The Break Up

Two weeks. That's how long he'd been without her. Fourteen days had pasted since he'd last heard her voice, it'd been three hundred and thirty-six hours since he'd last seen her smile. He rolled over in his barely used bed, and found that sleep eluded him without Kagome's company beside him. His alarm blared to life and he quickly silenced the annoying device. He'd been up for two hours already, just patiently waiting for it to go off.

Slowly Inuyasha rolled out of bed and allowed his sheets to fall from around his waist. He walked to the bathroom and gave himself a hard look in the mirror. His hair was a tangled mess, his usually tawny skin was starting to look pale, and the bags under his eyes had bags. His violet eyes, always guarded but lively, now looked unfocused and hazy. In short he was a mess, and for the life of him he couldn't find the energy to pull himself together.

She wasn't returning his calls or responding to his texts. He went to her place multiple times and she refused to answer the door. He tried waiting for her after class, but Sango was always there to tell him to fuck off. It was clear that Kagome didn't want anything to do with him, and what could he do besides respect her wishes? But his heart was heavy and he wanted nothing more than to simply apologize to her. He wanted to tell her that he didn't mean to hurt her, that the whole situation was one huge misunderstanding, and that if she could find it in her hear to forgive him, he'd make sure she'd never regret it.

Soon thereafter the young raven haired man, found himself sitting in class. Inuyasha kept his head turned towards the window during the whole lecture. Nothing could make him pay attention to this painfully boring lesson, not even Ayame pestering him every five minutes.

"What's wrong with you? You look like someone shot your dog." She whispered to him. He didn't move or make any indication that he heard her, so she tried again. "Helloooooo, earth to Yash. Anybody in there?" She obnoxiously knocked on his skull, the way you would a door, and all he did was flick her hand away.

"I'm not in the mood." He said lowly. It wasn't his words that caught her off guard, but the tone in which he said them. She'd never heard him sound so sad and resigned before. It made her worry a little. She was about to apologize and offer to chat with him after class, when Inuyasha bolted up right in his seat. He stood quickly, gaining the attention of the entire class when his chair scrapped loudly against the floor.

"You better have a good reason for interrupting my lecture son." The professer said angrily.

"Gotta take a piss." Inuyasha offered and bolted out the door. He'd been dutifully ignoring Ayame, when he caught a glimpse of her raven hair. She was sitting at a table right next to his building, pulling out her textbooks as if she was about to start studying. There was no Sango in sight and Inuyasha knew this might be his only chance to talk to her, without her guard dog watching over her.

He sprinted around the building in record time, but came to a halt when she finally came into his line of vision. Suddenly the confidence he'd felt left him, and in it's place was a crippling anxiety that practically left him breathless. The possible outcomes of the situation flooded his head and began to make his palms sweat.

'Best case scenario she let's me explain, accepts my apology, and takes me back.' He thought to himself. 'Next possibility, she accepts my apology and doesn't take me back, but she agrees to work on things.' And last but not least, the outcome he most feared would come true. 'She tells me to shove my apology and hates me forever.'

Well if he kept hiding in a corner he'd never find out, so with that he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and trudged forward. Her head was bent over in her books as she furiously took notes. Her lower lip nestled between her teeth in concentration. He was close to her now, so close he could hear her turning the pages of her textbook.

He took a deep breath, not exactly sure how he should get her attention. Though he didn't need to because as soon as he was five feet in front of her, she looked up at him. Her cocoa eyes boring into him with a mix of surprise, anger, and trepidation.

She stunned him and his heart skipped a beat. The small decrease in blood flowing to his brain only allowing him to say, "hey."

Today had to be one of the longest days of her life. She wasn't sure why, but this morning she woke up with a sense of dread so intense, she could feel it down to her toes. Though Kagome didn't worry too much about it. For the last two weeks she'd woken up with the same feeling everyday, because who knew when the day would finally come that she had to face Inuyasha.

'Inuyasha.' The thought of his name alone brought tears to her eyes, and the white hot fury she felt towards her sadness was enough to drive them away. How many days was she going to spend crying and feeling sorry for herself? No more, that's how many. Her intention would be set, she would tell herself that he was an ass, that he didn't deserve her, that she hated him, but then she'd open her drawer and find one of his shirts. Or she'd open the cabinet and see piles of his favorite ramen, and the strong walls that she thought she built would come tumbling down.

It'd been two weeks since she last saw his face. Fourteen days since she'd last slept in his arms, and she'd missed him every second of those fourteen days. Kagome sat in a daze through all her classes, she really hadn't been able to focus on much of anything as of late. But when her last class of the day finished, she promised herself she'd find a nice little spot on campus to get stuff done. Sango had offered to study with her, just in case she was bothered by anyone (i.e Inuyasha), but she'd declined and boy was she regretting that now.

She heard footsteps approaching her, at first she was tempted to just ignore whoever it was. She was sitting at a table in the middle of campus, so the foot traffic was pretty constant, but when the foot falls stopped, she decided to look up to figure out who was interrupting her study time.

Piercing violet met her gaze and for a moment she couldn't breathe. His eyes were overflowing with so many different things, she couldn't discern them all. And only the sound of his voice brought her back to present time.

"Hey." He said. His body was stiff, his tone low and lacking confidence, as if he wasn't sure he should be talking to her.

"Hi." She said awkwardly. She sat up momentarily putting her books to the side, and gestured for him to sit down.

He took a seat and placed his hands in his lap, drumming his fingers on his thighs in order to give himself something to do. Not once, even in the beginning of their relationship, had things ever been this awkward. When was the last time he'd been in Kagome's presence with nothing to say?

'Is this how it's gonna be from now on?' He thought to himself. 'How did we go from being best friends to complete strangers?'

"How have you been?" He asked after a moment. The silence the hardest thing to bear. He wanted her say something, anything, he wanted her to scream, to hit him. He wanted to know that the fiery girl he fell in love with was still in there.

"I've been good I guess, you?" Kagome wanted to flinch at their stale conversation. Was this what happened when you fell out of love?

'Who am I kidding? Even after everything I still love him. So much so that just looking at him hurts.'

"Okay I can't do this, this awkward small talk bullshit. This isn't us. How did this happen Kagome? How did we get here?"

"Oh I don't know, I think it started when I caught you in a compromising position with my very naked cousin." Kagome snapped back.

"I know what you saw looked bad, really, really bad, but I'm not lying when I say it wasn't what it looked like. She came onto me. I told her no, that I was with you, that I wasn't interested in her, you have to believe me." He grabbed her hands in his desperation to make her understand, but there was something in her eyes that let him know she was still holding back.

"Kikyou is my flesh and blood. She was the closest thing I had to a sister growing up, why would she just betray me like that? It doesn't make sense." Kagome said worrying her lip.

Inuyasha sighed knowing that it was time to finally come to clean. "Senior year spring break, when Miroku and I went to Cabo, we met Kikyou. She was older, she was fun, and she showed us a good time. Her and I had a fling, but it was nothing serious. We hooked up and then the trip was over and neither of us ever saw each other again, until she stopped by the apartment a couple weeks ago. That's why I didn't remember her until Miroku said something."

Kagome slowly pulled her hands out of Inuyasha's grip, her eyes taking on an unreadable emotion as she spoke. "And you're just now telling me this? You didn't think to say anything two weeks ago?"

Inuyasha flinched not able to discern whether she was hurt or angry, from her tone. Maybe a little of both? "I tried! When we were doing the dishes I was going to tell you, but I chickened out."

"Yeah and look where that got you!"

"I didn't know what to say to you! Oh hey Kagome by the way, I banged your cousin back in high school hope that's okay with you." He watched as Kagome's eyes blurred with anger and she suddenly began to furiously pack her things. Obviously sarcasm wasn't the way to win her back. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and began to walk away, and he hopped up to catch her before she could get too far.

"Kagome please!" He said grabbing her arm to stop her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I should've been honest with you about Kikyou, but it wasn't an easy thing for me to say. I would never willingly hurt you, and if you could just find it in your heart to forgive me...I'll spend the rest of our lives making up for it. Please."

The dam of tears she'd been holding back, finally broke at the end of his heart-felt apology. She could hear the sincerity of his tone, feel the desperation in his grip on her arm. Deep down she knew had no reason to turn him away, but still there this wall.

And she just wasn't ready to get over it yet.

"I believe you." She said finally. She felt the breath Inuyasha released and soon found her face buried in his strong chest. She'd missed his embrace more than anything, and so she relished in his scent and the feel of his strong arms around her. She brought her arms around in him in return and for the first time in two weeks she felt whole again.

"I'm so sorry Kagome. I love you."

Her body shook as she tried to hold in her sobs, but it was no use. His words cut her to core and she gripped him tighter, as if she was holding onto her resolve.

"I love you too Inuyasha, but...I need more time."

"What?" He placed his hands on her shoulders to put some distance between them. Looking at her face he could see the tears falling steadily down her cheeks and he knew that what she was trying to say wasn't easy for her.

"I need more time. I love you, I believe you and I accept your apology, but...I don't think you understand what seeing you like that with someone else did to me. I'm just not ready to pick up where we left off."

Inuyasha felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. He'd been so happy, so quick to assume that they would put this behind them and move on as if nothing had ever changed between them, and apparently that wasn't going to happen. She said she believed him, that she loved him, that she forgave, but that didn't mean she still trusted him.

"I'm sorry Inuyasha."

"Are we breaking up?" She looked down at her feet, his dejected tone almost enough to shake her resolution.

"I guess so... but this isn't the end for us! I just-"

"Need more time, right? I understand. I'll see you around Kagome." And as she watched Inuyasha walk away, she felt a steady rift open up between them, becoming wider and wider with every step he took. But it was something that had to be done. She needed to know that she could survive without him, that she was with him because she wanted to be, not because she needed to be.

She just hoped in the end, they could find their way back to each other.

Snow day = writing day

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