A/N: That was a bit longer than a week. Sorry folks! Here you are!

Kate looked at the screen, pouting as she stared at the empty flat. Honestly, she wished Irene could engineer some way to keep the boys home for longer intervals. It was no fun with them always dashing off to new cases.

"What now?" she said with a sigh.

"Now, we put our next move to work," Irene said over her shoulder, busy at her vanity putting on a fresh bit of makeup. Kate watched as she expertly added a perfect line around the rim of her eyes. Sometimes it felt like there was nothing Irene wasn't good at. Now if only she could speed up the little game they were playing on Holmes and Watson.

"So, what's the next move?" Kate asked, getting up and walking over to place a hand on Irene's shoulder. Irene's gaze fixed on hers through the mirror, blue eyes gazing intently up at her companion.

"Well, do you remember that lovely secretary we three-wayed with last March?"

"Mmm…oh the one with those delicious looking fishnets?" Kate asked.

"Oh yes," Irene said rouged lips curving into a bright smile.

She rose and walked over to the computer, fiddling with it until a new image popped up. Kate gazed at a room where the secretary was standing talking to several people. Kate recognized one of them as some inspector Sherlock was associated with.

"I'm afraid the poor dear had her house broken into yesterday evening," Irene said with a smirk.

"Oh you set up a crime scene for him, how sweet!" Kate said.

"Very sweet," Irene said with a chuckle. "Just a little idea I had that I presented to Shannon. It looks like it worked. I'm guessing Mr. Holmes won't have too much trouble figuring it out. But I have a bit of an alternative motive for sending him there."

Kate knew there would be no point in asking, so she went and sat on the bed to watch instead.

John tried his best to not make things any more awkward than they needed to be, but the cab ride to the crime scene was rough. Sitting next to Sherlock, remembering what they'd done only shortly before. He'd try to subtly eye the detective, and thankfully Sherlock seemed to be off in his own little world, not paying a speck of attention to what John chose to do.

John's mind had wandered back to earlier, thinking on how it had felt, Sherlock sucking at his neck. It had made him wonder what Sherlock's mouth might feel in other places. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to steady himself.

"Are you quite alright, John?" Sherlock asked.

John jumped and looked back at his friend. Sherlock's blue eyes were examining him quizzically.

"Yeah," John said, clearing his throat. "Yeah, I'm fine. Er…you?'

"Hmm." Sherlock said, not answering. By the way his eyes had focused back on the window, John suspected he'd gone back into his mind palace.

Trust Irene Adler to make things completely awkward between them. If only Sherlock wasn't asexual, everything might work right. He could just explain how he was feeling and maybe they could—it was absurd, but still John's mind lingered on the possibility. Sherlock was probably one of his best friends. He was amusing and brave, intelligent, creative, a bit of an arse but otherwise and impressive man. John couldn't deny there was something undeniably attractive about Sherlock, beyond just physical characteristics that he'd recently begun to admire.

The cab pulled up to a curb beside several police cars. John sighed, trying to clear his head as he stepped from the vehicle, grabbing for his wallet to pay the cabbie even as Sherlock immediately stalked off towards the crime scene.

See, reasons to not like him, always assuming John would pay for their cabs. The doctor grumbled to himself as they reached Donovan who was waiting for them in the doorway.

"Up the stairs, third floor," she instructed. "I'm heading off to answer another call. But Greg should be there."

Sherlock ignored her and passed through. John thanked her before following up after, reaching up to straighten his collar. Hopefully it wouldn't slide or anything. Couldn't have people like Donovan knowing what he and Sherlock had been up to earlier.

Lestrade was waiting for them with two other detectives in the living room of a nicely furnished flat. He sent the two others off when he saw Sherlock and John, saying they had it handled. As the two detectives left, Sherlock and John began examining the crime scene. Sherlock's eyes were already roving over the place, but John was riveted by the sight of the woman with the detectives.

She had long dark hair, an attractive face in spite of the fact she didn't have any makeup on. She was wearing a silky red dressing gown that nicely complimented her pale skin. She was tall and thing, and he had to admit he was immediately attracted.

"Oh Sherlock Holmes, thank heavens," she said when she saw them. "I couldn't believe it when the police said they were going to call you. My lucky day getting to have a famous detective work for me."

She strolled over to them, shaking Sherlock's hand first, then John's. Her deep brown eyes fixed on his.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Watson," she said, smiling. "I'm a huge fan of your blog."

"Oh really," John said. "Pleasure's all mine Ms…"

"Leach, Shannon Leach," she said.

"Indeed you are," Sherlock muttered.

John elbowed him before giving her his full attention.

"Right, Ms. Leach…So, what can we help you with?" he asked with a smile.

"Shannon please, I insist," she purred.

"Right, what's the problem?" John asked.

He glanced around the flat. There was no sign of a dead body.

"Burglary," Sherlock said with a sigh. "Really Lestrade, do you have to be dreadfully boring? What was stolen? Or would you like me to guess that too?"

"My boss loaned me a diamond necklace for a gala last night." Shannon sighed and went over to sit on the sofa beside a large golden retriever. She petted him and sunk back into the cushions. "I set it on my table last evening along with some cash. I'm afraid I arrived home late, so I didn't have any chance to put it away properly. When I got up this morning, both the necklace and the cash were gone."

"And she told us she locked the door first thing when she got home," Lestrade interrupted. "There's no sign anyone picked the lock or anything. Dead bolt was still on when she woke up. The windows in the place only open a couple of inches."

"So someone took the necklace and the money, but there's no signs of burglary," Sherlock muttered. "Well, let me have a look then since you're proving yourself so utterly incompetent."

The detective headed off towards the other side of the room, back to the door to examine it for clues. John was getting a sense that Sherlock might prefer some alone time. Lestrade was already following him over. So he decided to stick with Shannon.

"Are you sure you took it off here?" he asked. "I mean, you said you were tired, any chance you forgot anything?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure what I could have missed. I know it was on my neck when I arrived home. And the money was there too up until I went to bed." She paused and gave him a warm smile. "Why don't you come sit next to me and Sissy, Dr. Watson? I promise she doesn't bite…though I can't make quite the same promise for me." She gave a wink.

John chuckled but did take her offer and came to sit on the magnificently soft sofa beside their client. Shannon moved in a bit closer to him even as she continued to pet her dog.

"So, tell me a little more about your evening. What gala did you attend?"

"An animal rights gala, wasn't it?" Sherlock called from the door. "Only one going on last night in the city. Or at least only significant enough one to have you want to have nice jewelry for the event. Funny considering when you came home you made yourself a snack of meat…"

She had the decency to blush. "I will admit animal rights are not my highest priority, but my boss needed me there. So yes, when I came home I was hungry and cooked up some bacon and eggs. Honestly, having all those vegan foods…I needed something a bit more substantial."

"Of course," John said, trying his best to be understanding since Sherlock had been so rude. "So, you got home. Locked the door. First thing you did?"

"Well, I did see to Sissy first. Took her out. Gave her a quick little walk, all that. But when I came back I did the locks, I went and took off my dress, but I left the necklace on. Cooked some food and had that. After I was done I took the necklace off, left the dishes in the sink, and went to bed."

"Obvious," Lestrade said. "Guy got in when she was out walking the dog. Hid, then stole the jewels and money when she took them off and went to bed. Left through the front door."

"And somehow managed to do the deadbolt behind him?" Sherlock said drily. "Use your brain Lestrade."

The other detective folded his arms and sighed. Sherlock in the meantime was now looking through the rest of the place. Carefully examining the table where the jewel had been left, wandering back to the kitchen to look things over.

John settled back on the sofa and asked Shannon a few more questions. Mostly he just admired the way the dressing robe emphasized her lovely curves. She was very pretty. And from the way she kept smiling at him, he was getting the idea she was keen too.

"You must keep pretty busy as a secretary," he remarked.

Shannon smiled. "Oh yes. A bit. But I like finding time to go out too. Spend some time clubbing or doing things with friends. I just need to pick up another boyfriend."

"Oh yeah?" John said. "Me too. Er…I mean I'm looking for another girlfriend. One can only spend so much time cooped up with Sherlock Holmes before you crack."

She laughed at that, though out of the corner of his eye, John thought he saw Sherlock making a face.

Well, no need to think about that. Sherlock didn't want him. He never would. Why not try to forget with another attractive girlfriend? Really that sounded like a brilliant strategy to him. She continued to smile at him, asking him more personal questions now.

"Would you two like some coffee?" she asked.

"Yeah, that'd be great," John said with a smile. "Just black for me. Sherlock you want any?"

The detective looked at him for a moment from where he was examining the windows. "Black, two sugars please."

"Alright, coming right up. Detective inspector Lestrade, any more for you or anyone else?"

"No thanks, I'm fine," Lestrade said. "So, any leads, Sherlock?"

The detective ignored him and continued inspecting the windows. Lestrade just sighed and checked his phone instead.

Shannon came back a few minutes later with two cups of coffee in her hands. She smiled at John and started walking towards the sofa. At the exact same instant, Sherlock spun around, likely to go check on something else, and he collided into her head on. Shannon gave a startled cry, especially as most of the coffee managed to splash across her dressing gown, though some hit Sherlock in the chest too.

"Oh, my apologies," Sherlock said. "So sorry. Why don't you go change, I'll clean this mess up and continue investigating."

Sherlock apologizing? John's eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated on his friend, trying to determine exactly what Sherlock was up to.

"Thank you," Shannon said, though her glare his way indicated most of her annoyance. "I'll just go put something clean on. Be right back."

Sherlock muttered to himself as the door to her bedroom cleaned.

"Er…compromising the integrity of the crime scene, are we?" John asked from the sofa.

"Hmm…oh just an accident. I wasn't paying much attention to her. Too many more interesting clues."

Sherlock had found a towel and mopped up most of the mess. After that was done he reached up and undid his scarf, pulling the wet material away from himself and setting it on the chair. Next came the coat. Which was when John remembered why it was imperative Sherlock keep them on.

"Sherlock er…you might…"

He broke off. It was too late. Lestrade had looked up from his phone, and he'd apparently caught sight of it. In the light of the windows it was easy to see the dark bruise on Sherlock's very pale skin. The otherwise unblemished column of neck marked with one solitary and obvious blemish.

"Hold up, where'd you get that?" Lestrade asked, pointing at Sherlock's neck.

The detective froze for a moment. "Hmm? Oh, this thing. It's nothing."

Lestrade's jaw had dropped. "Hang on, is that…no…couldn't be…Sherlock is that a… who're you seeing?"

"No one," Sherlock snapped.

"You're holding out on me," Lestrade said. "That's a love bite. Seriously, you're seeing someone?"

John groaned and sank further back into the sofa. The golden retriever moved a bit closer, sniffing at him curiously. He patted its head to distract himself a bit, hoping it didn't come down to Sherlock just blatantly telling the truth. The man sometimes didn't think about those types of things.

"It was an experiment of sorts," Sherlock said.

"I'll say. What's her name? Do I know her? Seriously, you're telling me right now. I've never seen you date anyone, I've got to know."

"I wanted to examine bruises more thoroughly. As I didn't have a live human test subject (John was out…probably getting milk or something), I decided to use myself."

"Still, you couldn't have given yourself that mark. Where'd it come from? Who gave it to you?"

John sighed. Lestrade wasn't going to leave off with the interrogation. It was quite obvious to him now that eventually the truth would have to come out. Perhaps Sherlock would merely lie and say someone else's name. But would Lestrade believe it? Then again, would he even believe the truth? It was hard to say. Still, the anticipation of seeing if Sherlock would hide the truth or not was killing him.

"I borrowed Mrs. Hudson's Hoover."

Lestrade just stared at him for a moment and then shook his head.

"Yeah sure, whatever you say."

"Now, if you're done bothering me with meaningless triviliaties, perhaps you'd like me to solve this case."

"Yeah, alright," Lestrade agreed.

He left Sherlock be and came over to where John was sitting with the dog.

"You know who gave him that mark? I don't believe the Hoover story."

"Beats me, sorry," John muttered, watching Sherlock go back to work.

Lestrade sighed and shrugged. Thankfully, some of the tension was diverted when Shannon appeared dressed in a black skirt and button up top.

"Much better," she said with a smile. "I'd offer more coffee…"

"No worries," John said. "We'll pick some up later."

She came to sit down again, though this time she laid her hand on John's thigh. He couldn't say he minded.

However, just then Sherlock's head shot up from where he'd been examining the table again.

"I've got it. Obvious really."

"Oh come on, don't do that. Just tell us," Lestrade said with a sigh.

"Tell you? You're too blind to read the signs. The burglar is in the room with us at this very moment."

John glanced around. He couldn't mean Shannon could he? Pretending to have her jewels stolen seemed a bit odd.

"Wait, you mean he's still hiding in the place?" Lestrade asked. "Guess that would work too, huh?"

"Shut up, Lestrade. No. I'm surrounded by idiots."

He strode briskly over to stand in front of Shannon. Her hand left John's thigh rather quickly.

"Last night you made a dinner of bacon and eggs," Sherlock stated.

"Yes."

"And you sat at the table and ate them. And you took the necklace off before taking your plate to the kitchen sink. That means you didn't wash your hands in between the two acts, yes?"

"Yes," she agreed. "But what does that have to do with—"

"The necklace, and probably the money too, would have both had grease stains from the bacon then. There's a few other greasy fingerprints on the table area. Although a few of them are quite smudged nearer to the edge. Also, may I point out if this really was a true burglary, the criminal likely would have taken the fine silverware in your kitchen, or even your television set. No far too much left here."

"So?"

"So, no one could have come in or out. We've already determined after the deadbolt was set there was no way a criminal could have broken in without leaving signs either through windows or the door. As Lestrade has suggested, a man could have waited inside, but that's highly unlikely. You know, it's funny because most people are well aware that robbing a house with a dog is a big risk. Yours in fact sleeps on the sofa based on the amount of fur accumulated there. Right in front of the door. No one would have been able to get in and out easily."

"Get to the point, Sherlock," John said with a sigh.

"Obvious. You aren't the only one who likes a bit of meat. Your dog was out here while you were asleep in your bedroom. You left bacon grease on the table and likely on the necklace and bills since you didn't wash your hands. The smudges appear to be saliva. I don't see you being willing to lick your own table, so it's likely the dog smelled the grease and licked it up…"

"And ate the bloody necklace," John finished with a groan. "And the bills too."

"Oh my god," Shannon gasped, turning to stare at Sissy who was wagging her tail.

"There, mystery solved. My only suggestion to you is taking rubber gloves with you on future gloves. You'll get your necklace back, eventually. And in the future I would leave your valuables in a more safe location. Good day."

He went back over to the chair, picked up his coat and scarf and strode towards the door. John sighed and got up as well.

"Thanks for your hospitality. Glad we could help, er…sort of."

"Thank you," she said. "Also, would you like my number? Wouldn't mind seeing you again, Dr. Watson. I'm sure we could find lots of other mysteries for you to solve," she said with a small wink.

"Yeah," John agreed with a grin. "Yeah sure."

She asked for his phone and he handed it over, letting her type in her contact information.

"I'll see you again sometime then," she said with a smile.

"Yeah, definitely. Well, I'd best be off. You have a good rest of your day. Best of luck with your dog."

"Thank you," she said, before walking him to the door.

Sherlock was scowling at the pavement by the time he got downstairs. The detective didn't even bother looking at him. Merely set about hailing a cab.

"Well, that was interesting," John said.

"Utterly boring. I don't know why Lestrade wastes my time on rubbish," Sherlock muttered.

John just shrugged and went back to silently waiting for the cab. He wondered when, if ever, things would feel normal between the two of them again.

Shannon had turned to give the camera a little wink. Irene smiled and closed the computer. That had gone even better than expected. Watson had thrown himself at her plant with no problems, while Sherlock had acted in clear jealousy. Oh the looks he kept shooting the two on the sofa. It was simply adorable.

"So, you think Watson will actually date her?" Kate asked.

"Oh I have no doubt. I thought she'd be perfect. Sort of a feminine replication of Sherlock. Give him a little extra confusion," Irene said with a smile. "And she's promised lots of videos and information and all that. She really is darling. We'll have to three-way again sometime."

Kate licked her lips at the very thought.

"In the meantime?"

"We leave Sherlock to stew a bit," she said. "Play on both of them in getting a bit jealous. Continue to confuse John. I have good confidence in the plan. In the meantime, I need you to keep an eye on those American gents. Don't want them barging in on us again."

Kate laughed. "Oh, come, you loved every minute of that. Or are you really going to deny your exhibitionist kink?"

Irene smiled. "No. I can't deny it. But it is a bit more fun when it's merely shocking people, not risking your own neck with the possibility of being shot at. Men and there guns. Silly things."

"Alright, I'll try to investigate that. In the meantime, you plan out giving me some more action from those two," Kate said.

"I'll try, darling," Irene promised, leaning over to peck at her lips. "But no guarantees. I think these two are going to be more stubborn than I'd initially thought. But eventually both of them are going to get what's coming."

A/N: Thanks to ChuYumeAkirameru, kismet38, and Mrs. Shezza Watson-Holmes for your feedback! Especially for the suggestion on Lestrade (though of course he doesn't know the full truth of course).

It might be a bit til the next update. I'm going on vacation for a week, so no promises on when then next one will be up. Just keep an eye out!

Please read and review!