looked down at his hands.
"Not all of them," the wizard shrugged and idly tugged at the edge of his text book. "You should... keep reading. It's good stuff to understand, and the notes I've got say that the aftermath of Hiroshima might be on the exam."
"Oh yeah," Finn looked back down at his book with a frown, picking up a pen again reluctantly. Kurt gave his step-brother one last pat on the shoulder before getting to his feet, ignoring his own work and sweeping over to Harry to kiss him soundly on the mouth. Harry shut his eyes as Kurt swooped in, smiling against his boyfriend's soft lips until Kurt pulled back. Kurt looked down at him with bright eyes and a fierce expression, and Harry shrugged.
"Look at me, getting through a whole conversation without freaking out."
"I'm proud of you," Kurt insisted, keeping his voice low and leaning forward press his forehead against Harry's. "That was really good, and I'm so proud of you. Do you think you can keep working or do you want to stop?"
"We've only been at it twenty minutes," Harry pointed out, looking down at his books. "I should at least start an essay plan."
"Okay," Kurt nodded easily, kissing Harry once on the cheek before straightening and returning to his computer. "Just stop if you get tired; Hermione said that your body is going to be fast to tire for a little while."
The three boys managed to work in relative silence, broken only by Finn's occasional questions and Kurt's usually patient answers, until Carole knocked on the door with a smile.
"What kind of pizza do you boys want?" Carole waved a little pad of paper in front of her before positioning a pen at the ready, looking expectantly at her sons. Finn perked up and basically launched the book of his lap, clambering to his feet as he started to make his order.
"Can we get a large Meat Lovers with extra bacon and a barbeque chicken with sausage and - "
"Okay, you know what? Just write it down here," Carole threw the pad of paper over to her son, snickering a little when it bounced off of his face and he scrambled after it. "What about you, Harry, Kurt?"
"Can I have a Hawaiian, please, Carole?" Kurt smiled up at his step-mother, and Harry nodded as he went on. "Harry and I can probably share, actually, he doesn't eat much."
"And I might steal a piece of one of Finn's Artery Clogger Supreme," the wizard added, peering over the edge of the bed to where Finn had sat down again to write out a long list of orders. "I don't think he'll miss one piece."
"Probably not," Carole agreed dryly. "Kurt, your father and I are getting a caeser salad with our pizzas, would you like one?"
"Thank you, but no. I'm going to be bad today," Kurt looked thoughtful for a moment, before shooting Harry a look. "Though perhaps you should have a bit..."
"One night lacking in nutritional content won't kill me," Harry shook his head, smiling at Carole. "I'll be all right with bits of other people's pizzas."
"All right, great," Carole looked down at Finn, rolling her eye when she saw that he'd filled up the page with his order. "Finn, sweetheart, you have ice-cream to eat as well."
Finn blinked up at her, "Yeah, I know."
His mother sighed and held out her hand for the notebook, and Finn quickly scribbled a few lines and handed it over. She tucked it under her arm and waved to them, stepping back out of the room, "I'll leave you boys to your homework."
"Thanks Carole," Kurt waved his step-mother out. He smiled at his boyfriend and winked. "Tonight's going to be fun, I can feel it."
It really was. The family and Harry eventually managed to agree on a comedy with an attractive male lead - the name of whom immediately escaped Harry - and ate pizza until there were empty boxes stacked high on the coffee table. Finn managed to clear off nearly four full pizzas on his own, to the disgust of Kurt, and washed it down with an entire gallon of Coke. When it came time for them to break out the ice-cream (Burt allowing Kurt to serve him a small portion) Harry sampled little bits of several tubs, smiling at Carole when the woman guiltily added chocolate sauce to her bowl. Harry ate until he felt ill, and it wasn't until he was getting ready for bed that he remembered why he'd been so upset in the first place - Remus.
"We think he may have killed someone," - it's all my fault, I shouldn't have - he's in an institution - may have killed someone - all my fault, should have stopped him, could have helped him, Remus I need you, why did you have to go, I need a draught, I need a draught, why did he take them he left me he left me he killed someone -
He was making his way down the stairs towards where Kurt was setting up the couch for sleep before he knew what he was doing. Kurt looked up with a smile that faded when he saw the stricken look on Harry's face. Before he could ask, Harry blurted out, "They think Remus killed someone."
There was a long pause. Kurt's eyes went wide, horrified, and Harry felt the pain he'd been ignoring bubble back up. "He - they don't know for sure, we don't have any details yet but that's what they said. We just heard today, this morning, that's why I was... He might have killed someone and if he did, if he has then it's my fault -
"Sweetheart, no," Kurt protested, snapped out of his shock to cross the room, pulling Harry into his arms as the smaller boy began to tear up.
"He's in a hospital," he wept, not sure if Kurt could even hear him but needing to say it out loud. "He's in a mental hospital, and he might have killed someone, and I'm here ignoring it, being happy like this and I shouldn't be, I don't deserve to be when he's so hurt and he's hurt someone and I could have stopped it-"
"Harry, please," Kurt begged, desperately running his hands up and down Harry's back to try and sooth the nearly hysterical boy. Harry just shook his head and held on tighter.
"Can I sleep with you tonight? Just - down here or in your room? Please? I don't want to be alone," Harry begged against where he was pressed against Kurt's chest.
"Of course," Kurt kissed Harry's forehead and lead his boyfriend up the stairs, rubbing circles on Harry's back as they staggered their way into Kurt's room. Harry let himself be lowered to the bed, not concerned with anything except clinging onto Kurt and burying his face into the crook of his neck. Kurt slipped off Harry's glasses and tugged the blankets over them with one hand, whispering quiet assurances into Harry's hair.
"Just sleep, sweetheart," Kurt whispered, letting Harry cling to him. "It'll seem better in the morning. Just sleep. I won't let you go. I love you, Harry. I love you so much. This will get better. I promise."