Author's note: Don't worry, we haven't forgotten about the other gods! Hermes will be taking over for a chapter soon, and then we've scheduled Apollo to have a talk. We might be able to fit Artemis in after that, but... we've got big things planned for this fanfiction. Big things...

And can you guys review? We put this on early because we saw the huge traffic stats. But where are the reviews people?

IV

Poseidon

Poseidon sat down on the floor between Hephaestus and Aphrodite. He knew about their feelings toward each other, and so had decided to take a precaution against a looming catfight- or something worse. You never knew what Aphrodite would do. She might spread a rumour about your liking someone (which wouldn't be true), and you would be the laughing stock of the class. But she was nothing compared to Hephaestus, who had mastered the three deadly arts of his trade- workmanship, bartering and having an ugly face. He would probably trap Ares and Aphrodite as they ate lunch together. Poseidon shuddered.

Mrs Dogson then announced that they would have to sit in a circle. Poseidon groaned, and muttered something that truly wasn't very nice. As he was the last one to find a spot, he was forced to sit next to Athena, whom he detested, and Apollo, whom he didn't mind (although Apollo really had something coming for him. Everyone knew Poseidon was the most awesome god).

"Who would like to start first?" Mrs Dogson asked. Athena's hand shot up, as Poseidon had predicted it would.

"What exactly are we doing?" She asked. Poseidon smiled. The way she was going, she was probably going to be the annoying girl who always corrected the teacher. He hated those kinds of people.

"Oh," Mrs Dogson looked flustered. "You must introduce yourself. Say your name, then state something you like, such as ice cream."

Athena sat up straight and cleared her voice. "Alright! I'm Athena and I like- no, I think a much better word to describe this would be aspire- to have more wisdom. But I couldn't really get wiser, I already know everything."

Mrs Dogson groaned. "Darling, nobody knows everything. Only Athena knows everything. She's the wisdom goddess. Just because you're named after her doesn't mean that you are exactly like her."

Poseidon could see Athena struggling to control herself. "But I am Athena, you-"She stopped herself before she could say any more.

Yep, Poseidon thought, she's definitely not going to be the teacher's pet anytime soon!

"Next!" Mrs Dogson was greeted by silence." That means you, dear!" She said, pointing to Poseidon.

"Well, I'm Poseidon and I like water. But I hate her," he said, pointing to Athena, who proceeded to stick her tongue out at him.

"POSEIDON! How dare you! Compose yourself!" Mrs Dogson yelled, her piercing blue eyes looking straight at Poseidon. Poseidon realised how calming they were. He would definitely have to find her again when he went back to being a god. Mrs Dogson coughed, indicating that Apollo was meant to start.

"Yo! I'm Apollo and I'm awesome! I like people who don't steal my sacred golden cow stickers!" Apollo said, glaring at Hermes, who was most likely to steal them. But Poseidon, who was looking at Artemis (the next in line) thought he saw something sacred and golden jutting out of her jacket pocket. Artemis caught his eyes, and winked. Poseidon winked back, and Artemis looked away, as if nothing had happened.

"Silence!" Mrs Dogson managed to quiet the gods and goddesses, who were laughing their heads off due to this strange performance. "Next, please?"

Artemis nodded and duly began to speak. "I'm Artemis, named after the regal goddess Artemis, who was the goddess of hunting. I hate all boys, like Artemis, but I despise my brother the most." She languidly shoved Apollo.

Immediately after Artemis finished her sentence, Ares began to speak, giving Mrs Dogson absolutely no chance to comment.

"I'm Ares and I like war and carnage." He stated. The words hung in the air, waiting to be followed by some snappy comment by Mrs Dogson.

"Um… Ares, was it? I like war as much as the next person, but please don't fight in the playground." she feigned politeness, but her mask was thinning. Soon she would show her true colours…

"Okay, so we're continuing with the introductions… Um, who was next?"

Aphrodite stood up and smiled gracefully. "I was, miss." She said, earning a glare from Athena, who must have thought that Aphrodite might have the potential to be teacher's pet. She was right.

"Go on, darling!" Mrs Dogson said, unaware of Athena, who was glowering at Aphrodite.

"Well, I'm Aphrodite and I just LOVE beauty. But it is the inside that counts, isn't it?" She said, working the cutesy charm for all it was worth. Athena curled her hands into fists and made a nervous laugh.

"Hehehehe. I'd love to see you try!" She answered the question that Aphrodite had thought, but never said.

"Excuse me, Miss Athena, but we are trying to finish a class activity before recess! One more peep out of you and you will be sent to the naughty corner!" Fortunately, the class quietened before Mrs Dogson yelled again.

When nobody talked, Mrs Dogson yelled "NEXT!" Unfortunately, Hephaestus was tinkering with a sharpener he had dismantled, and took no notice of her.

Taking a deep breath, Mrs Dogson yelled, "ENOUGH!". Due to her constant shouting, Poseidon decided against finding her when he returned to his true godly form. She was way too nasty- like Hera, but three thousand times worse.

The class having quietened down, Hephaestus began to speak.

"Well, uh… my name's Hephaestus and I really really like machines… I don't really get along with humans that well… or anyone…" His awkward comment caused a shroud of silence to descend upon the room. It was a very unnatural kind of silence. Out of the corner of his eye, Poseidon saw Mrs Dogson trying to speak, and knew instantly what had happened.

Damn you, Harpocrates! Poseidon thought, knowing that the god of silence was responsible for this. He hated the twelve gods of Olympus because they were normal Greek gods, purebreds, whereas he was a lowly mutt.

"Okay… Who is next?" Mrs Dogson asked the class, "and please do hurry up, it's almost recess." Zeus winked and straightened his jacket.

'I'm Zeus and there are two things I love in this world- thunderstorms and the ladies- uh, I mean, Hera!" Zeus said hastily as Hera's eyes turned icy cold.

"And I'm Hera and I just love marriage and leaving little… presents for people." Hera shot a glance at Zeus, who whimpered. Poseidon remembered Annabeth Chase, a mortal girl on whom Hera had inflicted a horrible curse- the girl had seen cows everywhere, and had stepped in many little presents.

"Come on, hurry, next person!" Mrs Dogson tapped Demeter's shoulder.

"Well, I am Demeter and I just love gardening, harvesting and cereal, but especially gardening! In fact, one of my children's last name was Gardener!" Upon realising where she was, Demeter hastily added, "Yes, my dear dolly, Katie Gardener!" Mrs Dogson gave her a strange look and then moved on to Dionysus.

Now this will be good Poseidon thought, knowing that Dionysus would either mention wine or partying.

"So… name's Dionysus and I like wine. There. Kill me now." Dionysus said in monotone, before falling to the floor as if dead. Rather than check if he was okay, Mrs. Dogson decided to question his antics.

"Did you say wine? YOU DRINK WINE? Do your parents approve of this?"

Poseidon rushed to save him. "Hahahaha! You're funny Mrs Dogson!" he winked at Athena, who joined in.

"Hilarious!"

Gradually, the others joined in.

"So silly!"

"Pretty funny!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Hahaha-lol"

Soon, everyone was pretending to giggle. Mrs Dogson quickly forgot about Dionysus in lieu of calming them down.

"Enough, children!" she exclaimed, before pointing to Hestia. "Start."

Hestia gave her a naïve grin. "Well, I'm Hestia and I love home." At this, everyone smiled.

"That's an amazing answer!" Mrs Dogson beamed.

She's certainly giving Aphrodite and Athena a run for their money. Poseidon thought.

"Aha! The final child!" Mrs Dogson let out a sigh of relief.

"Hermes is my name, stealing's my game." Hermes said quickly. Before Mrs Dogson could comment, the bell rang.

Yeah, good job bell! Poseidon cheered before walking outside.