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VI

Apollo

It was the second week of school. Everyone had settled in nicely, and the teacher's pet scenario was all sorted out. It was Hestia. Apollo had also managed to create a new instrument- the food guitar, complete with cheesy strings and apples. He was very pleased with himself.

After he had created the first food guitar, Apollo wandered around the school. He spotted a dude wearing a hot hat (hot is the new cool). It said 'Hot' on it, so Apollo knew he was destined to have it. Nonchalantly, he walked up to the kid.

"Um, hi…" he said, staring at the hat.

"Fifteen bucks, kid." The dude said.

"Ha! Do you want some sacred cow stickers? Three of them can cost as much as three bucks!" He said, staring longingly at the hat.

"You're gonna have to give me fifteen of those stickers, kiddo. And one for tax." The kid said, putting out his hand. "Pay up."

Reluctantly, Apollo reached into his pocket. Then he panicked. Where were his stickers? Apollo needed to find a place to think, but he also needed the hat. So he found his half eaten food guitar and showed the guy.

"How about this half-eaten food guitar?" Apollo asked hopefully.

"No deal." Said the boy, walking off. Apollo then decided to grab the hat and run. So he did. Unfortunately, he had never been in the best of shapes and the hat was snatched from him instantly. Grumbling, Apollo stalked off, deciding that he would take revenge on the hot guy. But first, he had to find his cow stickers- and he knew exactly who would have them.

"Hey, Hermes!" Apollo said to Hermes, who was chatting up a teacher.

"Hey, bro!" Hermes said, motioning for him to go.

"Come with me." Apollo said darkly, which wasn't usually his style. He normally went with sunshinily, but not today.

Apollo led Hermes to the storage room near block A, where he forced him to sit on a chair. Then Apollo dimmed the lights and put on a trench coat with a nametag saying 'Detective Apollo'. Finally, he pulled on a pair of shades.

"Hermes," he said casually, hands on Hermes' shoulders, "WHERE ARE MY SACRED GOLDEN COW STICKERS?"

Hermes shrugged." Am I meant to know this stuff? I didn't steal Athena's notes for the pop quiz yet…"

Apollo looked at him quizzically. "You didn't steal them?" he asked.

"Nah, but I wish I had. Musta been a right laugh when you figured out!" Hermes said, doubling over as he laughed.

"HAHAHAHA! Yeah, right!" Apollo said, getting back to business. "I know you took them."

Hermes stopped laughing and looked at Apollo, who, he now realised, was dead serious. Since he had not taken the shiny stickers, and Apollo would never believe him if he said so, he decided to tell him a little lie. After all, Hermes needed to steal Athena's notes and he did not want her to find out from Apollo (that he was stealing her notes).

"I did see Dionysus with some gold stuff…" Hermes said thoughtfully.

"If you didn't do it, get out!" Apollo yelled, holding the door open. "Oh, and ask Dionysus to get here, will you? Say I'll be here at…" Apollo glanced at his wrist, "10:30."

Now it was Hermes' turn to look at Apollo quizzically. "You don't have a watch, Apollo…"

Apollo grinned. "I'm the sun god, Hermes! I can see what time it is cos' of the sun! Do you take me for a fool?!"

After Hermes left, Apollo searched for a container- preferably made of see-through plastic. After a while, he found one, and set off to find some more equipment.

Dionysus knocked on the door as soon as Apollo finished setting up the container. He placed the container, which was now filled with dark red liquid, to a side and opened the door. Dionysus walked in drunkenly, which was unusual since he had finished his bottle of Chardonnay from the other day, as well as the three bottles of Shiraz he had asked for. And he had finished them two days ago…

Apollo grabbed Dionysus's shoulders and wheeled him around (he was about to bash into the wall. He was sure the wall didn't want puny gods running into it). Dionysus puked on his new sneakers (which may or may not be stolen property from the house next to the school).

Gagging from the smell, Apollo sat Dionysus down on the chair and hurried off to wash all the puke away and discard whoever's sneakers he was wearing, although he did give them a good wash. He did it so well that a name- Lucas Castellan, whoever that was- got rubbed off. He also discarded his clothes and borrowed Mrs Dogson's fur coat, as well as a pair of high heels he found.

My legs look hot in these! He thought, posing in front of the mirrors in the boys toilets. Then he hurried back to the storage closet, where it appeared Dionysus had puked his way into a bucket of paint.

Pushing the putrid paint aside, Apollo got down to business once again.

"Where did you put the golden cow stickers?" He asked Dionysus, staring intently at his face- but only because the rest of him was covered in chunks of- well, you get the idea. Dionysus responded quickly, surprisingly alert for a drunken kindy.

"What golden cow stickers?" He asked, leaning back. "I don't even know what those are!"

Apollo facepalmed. "They're cow stickers that are golden, you idiot!" He said.

"You're calling me the idiot?" Dionysus muttered inaudibly. Meanwhile, Apollo was searching for the container. He found it after ten seconds.

"Well, if you're not gonna talk…" Apollo said evilly," maybe this will change your mind!" He placed a bottle of water and the wine container on the table. Dionysus chuckled.

"What's that meant to be?" he asked, with no idea of what was to come.

"Well, you see, dear brother…"

"I'm not your brother…"

Apollo amended his statement. "Well, you see… This is a bottle of water. And this is wine. Now, what happens if we mix wine and water? Well, distilled wine happens. And if you don't answer me honestly, I will distil this wine!"

"NOOO! NOT DISTILLED WINE!" Dionysus screamed, ready to do anything to stop Apollo. He decided to place the blame on someone else.

"Artemis did it!" He yelled frantically. Apollo laughed.

"She'd never do that! You're lying!" His hand was now poised over the wine.

"Okay, okay! It was Poseidon!" Dionysus said, sure that that would stop him. And it did.

"That guy… He was always jealous of me, because I'm awesome! But I never thought he would stoop so low…" Apollo muttered to himself.

"Well, I'll just see myself out… And I'll grab Poseidon yes?"

"Yes." Apollo said. He was out the door before Dionysus. He needed to find some ingredients for a recipe.

"Come in." Apollo said after Poseidon knocked.

"What do you want? Make it quick, I've got a detention to go to at second half." Poseidon said, plopping down in his seat.

"What for?" Apollo asked, curious.

"Apparently you shouldn't go swim in the deep end of the ocean. There could be dangerous sharks there. Pffffft! I don't give a fish about sharks! They're actually quite shy." Poseidon said, as he replayed the events in his head.

Apollo grabbed the putrid paint from earlier. He had learned that people never told the truth unless you threatened them.

"What's that smell?" Poseidon pinched his nose.

"Puke paint. Which is about to become Puke paint with seaweed and fish. Which is about to become your lunch!" Apollo said.

"Eeeeeeew! What do you want from me?!" Poseidon asked, seemingly innocent.

"Where. Are. My. Golden. Cow. Stickers."

With Artemis!" Poseidon replied. Then he rushed out of the room. "Bye!"

Interesting… Apollo thought. Maybe I will have to check Artemis out. The bell rang.

But I'll do it tomorrow, I've got detention too.

After school, Apollo walked side by side with Artemis.

"What?" she asked. "It's bad enough we actually look like twins. We don't need to become Siamese!"

Apollo grinned and said, "Sorry! Could I carry your backpack? Oh, and I'll do your washing for you, dear sis."

Artemis happily agreed. Apollo was too dumb to try anything fishy. Or so she thought.

After getting her backpack, Apollo searched in the pockets for anything suspicious. He was unable to find anything, so he dropped the bag on the floor and kicked it thrice. Fifty golden cow stickers fell out of Artemis' bag.

Artemis turned back and saw the mess. She started giggling.

Aphrodite joined in.

Then Ares (he always did what his girlfriend did).

Soon enough, all the kindergarteners were laughing, Apollo included. He walked towards Artemis as the cacophony of laughs died down.

"Now, you have to pay me back." He pointed to the hot guy wearing the awesome hat. "You see that hot guy over there?"

Artemis giggled again. "The one you appear to have a crush on?"

"Hot is the new cool!" Apollo explained. "Anyway, could you buy that hat for me? Costs fifteen bucks."

Artemis yelped. "That much?" Then she considered it. "Fine, but only because you promised to buy me something expensive for my birthday."

"I did?" Apollo asked.

"Well, you have now!" Artemis said as she skipped towards the guy. She quickly paid for the hat and ran towards Apollo with it. Then, with a (seemingly accidental) flick of the wrist, the hat landed in the murky water of the sea. "Oh, well!" she said, as she walked towards their house. "And you're still getting me that expensive present!" she called back, smiling.