Scene two: Over the Chasm

[Scene fade in from the last crossover. The Klub are walking somewhere in the woods—it appears as though they are lost. They are all carrying some kind of luggage.]

GRELL: [carrying a red "hobo pack"] Sebastian, where the heck are we going?

SEBASTIAN: TMON, The Middle Of Nowhere, I told you.

GRELL: How do you know where TMON is though? Is there like…a sign?

SEBASTIAN: Oh silly, silly naïve little Grell. When someone says TMON, they mean TMON, Germany. If they say The Middle Of Freaking Nowhere, TMOFN, they mean somewhere deep in Michigan. If it's The Middle Of Freakin' Nowhere, TMOF'N, they mean somewhere deep in the jungles of Rio de Janerio.

GRELL: [skeptically]And how do you know all of this?

SEBASTIAN: [goes rigid] Confidential source.

CIEL: [walks up carrying a bookbag] Wikipedia?

SEBASTIAN: Yes.

[They all go quiet again. CIEL finally looks back over at SEBASTIAN.]

CIEL: So how do you plan on getting into Germany? If you haven't noticed, we're in England. Germany is waaaay too far to walk to.

SEBASTIAN: I just need a little help from an old friend. But first we need to cross; [dark music plays] THE CHASM OF DOOM.

[They have stopped in front of a huge gap in the earth. CLAUDE lets out a squeal and faints. ALOIS attempts to revive him.]

CIEL: Um…Sebastian…what is this?

SEBASTIAN: I told you, it's the freakin' chasm of doom.

WILL: [he kicks a rock over the edge and leans over. After about thirty seconds, he steps back, eyes wide.] I didn't even hear it hit the ground.

SEBASTIAN: Don't worry, we can cross using this! [he points at a rickety old rope and wood bridge covered in cobwebs and dirt. WILL backs up, shaking his head.]

WILL: No way. There are a few things I won't do, and one of them is crossing old rickety bridges.

SEBASTIAN: [in a baby voice] Aww, is wittle baby Will afraid of heights?

WILL: [frowns] No, I just have a problem with crossing a rickety old bridge over a NEVER ENDING CHASM!

SEBASTIAN: [sighs] Fine, you can go last silly. But watch, I assure you, it's perfectly safe!

[The rest of the Klub members start to cross over to the other side. WILL watches with growing distrust. Finally, SEBASTIAN comes back over to WILL.]

SEBASTIAN: [cheerfully]Your turn, Will!

WILL: [shakes his head] N-no! [he squeaks as SEBASTIAN picks him up and drops him on the bridge.] Don't touch me! [he notices he's on the bridge and screams.]

SEBASTIAN: [motioning with his hands] Will, Will, calm down, please, you haven't even looked down! [WILL starts to look down and SEBASTIAN frowns.] Don't even think about it.

WILL: [pleading] Please, Sebastian just let me go back the other way! Isn't there another way to cross?

SEBASTIAN: [thinks and leans against the side of the bridge, shaking it a little.] Nope.

WILL: [screams] Don't do that!

SEBASTIAN: Do what?

WILL: T-that! Rocking the bridge!

SEBASTIAN: [grins, getting an evil idea] Oh, you mean this? [he shakes the bridge again and WILL screams.]

WILL: No stop it! I'm gonna die! [he starts backing up as SEBASTIAN continues to shake the bridge.] This is the end, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, my life is over, I'm gonna die…[he is covering his eyes and he backs up onto solid earth and into GRELL, who smiles down at him.] …I'm okay?

GRELL: You're fine. [he takes WILL's hand and starts to walk off.] C'mon now, we've got a friend to go visit.

[Scene fades as GRELL drags WILL after the others and SEBASTIAN follows, giggling.]