Drunk Rayna on the way to Deacon's...what could possibly go wrong?
Rayna stumbled out of the taxi, the shock of the cold air adding to the buzz from the afternoon session with Sadie. She stood there swaying in front of the house trying to focus on the front door. Somewhere deep inside her a small glimmer of light was beginning to shine amongst the alcohol numbed thoughts. She was right where she was meant to be. Taking the first of many unsteady steps she slowly and carefully makes her way up the front steps. Bumping into the brink pillar at the top she slurs out a quick sorry, then realising what she just said sorry to, she begins to giggle.
Taking a deep breath to centre herself she quickly takes the last remaining steps to arrive at her destination. Raising a shaky hand she knocks on the door, hesitantly at first then gaining more confidence, knocking louder. Hearing no response she presses her face up against the glass, peering in hoping to see some movement. With a voice scratchy from a big drinking session and full of hope Rayna tries to raise the occupant of the house "Deacon?" Still hearing no movement, she begins a chorus of alternative knocking and calling his name. Still not getting any response, she kicks the door in frustration while wiggling the door handle and whispering a pleading final "Deacon".
Crumpling down against the door, her eyes brimming with tears Rayna bangs her head against the locked door. This was so typical of her and Deacon, never on the same page at the same time. She really did think this time would be different but maybe she had blown it. She had asked for time and he had given it to her. Maybe he had decided that after all this time, all the drama and hurtful things she had done to him that she wasn't worth the wait. Closing her eyes against the pain that thought brought with it, a niggling thought pushed its way through the fuzziness of her brain.
Deacon had hidden a front door key, years ago when he finally got fed up with Rayna misplacing hers and calling him to come and rescue her. Rayna wondered if he ever got around to removing it. Crawling over to the pillar and dragging herself up, Rayna stumbles down the steps and makes her way around to the side of the house. After a couple of false starts she finally remembers exactly where the key was hidden. The problem now being that she had to reach into the darkness and grope around in whatever to hopefully find the key. Kneeling down in what passed as a garden, she screws her face up as she bravely thrusts her hand into the unknown. Her fingers stumble and graze the various oddments that accumulate under a house over the years. When she is about to give up hope, her fingers finger something that seems out of place. Stretching her arm to the maximum she holds her breath as she grasps in desperation and is successful as she pulls back what she hopes are keys.
Dangling her treasure in front of her eyes she allows a small smile of satisfaction erupt over her face. Crawling back out from underneath the shrub she had to wiggle under to get to the hiding spot, she makes her way back to the front door. Her alcohol addled coordination forces her to make a couple of failed attempts to get the key in the lock, when she is finally successful she stumbles through the door slamming it shut in triumph. Raising both arms above her head and spinning, she gives thanks to the imaginary crowd who are cheering her at her success at gaining access. Giggling to herself and her silliness, she slowly takes in Deacon's living room.
She can see various bits and pieces that Maddie had left here, making this as much her home as Belle Meade. A smile of happiness at this thought graces Rayna's face. That Deacon and Maddie had found their way to each other and that they had forged such a strong relationship, especially after the way they found out about each other, filled Rayna with such joy.
Looking closer at the photos that Deacon had on the side board, her eyes hold fast to one in particular. It was the one that Maddie had given them both, when they had all sung 'A life that's good' at Luke's benefit. Picking it up and holding it in the light that was streaming in from the street, Rayna noticed for the first time the gaze that was lingering between her and Deacon. If she was honest with herself, no matter what was going on between her and Deacon over the years, they had never been very good at reining in their passion for each other, especially when they were on the stage together.
They were both good at using the excuse 'it was just a performance' but deep down they both knew they were playing with fire. That the flames of that particular fire would soon burst to the surface and engulf them. Usually it resulted in an all out screaming match at each other, but every now and then they would test that line in the sand they had drawn and would take the stage flirting up to knife edge of no return. It was a routine that was uniquely theirs, it was the only way they were able to remain in each others lives and still keep their love for each other under control given their respective situations.
Placing the photo alongside the others, Rayna wipes a single tear away. The last couple of months of reflection had made her realise that over the years she had put Deacon in a difficult situation. She kept telling him to move on but at the same time she refused to let him go. She had deep down always known that she was being unfair to him, but she just couldn't let him go. It was Luke that forced her to confront her behaviour about Deacon. He had called her out on it and to appease him she made the painful decision to cut Deacon out of her life. The resulting consequence was that she was set adrift as flotsam in the unrealistic life that Luke had built for himself. She had lost her anchor and she had lost who she was.
Since calling the wedding off she was making her way back to herself, but she needed her anchor back. Deacon was as much as part of her as her singing was. She realises now that she isn't complete without him in her life and pretending otherwise just results in her being a hollow shell going through the motions.
The silence of the house comforts her as much as the faint scent lingering that was uniquely Deacon; coffee and guitars. Leaning against the couch she struggles to pull off her boots resulting in her falling backwards. Snorting at her clumsiness Rayna frowns in confusion as she takes in the dirt covering her clothes. Finally realising where the dirt had come from, she struggles to make her way up from the couch and heads off towards Deacon's bedroom discarding pieces of clothing along the way.
Breathing in deeply as her senses are overwhelmed and engulfed by the essence of Deacon she slowly makes her way further into the room, stopping at the edge of the bed where she picks up a discarded t-shirt. Burying her face in it, she welcomes the sense of calm that washes over her. Deacon was always able to make her feel safe no matter what was going on in her life. Wanting to be wrapped in that safety Rayna slips the t-shirt over her head and crawls up the bed where she buries herself under the covers. Rubbing her face against the pillow she purrs in content. For the first time in a long time she was home. This thought follows her as she gradually falls asleep with a smile of contention on her face.
Pulling up out the front of his place Deacon scratches his signature stubble as he contemplates how exhausted he is. Outwardly he looks perfectly healthy but he is constantly surprised by how tired he is at the end of the day. Prior to his diagnosis he never felt this exhausted but it seems that ever since all he wants to do is sleep. Chuckling at his late night pondering he turns his thoughts back to the performance of the Triple X's. They were amazing, he had thought that ZAG were good but tonight's debut outing by Gunner, Avery and Scarlett made him realise just how talented all three of them were.
Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice anything unusual until he went to put his key into the lock. Noticing for the first time the keys dangling from the lock, a look of confusion crosses his face. "What the hell?" Turning the knob he tentatively makes his way into his house. Not hearing anything out of the ordinary he flicks on a nearby lamp. His eyes widen at the sight before him. Cowboy boots and socks scattered around the living room, turning towards his bedroom he takes in the assorted clothing littering the floor. Smiling he follows the clothing into his room.
Stopping at the door he takes in the sight before him. Seeing that tousled strawberry blonde hair resting peacefully on his pillow and Rayna wrapped up like a cocoon in his bed, Deacon allowed his feelings to bubble the surface. A look of pure love covered his face as he silently made his way over to Rayna's side. Crouching down he tucked a stray hair behind her ear, caressing her cheek as he whispered her name. "Ray?" A resulting mummer was the only response he got from her.
Trying again, only this time he leaned in so that his lips grazed her ear "Ray?" A shiver ran down her entire body and a seductive smile showed that Rayna had heard him. "Hmmm" her eyes fluttered open and locked with his. "Deacon?" Chuckling at her confusion, Deacon tapped her cheek to get her attention, "What are you doing here Ray?" Her eyes caressed his face as she reached out a hand, allowing her fingers to softly trace his lips "I miss you". At this her eyes roll back in her head and she falls back into unconsciousness. Deacon could barely contain the jolt of electricity that her touch had given him. Falling backwards he sat there staring at the love of his life fast asleep in his bed. Cursing her and her timing, he wiped a hand over his face hoping to clear his thoughts. Dragging himself reluctantly up and out of the room, he began to make the couch up for himself.
***** All rights to the songs mentioned belong to the talented songwriters and ABC.