Greek Gods Public School

by NotReallyTwinsAwesomeness

The Greek Gods were holding their meeting at the summer solstice when they were sucked up into a portal and found themselves in the mortal world as cutesy kindies. They must survive school and figure out a way to turn back before it is too late. Otherwise Percy and the others will be left stranded when they defeat the Titans, with none of the AWESOME gods to help out.

1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is set in the Percy Jackson series, in The Sea of Monsters. If you haven't read the full series, be ready for some spoilers!

Greek Gods

Public School

I

Athena

Athena was the goddess of wisdom. That automatically made her wise and smart, and her wisdom told her that it would be a normal, boring summer solstice.

She was half righ

Zeus was bickering with Poseidon about who Poseidon's wife Amphitrite really liked better, and Hera (who had heard them) was glaring ferociously at Zeus. Hermes was doing his own impersonation of a dodo as a dare from Ares, and Dionysus was telling Hephaestus that you couldn't have a disco without Slurpees. Apollo and Artemis were, as usual, bickering about something or other and Aphrodite was gossiping to Hestia and Demeter about make-up, ships and the newest Olympian God dating website.

"Okay, can we please get on to discussing the upcoming war with Kronos?" Athena asked loudly. No one heard her.

"I SAID, CAN WE PLEASE GET ON TO DISCUSSING THE UPCOMING WAR WITH KRONOS?" She repeated loudly. The council fell silent.

"Cussing," giggled Aphrodite. Athena glared.

"My daughter is correct." Zeus said, casting a glance at Poseidon that said, Bro, we ain't done arguing over the gal yet. "We should discuss our tactics."

"Luke has gathered an army of monsters and is sailing on a cruise ship called the Princess Andromeda. War will be upon us soon, say in three, four years." Hermes volunteered.

"Thanks, Mr Sunshine and Rainbows." Demeter muttered.

"Hey, I'm Sunshine and Iris is rainbows." Apollo protested.

Artemis rolled her eyes. "It's a figure of speech."

"Meh."

"Did you just 'meh' me?"

"Yeah."

"Just wait until I get my hands on my bow, you-"

"Anyway," Hermes interrupted, not wanting to hear all of Artemis' profanities, "What should we do about the boat?"

Poseidon raised his hand. "I can try to damage the boat with storms."

"That would be good." Hera nodded her head.

"But it won't be enough to stop war." Hephaestus said. "So do we fight or leave it to the demigods?"

"War," Ares yelled. "I vote war! War is good!"

"Great vocabulary."

"Be quiet Hermes."

"And the great prophecy," Athena said.

"A half-blood of the eldest gods

Shall reach sixteen against all odds

And see the world in endless sleep

A hero's soul, cursed blade shall reap.

A single choice shall end his days

Olympus to preserve or raze."

The gods were silent for a while, then Hera spoke up.

"So, the question remains," she said quietly, "Is the hero of the prophecy Thalia Grace or Percy Jackson? And also, will they choose to save Olympus, or destroy it?"

"It's neither of them." Apollo said.

Everyone stared.

"Hey, it's my Oracle," he said defensively. "I would know."

"Well then," Artemis implored, "Who is it?"

This was when it started getting a bit weird for Athena's liking.

"Luke Castellan."

The room was silent.

Suddenly, a giant portal opened up I the middle of the middle of the room sucking in the gods' stuff. Hermes' caduceus flew in first ("HOLY #$%*ING HADES!), closely followed by the master bolt, then the trident. Ares screamed as a fluffy pink teddy bear tore loose off of his favourite battle armour. Athena giggled, but stopped when her favourite 100 page maths grid book got eaten up.

Ares and Aphrodite were cuddling, screaming like little girls. Demeter cried outas an apple ripped loose from her throne and smacked her square in the face, so she was only holding ono a branch. But that was torn off as well, and screaming, Demeter was sucked in.

Athena screamed as well, watching as Ares and Aphrodite, still hugging, were sucked in as well, then Dionysus, clutching a bottle of wine, looking like he was thinking, I hate my life. Hermes joined them in the swirling void.

Hephaestus held onto his throne for a while, flapping like a flag, but then Hera smacked into him, and they both careened into the portal. Zeus, thumb wrestling with Poseidon (for the heart of Amphitrite) were drawn in as well. Hestia looked confused, but then she shrugged and cannonballed in.

Next to her, Athena heard Artemis saying, "I dare you to backflip in," then the twin archers, at the same time, yelled "GERONIMO!" and dived in.

Athena was the only god left in the room. She shrugged and pulled out her IPhone, took a selfie, then she was sucked in by the swirling blackness.

Her last thought before she blacked out was: Gods, this place smells like Ares.