Legolas climbed up the stairs to his parents' room. Four days had passed since Commander Aradan's injury. Though the Commander had to be in bed, he was recovering and the pain had decreased. Legolas wondered if it was a good time for him to see the Commander. He had yet to see his Ada or his Nana too.
Passing by his parents' chambers, he paused. He knew that his Nana had come looking for him several times. But he had felt so ashamed of himself yet he badly wanted to see her. Absently he entered the room, ignoring the guard who was looking unsure. It took Legolas a few minutes to realise what the matter was. He was used to entering his Ada's room without permission. In fact, if he came to use his Ada's library, he would often fall asleep on his Ada's bed, only to find his Ada sleeping on the couch the next morning.
Legolas sighed. His Ada had made much room for him in his life, hadn't he?
"Legolas, ionin, why are you standing at the door? Do come in." Legolas started on hearing his Nana's voice.
"Nana, I..." Legolas stopped, staring at his Nana. She was wearing a tunic, which meant that she could be riding out. As usual, all parts of her body were covered.
"Ionin, are you alright?" This time, his Nana's voice was gentler and Legolas looked up to see her standing in front of him. She moved as if to touch him and then held back her hands.
It pained Legolas to realise the reason behind her actions. Perhaps, her disappointment in him was a cause too but Legolas remembered the sight of her ungloved hand and looked up at her. His Nana was also afraid that he would be repulsed by the sight of her skin. "Do you know, Nana, that I have never thought that there was no one to love and care for me? I always had Elda, Healer Galaden, the other soldiers and Tauriel too. But more than all of them, I had Commander Aradan and…" Legolas' voice dropped to a whisper, "I had Ada."
As his Nana looked up at him, Legolas moved closer to her. "When I was young, they fussed over me. As I grew up, they respected me and honoured me as the Prince of Mirkwood. But I often avoided Ada and Commander Aradan. Whenever I did not have training or discussions. Both of them have never smiled or laughed, Nana."
Legolas felt the tears stinging his eyes but he knew that he had to tell this to someone and his Nana seemed to be the best person, not just because she was his Nana but all because she seemed to understand.
"Ada...All my life, I have known Ada. I have always taken him for granted. He was always just there for me…"
As Legolas' face crumpled into his Nana's hands, she finally reached for him. "I am so sorry, Nana. Please…."
Legolas stopped as he felt his mother's touch upon his cheeks. "Ionin, do not dwell in the past. Mistakes are made to make you stronger and wiser. I can never be disappointed with you. You are a skilled and courageous warrior. All will be well."
His mother's touch only made Legolas weep harder, the feeling of her gloved hands upon him so new and so accepting. "I have erred, Nana…I have been so irresponsible, so foolish. The babe, Nana. Would it not have been better had the babe lived and I had died instead?"
"Legolas!" his Nana looked struck but Legolas did not see it for he was weeping, his head hung in shame.
"Do not ever say that again, Legolas! It would hurt your Ada," his Nana's eyes filled with tears as she cupped his face, "and it hurts me too, Legolas. I love you, Legolas. All these years, I have wondered about you, whether you were well...I...Oh Legolas, do forgive me. Mayhap, I have failed you as a mother."
"Nay, Nana! Never say that. Were it not for you, I would be dead now, wouldn't I? I just want you, Nana. To know you. To know your love. To learn from you. To be guided by you."
"Oh, Legolas," his Nana whispered. "Forgive me, ionin. I thought so little of you." Legolas looked ashamed, "Nay, do not look away, Legolas. I am sorry, ionin. I should never have doubted your Ada's upbringing or your Commander's guidance."
She hesitated before continuing, "You truly think of me as your Nana, Legolas? I have come into your life so suddenly."
This time, Legolas looked up, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Of course. Why wouldn't I, Nana?"
"Legolas," his Nana looked down, "of course. I meant...you heard the Orc…"
Legolas looked at her, "I am a trained soldier, Nana. I know the horrors of war. Please, Nana, you are back. That is all that matters."
Seeing the uncertainty on his Nana's face, Legolas waited. "I might be so different from what you might have pictured me. Less kind, less intelligent...I don't know. We are mother and child, yet strangers."
It pained Legolas to see his Nana's lack of confidence and fear. She was so skilled and courageous yet in front of him, she felt so unworthy.
"Nana..." Legolas reached for her hands uncertainly. "I know everything, Nana. Everything. Please, Nana. Forgive me, Nana. I have erred."
Legolas looked at Erienne, his palms upon hers. "Nana…" Legolas could not stop the tears that spilled again as Erienne stroked his cheeks, "It does not feel as if I have never watched you grow, ionin. I was so afraid that you would not be comfortable with me."
Legolas furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "You are not a stranger to me, Nana. I grew up hearing stories of the Elven Queen, her beauty, her wisdom and her kindness from our elves. Elda often spoke to me about you when I went to eat."
His mother smiled as she listened to him, her eyes shining. Legolas went nearer to her and he saw that she did not hesitate, "Ada never spoke about you, Nana. But, he used to feed me when I was younger. He would read to me too. I slept here often as a wee elfling." Legolas turned to face his Nana. This time, she did not hesitate when he took her hands, "As I grew, he always checked with Elda that I had eaten. Commander Aradan saw to my training and learning. Both of them hardly smiled too and never laughed. Ada used to laugh with me sometimes when I was just a babe but it always ended in tears. He would hug me and cry." I would probably have gone mad if my mate was with babe and had been caught by Sauron. Legolas kept that thought to himself.
As mother and child came closer, Legolas dared to lay his head upon her lap. It felt comforting as if all his troubles had vanished. "I shamed them both, Nana. Ada and Commander Aradan. I...I am waiting for them, Nana. They are busy. I have to apologise to them."
Legolas did not see his Nana's fingers tremble as she placed her hands on his head hesitantly as she spoke, "Oh, ionin. They would not expect it. It would be okay to let it go."
"They would not expect it but they brought me up, taught me all. 'Tis my duty, Nana. "
Legolas did not look up but he could feel his mother's smile as she now stroked his hair.
"Nana, can I ask you something?" he whispered, looking up at her. As his Nana smiled expectantly at him, Legolas continued, "Nana...could you, would you remove your gloves to...to touch me?"
He could feel his Nana's tears on his cheeks as he finally felt her skin upon his. Clenching his mother's fingers, Legolas closed his eyes if for just a few minutes, and thus did not see his Ada's tears as the latter smiled at his Nana from the door.